I’ve lurked here for quite a while and this is the first time I’ve been touched enough to respond: fantastic writing, my friend.

Sounds like Pan from Dragonball GT if she had magic powers

This is very wholesome! I love the idea of the not-quite-a-villain building more Magical Girls to help out the real Magical Girls.

That one hurt. It's the hell I already live in.

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The demon in front of me pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "sorry, explain it to me again why you thought this was heaven?"

I gestured a hand at our surroundings; beautiful golden sands, a perfect blue sky, the soft lapping of the sea that seemed to gently breathe in unison with a light breeze.

"All this" I explained "where are the fires of lava and the boiling cauldrons?"

"In heaven. So why would this be heaven?" He queried again sounding even more perplexed.

"No hell is meant to be that. You do bad things you get boiled in cauldrons, drowned in lava, thrown into the fiery pits of hell, it's in the name!" I was just as confused as him, it was like trying to have a conversation in another language.

"The Fiery Pit of Hell, is the best BBQ joint in the afterlife, why would you be thrown into it for being bad? Getting thrown out of it would be the punishment and no body would be foolish enough to do that! It has a permanent happy hour!"

I sighed "We are told that Hell is where bad people go? Only good people go to heaven."

"Why would the afterlife punish good people by sending them to Heaven?" He said rubbing his eyes in frustration. He took a sip of his mojito - set it back down. I paused and as I watched the glass refill itself, I tried to think of way to get this conversation back on track.

"Look" I said "the religions down there tell us that if we do bad things like murder, steal, rape we go to Hell. Where we are tortured for eternity. If we do good things like go to church/temple/mosque, pray, live by the Bible, the Quran etc we go to heaven to be rewarded."

The demon shook his head, "you are speaking nonsense. If you murder, steal, rape than you go to heaven. Where else would you face judgement? The almighty doesn't have time to commute, you go straight to them and they deal with your punishment. That's their whole deal. Obey the laws I laid down or face my wrath. How could bad people face their wrath if you don't go where they are?"

As I processed that mindfuck, he continued "what do you mean religions? And pretty much every word you said after that?"

I look at him, shocked, look around, sure somehow this is all some sort of great cosmic joke. There is nothing to interrupt my views of paradise, or interrupt my thoughts apart from the gentle trill of birdsong off in the distance. I look back him, look into his eyes and seeing genuine confusion. I go on to explain the world's religions to him.

Many many mojitos later he has taken to just rolling about with laughter. The only words I have had put of him for the last few hours have consisted of "They said what? People believe that? They do what? Why?"

The topic of sex particularly left with tears streaming down his face in laughter. "Seriously, come on your pulling my leg? Why would the almighty not want you to enjoy the bodies they created for you? They created you in their images, why would you not enjoy the blessing they gave you? How did anyone convince you all that it was wrong? Jeez you guys can't be doing it right, if you think it's a bad thing"

Then of course I have to go on and explain that it's not the act per se but the sin, the shame, the guilt. Both of which are completely foreign concepts to him.

"Oh man, someone has done a right number on you mortals, you have got some seriously big issues. It does explain a few things though..." He trails off looking into the distance.

"What?" I question

"Well" he says looking a bit embarrassed, "I only actually the new guy, your my first arrival." He sees my start at that and hurries on "It's not that I don't know what I doing, I have done the full 1000 years training, and got top scores for my year. I just didnt get why you humans all seems to go a bit crazy for a bit when you first get here. But it kind of makes sense now."

"Didn't they tell you any of this?" I ask

He shakes his head and shugs, "I would never had believed it if they had. Not sure I do now, hearing it straight from the horse's mouth, it's a lot to take in."

"Tell me about it!" I say "My whole world, no universe view just got totally blown apart."

He looks sheepish, "Yeah I guess it's worse for you. But come on sounds like it was all for the best really."

He stands up and gestures me to follow, "come on you have the whole of eternity to process that shit. What do you want to do first?"

I smile, "The Fiery Pits of Hell?"

Please excuse any typos etc on phone, dyslexic and it's late! Hope it makes sense too tire to proof read!

the memory bit at the end reminds me of one of the Mary Poppin stories! XD (The book is a collection of stories & so so weird iirc)

When the Miku is sus

I loved this response, fantastic writing.

Holy shit dude, that was very well written and eloquent. Very well done

I imagine this man never wanted much out of life other than to just be comfortable with a modest lifestyle and to be kind to others. Following his parents teachings and that of the church perhaps failed to properly prepare him for the troubles and cruelty he found later in life. Feeling betrayed he allowed himself to commit unsavory acts to survive, eventually falling into a life of petty crime just to survive. This lead to hell which was far better than the life he lived before ending in the streets beaten to death.

