Recent comments in /f/Jokes
JDMultralight t1_j4qzpx6 wrote
I forgot the show this was from but one character was a super rich guy in his mansion:
Girl: “How does your dish washer work?”
Billionaire: “You just wordlessly press the trays into his chest”
Commercial_Cold7614 t1_j4qz5ir wrote
Fired him, kept her.
12angelo12 t1_j4qxmcx wrote
Reply to comment by trivia_guy in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
Aren’t they GMO fruits made from pickles
trivia_guy t1_j4qutre wrote
Reply to comment by TenRingRedux in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
I hope you’re joking and don’t seriously think cucumbers didn’t exist in 1890.
Existing-Bake5162 t1_j4qtjq6 wrote
Reply to comment by pladin517 in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
I heard it was a pickle peeler...
Codate t1_j4qqze6 wrote
This one took me a minute
TenRingRedux OP t1_j4qquh1 wrote
Reply to comment by pladin517 in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
I don't think they had cucumbers in 1890.
Corn huskers maybe.
As a MOF, it works well with corn, corn shucker, corn husker.
Yeah! He got caught with in in the corn shucker! in 1890.
TenRingRedux OP t1_j4qqpog wrote
Reply to comment by ringobob in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
"Oldie but goodie".
TenRingRedux OP t1_j4qqhxe wrote
Reply to comment by phonlyone in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
A friend of mine once showed up at a Halloween party completely naked except for a bag of peanuts draped over his member.
I caught him at the door and asked "Are you fecking crazy?!"
He replied "No, I'm fecking nuts!"
Mikesaidit36 t1_j4ql5a4 wrote
Reply to comment by DiamondBurInTheRough in Dear Son by harrygatto
No, he meant that he didn’t get the money.
Einar_47 t1_j4qk79b wrote
Reply to comment by pladin517 in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
Well yeah but they thought tomatoes were poisonous so naturally they wouldn't have them in a professional kitchen.
Greedoscolddeadhands t1_j4qj5m1 wrote
Reply to comment by HillaryRClinton in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
This joke can be inclusive quite easily, as well.
“I got fired for sticking my duck in the dish washer.”
“What happened to the dishwasher?”
“He got fired too.”
See, inclusive.
phonlyone t1_j4qh6xi wrote
I caught my dad with his cock in the biscuit tin. I asked Mum what was going on and was told to ignore him, 'Hes fucking crackers'
JackoboiobokcaJ t1_j4qcj0v wrote
Reply to comment by Modified_Human in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
Certified woman moment
ReasonableQuit75 t1_j4qc8wi wrote
Reply to comment by chux4w in Dear Son by harrygatto
Flushed em down the turlit
Mikesaidit36 t1_j4qbf2r wrote
Reply to comment by gm7410 in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
Right, further complicating a botched joke. Plus, for a minute I was thinking about fried tomatoes – thanks, dyslexia.
Mikesaidit36 t1_j4qayfw wrote
Reply to comment by listerinebreath in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
THANK you. I couldn’t get past my visceral response to having one’s penis sliced and diced.
Narayan4632 t1_j4q9x56 wrote
No sad feeling for restaurant worker but tomato slicer, it's no easy job with all tomato and slicing..
MaleficentBaseball6 t1_j4q8np2 wrote
Reply to comment by Tidesticky in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
We should change our names to Gene/Jean, lol
DiamondBurInTheRough t1_j4q80b5 wrote
Reply to comment by WanoWolf in Dear Son by harrygatto
Then she could’ve included the $20s.
RedditVince t1_j4q7thv wrote
Reply to comment by HillaryRClinton in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
Oh I am sure there are... Think the canning industry... :)
harrygatto OP t1_j4q7t06 wrote
Reply to comment by CooperDaChance in Dear Son by harrygatto
Yes.
listerinebreath t1_j4q6ugn wrote
Reply to comment by pladin517 in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
This guy didn’t even get the delivery right. He’s supposed to tell his wife he was fired for sticking his dick in the pickle slicer, then she asks “what happened with the pickle slicer” and he says “oh, she was fired too”
lesser_tom t1_j4q6b4c wrote
I don't get it reads again huh, wha- oooooh, i get it now
gigaswardblade t1_j4r1r50 wrote
Reply to comment by Existing-Bake5162 in A restaurant worker was caught with his penis in the tomato slicer. by TenRingRedux
Pickle pee? Pump a rum?