Recent comments in /f/Jokes

Seasonunending- t1_j1moeir wrote

Reply to Yo mama so fat.. by johnwick76

Your mother’s so that that

  • when she steps on a scale it reads “one at a time please”

  • she can easily use her underwear as a parachute

  • you have to roll her in flour just to find the wet spot

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Lambchops78 t1_j1mmz06 wrote

Reply to Yo mama so fat.. by johnwick76

She uses a VCR for a beeper. ..

For those that are younger….

A VCR plays movies on a large cassette type tape called a VCR tape. A beeper was for people to message you their phone number to call them. In the later life of beepers, there was limited text function.

4

amerkanische_Frosch t1_j1mluwc wrote

Reply to comment by marco-polo-123 in I was on a date and she said you smell nice, what have you got on? by TaylorFujii

Fellow picks up a girl in a bar, takes her home, they kiss, they make out, and one thing leads to another and there they are, in bed, naked.

After some exciting foreplay, the fellow is about to consummate the deed, when the girl moans: "your toe, I want your toe!"

"EH?" the fellow responds.

"Your TOE", screams the girl, "TAKE ME WITH YOUR BIG TOE!"

Ever the gentlemen, the fellow complies.

A couple of days later, the fellow calls the girl on the phone.

"Err...I don't quite know how to tell you this, but I've been diagnosed with syphilis of the big toe."

The girl screams into the phone:

"You think THAT's something? I have ATHLETE'S CUNT!"

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