I like this story.

God: Sorry about that I thought I already got rid of him.

Wasn't there a prompt a while ago that was pretty much exactly this scenario, but instead of a magical girl, it was a little girl with superpowers? (Which is almost the same thing)

I did not wake. I just was. A moment before I was not, then I was. In this body, useless and weak, uncoordinated, with eyes that refused to focus. In horror, I screamed. I screamed and I screamed while unseen hands grabbed at me, manipulated me, wrapped me in cloth and passed me among themselves. I screamed until I felt the familiar warmth of skin on skin, and then I passed out from exhaustion.

Later, I woke in an unfamiliar place, still relatively blind. I could feel the soft comfort of bedding around me, smell the unfamiliar scent of a strangers home. I assumed it was night because it was dark except for a few diffused sources of light from which I couldn’t identify the source. But the light was important because it allowed me to make out the silhouette standing at my side. Tall, slender, dark, and wearing a wide brimmed hat. I tried to speak but my words were gibberish, robbed of all meaning. But the form spoke in response just the same.

“You’re alive,” it said. I tried to speak again only to be stopped by it’s calm, reassuring voice. “No, no. Don’t bother. We don’t need words to speak. Not yet. You are alive, again. I’ll put this as simply as possible. You were, you died, and who you were has died. Now you are alive again. I am here to acclimate you to this fact and you will likely not see me again for the rest of this life.”

It continued. “In some time, as you regain your speech, you will lose this memory. But your soul will always remember. When you died, you did so incomplete. You failed to complete your development and so have been denied entry into Paradise.”

I attempted to speak again, gurgling and babbling incoherent nonsense but the form responded as if it understood. “It is not for me to know why. I am only the ferryman and the passer on of the truths you must know. Do not attempt to speak again, as your words have been babbled because you are cursed not to be able to share this truth with others throughout your life. Only your soul will retain it, as has been deemed good.”

I looked at the shape in stunned silence, fists full of cotton in anxious anticipation.

“Because you have been found unworthy of Paradise, you have been returned to hell, beyond god’s presence.”

‘Hell?’ I thought. How can this be? As frightening and confusing as the past day has been, it has certainly not been hell. I’ve felt nothing but gentle hands and warm skin. Heard nothing but gentle voices speaking love and wonder.

“Yes. Hell is all places without the presence of God. You have been reincarnated back on Earth, God’s creation, which so offended him with the works of Angels and Man he abandoned it to return to the sanctuary of Heaven. You’ve been returned here, to this physical place to have another chance to redeem yourself.”

‘No,’ I thought. ‘No, I’ve lived well.’ Memories of my previous life began flooding back as I pulled them from the ether. I searched them, frantically, looking for the great sun I’d committed. I could think of none I hadn’t spent decades regretting, and repenting.

The figure seemed to know this and spoke again. “You did live well, but you lived falsely. Your sin was not of murder or theft of gluttony. Your sin is that you lied to yourself and others throughout the entirety of your life in order to please them. God made you as you were, and you rejected yourself. That is the first truth your soul must know.”

Immediately I knew this to be true and was overcome with a deep and heavy sadness that seemed to pull me into my bed. I had no words, no thoughts in disagreement. I knew this to be true and it pained me.

The thing in the hat sighed heavily, as if informing me was equally as painful for them. It gathered itself and spoke again while I lay there in the darkest depression.

“The second truth is equally as important. You must know that you chose this. When you died you were given a choice, to return to Earth and try again or to abandon your ego and individuality to the source, where you would be unmade and remade anew. You chose this and everything that comes with it. Your free will has never been compromised and it never will, so what I say next is merely a suggestion from one fallen soul to another. Do not blame God for your life. Do not blame your fellow man for their lives. If you ever want to escape this cycle, there is only one path. You must trust in God, who made you. This body may be new, but your soul is as it always has been. All you need to do is trust God and be Yourself.”

Those words echoed in my ears as the shadow at the foot of the bed dissipated like smoke in the wind. Stunned, I attempted to regain my grounding, noticed I was still grinning the sheets around me, noticed I had stopped breathing for a moment and drew breath, deep and long. I felt my lungs expand and my chest rise. I kicked my legs and moved my tongue around my mouth, feeling the toothless gums there, their slick wetness. With the shock wearing off I began to recognize the importance of what I’d heard and started chanting to myself in my mind, ‘Don’t forget this. Be Yourself. You must remember to be Yourself,’ over and over again until I fell asleep.

