Goblin Princess. (or if thats not a class dwarf Princess)

I was there, and I had been handed a card by the Prince of Lies.

"...this...it makes no sense."

"Look. You summoned me with your letter. You were the one who came to me asking for a gift."

"I made a typo. That was a letter to Santa."

"You're 40. Santa doesn't give you gifts anymore. You know that as much as anyone. But I'm here and gave you something."

"Well, you didn't give me what was on my list, you obviously aren't Santa."

"Look, if you REALLY want to have eternal damnation for a PS5 or getting your car fixed, I can snap a finger right now and it'll be done. But if someone summons me, I can look in their heart. I can find exactly what is their true heart's desire, and I can give it to them. And I can see- creature comforts won't satisfy that pit in your soul and give you the good life you'd consider to be worth hell. It wouldn't be a fair trade on my end. The deal is always straightforward. I give you a happy life, you accept my torment for an unhappy afterlife."

I looked...and he was right. It's like he got me, in a way beyond those commercials everyone was badmouthing on TV.

"Look. I know you made a typo; this is to your benefit. Usually to the man upstairs, even just summoning me here is enough to condemn you to Hell when you die, so it's basically just getting a reward for seeing me. But, since you sincerely made the typo- if you don't want the reward, I'm sure I can tell the customer services of heaven and they'll cancel punishment for this one. But...if you want it, all you have to do is follow the instructions there and it'll be seen."

Satan vanished in a puff of fire. All that was left was a card.

I opened it, worried this would be the condemnation.

It showed directions to a certain place, a name, and a photo. The message said "...go here, and you'll have what you really want."

But do I listen to it?

I like Dimuna, and I really liked how you played with the contradictions!

A barbarian who is cursed to think he is a wizard.

That was thought provoking, and well written. I like the characters' interactions. I feel like there's things Ford isn't saying, but I feel like I've also felt troubled like him before.

[removed]

The WEBTOON Adventures of God has this gag done multiple times over the years.

Satan takes the requests very seriously, and not all of them are mistakes.

Warlock but their Patron is Dante from Devil May Cry

[removed]

Adresin, the Elf Cleric (Death Domain)

It was hard growing up in a family full of fanatics. Everywhere Adresin looked, there was some sort of religious artifact; the Book of Atheran Glory, countless mosaic windows depicting Lord Ather's Holy Deeds of Life, sun amulets...

His house's living room may have doubled as a church, but that did not explain why the literal fucking bathroom was also filled to the brim with religious items. It made the elf want to burn his eyes out whenever he saw even the tiniest sun symbol on a painting.

Even his NAME was based on it; it meant "Ather's Son" in Sylvan, his parents' native language.

And the worst part had to be that he couldn't escape this for 20 long, painful years... not even if he tried. And Gods, did he try.

Not only was he the preacher's son, but he was also the eldest, the one expected to be the heir to all this life-obsessed, goody-two-shoes bullshit. He was even being trained to become the next Atheran preacher for the village by his own dad.

He would've literally sacrificed his own life to escape this future life laid out for him. Sieyar, the God of Death and Ather's sworn enemy, saw his desperation and pledged to give him the powers to escape his personal hell.

Adresin took the chance immediately, ignoring any ulterior motives that Sieyar might have had.

Sure, he may have hated Sieyar almost as much as Ather. After all, they're both Gods, and from his previous track record, he's learned that Gods care for nothing but themselves.

But at the very least, he could somewhat tolerate Sieyar. He was far less uppity than his enemy, and that would have to be good enough for him.

With that pledge made, he packed his things, planning to give the imminent crowd of worshippers a show they'll never forget.

And that he did. With a dazzling display of his new necrotic magic, he was kicked out of his house by his old man... but boy, did he go out laughing his ass off.

Since then, he continues to keep his old name, both out of spite and to make jokes about how he isn't Ather's son anymore. He roams the world, looking to bring whatever change to the world that Sieyar wishes for him to make.

And to this day, he still dreams of retiring from adventuring one day and making a church for Sieyar right next to his parents' place, just to piss them off one final time.

Cleric, high velocity. Really, I just want to see what the best build is that you can make with the express intent of sending yourself headlong towards your foes at unsafe speeds, using a class that is not at ALL meant for that.

Part 2 - The Visitor

I woke to the sound of Alistor's loud snoring. "Geez, boy. Why do you have to be so loud..." I blinked and rubbed my eytes, but as my vision cleared, my jaw dropped. "W-who are you and how did you get into my house?!"

Alistor woke, lifting his left ear off his left eye, he sized the man up with a long, hard stare, before covering his eye and falling back asleep.

"Some guard dog you are..." I sighed, holding my hands up. "Take whatever you want... just leave my dog and I alone..."

"Ah, darling. Is that... apathy I smell?" The man smiled a bit that motioned for the chair along the living room wall, across from the TV.

I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to sit. still holding my hands up. "Maybe... I don't know how you got in here. No signs of forced entry only... is that a burn mark on my carpet?" I looked closer, then placed my head in my hands. "And you torched my floor, somehow..."

"I'm sorry, did you not get my letter, miss Jill?" He snapped his fingers and the letter appeared in his free hand.

"Oh... you've gotta be kidding me. That wasn't a joke?" I continued to hold my head in my hands.

"No, not by a long shot I'm afraid. Trust me, myself and my colleagues wish it were the case. So, what are you feeling about the idea of moving to a new home world?" The man snapped his fingers again and a coffee mug appeared in his hand, before he took a sip of... whatever it was.

