Agreed. If it's verbal, don't even wait 5 seconds to react. HOWEVER, try not to escalate OR minimize. Just give them the same tone, energy, attitude they gave you. That way they know it's just a correction not a fight.

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IMHO the best time and place to be intentional about establishing healthy relationship dynamics is the first week of a new job. A lesson I wish I'd learned 20 years earlier.

People can be bothered by a thing without “going in hot”. Having your feelings get hurt but being emotionally mature means you can call it out without rage or impulsivity being in play

I’d add that most of this is true with being vocal and assertive about nice things that happen with other people in the moment too.

Not sure I agree that lash out OR be a people-pleasing wimp are the only options. Assertiveness includes other concepts like diplomacy, observation skills, empathy, and doing the work on yourself so that when you open your mouth, your actual truth comes out rather than just some words you let yourself be emotionally triggered to say.

It would be best to learn how to respond, not to just respond.

If you're on this thought process; well done! I'm currently reading a book called "Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess" by Dr Caroline Leaf and it's changed the way I interact with people and act daily. Title is a little harsh and there is (as with all books) information that won't apply to you and can be filtered out but I think it's worth a read just for the self awareness it gives. Being effortful and conscious about the way you live day to day life literally rewires your brain on a molecular scale.

This post is about being productive and the covid thing may be true but it’s is pretty unrelated. It’s like if I posted “doesn’t apply after open heart surgery” like obviously it doesn’t apply to everyone.

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I’m on the thing now, I’m on whatever you are on!!

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I do not agree that someone’s feelings should be the #1 priority. Simply put, feelings are not facts. As others have said, give yourself time to cool down and process and then say something if needed based on more than just “feelings”. My 2 cents.

Completely agree. When I meet a big deadline or finish a big project at work, it seems to springboard me into starting or finishing personal projects. I have no desire to take a break or come down from that big push to accomplish. Wish that equated to exercise.. I'm just a workaholic.

It’s almost like some people have childhood trauma where they were abused or berated for speaking up, and have learned to stuff their feelings to keep the peace.

Or maybe don’t be so sensitive? No one saying anything offensive or mean to me has ever changed my life. It isn’t that I don’t care about myself, just that their opinion is meaningless and doesn’t impact me.

But sure, if you feel you’re being negatively affected by it in any way then absolutely say something.

Exactly! This is something that I'm still learning. I think it's so important to push yourself and not be too complacent. It's amazing how much energy and motivation you can find when you just put your mind to something and really go for it. Knowing that hard work doesn't just make you tired but can actually energize you makes it so much easier to stay motivated and keep going.

What can help is to wake up at the same time of the "important day" for a day or two beforehand. This way you can confirm to yourself that you'll be able to be awake, AND you will be less tired the day of.

Sometimes you just need to leave xx

This. Life lesson.

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I just don't talk to them again but maybe that's not a good strategy.

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I'm the same way but even though I don't know why I'm upset I'll still say something akin to "wow, I didn't like that" makes it easier to bring it up again when I realize exactly why it triggered that response.

This is much, much better. It can sometimes take me a bit of time alone to figure out why something bothered me (and sometimes it's because of my own bs that has nothing to do with the other person)

I totally agree, why hold back your feelings? If someone wronged you, it's important to let them know so they can learn and grow from their mistake. Bottling up your emotions will only lead to resentment and conflict in the long run.

I totally agree with this life pro tip! Life is too short to hold grudges, so it's always best to let people know how you feel in the moment. Plus, it helps avoid any unnecessary drama and clears the air for everyone involved.

This has always ended with me screamed at or beat, I'll continue being pushed over for now because it hurts less. I tried to fix it, I really did, but I'm so tired now I can't push anymore.