I woke to dim daylight flooding through two squares to my left that must be windows. I stretched my fresh body and felt relaxed and content for the briefest of moments. Then memories, faded and fleeting, of the previous night brushed against my consciousness, ephemeral and impossible to hold on to like a dream. ‘No, no. I can’t forget! What was it? It was important, of most importance but what was it? No!’ Eventually I stopped clawing at my memory, recognizing the futility. ‘It’s gone,’ I thought. ‘It’s gone.’

Unaware of what I’d lost but aware that I had lost something invaluable, I screamed and I screamed. I cried as hard as I could, warm tears running down my face, salting my tongue. My bowels released and I felt the warmth of fresh urine bathing my groin. I screamed and cried with a sense of unimaginable loss until I felt myself gripped by strong hands. I was lifted up, soft words were spoken but I couldn’t understand them pst my wailing. I was placed on a shoulder, felt the structure of the clavicle under warm skin, and a hand was gently caressing my back. Slowly, my crying decreased to whimpers and a soft voice spoke into my ear, audible this time. “I love you.”

The irony that this version of Hell is better than anything the MC ever actually had

Goddamn. This one hits different, well done.

"Been a long, long time little girl." Hissed the forked tongue. "Started to think you forgot about me. Started to forget about myself to be honessst with you. Got yourssself into trouble again, huh? You alwayssss were a handful. I like the ssssscratchessss on the wallssss, givesss thisss place sssome persssonality. Guessssing that'ssss why you're wearing that cute jacket.

Alwaysss knew you'd come sssslithering back to me, like the weakling you are. Look at you, ssstill just a ssssscared little girl, trying to act like a grown up. Pathetic. Can't bring yourssself to do it without my asssissssstance? The drugssss make you forget already? We've busssted out of worssse places.

Oh.....isssss that your nursssse? Sssshe looksssss juicy. Jusssst remember what I taught you.....let them come to you firsssst......then ssstrike. Hope your teeth are sssstill sssssharp."

Really nice setup to a bigger story

It's all about the thoughts of the people. All about their jealousy, their awe, that feeling that knows they're impressed by you, that people like you...and when you read minds, everyone likes you. Once you know what people want, you serve a purpose and are the life of the party.

I guess it was what led me to chess. Quiz games are too boring- when you're in a group of friends, most will know the answer. There's a reason poll the audience is usually one of the most surefire answers on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire (which I fucked around and won as a lark once.) Real sports are too hard- sure, I know what pitch the pitcher's throwing each time, but I still have to hit it. But chess? It's a war game, and as it was said, "Know your enemy and know yourself, and you need not fear a hundred battles."

So I played. And won.

And kept winning.

And kept winning. Soon, my friends said I was good at chess. They suggested I go to chess clubs.

And kept winning. Soon, local tournaments. And kept winning. And regional tournaments, and national tournaments, and now I stand here as the newest grandmaster.

I never really got the hang of the rules. Just read the other person's mind for what they plan to do next, what they're most afraid I'll do, and do it.

Finally, they offered me a big game against IBM's newest supercomputer. A big prize offer, a big deal...and with how many do it before, you can't NOT do it.

Shit. It's a bot. I hem, I haw, but the money's too good. The match is set.

I go into the room. The supercomputer is there, close to having broken chess, and I play it.

This is it. The moment of truth.

And then...the audience was in shock.

I CRUSHED the bot. Absolutely destroyed it. The first big win for a human against a supercomputer in decades. It was all over the news. The chess grandmaster who saved chess for humanity. AI fans were inconsolable, in shock. The programmers were apoplectic- they thought it was impossible I could win against a bot, but wipe the floor with the bot so badly that even reprogramming the AI would be hopeless; the whole supercomputer's chess mind was hopelessly broken. I felt bad for them as I heard their thoughts- they were some of IBM's best programmers, and I just ended their careers in an instant.

I have to feel for the people on the project. They did so much to help me.

After all, I may not be able to read the mind of a supercomputer, but I can damn sure read the minds of the people who programmed it and find out how to hack the program, can't I?

[removed]

##The First Kiss

Brenda stomps across the turf with her trumpet. She’s one of many horns in the field, but she knows someone in the crowd is looking at her. Their performance is mediocre. A few students are lazy and barely making noise, and a few are aggressively declaring their space in the spotlight. The band director is shaking his head at the mess while the audience spaces out.

After halftime, Brenda runs to the bandroom to get into her normal clothes and drop off her instrument. A few people try to speak to her, but she brushes past them. Jeremy is waiting for her in the parking lot by his car wearing a thin coat and a . He opens the passenger door for her.

“So where would you like to go?” Jeremy asks.

