Nobody cares where it came from

For fuck's sake. I didn't claim to write it. A buddy told me a few jokes the other day, I thought they were funny and posted them. Turns out my buddy did indeed see a Jimmy Carr special and then told me the jokes. I don't think "stolen" means what you think it does.

Dear Jimmy Car- you're jokes are funny as shit, and people ar retelling them. Hopefully that makes you happy!

Literally Carcass

Bc you can jizz everywhere and anywhere without a care in the world

[deleted]

Me

This is why I'd have my wife have sex with her boyfriend at a hotel. More peaceful nights and sleeping hours for me.

All americans think hitler used ovens to gas/grill jews. No he used lockerroom showers to trick the jews into thinking they got a fresh bath, instead gas came out of the things they thought were water taps

The lyricists are often misunderstood

Yeah you can see me hollering at the beginning when he comes out! Of course I can only see, but yeah it was a crazy show.

finish off other people's sentences? No I don't have a problem with that at all.

Stolen from Jimmy Carr

you actually went? I'm so damn jealous :O

He died when I was 2 and I discovered him maybe 2/3 years ago

TLDR

Why us everyone here giving actual answers? It was a joke...

"If english was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for me" -- Ma Ferguson, former Governor of Texas

"Es tut mir leid"

Happy spouse, happy house...

If you're in Germany, you're turning that salmon into a shark.

i dont get it

I was gonna go to that special as well, I went to "Life is worth losing" but alas, it was a transport nightmare.

I'm using marijuana to smoke my salmon.

Punchline also works for why the beer at the bar goes down so much better

Hard to apologize with no face

You can’t eat peace for hours.