Recent comments in /f/LifeProTips

keepthetips t1_j29wze6 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

JamesLeBond t1_j29wjr5 wrote

Others have said it, but I feel it needs to be repeated.

Cut negative people out of your life. This person is one of those people. Make yourself busier. A project. Work. Family. Or just unavailability. Don't feel guilty about it.

I had to make a similar type of decision to make years ago. I had a friend, both of us male, who started to grope me. I kid you not he'd meet me in the bar and he'd get a full fist full of my balls. He thought it was hilarious. I hated it. So I got "busy" doing other things, became unavailable.

Funny, only now when I look back I realise it was sexual abuse 🤣.

Anyway, the point is, you will NOT regret cutting this person out of your life. Was the best decision I ever made, it will be yours too.

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AwesomeGrapefruit t1_j29w65p wrote

It doesn't always work. Some guys just end up with dozens of women as friends and that's as far as it goes.

I mean, it's not a bad thing. So many guys don't care to have women as friends. You can make some amazing friends who genuinely love and care about you, who you can talk to about pretty much anything. It's something a lot of guys are missing out on if they only talk to women to get laid or be in a relationship.

But it still kinda sucks. Humans need intimacy in some form or another, not just friends. You could have a million friends that you talk to each and every day, and still feel so depressingly lonely.

Just another LPT to go along with this one: some women can be super affectionate and display a lot of those signs of attraction... and still not really be attracted to you. They can keep eye contact, always find an excuse to get close to or touch you, be super bubbly, call you first thing in the morning to tell you about dreams they had, and not mean any of it in a romantic sense. Or at least not seriously. Sometimes I think women like to have guy friends they can do those things with just cause. I'm sure some guys are guilty of it too.

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keepthetips t1_j29vht5 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

keepthetips t1_j29vecq wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

FoldingFan1 t1_j29upkp wrote

If you have not tried it yet, try to have a conversation about it. In most cases it's best to talk to them one on one. Let them know you have a serious concern and what to talk. Think about what they do that bothers you and what they could do (and what you are/ are not willing to do) to improve the situation.

A friend is someone that takes you serious when you tell them you feel like a punching bag. They are willing to look at their own behaviour, apologize where needed and it matters to them that you feel that way.

So two things can happen:

  1. The result is a good and honest talk, after which the situation changes (immediately). Then the friendship will have evolved into a better one.
  2. the result is not a good talk (they don't take you serious, or laugh at you or tell you to not be a softy, erc). Then the friendship was really not a friendship at all.

Option 3) is ghosting but then you don't give them a change of outcome 1.

Option 4) is to do nothing. Your resentment will likely grow over time (the fact that you ask the question makes it very likely that you are getting fed up). So the friendship most likely won't last.

So talking can be scary and a risk. But (assuming you stayed friends all this time because of the good things) it has the larges change for this to take a positive turn. The friendships you loose over it are the ones you are better of without, the ones that evolve are worth keeping.

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