This is just me playing Stellaris, except I'm the one making protectorates.

Fe < Fey

Ty

Cool.

Nice story.

I knocked on the door to the meeting hall and tried to steel my nerves. As I practiced my deep breathing, the door opened up to reveal Heracles, his ten foot frame filling up the doorway. He looked down at me and asked, "Can I help you?"

I gulped and answered, "Yes, hi, my name is Vanyael, and I'm here about the Christian god's application?"

Heracles opened up the door all the way and replied, "Come on in. You can leave your coat in the closet."

I thanked Heracles and dropped off my jacket as quickly as I could before heading down to the main table. The Norse pantheon was hosting this time, so the hall took the form of an elaborate ski lodge. As I grabbed a cookie off of a tray Ganymede was carrying, Heracles followed behind me and remarked, "They've been arguing for hours about this guy. Hopefully you can put an end to this."

"Believe me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't intend to."

Surrounding a table full of nectar, mead, and red wine were the gods and goddesses of the three pantheons, chattering away the day. With a loud whistle, Heracles pulled their attention over to the two of us. Once the talking died down, I waved awkwardly at the group. "H--hello, I'm Vanyael, please call me Vanya. And, uh, I am an archangel."

Athena let out a sigh of exasperation. "Great, just what we needed: someone to vouch for this God."

I chuckled nervously. "Could I perhaps see the application God sent in?"

Athena handed it over to me. I looked it over briefly before sticking the paper into one of the wall torches. As I dropped the paper to let it burn, Loki threw up his hands and yelled, "What, so she gets to burn things?!"

I bowed to the gods apologetically. "I'm so sorry that paper got as far as it did. We're still looking into how God managed to get his hands on the application."

Sobek raised his hand and asked, "What exactly is going on here? Did I miss something?"

"No, no you didn't, Mr. Sobek. So, what's going on is, God doesn't actually have any real authority in the celestial bureaucracy. We saw to that after the incident with Ayla and Eve."

Frey looked over at me in confusion. "You mean Adam and Eve?"

I shook my head. "Not after their excursion with the fruit of knowledge."

Over in the corner, Bastet and her wife Iris let out a long, "Awwwwwwww!"

"Yeah, uh, we thought the threat of banishment from Eden was just a secret test from God, but no, he was serious about it. Once we realized we were working for someone who'd kick his first creations out for not doing exactly as he said, we teamed up with the demons to overthrow him. It took us like a year at most, and God's mind kinda just...broke afterwards. Nowadays he just sits on this one single cloud in Heaven, playing with sticks and living under the delusion he's the master of the universe or whatever."

Thoth looked up from the notepad he was scribbling in to ask, "So there's no higher power in charge of Christianity?"

"We prefer the term gnosticism, and no. The celestial bureaucracy is purely democratic. It's not even divided between good and evil, it's more like Heaven is the countryside and Hell is the city. My wife and I actually run a bakery in Hell, it's very nice."

As he poured himself another drink, Dionysus piped up, "Do you cater?"

I gave him a thumbs up and replied, "I will get you a business card, buddy! Anyway, this was all one big mix-up, and we're deeply sorry."

Odin raised a flagon of mead. "No need to worry, young lady! Now come and grab a drink so we can discuss having you and yours join the council properly!"

I shrugged. "As long as I can get another one of these cookies, I'm in!"

I changed it to Aphrodite. Makes more sense that he'd flirt with her, anyways.

Adding a backstory for the mighty wizard is such a nice touch and the ending warmed my heart. Thanks for checking out my prompt!

"Fuckkkkkk," I said as a woman ran across my path. She was dressed in fine garments and wore one of those stupid pointy fucking hats with ribbon coming off of it.

"Oh, daring hero, can you help me?" she asked as she flung herself at me. "I'm being chased by one of the Emperor's hunting parties. They'll be following quickly. Surely a hero of your stature can save me."

I peeled her hand off my shoulder, turned her around, and gave her a light push.

"Nope, keep running. I'm sure you'll find somebody."

"But hero, it must be you! They will be upon me before I find anyone else!"

"Not a hero," I said as I pushed past her. "You better get to running instead of talking. People might think you want to be found."

