I subscribed to your newsletter, I honestly appreciate the work you are doing. I will be working alongside you hoping I too reach old age not tainted by bitterness and the works.

Hopefully I can become a positive influence to the people around me, because I don't bother reaching out anymore. Thank you for your post *and the reply.

I think this is another misuse of the word beautiful. There are so many better words to chose here

Thankyou!

I’m glad this post resonated with you! And I really appreciate the kind words 🙏

Don't ever delete this. We need more people like you in our lives to remind us of true value.

not true sorry

Masquerading is throughout all ages. It's worse with adults than with kids.

happy late bday!!

Best off to avoid people as much as possible.

Very stoic.

Does sound like a new programming lanuage.

It's not a binary. Your options aren't "totally fake" or "drive everyone away with your unvarnished personality." A period of politeness and civility and getting to know someone and letting them get to know you is good and healthy.

Advice like "just show everyone all the bits of you, all at once, without context" is a great way to stay alone forever, and attitudes like "the right people will immediately like you, so if someone doesn't love everything about you from day 1 you should cut them out of your life entirely" are toxic.

damn you

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I've always thought that the amount of people at your funeral is like your actual stat points that you've achieved in life.

That’s a good point—the absence of self could definitely lead us to fill the void with characteristics we admire regardless of if they exist or not

Thanks for sharing that 🙌

We have no clue who we are when we’re younger. I didn’t feel like I had a sense of self until I was 30. Once you’re older and know who you are, there’s little f’s to give about what others think.

Good advice to externalizer and rationalize my personality defects that others correctly avoid.

lol no. you have to make people be around you, no one ever makes any effort to be close

That’s really well said!

You not giving two licks of a lolipop reminded me of a quote that goes something like this:

"When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks. When you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks. When you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place."

It’s interesting to think of it like a pendulum. I wonder if it’s better to be in the middle or the extreme end of not caring

Thanks for sharing this 🙌

From one POV, as we mature, we lose that “need” to be validated for how we “appear” to others and gain the need to be validated for “who we REALLY are” and be respected for the wisdom gained through adversity and life experiences. I know for me I was greatly motivated in my 20’s-mid30’s by appearing as if I have my shit together. Life stuff burst that bubble of facade. I now don’t give two licks of lollipop what you may think of me. It’s as if I’ve swung from one extreme yo the other on the spectrum of people pleasing. Perhaps, being burned one too many times makes me stay out of the playground of bullshit. Hoping I will swing into a pleasant middle ground so I can appear to have my shit together even when I don’t feel it.

Yes! I always think if you look back at your past self and don't cringe at yourself you probably arnt progessing much.

I hope it resonated with you! Appreciate you letting me know 😄

I feel like in some environments it feels necessary to masquerade a little bit. Like in the workplace when you’re trying to build your income you want to be perceived as valuable as possible.

But I feel like overall masquerading is harmful because we could get so caught up in seeking validation from others we don't focus on satisfying ourselves.

Probably the wisest read I’ve ever set eyes on.