Here’s what I’ve found works best for me. It’s pretty simple:

Get a cheap shaker bottle

1 scoop of deep, crippling body-image issues

1 scoop of powerful feelings of self-loathing

1/2 scoop of fitness influencer Instagram pics

Handful of selfies at your worst physical shape

Shake that bitch up

Drink it down in one go, and you’ll never be satisfied with your body again!

Oh, but it’ll get you to the gym.