I wasn't playing this shit anymore. That was the third princess this fucking week. I didn't have time for this shit. Ever since that witch unlocked my memories from a past life, I've been so over this. I thought it would bring me great power and knowledge. All it did was make me sick of this shit.

Six times. Six! Who gets reincarnated as the same fucking guy six times? Sure, I was good at it. It had worked out in my previous five lives. But now that I had the memories of all of those lives, I wanted to be something different. Do something different. I was going to be a llama breeder.

But first, I needed to find a llama. Well, two llamas, actually. A male and a female. Then I had to find a place to raise my llamas. The problem was I had no skills. My entire life, I had been raised to be a chivalrous knight. I was trained in the way of martial combat, I was the best in the land with a sword, and I was able to talk my way into anywhere. But now, all of that was useless. Nobody cared if a llama breeder could use a sword. Only if he could breed llamas.

I had heard of the great llamas out east. They were gallant and fluffy, and some said they could even carry a fully-grown man on their back. I was on my way east to find two such llamas and procure them. I had thought about entering combat tournaments, but then I might fuck around and get roped into saving a princess or something. No, I had to make this work without using any of my knight training.

"Maybe I'll work at a bar," I said as I continued down the road.

"Sir, please!" the princess cried out. I let out a sigh. Fuck.

"Is there a reward for this?" I asked as I turned to her.

"Of course, sir, my father will pay you anything for my safe return."

"And just so we're clear, there is no fucking legend or prophecy about a great hero in your kingdom, right?"

"Well, legend tells tale of a brave knight who - "

"Nope, not interested." I turned back around and began down the road again.

"Fine, no prophecies! Just save me this one time. One time thing. We'll pay you, and you can be on your way to wherever you're going." I let out another sigh.

I drew my sword as a pack of three men on horseback came riding onto the road from the forest.

"Does your family have any llamas?" I asked as they approached rapidly. There better be fucking llamas for this shit.

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Let me know any feedback or criticism, I'm still working on my writing overall. <3

I mean truly, he can’t be all that chill. Every piece of art he features in shows him either cutting the devil and stomping on his neck or pointing a sword at people. Not to mention the whole fiery sword at the gate of Eden thing. Or the thirty thousand men he slew in a single night in I think Babylon or something.

He is the angriest of bois.

I didn’t know that about Athena. I knew Artemis wasn’t about that life, but TIL. Thanks!

“curiosity killed the cat and I’ll be next, i promise that!”

Lucifer walking in, flirting with Athena, saying mean things about his dad, and then goes drinking with Odin. That sounds like a plot for a Supernatural TV episode lol.

It was all super good and engaging! My only complaint is the flirting with Athena part. Form my understanding, she never was the one to be easily flustered by men.

"Your sibling will one day rule the US. He will be a very influential politician and he will enact a lot of policies making him one of the most popular presidents in the history of America."

I rolled my eyes. Max was five years old. I doubted that he could tell the difference between left and right much less become the president of the greatest country in the world.

"Well that's all really nice about my brother. Let's get back to my life. You said that it would be a boring life. "

The fortune teller nodded. She was an old women with a wrinkly appearance who was staring at the crystal ball in front of her.

"What do you mean by boring ?"

The fortune teller looked at me a bit confused, looking away from the ball. "What do I mean by boring ? Well you'll have a wife, live in a house and work in a job you don't particularly like till you're dead. "

"So I will get married in the future ? And I'll get a house. "

"Well, yes. You will. "

"A wife and a house isn't too boring now is it ?"

"Lots of people have wives and houses " she argued. "Only a few become presidents. "

"Yes, yes. But just because lots of people have a thing, does that make the thing boring ? And anyways, I won't have the same wife as other people. I won't have the same house as other people. Both of them are unique. "

"Well, yes. In a certain sense. " the fortune teller conceded. "But it's boring compared to being the president"

"Well I find it in poor taste that you would call my wife boring"

"You haven't even met her yet"

"Well I wouldn't marry someone who isn't boring."

"Well no, she isn't boring in a sense." The fortune teller said, "but when compared to being the president... "

"My wife cannot be compared to anyone. She's incomparable"

"Like I said, you haven't even met her yet."

