I cant find my jerb bere...

As someone who has been on the other end of these conversations, knowing market rates is good but dont bank on those. Its easy for a company to say "we dont pay that here". Market averages are just that, averages. High mixed with low.

But understand what you can be making somewhere else and what value you bring to the table. Go high, but not insultingly high because they will probably go low. Understand what your true bottom line is and hold it. If they reject it, let them know you are dissapointed in their offer and quietly start looking for another job. They wont pay you what you want and your best bet it go somewhere else.

Specifically, www.onetonline.org and drill down to your location (state, major metropolitan area) then you can see what your job pays, the low, the mean, the average, and the high. You can even see what degrees people have for that position.

I used to teach students career preparation including how to negotiate salaries, for more than 15yrs.

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Thank you!

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Ask if they’ve ever heard the glorious gospel of your new Lord and Savior.
Operate as if being sucked into a cult. They prolly won’t even wave goodbye.

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That’s kinda the point, if they’re negative people and they have negative thoughts about you (double negative) that’s good

It doesn’t matter if they resent you. Make peace with your needs first and foremost. You don’t owe anybody anything.

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You're welcome. I'm going through something similar with someone who is thankfully now in my past, so I understand how tough it can be and how wrong it can feel to think that your actions might be hurting them. But it's important to remember that some people are unreasonable, and it's their own actions and demands that are hurting them, not you - you're looking out for yourself, and that is what you should prioritize. It gets easier the more you do it.

Wishing you the best on all of this. <3

You’re right, very insightful advice. Thank you

Exactly, very well put my friend, we can’t save everyone

Come play with us? Nah, no time today, sorry. Maybe next week!

Keep it up until they stop contacting you

What have they done to indicate they want you to fail?

If they perceive you standing up for yourself as an "attack" on them, that is a problem internal to them and you are not responsible for it in any way.

Let toxic people be toxic and suffer the consequences of their actions. You cannot save them if they do not want to change, and you should not waste your time, your energy or your life trying to.

Thank you, I’ve tried but I can’t help to think that they’re resenting me… I know it’s selfish

If that’s how you presume them to feel then simply ghost them, they don’t deserve a response from you if that’s how they want to act, block them, ignore all contact and go about your life if that’s what will truly make you happy, don’t let people hold you back, especially shitty friends

This is great advice and I do thank you for this, however, I don’t think they have the same mindset as we do about self-development and being a better version of ourselves. I think this would perceived as an “attack” and be even more toxic and spread bs that’s why I am trying to quiet quit and avoid confrontation.

This. Literally just walk away. Stop talking to them, stop interacting with them, remove them on any social media. Do not engage if you see them in public.

I had to do this with a toxic ex recently, and it's literally as simple as telling yourself "I'm not doing this anymore" and being done with them.

Stand up for yourself, if people are treating you or acting a certain way towards you that you don’t like you don’t owe anybody anything and/or have to hang out with them, and if they ask why then you tell them. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself once you realize you create your own destiny and attract whatever you want to attract into your life.