[Text] Pep Talk! Life's a constant evolution.

Submitted by whatastep t3_10kstii in GetMotivated

Your experience isn't futile or a waste of time. Honestly, I think many people aren’t fully grown until their 30s. We’ve got to learn so many things. We have no idea what's important, and it takes time to figure these things out.

Life is a constant evolution. Don’t think you’re late, you’re not.

Keep a few guides in mind:

- your well-being is the best guide. You can dedicate yourself to many things in life but your well-being is the measure of all of them.

- a path that’s sustaining your well-being is a good one. Again you can dedicate yourself to many things but you don’t need to, keep it manageable. You’re doing things according to your measure not according to others' measures.

- it doesn’t matter where you are or which stage of life you’re in. The sense of life doesn’t change, it’s well-being and the growth/improvement required to attain it.

- mindset is what makes you move in the right direction. View things through a positive lens: (I have time to grow toward the things I want in life (health/purpose/family/etc.). I’ll keep moving/growing from where I am now, and I’ll take small steps toward my well-being. I don’t care if it takes 5 years to get to a better place, what matters is that I pursue a life that I care for.)

- don’t expect it to be quick or easy. Parts of life can be very challenging. I struggled with parts of my life and would say that I only got to a place I cared for in life in my early thirties.

I know it can be challenging to look back with regret, but many people look at past regrets as important moments in their lives that allowed them to realize that they could try something else&new.

Most of my struggles were caused by a limited sense of what I should pursue in life. It caused me to think of an easier way for people to identify professional paths that suit them. I made it available here.

I hope this helps.

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Skiwar t1_j5spdp7 wrote

Thank you for reminding that I am not late in life. I appreciate you!

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[deleted] t1_j5uyfxj wrote

I'm in my 40s.

Some people's lives just suck

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whatastep OP t1_j5wqcve wrote

Yes, some people find themselves in very difficult situations. In my view, that doesn’t change the approach. You still need to identify small steps you can take. These steps need to be guided by what you consider an improvement/positive/well-being. You still need to keep growing to attain more of the thing you want in life (even if some are out of reach, not all are). And your mindset is what makes you react to the world positively.

My grandfather became a widower in his 50’s. He remarried at 63 and had time to have two children and see two grandchildren which he always wanted (first wife couldn’t have children).

There are moments of pain and grief, but keeping the things you want as the goal (even if you can’t manage all) is essential if you intend to pursue a life you care for. This doesn’t mean that we’re always well, sometimes we are pretty unwell.

Please understand that I intend this as encouragement, not as a denial of great difficulties in life.

I wish you the best.

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[deleted] t1_j5xgqow wrote

But ultimately to what goal? Not everyone wants kids, not everyone can achieve a great legacy! Do you believe that some persons, from the moment their existence becomes a reality, are doomed to live an awful and harsh life, this without reason or explanation, being applied to their situation? Aren’t some people just preordained to suffer for the good of others, or are just incapable of achieving happiness through the actions taken by people in control of the situation they are born or live in that will have an even more detrimental/negative impact on their current situation/life/future potential? For e.g ( human trafficking, rape victims.etc.). What is the goal then, to the person who is setback consistently and cannot overcome? Is this aspect and reality of life that many face not known and understood by the wider public?(rhetorical) Please do not answer this, as the truth is the lives of the few who could understand this message will not be known nor understood. The truth is not everyone can be happy ! ! ! The truth is not everyone will be understood! And the truth is some people lead a much more difficult life than they are equipped to deal with!

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whatastep OP t1_j5xsept wrote

>Simple_Difference_98

What’s your point? Something very bad happens, and you don’t ever get to do anything to overcome it? Maybe, but these sound like extreme situations. In most situations, people can act to improve their lives and should be encouraged to do so. (Just in case you missed it, that’s what I’m doing.)

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[deleted] t1_j5xwimh wrote

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. the fact that you’re so sensitive to my response tells me you’re young and probably sheltered to the reality of these situations and issues that others may face. It’s good to have that mindset and perspective towards challenges and people in general, however, just remember that while being optimistic, may help in some situations, there are truly issues faced by many people that cannot be solved with motivation or “self help”or any offered help. And this my friend is the reality that leads many people to contemplate suicide or go even further to end their lives. not every situation can be fixed! Not every problem has a solution! But I get ur point ofc, always be helpful and motivate others In every situation where possible. Please continue to do this 🙏, and please also be enlightened to remember that some situations are beyond our control, and beyond salvation of any means. This might not be something extremely common, but is indeed a fact and a reality lived by many people or even generations of people! It’s just not shared readily among people who have not lived such experiences.

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whatastep OP t1_j5y12yd wrote

Don’t worry I don’t take your words the wrong way. I do appreciate you sharing what you know.

Also, I’m not young or inexperienced.

We’re talking about the lives of other people that may or not overcome a particular difficulty. And I do agree with you that there are situations that are beyond us and can eat us whole (a lion for example).

I’d point you to the two examples you gave (human trafficking, rape victims) fortunately I don’t know anyone who suffered from the first, but I do know someone who suffered from the latter. Don’t you know people that were able to move beyond great difficulties?

And if some people overcame such difficulties why would we say to someone else that they can’t?

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[deleted] t1_j5y25oz wrote

Don’t lean into those two aforementioned points, I’m just using them to highlight that there are situations that can start a series of events, which may lead to a downward spiral in a person’s life, leading them to an irreversible and sometimes irredeemable position. (A lion eating someone whole)? Seriously?? Just facts! Though usually appreciated, optimism isn’t always the right answer, sometimes just being realistic and approaching the situation “head on” will make people better off.

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whatastep OP t1_j5y8nzd wrote

Don’t lean into the examples you used? Why? They’re only valid when it serves your viewpoint? Will you then choose another example that isn’t a tragedy of life like a lion eating you. So we don’t get trapped in fantasy.

And then I’ll ask you: Did anyone that suffered from that difficulty ever moved passed it, or built a positive life afterward?

Do you agree with this? - Despite a tragic event in life you can aim at and do positive things, things a friend would recommend you to do. But sometimes people choose another path, a path that instead of promoting their potential diminishes it. (drugs/alcoholism/or any other harmful action).

This is what I mean, a constructive path that leads to well-being vs a path that takes you further from it.

This is the point I am trying to make. I’m not saying that a fatality can’t destroy a life.

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[deleted] t1_j5xx651 wrote

Simply put, once you become a victim of a specific situation, it is possible for you to become “too far gone” in the sense of redeeming yourself. I don’t say this to discourage you only to enlighten. Please continue to fight for your dreams and always encourage others to do the same!🙏

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