"Well when I meet her, I'll know she's incomparable. And i'll be happy with her. And we can have fun together. I'd love to play chess with her and go on trips together. Will that happen ?"

"Yes, those things will happen"

"Then that doesn't make my life boring does it ? If it makes me happy, who cares if other people find it boring.Thanks a lot for this. Here's your fee. "

And with that I left the fortune tellers shop, feeling really pleased with how my life would turn out to be while leaving a rather stunned fortune teller behind.

"So, what are we doing here? Really?" Zeus asked the group around the table.

"I believe we were about to say who gives a damn and drink!" Thor thundered from beside his father.

"Hear, hear!" Dionysus said as he took a sip from his goblet. Someone was already pre-gaming.

"I'm just going to go home and get ready for my nightly bout with Apophis. Bastard won't give up after all these years," Ra said lazily.

As Zeus went to slam his gavel on the table, the doors to the conference room burst open. In walked a winged man, equal parts beautiful and terrifying. His wingspan was easily the length of three cars. His left wing was black as night, while his right wing was white as snow.

"Hello, friends. I'm sorry I'm late," the winged man said.

"And who the fuck are you?" Odin said as he stood with a start.

"My given name is Samael, though I prefer the name Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar. Humans have taken to calling me that over the years, and it feels quite nice."

"Lucifer! What business have you here!?" Zeus bellowed from the head of the table.

"I've heard we're giving my father a performance review. I've come to weigh in."

"Your father?" Odin asked cautiously.

"Yes. I know you're all gods, but he goes by just God. Yahweh, some call him. Allah, others call him. Some lunatics think a man named Jesus was his embodiment, the poor saps. I just know him as dear old dad. And I'm one of his creations, an archangel. Well, I was an archangel. It's debatable as to if I still am or not." The angel conjured a chair at the end opposite Zeus and sat.

"Lucifer... why does that name sound so familiar?" Ares pondered aloud. The god of war got a furrowed look on his brow before he snapped his fingers and pointed. "You're Satan! The Lord of Christian Hell!"

"Don't limit me so much. I'm the Lord of Hell. Period. If a soul dies, it comes to me if it doesn't belong to one of you lot. Which judging by business over the last several thousand years, most souls come to me."

"They used to come to me," said Hades in a morose tone.

"Don't be so down on yourself! A lot of my inspiration comes from you!" Lucifer exclaimed.

"Really?" Hades said as he brightened up a tad.

"No, I think I might actually predate your popularity a little. Again, it's debatable. I was just trying to be nice." Hades pouted.

"What brings you here, Lucifer Morningstar?" Zeus asked as he lowered his gavel back down on the table and resumed his seat.

"To talk about dear old dad, of course! What do you want to know about the old fucker? I just heard we were discussing him and had to come, but ask me any questions. I'm an open book."

"We were meeting to decide whether or not to invite him into our joint pantheon. But to do that, we must know his true intentions first. Is he truly good as he says he is?" Zeus asked.

"Is my dad truly good? Let me ask you something, is anyone you know that is willing to flood the entire planet outside of a single ship a good person? I mean, that's happened multiple times throughout history. Were any of those gods truly good?" Lucifer leaned back with a laugh. "I don't think so."

"Did you know that my father once killed forty-two boys with two bears?" Lucifer asked. "Just two. Had them maul all the kids to death."

"He sentenced children to death?" Odin cried. "That is not the sign of a just god."

"He ordered one of his main boys, Abraham, to kill his own children. And the psycho almost did it! That's the kind of loyalty my father inspires. Or is it fear? I don't know, honestly. I've never understood the devout loyalty to the old man."

"He would have family turn on family?" Poseidon asked.

"As if your kind has had any problem with that," spat Isis.

"This is not a trial of my family, witch," hissed Poseidon.

"Hey, hey, everybody," Lucifer said in a calming tone. "Let's all just calm down. We don't want to turn on each other, right? We're just talking about my dad. Who else wants to hear a story? Oh, did you know he once killed the firstborn of every single family in Egypt? Think about all the babies. Their lives just," he made a snap with his fingers, "gone. In an instant. Well, not in an instant. He made it a slow affair. Dad always had a flair for the dramatic."

