Oddly this gave me a thought on the aliens themselves. They generate intense internal heat but cannot regulate it themselves. The cold environment is what keeps them down to a proper temperature. The development of a heat gun raises the temperature at a given point and the target broils their own body as they cannot shed the heat now.

Of course the device was not designed as a weapon. It was actually intended as a medical device to assist in mating. It was supposed to be a radiator to lower the body temperature to induce mating season. But the projector managed to melt one of the onlookers for the demonstration.

As to why they would try to attack Earth when it is too warm for them. They do not want Earth, they want to colonize Europa. But humanity might protest.

I sat there, crying.

It was not a sad day, but I was still crying.

Over such a small thing, a wooden box with rough parchment. The ink initially read “From Santa” but I think some of my tears had landed on the letters and made them run.

I haven’t even opened it yet, but there was so much there. That my home wasn’t a hallucination, that the Gods of this world were not so limiting as to prevent this, that magical methods had the potential to send me home.

I wasn’t sure if I would want to go home, but the potential being there lifted a burden I did not know I was carrying. After a moment to collect my thoughts and calm down, I lifted the simple lid.

On opening the box, I saw a knife. A camp knife sturdy enough to take shavings of wood for kindling, small enough to not get on the way in towns and cities, and intricate enough that I could wear it in the presence of nobility. It was the kind of gift, one that would be appreciated for years to come.

But that wasn’t the reason it choked me up all over again. I was once again on the verge of tears because this knife, this wonderful and reliable knife told me something.

Despite having to defend myself hours after arriving here, the lies I’ve told for self preservation and my personal failings in helping others. Despite the monsters, bandits, and animals I’ve slain. Despite all that, I didn’t get coal.

Despite all that, it seemed I was still a good kid.

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Seriously, that was good.

Sans isn't Ness, he's the Pope.

No but the kids can still follow the tank crew to the white house

So, like how Father Christmas just shows up in Narnia (The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe)?

They killed kitty?

They got off lightly.

Idiot messed with my cat many years ago almost killing it.

That used to be a very nice classic muscle car he owned.

Well it used to be nice and a car.

Not so much afterwards. >:-(

What you said makes sense, though. Never should have opened my big mouth.

"I don't understand," Michael said, with the look of utter bewilderment on his face. "I thought you hated me."

"Hate you?" I laughed. "I hate a lot of things, but I don't hate you. I've actually grown quite fond of you."

Michael raised his eyebrows.

"I'm serious," I said, wrapping a blanket around him. "I'm not heartless. I just use unorthodox methods of getting what I want."

"Like stealing and destruction of property?"

"Hey, I only do that to people who can afford it," I said. "Ever wonder why none of my targets are small businesses or individual houses?"

"You know, I never realized that," Michael admitted, "but I suppose that's true."

"You see, you and I, we're not really all that different. We both want the same thing. We just have different methods of trying to get it."

"What do you mean?"

"You want to put an end to poverty, right?"

"Yeah, I do," Michael said.

"Well, so do I," I said, sitting next to him. "Your methods are just more diplomatic than I feel is realistically effective."

"How are your methods more effective than mine?" Michael raised an eyebrow.

"You always assume the best in everyone," I said. "An admirable trait, no doubt about it. It's one of the reasons I've taken a liking to you. But the truth is, all the rich CEOs don't care about the people who hold up signs and sign petitions. They are completely aware of the harm their actions are causing, and they just don't care. All they care about is money. No amount of politely asking is going to convince them to pay their workers more, improve the working conditions, or stop throwing away perfectly good products to create artificial scarcity so they can charge higher prices. They literally don't care."

Michael sat in thought.

"What I'm doing is certainly not fixing the problem," I acknowledged, "but at least what I'm doing is accomplishing something. The world may paint me as a villain, but I see myself as more of a Robin Hood type. Robbing the rich to feed the poor. Illegal, yes. But the law favors the wealthy. The wealthy get elected, the wealthy make the laws, and the wealthy can bribe whoever they need to in order to be above the laws. In order to actually fix this issue, you have to work outside the law."

"That... actually makes sense," Michael said, nodding thoughtfully. "But you must realize that the more you overtly do that, the more the media will paint them as the victims. They're making you out to be some sort of domestic terrorist.

"I know," I said. "And I don't really care. The media can sling as much mud as they want at me. I care more about actually making a difference than I do about my reputation. Besides, who do you think owns the media in the first place?"

"Touché."

"Yeah. Money is power. The more money you have, the greater power you have to sway the minds of the people."

"Well, I do have one anonymous wealthy donor that's been consistently contributing to my fundraisers," Michael said.

"Who do you think that is?" I flashed a grin.

"That was you?" Michael's eyes widened.

"Yep," I said. "Not many people would knowingly accept stolen money. But you're the only person I trust wouldn't keep 90% of donations to themselves."

"That's, I mean, wow," Michael said, shaking his head in amazement.

"Who did you expect it was? The Michaelsoft Binbows guy?"

Michael laughed.

"Anyways, I've been helping you out more than you realize," I said, putting an arm around him. "Even though you've been trying to undermine my antics since the day you started hearing about me. I knew you were only trying to stop me because your heart was just too pure to realize that there's no legal way to fix the massive inequality in this world."

"Why didn't you talk to me about this earlier?"

"You never really gave me a chance to talk," I said. "The only way I saw that I'd have been able to talk to you one on one is if I kidnapped you or something. And I didn't really want to put you through that kind of traumatic experience just for the chance to speak my mind. So I just didn't."

"I suppose that's a fair assessment," Michael said, nodding.

"I don't want to risk tarnishing your reputation by asking you to join me or anything," I said. "I don't want them raking your name through the mud with mine. But if you ever need my help again, I'd be glad to offer you my assistance from the shadows."

"I might take you up on that offer," Michael said with a smile. "And, if you ever want a place to hang out where people aren't, you know, trying to kill you, you could come over to my place. I've got lots of board games to annihilate you with."

True

I’ve been thinking about the theory that Michael Jackson faked his death

[deleted]

All the plants along your street mysteriously died one night. A few weeks after they were replaced, it happened again.

"And what is your name my boy? "My names Kevin McCallister. Are we in Europe? We don't have castles in Chicago. The last thing I remember was Marv and Harry driving their car towards me. It was a big white one, like the ones the electricians use when they fix your houses. They were trying to rob some people's houses." "Aha! A warrior felled in battle! Come, my son, we shall feast in your honor tonight!" "Do you guys have any plain cheese pizza?"

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[removed]

Kevin McAllister

This one made me smile lol.

Why green is not a primary colour

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The dinosaurs didn't go extinct, the bones are brought from the future to hide crimes like in looper

Cool, thanks.

Perfect. I probably will then.

Also, we have good taste in usernames. :)

First of all, happy cake day!

Second of all... I have no idea where to go lol