Google the Wandering Inn to get a full length version of kind of this prompt.

Lurn how and enchant them

Just make a magic gun

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Thanks for the prompt. It was a fun write. :)

Rick wasn't entirely certain what had happened. He'd heard something bust his front door open, so he grabbed the shotgun his dad had given him when he bought his first home. He wasn't all that in-practice with it, but he'd been to the range a enough times to know how to load, aim, fire, and clean it. Honestly, he forgot about it most days and felt iffy a about having it at all until about ten minutes ago.

Next had come the weird part. He'd gone through his house, calling out that he was armed and hoping that would scare the intruder off. When he finally got to his front door, it was closed. He stepped up to check the doorknob when he realized, too late, that there was no such object. He yelped as his fingers touched not metal, not wood, but icy darkness. Recoiling from the slab of shadow blocking his doorway, Rick felt a tremendous pull jerk him back against it. He screamed and tried to shove free of the blackness, but every part of him that touched it adhered to it. Eventually, tired and freezing, he whimpered one last time as he fell unconscious.

Next he was aware, he awoke on a carpet of pine needles and twigs, with towering trees overhead. It was still dark, but the moon slipped through the alpine canopy. Something grabbed at his ankle and he cried out again, reaching for something, for anything. His fingers found that shotgun and for the briefest moment, his soul found hope. He snatched the weapon up and aimed it at the silhouette by his feet. "Get off of me!"

The creature, humanoid but not fully human, leaned in and tilted its rodent-like head, a menacing growl escaping its widening maw. Blam! Rick had pulled the trigger without even realizing, his fear taking over. The barrel had been lined up with the monster's face and should have pulped it, but... it was gone?

He sat up and tried to make sense of what was happening. The flash of the gun had illuminated it briefly. It had a head like a naked molerat, except for its mouth was full of needle like teeth. Its skin had been leathery and red as though stained with blood, and its arms had ended in twin claws that were much better suited for digging through flesh than dirt.

Then he felt something stab into his back. Rick howled in pain as he whirled on the rouge creature and pulled the trigger again. Nothing happened; he'd forgotten to cock it. Still, the beast reacted and was suddenly two feet to the right of his barrel.

"Get away!" He screamed.

Then there was a flash of brilliant gold light that washed over the monster. Out of nowhere, an enormous figure in gleaming armor charged into the light and slammed into the horror with its shoulder.

"To the ninth hell with ye, filthy rouge!" The interloper bellowed in a low, but discernably female voice. She brought her massive sword down upon the stunned creature and wrent its head from its shoulders.

The creature fell to the floor in a heap, leaving Rick and this knight person alone.

"Uhh... thanks," he said, still trembling. "What the hell was that?"

The woman took her helmet off, revealing a green face and tusks at each corner of her mouth, "Are ye daft? That was a rouge. Awful beasties, faster than an arrow and hungrier than a ghoul."

"And... red, I guess."

"Aye. Red as the blood in your veins."

Rick shuddered, "Well I don't know what the hell is going on here, but thanks for the rescue. Is there something I can do to pay you back?"

The woman grinned, "Aye, there's something you must do. The goddess Aiena has seen that I spare your life from that beast. Swear to worship her always, take the oaths of devotion, and I shall leave you be."

"Wait... what if I don't?"

"The goddess does not take kindly to those who repay her heroism with arrogance."

Rick wasn't the most religious person, but he still had his own beliefs - and they weren't ones he wanted to change. "B-but I am already, I mean, I already believe in a god. I can't just--"

"And did your god save you here?"

Rick looked from her to his shotgun and sighed. He might have, "That's not important."

"Which god is it? Toralin? Lyra?" She leaned in and gritted her teeth, "Say it's Yondun and I will slay you right here."

He backed away, "It's none of those! Please, just leave me alone!"

She raised her sword, "Aiena demands your conversion. If you will not accept her, you will die."

"Stay away!" He shouldered the shotgun. When she stepped forward, he fired. Brilliant light appeared where the buckshot should have pierced her armor and blown out her back. Sparks flew from the radiant barrier, but she did not stop. Rick stepped back, remembered to cock it this time, and fired again. The results were the same.

