This Is Water: https://youtu.be/eC7xzavzEKY

Someone else posted this as well. This is a great outlook and I surprisingly.hadnt heard it before. I will try to emphasise this to myself throughout the day.

/s?

Thanks so much! I am not a writer but my husband has complimented me on it before. I'm not sure why, haha. English is not my first language.

Your tip is wonderful and a great exercise to try. In combination with not responding on your first thought. I have ADHD so it can be difficult sometimes.

What I try to do is to find something to compliment. "What a beautiful blouse." "That tattoo is great, where'd you get it?" "What an awesome car!" That type of thing. It helps keep me thinking positively about people and I'd like for people to feel good about themselves if they interact with me.

BTW, your ability to express yourself is fantastic. I wonder if you are a writer.

The main thing is being aware when you’re making a judgement that’s unearned. Then, you try to balance it with something more positive.

“That person looks homeless, I bet they’re a lazy drug addict”

—> That person has probably had a very hard life and probably wishes they had the skill and opportunity needed to change their circumstances

“You have to be stupid to end up stuck serving pizza at her age”

—> Not everyone has access to quality education, even if they’re plenty smart enough to succeed

“My friend is such a childish geek, watching kids’ cartoons all the time.”

—>My friend has a harmless hobby and even if it’s unusual, there’s nothing with that

Remember: it’s not your first thoughts that define you, it’s your second thoughts. If you don’t buy into the judgements that spring into your head, they don’t mean anything.

Hmmmmmm are you being judgmental?

I read somewhere that your first though is what you were taught to think and your second thought it what you actually think. (It was worded better though).

This helped me accept and reflect on those initial judgments. To be able to notice that I thought something negative, then follow-up with it and correct myself internally. The more I did this the more the judgy thoughts felt like my own and the less common they became.

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It was a joke, precious.

Just stop giving a shit about other people

Assume that external factors lead to persons behavior, not something intrinsic in a person. Person acted irrationally not because he is "dumb", but because he was distracted or there is a misunderstanding or he dropped out of school at 16 cuz money issues.

Dude. The topic was "how to become a less judgey person?"

So the first thing I do is be a judgey person. That's not self-evident sarcasm?

Don't care. You were just judgey twice now, so whatever. This is getting too mired in muck to follow...

Acceptance. Accept what you can’t control. Don’t have to like it. Accept it. Move on.

We all have automatic thoughts that we cannot control, we can however notice them and challenge them.

What I like to do is when I notice my brain creating a judgement or prejudice against someone, to create a story that’s the opposite. For example, when someone cuts me off they could be a jerk or they could be on the way to see their dying grandmother for the first time and need to make it to the hospital. A person steps out in traffic without looking could be an idiot but they could be distracted by a text saying their dog got hit by a car.

I find that the longer I catch my immediate thoughts and create stories like this, the kinder that initial thought becomes (we’re talking years here) the very first step is noticing it happening, the second is finding a way to be kinder in thought.

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Great tip!

I struggled with this when I was younger. Still not perfect by any means.

What helped me the most was by mindfully slowing down my thoughts and reactions. Giving yourself a couple extra seconds to respond can do wonders if practiced over time.

Also try to build more diverse peer groups, travel, and read read read!

Lmao don’t you think if I could afford bread from a bakery I wouldn’t need to freeze the bread I get from a grocery store in a plastic bag. I live in America where I get to choose from the bread stocked at Walmart or the bread stocked at Target. I don’t have the luxury of living a nice European country where I can pop over to the bakery for ‘proper bread.’ That would be nice though

Sorry, but proper bread does not come in bags. Unless it's a paper bag that your bakery gave you and that is no good for freezing.

You’re welcome.

This is also an interesting pov. Thanks!

Meh, judge away. Life’s too short for shitty people. Just keep the judgements to yourself and don’t be a bigot. 🍻

Your response made me realise I mean I don't want to jump to negative conclusions to quickly, perhaps. I stead of just judging.

Will do haha!