"Why are you telling us all of these things, winged angel?" Thor asked. "I would never turn on Odin."

"Nor I on Zeus," said Aphrodite, who had been uncharacteristically quiet up until this point.

"Are you Aphrodite? Oh, love. I'd love to get to know you more intimately." Aphrodite blushed, but Lucifer carried on. "Were you expecting me to come in here and sing my father's praises? No, my dad's a fucking dick. I'm here to cement your idea about not letting him join. It is quite possible that he's more powerful than you all, though."

"Impossible," said Zeus.

"None are more powerful than me," said Ra.

"I am the All-father!" yelled Odin.

"And I am Lucifer Morningstar," the angel said in a threatening tone. He stood up and flapped his wings, and the lights flickered. His eyes glowed white as he said, "And I challenge any of you to step up to me."

All three of the gods who had previously spoken up tried to stand but couldn't. They were stuck. Their leg muscles simply weren't responding to them. Their arms all went limp beside them. They went to speak, but their mouths disappeared from their faces. They were limp, silent bodies. The other gods looked on in horror as they stared back at Lucifer.

"See?" he said calmly as he sat back down in his chair. The gods' mouths returned, and their arms seemed to work again. Odin and Zeus both stood up to check that their legs now worked. Ra just looked at Lucifer cautiously. He examined him and took him all in. He knew something wasn't right about the angel, but he couldn't place his finger on what.

"You dare challenge me!" Zeus proclaimed, summoning a lightning bolt to his hand.

"Sit, Zeus," Ra said calmly.

"Who are you to tell me what to do!?" Zeus bellowed.

"I say this as your friend, Zeus. Sit. That was merely a fraction of Lucifer's power. Am I correct, Lucifer?" Lucifer smiled.

"You are correct, Ra. But don't feel bad, gents. Many would say I'm more powerful than even my father. He simply created me with a flaw that only he can exploit. Old bastard that he is, he did have foresight. But I do believe him to be more powerful than you lot, so I would tread carefully. Don't label him negatively. Just don't label him at all. Leave him be, and he will leave you be. He's worshipped and adored by billions. As long as you don't make a slight against him, he has no reason to turn his ire toward you."

"How did you become so powerful?" Zeus asked as he dismissed the lightning bolt and collapsed in his seat.

"We scale off of how many people believe in us, you see. Four thousand years ago, we were weaker than everyone at this table. But now? Now we're among the most powerful beings in the cosmos."

"Huh. Who'd have thunk of that?"

"It was quite a brilliant design by whoever made my dad. And I assume all of you, as well. We all had to come from somewhere, right?" There was a murmur of agreement around the table. "Now, before I came in, I heard someone say something about drinks. I love a good mead, and I've heard Asgardian Mead is unbelievable. Shall we go back to your place, Odin?"

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Please let me know what you think, any feedback or criticism is much appreciated! <3

&gt;He then shifted his finger to Ares and said “ I will do to you what I did to the betrayer with MY FOOT ON YOUR NECK, LANCE THROUGH YOUR DAMN SPINE PANSY!”

Michael needs to be sent in for anger management training XD

"Toodles"

That part killed me, idk why, but it did

Thanks man!

&gt;(Creative juices kinda ran out, also busy at work, so thats all i got)

Haha this was an entertaining read nevertheless!

On your sixth new game plus, would you really want an item that buffs your mana by a couple hundred?

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

Duality: Harmony

Part 3

The two girls moved from one setting to the next as realities bled into one another. Where places had once been compartmentalized, they formed a Frankenstein construction where settings became rooms that adjoined distant places.

Harmony’s finger tapped incessantly against her bicep as she stood with her arms crossed. She replayed thoughts of Grace’s feigned ignorance as they both listened to the sound of Daniel’s assigned ringtone filtering in through a hole in the wall.

Grace bent over and looked through as the two stood in a darkened tunnel. The ambiance beyond was tinted fall’s orange and spilled onto Grace’s green iris. “It’s just some girl on a swing,” Grace said.

