Recent comments in /f/LifeProTips

IRGood t1_jd0e8r9 wrote

Reply to LPT - You do not have to commit to being a foster parent to help kids in the system by mutilatedlama

Everyone I’ve met doing foster care used it as a business and it was super sad. Just way too many kids in one spot not getting the attention they need. The weird thing was the profit was almost nothing. So it was more of an “I make nothing but look how much I am helping” type thing while not doing well by anyone. So weird. It’s like people that run animal rescues but can’t afford to take care of their own kids.

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Prestigious_Ebb_5994 t1_jd0cdie wrote

Reply to comment by mutilatedlama in LPT - You do not have to commit to being a foster parent to help kids in the system by mutilatedlama

Well said! I think it’s hard to have empathy sometimes but so necessary. People don’t choose to suffer or struggle in life, addiction is a disease. Of course it will still impact the child negatively and that is horrible but this is a structural problem in our world truly

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joeypotter531 t1_jd0bpda wrote

Reply to LPT - You do not have to commit to being a foster parent to help kids in the system by mutilatedlama

There are some mentoring programs that match volunteers with kids in or aging out of foster care. My mentee and I have been matched for 8 years and we’ve been through a lot together…several foster homes and families, court with her birth parents, issues with new schools, etc. You don’t have to know everything to be a good mentor, you just have to show up consistently with love, compassion, and patience! My mentee told me I was the first adult in her life who wasn’t being paid to be there…that is meaningful.

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Dandibear t1_jd0bkn0 wrote

Reply to LPT request: What are some healthy ways to deal with a long term relationship ending? by zoidbergstench

Let yourself feel the feelings. Grieve, cry, be angry, whatever you need to do. If all you want to do is curl up on the couch and eat plain slices of bread for a week, do that. Take a little time off work if you can and want to.

If it's upsetting to see, get rid of the other person's stuff. If you're angry, print a few pictures of them to then tear up and burn. That kind of thing.

Don't do anything permanent, like throwing into the river their family heirloom that you found under the couch. Don't rip apart your bed because you both slept there (unless you can easily afford to replace it and will find this very satisfying). Don't lash out at them or their loved ones. But privately, feel it. Let it move through you. Be sad and sulky and prone to crying fits (when you're somewhere suitable) if that feels right. And when you start to feel a little better, start shifting your life back to normal. Daydream about what you want from life, maybe things you couldn't have before, and think about ways to get there.

And be gentle with yourself all the while. This is one of the hardest experiences most people will ever have. It's really, really hard.

Best wishes to you!

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