“Let me think.” Brenda puts her finger to chin and ‘hmms’ loudly. “We should go to Hawaii. I want to experience the tropical island paradise.”

“The movie theater doesn’t pay me well enough for a plane ticket.”

“That’s a shame. I can’t be with a man who can’t enjoy the finer things in life,” Brenda giggles, “But I don’t know. Why don’t you decide. You’re the one with the driver’s license.”

“Alright, let’s go mini golfing,” Jeremy says.

“Wow, the theater really isn’t paying you well.”

“Life could be so easy if every teenager got a six figure salary at their first job.” Jeremy drives to Henry’s Bowling and Golf.

The clerk is bored and more focused on his phone. He hands Brenda the child sized club three times before grabbing the right one. Brenda takes the purple golf ball while Jermey chooses the red one. They proceed through the course bantering. Jeremy’s skill level is quite dreadful; he manages to reach the five point cap on every hole. Brenda scores two above par.

“That was awful.” Jeremy says as they leave.

“It was. You now have to wear the hat of shame.” She grabs a novelty hat from the gift shop and puts it on his head.

“You grab it. You buy it,” the clerk says. Brenda puts five dollars on the table. “Thank you.”

The two walk back to Jeremy’s car. Brenda looks at her watch and sees she has to be home in thirty minutes. Too soon to do anything, but too far to make the night feel worthwhile. Jeremy drives to her subdivision and stops under a streetlight.

“What’s going on?” Brenda asks.

“How often do you think about your future?” Jeremy replies.

“Unfortunately all the time with exams coming up. I try to focus on the immediate future. Like how I’ll probably be sitting on my desk because Mrs. Grant is weird,” she says.

“I think about my future a lot and your role in it.” He looks at her, and the streetlight illuminates his green eyes.

“Oh.” Brenda stutters. “I’ve thought about you a lot, but I don’t know if that’s just the standard for teenage romances.”

“I wouldn’t know. Never had one before.”

“Neither have I,” Brenda replies. Jeremy leans towards her.

“I think I know what I’m supposed to do during this part,” he says. Brenda moves towards him as well. Their lips meet over the gear shift, and the kiss is quite awkward. Jeremy wraps his hands around Brenda, but he accidentally pulls at her hair. Brenda bites her tongue and interrupts the kiss. Neither have figured out how to breathe while kissing and end up blowing on each other’s cheeks. When the kiss ends, they pull away and smile at each other.

“Thank you. I hope I get better at kissing,” Jeremy says.

“We both will. It just takes more practice. The first time is always a bit weird,” Brenda shrugs, “At least, that’s what my sister told me.”

“You asked your sister about this.” Jeremy starts the car and drives closer to Brenda’s address.

“Of course, I lied earlier. I have been thinking about us a lot and had to check with her to make sure it was normal,” she says.

“That’s good. I’ve asked my older brother for advice too.” He stops in front of her house. The porch light is already on. “See you tomorrow.”

“Sure.” Brenda opens her door but stays in the car. “Can I have my first kiss good night?”

“Absolutely.” They kiss one more time. Brenda walks away from his car practically skipping, and Jeremy drives away with a smile on his face.

r/AstroRideWrites

[removed]

After she left, I, just didn't have it in me to continue fighting. I didn't send my minions after her, not that it would have done much good. My Lieutenant asked for orders and, I just couldn't find what I actually wanted done next. I left my throne room, and went to bed.

The next morning I was greeted by my annoyingly loyal Lieutenant again, "Sir, shall I take a group of our elite mega soldiers to capture those meddling heroes?" And, I looked at him for a moment and replied, "Deathjaw, why are we doing this?"

He looked quite taken aback, it took a moment for him to come up with a reply. "Sir, your great goal of galactic domination of course. We with to aid in conquering these foolish planets and enstating the Murder-Violence Empire. Its for your great dream." I nodded as he spoke and looked at him with a realization, thunked into me by the Hopelight Staff that interloper held. "I'm not sure I want that anymore Lieutanant." And my loyal to a fault Lieutenant Deathjaw realized that we both no longer had a purpose.

"What the hell is happening?" commander Duncan asked the first officer as soon as he walked into the command and control center of the ship. 

"God knows, sir," first officer responded, "eggheads in the back are already working on it. Go see them for more answers."

Santa Maria was a technological marvel of its time. This five kilometers long metal colossus traveling at half the speed of light carried thousands of colonists to their new home, planet Hope in Trappist system. It was the fastest object ever constructed by humans, and yet the journey was about to last for roughly 50 years. Those who boarded the ship in Armstrong Lunar shipyard will be old when it arrives to it's destination, and those who will be born on the ship will be the ones to kick start first human colony on another world. Duncan knew that it's his sacred task to steer his ship safely to its destination, and this weird gravimetric anomaly that appeared next to the ship isn't going to stop him.

