Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Immortal-one t1_j2e7cfa wrote
Reply to comment by andywalker76 in So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice ... by ThomasKatt
Or at least suspended to a cross by nailing their hands and feet to it
Bkwrzdub t1_j2e7190 wrote
Reply to comment by Awesum51Merc in A man goes before Saint Peter... by SchwarzeHaufen
Two weeks from everywhere!
Inked-Sailor t1_j2e70wp wrote
Reply to comment by No-Example-XO in Jerry’s is naming a pizza after Andrew Tate by Kat121
He wouldn't be spouting his alpha male self improvement bullshit if he was humble and thought people were his equal.
enoughPhase752 t1_j2e6vuo wrote
Nice joke, but it doesn’t actually work.At 6:30 the hour hand is half-way to the number 7 already, it is not pointing down.
The closest you can actually get to ‟hands down” is 6:28.
(Or around 6:27:30 if you’ve a seconds hand as well, or between 6:27:41 and 6:27:42 if you do not have a seconds hand and your minute hand moves continuously, as opposed to jumping once per minute.)
And yes, I’m fun at parties, thanks for noticing :)
PygmeePony t1_j2e6p5a wrote
Not the bottoms.
trebuchet_facts t1_j2e6nda wrote
Not much could be said about the Bi's, the stats go both ways
Spaceace91478 t1_j2e6e5c wrote
Reply to comment by OverallManagement824 in A man walks into a department store by sunflour4
Can't it be both? :)
SuzyLouWhoo t1_j2e6c53 wrote
Reply to comment by CatherinePiedi in A man walks into a department store by sunflour4
How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer?
Invite two
orionparrott t1_j2e64xy wrote
“So I said to myself, self: why don’t you think about someone else for a change? Like me!”
Ploppeldiplopp t1_j2e63se wrote
Reply to comment by Awesum51Merc in A man goes before Saint Peter... by SchwarzeHaufen
Naah. Look up how the borders in europe shifted over the last century, it's wild how many different governments some places (and people) saw.
One of my grandparents was born in a place that is now polish, but it changed hands between Poland and Germany (or Prussia way back when) so often it's just ridiculous imho.
vr0202 t1_j2e5v0x wrote
He went to heaven to avoid meeting again with thousands of cardinals, bishops and priests.
Actual-Situation4959 t1_j2e5q2n wrote
Reply to comment by Flat-Delivery6987 in Ex-pope Benedikt XVI died to day, went to heaven an became an angel by Rondine1990
sounds like it, yeah.
RibaldPancake OP t1_j2e5mjv wrote
Reply to comment by hsvsunshyn in As the alien onslaught continued, linguists were working furiously to translate the only message they’d received in response to our plea to understand why they were attacking. by RibaldPancake
It wasn't necessarily the alien's head...
HoneyBudz t1_j2e5h32 wrote
Hahaha
circus4fools_u_me t1_j2e5d9l wrote
Fuck if I know
datageek9 t1_j2e56u1 wrote
Reply to comment by BrAkE_FlyER in Vladimir Putin loses his favorite watch by nostopthoughts
The Odessa clashes of 2014 were terrible, but committed by citizens, not the Ukrainian government. If you believe that the 1000s of atrocities committed by Russian soldiers under Putin’s orders this year are justified then you will find no friends here, just bad karma.
hsvsunshyn t1_j2e4ztz wrote
Narrheim t1_j2e4zmb wrote
Reply to comment by Snorc in A man goes before Saint Peter... by SchwarzeHaufen
Unfortunately, the mother superior was a KGB agent too...
Gold_Swordfish4552 t1_j2e4z3e wrote
Reply to what is an English teachers favorite cereal? by athwolf
Golden Grammars
microbiologist_36 t1_j2e4jqt wrote
Oh, mawma! They Are all LIVING!
the_real_Potatofight t1_j2e4ixl wrote
Reply to comment by Just-Call-Me-Jim in A duck sees a sad man on a park bench. by [deleted]
No This is a lemonade stand
watchmaker82 t1_j2e4ep5 wrote
Reply to comment by tangre79 in Benedict and Barbara arrive together at the pearly gates... by pescadode74
We're on Reddit we've wasted way more than that! 😁
OverallManagement824 t1_j2e48p9 wrote
Reply to comment by Spaceace91478 in A man walks into a department store by sunflour4
Man, nicely done! I can't tell if this is stupid or funny and that's amusing to me!
greedydita t1_j2e3xw6 wrote
Reply to If you put Holy Water in a humidifier by kearnel81
You get eve apparition.
Szuma1985 t1_j2e7fh1 wrote
Reply to What is-hands down- the best time on the clock? by Arkvoodle42
I disagree, 12:00 is actually what's up