"Okay, let's say this is real and not some elaborate joke by my brother. How many other people are going to be on this planet in this other universe? How are we all getting there?" I looked up at him as he took another swig of his drink. "And who the bloody hell are you?"

The man chuckled as he placed his drink on the table. "I go by many names and pseduonames. 'The Devil,' 'Lucifer,' 'The Serpent' that 'made'," he emphasized with air quotes, "Eve take the apple, the forbidden fruit. But, you may refer to me as Luci, should you choose."

"As for how many other... humans specifically, we're undecided on that matter. How you'll get there: Portals, teleportation, etcetera. Whatever ends up being most efficient. The goal, however, is not to just save humans, but all humanoid and anthropomorphic individuals, entities, and anomolies. We, my colleagues and I, wish to build a new. Start from scratch. No hiding in the shadows or having secret lives. Everything will be in the open. No more 'monsters' being hunted by humans, though, arguably, humans are more monsterous than the things they hunt, but hey, who is counting?" He let out a hearty laugh.

"I'm sorry... you're telling me that all the creatues we read in fantasy novels, fan-fiction, and so on... are real?!" My voice hit a higher pitch as I squeked in the end.

"Exactly. Come now, you didn't really think humans were the only sentient and sapient beings, did you? The goal is to have a strong, cohesive community between humans and everyone else." Lucifer chortled as he picked his drink back up.

"O-okay... but... that begs the ques-" Lucifer held up his hand, a motion for silence. I sunk into my sofa quietly while waiting, gently petting Alistor.

"We've been watching you. You've never shown ill-intent or malice towards any animals, they love you. Sure, you've had attitude with your fellow humans, but come on, your species is full of... depraved souls. Look, this is literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. The offer will remain on the table, take another thirty days to think about it and we'll reconvene then." He stood, smiling at me.

I looked at the man, then my dog. "Okay, I'll see you in thirty days, big man."

With that, he was gone in a flash of fire and smoke, leaving another scorch mark on my carpet.

"God, fucking, damn it!" I went to grab the cleaning supplies.

End part 2

Druid, Frog song

Rogue, charming their way out of a bar

Artificer Alchemist who believes/knows that the weave is in everything

[deleted]

Part 1 - The Letter

I stared in confusion at the letter I held in my hand. I'd read it twice already but still didn't understand. "This has to be some twisted joke that my brother Jake is pulling. M-maybe if I read it again..." Jill shuddered, goosebumps crawling up her skin, causing her purple hair to raise a little.

"Dearest Jillian Lancaster Popper," The letter began as she read it aloud this time.

"You have been chosen to be saved from this wretched planet. In one year, humanity will unleash nuclear armageddon upon the land. Obliterating everything and everyone you know and love. However, my esteemed colleagues and I have decided to give you an opportunity to continue living, on another planet, in a separate universe. I will stop by personally in thirty of your earth minutes to confirm your invitation" Jill sunk to the floor.

"This is a prank! Nuclear armageddon, the literal end of the world as we know it! For what?! This is utter bullshit..." Jill sighed, placing the letter on the coffee table before walking into the living room to sit next to her greyhound, Alister.

"What an I gonna do boy, if this isn't a prank?" Alistor curled up in my lap as I drifted off to sleep.

End part 1

So, Jesuits

D&D Monk as a Catholic monk.

[removed]

Dimuna, the Half-Orc Cleric (Peace Domain)

From a young age, Dimuna noticed how her village's elder never thought about the long-term, especially when it came to war. He thirsted for the blood of everything that came in his path, no matter what, and he ruled the village much in the same way.

She had always worshiped Lady Eladia, Goddess of War and Love, and if there was one thing prioritized in Her teachings, it was balance. A divine balance between war and peace, between love and hatred, between being gentle and harsh.

It was predominantly due to these teachings that Dimuna grew to hate her village elder.

She pitied how the other villagers just bowed to his iron fist with no thought... but it also made her shake in rage at how he could even think of treating his people in this way, how this shepherd seemed hellbent on abusing his sheep.

She pledged to herself that someday, she'd make things right. She'd restore the world to a more just order, both in her little village and in the corrupt kingdoms that surrounded her.

So, when Lady Eladia Herself showed up in her dreams, handing her that metaphorical sickle to harvest the seeds of justice, she seized the opportunity.

That morning, she woke up with divine magic coursing through her veins that she knew hadn't been there before, and she decided that the elder of her village would make for some great target practice.

In all honesty, it was humiliatingly easy to beat the iron fist that choked the village of Stormsong, because it had an obvious weakness.

It turned out that while their leader had skill in physical combat, he severely lacked any magical capabilities. Maybe that was one of the benefits of having such a bloodthirsty elder; they never stop to think of the damage that could be done without spilling a drop of red.

Dimuna didn't even need to harm him to get the job done; a little bit of enchanting magic worked just fine in convincing him to step down. And when the spell wore off and he started protesting again, a small tusked grin and a gentle reminder of what she could do to his feeble mind were enough to stop him.

And so, with a new elder appointed in Stormsong, Dimuna set off to other towns, looking for those who needed help throughout the world. After all, Lady Eladia's worshippers called Her "The Liberator of Cities" for a reason, and she intended to follow in her Goddess's image for as long as she could.

She often heard from others throughout her journey that it was odd for a woman with such physical and magical prowess to be a Peace Cleric, of all things. But can one really be peaceful if they're just harmless?

Cleric and Misotheism

I'm not crying, you're crying 😭

I think I was too close to it emotionally cause yeah that makes sense

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