"Do you have any idea what are we dealing with?", commander asked the scientific officer sitting behind his desk after he walked to the back of the command and control room, "Come on, give me something!"

"Seems to be some kind of… rupture in space?" scientific officer explained confusedly while looking at his computer monitor, "it seems to bend light in strange ways, that's why it looks like a disco ball. It seems to emit gravity, but the gravity isn't technically strong enough to bend light in the way we see."

Commander sighted and looked over his shoulder at the monitor: "It's just 500 kilometers away from us, could it possibly be caused by any of our ship's systems?"

"Hard to tell," the scientific officer replied while taking down his glasses and wiping sweat from his forehead, "first, we will have to find out what the hell are we even looking at. I will gather my team and send a tight beam to Earth with the info we gathered so far…"

He was stopped by a loud beeping suddenly flooding the room from the main speakers.

"Report!" commander screamed towards the first officer as he ran towards the main navigational console.

"We have radar contact emerging from the anomaly," first officer reported from his console, "both radar and LIDAR systems report it as… ship! There is a ship emerging from the anomaly, length approximately 300 meters, distance 450 kilometers and closing at rate 250 meters per second."

"Any ID?" commander asked swiftly.

"No ID, no transponder signal, unknown configuration," the first officer reported, "I have never seen anything like that… I suggest engaging first contact protocol."

Whole room went silent, looking at the first officer in shock. First contact protocol was never engaged by any ship in the whole history of spaceflight. 

Commander nodded and turned towards the communication officer: "Compress all data into a single file and send it to Earth with a tight beam, then send standard greeting messages on all AM, FM and microwave frequencies…"

"Sir," the communication officer stopped him, "we… we have a comm request on standard UNSA emergency frequency." 

"Open the channel on speakers," the commander ordered and sat down on his chair in the middle of the room.

What followed was silence, interrupted by static. And then voice.

"... hello? Can you hear me?," unknown voice spoke in clear English.

"Yes, we can hear you," commander responded, "I am commander Martin Duncan of UNSA Santa Maria, please, identify yourself!"

"Nice to hear you, commander," voice responded, "I am capitan Jim Patel, UNSA Explorer class ship Galileo. I hope our FTL drive didn't scare you."

"FTL drive?" commander stood up in shock, "we have been gone from Earth for what, 10 years? And you already cracked faster than light travel by then?" 

"No we didn't. You did," voice answered calmly.

Commander looked at his scientific officer, both silently asking "what?" under their breath.

"Or, rather, you will," voice continued, "you say you were gone for 10 years, I say it was 40 years. Relativity is a strange thing. And turns out, faster than light travel only complicates it all. We noticed it during first tests. One time, experimental ship arrived back to Earth even sooner than it actually left! We have to throw away all our concepts of time, and deal with the fact that things can be caused by something that didn't even happened yet. From my perspective, scientists on your ship cracked FTL technology many years ago, and sent it back to Earth with a tight beam. We continued from there, and eventually applied the technology in practice."

"This is unbelievable…" commander almost lost his words, "so what will happen now? Will we board your ship and you will drive us to Trappist? Or will you tow us?"

"No, we cannot do that," capitain Patel explained, "you have to continue on your journey. You have to invent FTL drive and send it to Earth, exactly as it already happened. We have no idea how causality works now, and we have to be careful not to cause any paradoxes. We are still learning how to use this technology. You have your path, and I have mine. We just wanted to let you know that… it will turn out great. By the way, Trappist system is already colonized, when you arrive, colony of thousands of people will greet you, just so you know. Good bye, and Godspeed."

"Wait…" commander screamed, but communication channel closed down. 

Galileo fired it's breaking thrusters, turned around and entered the anomaly it came from. The anomaly closed right after that, as fast as it appeared.

Commander Duncan sat down and blankly stared into the wall. Scientific officer uploaded data from the computer into his tablet and walked to him, still looking at the data.

"Do you have any idea what the hell just happened?" commander asked him.

"No, but this data we collected from that anomaly… it actually explains a lot I missed in my theoretical FTL drive research I was working on before we left Earth," he mumbled while swiping pages on his tablet.

Commander turned to him: "So you are telling me you can actually do it? You can crack FTL technology?"

"I don't know yet… but most probably… yeah, yes, I will," he answered looking at commander, smiling, "but I would have never been able to do it if the anomaly never showed up in the first place."