"In the name of Aiena, I judge ye wanting!"

And that was when the woman exploded. It wasn't a big ball of fire like the movies. It was mostly smoke, blood, and gore. Fragments of her breastplate slammed against... something in front if him. It was blue and translucent and it shimmered.

Rick was done touching weird non-solids for the night so he just backed away and swept the area for others, "Hello?"

"Greetings," said a voice from behind a tree. "Please take care where you point that thing. I'm neither as fast as that rouge, nor protected as that paladin was."

The bewildered man lowered his shotgun and fell to his knees, "What the hell is going on?"

The bespectacled figure stepped out from behind the trunk, little balls of light floating around him. He wore a classic wizard's hat and robes, "Ah, see, that is my fault. I'm having trouble getting a spell to work and I needed help from someone outside my context."

"You what?"

The man adjusted his hat, revealing long, pointed ears. "I'm sorry for the trouble I have caused you, but I needed a wizard from another world."

"A wizard...? I'm a computer scientist."

"Oh, blast! I could have sworn I told the spell to seek out someone good with using archaic language to design and properly write complex instructions for an automated entity to follow. What is someone who does that called in your world."

Rick cleared his throat and responded sheepishly, "Uh... a computer scientist, actually."

Thank you for reading and your feedback!

Nice story.

Thank you for posting!

Should have just kept worshipping Molek. The Shepherd provides and protects his flock.

Also, Travelers. They're both extremely good shows.

"I've been teleporting cats for 3 weeks."

"You WHAT???"

Thank you so much! :)

"Reroll, please."

My head snaps up from my forging, the soul I was reshaping falling to the anvil. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me buddy! I want a reroll! The last few times you've sent me down as an ant, and then a turkey, and now a lobster? I'm just not vibing, you feel me?"

What the actual fuck. I peer down at the lobster-shaped soul blob before me and my own hammer marks glow before me, detailing all the times this soul has been reshaped by me. "How in all worlds have you been here ten times in five days?"

"I told you man, the vibes were off, so like I just came back? Not super hard but bro, the judgment line sucks. I tried telling the guy up front that I was a frequent customer and next time he should just fast track me to you but he threw me all the way back and I had to wait through the whole thing again! Anyway I want a reroll! No more lame animals, I wanna go back as a dude with a massive sch-"

"Jesus Christ on a slice of toast, just shut the Hell up for a second! HOW are you retaining your memories? That's the first thing I knock out of you."

The lobster raises its front claws in a strange crustacean shrug. "Dunno. Try it."

I swung my hammer down and smashed the lobster with relish. The cleansing sound echoed across my forge as it was reshaped back into a perfect sphere, clear and unblemished as the day it was created. There was no way that-

"Yeahhhh so that didn't work. Don't mind being a ball though. Ooh, sneak me into the NBA! I wanna meet LeBron!"

I looked at the soul, throwing itself in and out of my trash can and yelling something about "slam dunks". Looked at my hammer. Looked at the two hundred thousand page manual labeled "WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENS IN THE SOUL REFORGER (NOW WITH MORE PAPERWORK!)". Looked back at the soul. At my hammer. At the growing line of souls needing reforging. I made my decision. Snagged the dumb ball mid dunk out of my trash can and placed it on my anvil and held my hammer over it. Ignoring the feeling that I was making a huge mistake, I asked it:

"How big do you want your schlong?"

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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“Step forward please. Oh. You again. The boss wants to see you.”

“What…why..?” Lenny stutters.

The attendant doesn’t answer and motions for the next soul to step forward.

Lenny steps aside and anxiously waits for his meeting with the boss. Time seemed to stop while his mind raced about the reasons the boss would want to see lowly little Lenny. None of the possible outcomes seemed favorable.

“Soul #52681087, Human Name Lenny, please step up to the desk.”

Lenny gets up, nearly tripping over his own feet. He walks in the room and sees the boss, Zixx. Zixx is a brutish looking god. And a powerful god as well. Being the God of Reincarnation requires a tremendous amount of strength, not only physical, but mental too.

“Take a seat Lenny.” Zixx says gruffly. “You’ve been back here…47 times more often than other souls that pass through here. Care to explain why?”

