Recent comments in /f/Jokes
resistible t1_j2f3hlv wrote
Reply to comment by Ytrog in A man walks into a department store by sunflour4
That's a fascinating question. Would agnostics and atheists free boob?
The_iron_lung t1_j2f3ec1 wrote
UnnecessaryAppeal t1_j2f32wi wrote
Reply to comment by nittanylns in Police found a large number of dead crows on the A251 just outside Ashford yesterday morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Bird Flu... by mykeuk
Boston, like most English accents, is non-rhotic
(We don't pronounce the "r" at the end of words in the UK either)
[deleted] t1_j2f2rj6 wrote
Reply to comment by PygmeePony in An LGBQT cruising ship sinks in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? by damluk
[removed]
ihatehavingtosignin t1_j2f2m4n wrote
Reply to comment by drubbo in What do you call an event where a likely sexual predator puts on a dress and reads stories to children? by Hitler_the_Painter
This is called metonymy. Don’t try to be a language pedant if you don’t understand figurative language
ztreHdrahciR t1_j2f2kmw wrote
Reply to What do Alcoholics call New Year's Eve? by investinlove
I haven't heard this since 1984. Thanks for the memory!
dbmillbc t1_j2f2fik wrote
Reply to comment by GMXIX in How do werewolves make bechamel sauce? by NetDork
It is a sauce with a roux'd base
Billiebillieba t1_j2f26xz wrote
Reply to comment by drubbo in What do you call an event where a likely sexual predator puts on a dress and reads stories to children? by Hitler_the_Painter
Church refers to the institution of a Christian religion as well as the building itself, mass being one of the various services performed there so OP is correct.
Edit. Also, by using "Church" OP doesn't limit the joke to just the Roman Catholics, there have indeed been cases of Religious Fuckwittery in other Parts of the Non-Critical Thinkers... pardon me... Religious groups and their numerous denominations.
headyrooms t1_j2f222k wrote
Reply to Guess what? by [deleted]
Chicken butt
YesFuture2022 t1_j2f1y34 wrote
Reply to comment by keyboardstatic in My new year’s resolution is I’m going to be less condescending. by Make_the_music_stop
The president of Iran in 1950 Mohammad Mosaddegh would meet with people while in bed.
ramaham t1_j2f1x18 wrote
none, they all went down
EyeLike2Watch t1_j2f1s4r wrote
Reply to comment by LeFondonn in Police found a large number of dead crows on the A251 just outside Ashford yesterday morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Bird Flu... by mykeuk
You've been hit by
You've been struck by
A huge fuckintruck
cheeseburgersarecool t1_j2f1qz7 wrote
Reply to comment by CaliBigWill in My grandpa was a hunter of moose between the 60’s and 70’s. He killed 47 moose in 69 by [deleted]
Damn that is actually better. I’ll delete this and reupload that
TooShiftyForYou t1_j2f1om4 wrote
The other day I showed my daughter my brand new first tattoo.
She said, "Well that was an interesting decision, what is it?"
I told her, "It's my coffee thermos, from work."
"Really?" she asked, leaning in closer to examine. "The lines are OK, I guess..."
I promptly swatted her hand away, "Hey now, don't touch the thermos tat."
axon225 OP t1_j2f1o4k wrote
Reply to comment by NotionAquarium in I realized why girls like tall men by axon225
Honestly I’m not really joking either. The number of profiles i see where a girl has a cropped photo of her with her ex is insane
GoodRevolutionary657 t1_j2f1o4i wrote
The lesbians because when everybody was grabbing lifeboats the girls were all “Lickity split”, but the boys were still busy packing their shit!
hurricanekeri t1_j2f1efe wrote
Reply to Guess what? by [deleted]
Since last year
Rossum81 t1_j2f1bh6 wrote
Reply to Police found a large number of dead crows on the A251 just outside Ashford yesterday morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Bird Flu... by mykeuk
Would also work on the Mass Pike.
NotionAquarium t1_j2f1a3e wrote
Reply to I realized why girls like tall men by axon225
Finally, not a pun. Kudos!
sevakmaheshr t1_j2f1619 wrote
Reply to comment by sherriffflood in A man walks into a department store by sunflour4
r/therealjoke
flurbius t1_j2f15mf wrote
Reply to comment by kyttan1 in Police found a large number of dead crows on the A251 just outside Ashford yesterday morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Bird Flu... by mykeuk
What kind of sad alcoholic are you? (sorry I though IRN BRU must have been alcoholic)
fukkitdick t1_j2f11qf wrote
Reply to comment by NyzzByzz in Ex-pope Benedikt XVI died to day, went to heaven an became an angel by Rondine1990
jeez it's a joke dude! btw if god was so great that he could make the universe and everything in it but can bring Dahmer or Bundy back from the dead n say to everyone repent for I have been to hell and it's a horrible place.
jokerfest t1_j2f108q wrote
Reply to comment by shuckster in A man goes before Saint Peter... by SchwarzeHaufen
My friends and I used to see who could hold the "waaaaaaaaay" part longest. People turning blue in the face and gurgling 'weh'. Good times!
gwardotnet t1_j2f3l2f wrote
Reply to An LGBQT cruising ship sinks in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? by damluk
LGBTQ