Recent comments in /f/Showerthoughts

LincolnCassiusClay47 t1_j1zq9la wrote

Reply to Kids realize what you did for them and appreciate it once they have kids of their own. Spouses or SOs don’t realize or appreciate it until you’re gone. by Yourfaceis-23

I have a 3yo and a 1yo. Both boys. My mom was a single mom and raise me and my brother. I called her a few months back and just said “thank you”. She did so much for us and worked so hard and we never appreciated it growing up. We couldn’t appreciate it. We were selfish kids. All kids are. That’s not a failing on a kid’s part, that’s just part of growing up. You realize empathy and how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when you get older, it’s just a part of life. I’m so thankful I had my mom growing up and I’m doing everything I can to be a good dad, even though I know they won’t appreciate it until later.

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oldcretan t1_j1zm7mz wrote

Reply to comment by Ghaladh in Kids realize what you did for them and appreciate it once they have kids of their own. Spouses or SOs don’t realize or appreciate it until you’re gone. by Yourfaceis-23

I understand where your coming from in regards to the demands on parenting. It's no easy task to be a good parent and it's common to see parents who do a shit job by doing the bare minimum. Where I disagree is with the need to show gratitude. My parents never asked for gratitude from me and I will never ask it from my two kids. Being a good parent is first and foremost a duty, going above and beyond as a parent is a part of that duty. You don't get a thank you for doing your job. That being said I always give gratitude where I can because I am truly grateful for people who do things for me. I regularly remind my parents that I'm grateful for what I am and that their love, hard work, and lessons made me the person I am today. I credit them for all of my successes.

Secondly it's evolutionarily beneficial for me to do my best for my kids so they can be the best people they can be. I don't expect gratitude for something that benefits me.

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Setheran t1_j1zkrhe wrote

Reply to comment by icarusso in Kids realize what you did for them and appreciate it once they have kids of their own. Spouses or SOs don’t realize or appreciate it until you’re gone. by Yourfaceis-23

I can be thankful when my parents gave me WAAAAAAY more than what is rightfully mine. Especially when every single penny they earned was spent on my sister and I.

Yeah parents do owe us when they bring us into the world, but good parents who do more than what they should deserve to be praised, and being grateful doesn't mean I'm thankful because they gave me a roof and food, which of course I'm owed.

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