Lenny is silent.

Zixx asks again “Lenny, do you care to explain why you’ve been back so often?”

Lenny is still silent, looking down at his feet.

“We have other options of seeing into your soul, but they are rather…unpleasant.” Zixx says.

This causes Lenny to stir slightly, almost looking like he is ready to speak.

“I… I.. just feel this weight on my soul every time I’m reincarnated. It never leaves. It doesn’t matter if I’m a human, an ant, or any other animal, the feeling remains. Nothing makes it go away, so I need to.”

“And how do you do that?” Zixx asks, some concern in his voice.

“When the weight becomes too much, I find a way out. Just depends what creature I am. If I’m an ant, for example, I’ll get myself crushed.” Lenny says.

“Ahh, I see. And this darkness you speak of, can you tell me more about it?”

The way Zixx is asking questions reminds Lenny of when he was a human and tried therapy.

“Does Zixx… care about me?” Lenny wonders to himself. He is almost touched at the thought of a God actually caring about him.

Lenny tells Zixx about his struggles with life. How, no matter who or what he became, he was still alone. For some reason, Lenny was unable to sustain relationships in his life. Whether they be with other wolves in the pack, or friends to go have dinner with, Lenny was alone. Never family to love him nor friends to care for him.

The more Zixx heard, the sadder he became.

“And then I find out not even Hell wants my soul. How do you think that makes me feel? Hell, the worst place in the existence, does not want me..” Lenny says, starting to sob.

Zixx had heard enough.

“Lenny, if you could have the perfect life, what would it look like?”

“Well, I think I’d like to be a cat in a loving home. They are adored by their family and get to enjoy solitude as well.”

“Lenny, I can do this for you if you promise me one thing…. Please give life a fair shot this time, okay?”

Lenny nods.

And with that, Zixx snapped Lenny’s soul into a nice tabby about to go into a loving home.

———

“What should we name him?” The woman asks.

The man pauses, and thinks for a second.

“I’ve always liked the name Lenny.”

That's called ISOT and is fairly common in Alternate History writing

its not their fault i have to remember that their brains work slower they can't just run and let the world fall away behind them as their minds expand to take it all in everything is just so goddamn slow slow SLOW so I run I could outpace lightning like this but I have to keep things sensible because I can't go around running back in time and causing paradoxes so i just work freelance for anyone who needs a hero because i need this to stay sane they wrapped up the package real good like I asked them to before I agreed to help them with this which is good because im not giving the asshole who ordered sameday delivery at five minutes to midnight any more excuses to make their lives more complicated I fastball it right over the fence at one minute to midnight and it sets his lawn on fire an extra good deed for him free of charge because those things are ecological catastrophes

Really grateful for the votes and the replies. This is a good day, thanks to you all.

Thank you MrRedoot! :)

I like your descriptive voice! You have a very gripping writing style!

Clever take- an op-ed!

And the last two paragraphs are well-written and so entertaining- thank you!

I love how you managed to do this. It turned out awesome!

"Why do you think we are here?"

"My guess? Somebody hates us." Mars answered.

This wasn't exactly the most far fetched theory at this point. Landon Park wasn't exactly a stellar place to begin with. Thus when it was somehow glassed and wiped off the map of Ohio; most others rejoiced in glee. At least online they did. Everyone tried to play along at the memorials.

The truth was that the Park had always been in some way on its way out. A slump in farm production, led into heavy industry. That slumped and led into further decline of the area. Numerous tech giants claimed they would buy land and repurpose the area. But in classic fashion, those that did either backed out, gave up, or pocketed the cash and ran. A city of 210,000 had dwindled down to 100,000.

And that was before the test facility exploded. Oddly enough, a speeding semi was rumored to have caused the blast. But that was a story for people back home to figure out.

"At least it's peaceful." Angelika smiled.

This brought up a lot of rather unpleasant memories. Their first raid from barbarians. The feral goblins. That one time Mars himself got abducted by harpies. The time one of the corner stores burnt down. At least they reopened next door. It's not like the neighbors were home in the last 30 years anyway.

"I beg to differ." He mused eventually.