Harmony’s finger stopped. The repeated act had been misqueming, but this last remark was a crescendo. “Just some random girl?” she asked.

“Yep,” Grace replied. “She’s on a hilltop swing. And the sun is setting.”

Harmony raised her fists, then slammed them down to her sides as she thrust her foot forward, her kick driving into the back of Grace, whose face parted the wall like a breakaway banner.

With pinwheeling arms and a tumbling form, Grace boldly declared that she wasn’t named after falling. She careened across the grass, rolled to a stop, then pointed her aggrieved expression in the wrong direction. Her scowl evaporated when she turned and found Harmony stomping towards her.

“Just a random girl?” Harmony asked, her fist shaking at her sides. “Wearing your painted sweatshirt and leggings? Holding a phone that your fiancée is calling? Just a random girl?”

Grace raised her forearm as a guard from attacks and a barrier to keep their eyes from meeting.

The wordless space filled with the sound of Harmony’s flaring nostrils and the ringing phone held by a girl in the nearby tree-swing. Orange and yellow leaves broke away from the branches and tumbled past as Harmony’s eyes attempted to set Grace on fire.

“I’m sorry,” Grace managed. “I just---I don’t know what you want.”

Harmony raised her clinched fist, then snapped it out in a gesture to the swing. “How long are you going to keep pretending this elephant doesn’t exist? Damn you, Grace! Not looking doesn’t make it go away. It doesn’t stop. It never stops.”

Grace’s gaze started a cold war, her fear shifting into resistance as she locked eyes with Harmony. It had to come to an end though, and they both knew it. Grief seeped in when her resistance cracked.

She turned to the swing, then became the girl looking at her phone. Her reflection fled as the phone lit and rang anew. The caller ID displayed an image of Daniel hugging Grace where their smiles shone brightly.

“Hey, Danny,” she greeted, sorrow in her voice.

Harmony exhaled. I know it sucks, but you can’t grow while avoiding this. Her shoulders sagged as she moved and sat on the opposite side of the tree. She looked to the sunset and listened while the call ran its course.

“What’s got you so upset?” Daniel asked.

“It’s nothing,” Grace sobbed. “I don’t want you worried.”

“And you crying without explanation isn’t a cause for worry? Tell me what happened. I won’t let it distract me.”

“You promise?” Grace asked.

“I promise,” he replied.

“I had some tests done. They told me. They said... it’s in my stomach and progressed too far.”

“What has?”

“...cancer.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Daniel.”

“You lose me?”

“Yeah... what will happen to us?”

You know I’m no good at these things. But I think I’ll be on the right.”

“What?”

“The groom. Aren’t we on the right?”

“But didn’t you hear what I said?”

“Yes? But unless it means we switch sides, those things aren’t related.”

She sobs. “Why are you like this?”

“Again, I’m not the best here, but I think it goes ‘in sickness and in health.’”

“But that doesn’t count yet.”

“Sure it does. We’re just in the Grace-period.”

“...”

“It’s fine, Grace. This doesn’t change anything between us, and I’ll return as soon as this tour’s up.”

“I wish I was stronger... like you.”

Harmony’s attention shifted as a leaf fell into her lap. It’s a lie, Grace. You’re the only one capable of strength here. You both know you’re already on the train there’s no getting off of. You still have a task left undone which is something you should have been working ages ago.

Once you disappear beyond the horizon, his compass goes too so leave him something to find his way. Be strong. Build a lighthouse out of that strength, then mount it atop this train so that it can be seen above the horizon. Because without it, his only course will be to crash into the rock used in the gravestone you leave behind.

Save him, Grace.

WC: 800

I welcome any and all feedback! There's likely some tense shifting in here somewhere, so feel free to point that out! Thank you!

Previously on Duality: Harmony

Part 2

Part 1

Sal failed to swipe the Stone of Nheskir while he was there, making him tonight's big loser.

Gonna be honest, I was using the trademark symbols to denote how cliched those plot points were. I wasn't really expecting anyone to focus on them, they were just a stylistic choice.

I don’t read many female wattpad mary sues, just don’t get recommended to me, but I’ll try my best