"Oh come on. Look on the bright side." Angelika suggested.

He supposed being reincarnated as an Oni would do that to a lot of people. Pretty easy to feel comfortable when you can proabably level an entire human platoon using your hands and a fire axe. Mars on the other hand, Mars came back as something called a Kobold. He wasn't really big on his knowledge of lizards that walked on two legs.

"Whatever. This place is still a mess." He reacted.

"Oh stop. The Park has never been better."

"We're being pressed by a demon army on one side. A crooked human kingdom on the other side. And there's rumors of a dragon somewhere just over the hill there. You know, those things from those fantasy books you loved that torch everything when they get mad?"

"It's not like you're completely defenseless." Angelika pointed out.

Mars rolled the AR pistol in his hands. "Look. Just because I was involved with that incident at the hunting shop does not mean things have panned out."

"You're a Kobold that knows how to fight. Do you know how rare that apparently is?"

"It's not like I had a say in that."

A flash and rumble startled both of them, and the quickly left their lawn chairs and peered over the railing. Three floors below ther apartment, one of the neighbors was busy working with a cauldron. By cauldron, they meant a repurposed oil drum.

"Hey Patches!" Mars shouted down. "Do us all a big favor and don't burn the building down?!"

"Shut the hell up Mars!" The amateur mage retorted. "I'm reaching a breakthrough!"

"In magic, or crystal meth??" Mars shouted back.

A quick blast from Patches led Mars to lean backwards and let it strike the overhang. Flowers bloomed upside down from the ceiling, defying all logic. Well at least logic that normal people would carry.

Standing on the railing at the top rung, Mars hopped and snatched the bushel of flowers down. Dressing it like a bouquet, he handed it to Angelika in a mock formality.

"Flowers, my love?"

"Aww." She blushed. "You do remember it's our anniversary."

He smiled, but panicked internally. Because of course he had forgotten that it was their anniversary. He wasn't a complete idiot, sure. But as he always told himself, he sure gave it his all to reach such a high standard.

"What's wrong now?" She said as she quit hugging the flowers.

"I, uh... I gotta go downtown." He sidetracked. "Yeah. That's it."

"Well I'll go with you."

"No. No. You've been working guard for three days. Take a rest." He promised. "Have you seen Devon?"

"Oh God. What are you off to do?"

"Nothing." He lied poorly. "I just need to talk to him before I go."

"Last I saw, him and his friends were downstairs."

Of course, Devon and his friends didn't go easy on him about his proposal. A pack of Gnolls dying of laughter is rather contagious after a while, and it made sense why they were already his friends before they all got sent to see the Wizard of Oz.

"So. Let me get this straight." Devon said between tears of joy. "You came to get me. To break into the mall. To get a ring for your girlfriend?"

"I mean, yeah."

"Just ask one of the blacksmiths."

"They're still melting stuff down at the foundry. They've been at it for two months."

"Jewelry store over on 8th street."

One of the others interrupted them. "Ah nah, that place got looted day one."

"What about Smith's?" Devon suggested next.

Mars reminded him. "They burnt down."

"Shit." He frowned. Using a claw to scratch under his chin. "There was that one place next to the police station in the mall."

"Exactly."

"You do realize that place is pretty much cult territory right? Ever since those preppers took over?"

"I'm not going for prayer and a blood ritual. I need someone to help me bust in. Grab some loot. Bounce out. That's it."

"Man I got you." Devon promised as he made sure to grab his war hammer. And strap on a bulletproof vest. He knew how trigger happy Mars could get in a pinch.

They crossed the parking lot as the sun began to set. A lone harpy watched them from a nearby strip mall before fluttering away on the breeze.

"You sure a ring will cut it?" Devon broached. "I'm serious. Your girl got some big hands."

"Shut up bro."

r/Jamaican_Dynamite

I love that you took the first person here and how you angled it at the close not only touching on the vampire's morality and purpose but also the essentiality of his being- the efficacy of it all!

At least to me.

Awesome!

She thinks he's a basic mob, a simple creature to do her bidding, only at the end does she start to realise she's spent years summoning an actual person, and someone more powerful than she can fathom