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Fucking FOLLOWED. 😃

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Mr. Smithers older brother?

At some point the hero just caught on that the victim actually is consenting towards the surprise trip to the lair and s/he's just beating the other guy literally for no offense or harm done.

The villain for many people is the villain, for me he is my unspoken hero. He didn’t hurt me when he was disappointed, or when he was angry. No holes were punched into a wall because he was excited or happy. The only negative thing was the chain that was connected to my collar. I always have been a person that would rather stay inside then go outside and interact with people. Always exhausted when we came back from interviews and such. I was his lover, and yet he hurt me more then any partner should have.

Once the villain discovered that I was an indie person, that loved to read and listen to music the room changed from time to time. Books that were more my taste, cd’s, snacks and drinks were stocked. The collar became looser and looser until I was told I could take it off. With the instructions that I put it back on when the alarm went off, signaling that the hero was close. After the first few times something was installed that the chain would be longer when the hero was far away, shorter when he would be closer. And usually after a few hours the chain would be shorter and shorter. Everything comfortable would be shifted out of the room leaving it bare. The villain and I both knew that was for show, the hero didn’t. But every kidnapping it would be later and later that he arrived. Until finally he didn’t show up.

That was also the first time the villain set foot into the room. He had a sad look on his face and I didn’t know why, until he showed what was on the screen of his phone. The hero giving an announcement with a women besides him, the hand placement on his arm and the hero’s hand around her waist told me all I needed to see.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think he’s coming for you anymore.” He said sadness and confusion in his voice. I had tears in my eyes looking at the ring on my finger, my engagement ring, the one that clearly didn’t matter to the hero anymore. He had hurt me and this was his final act, and I was numb. Tears doing down my face as I didn’t know what to do. I was safe, with the villain. Ironic isn’t it.

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Oh my god, that plot twist is glorious

It’s a faction I made up in DND What’s the problem

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 I wake from bed. Make my way down the stairs. Enter the kitchen, and prepare a bowl of cereal. Delicious as always. 

"It's that time of the week" I thought. I could barely contain my excitement. Every week Caesar, our local 'Supervillain' makes his way into my home and steals me away to his hideout. I was pretty scared the first time it happened, but he turned out to be a pretty nice guy. After a few hours the superhero showed up and I was so relieved I could go home. Then next week he took me again. I thought that was a crazy coincidence, I mean he grabbed the same person two times, what are the chances. Then it happened again next week, then the next, and the next after that. 39 is my count. Today will be 40. I checked my watch. "Where is he" I said aloud, tapping my foot in anticipation. "he's never late." And he never was. Like clockwork, my door crashed in and smoke filled the room. I felt an arm around my waist and I was carried away. I couldn't help but smile. "Can I get you something to drink? A snack maybe?" He had asked. Always the gentleman he was. "Shouldn't the hero be here by now" I asked "it's been almost six hours." The hero was never late. Two hours was all it ever took for them to find me. Caesar was looking anxious. Pacing to and fro. He finished his preparations for the hero hours ago. "I'm sure that they are on their way" he reassured me. Though he seemed to moreso be saying that to himself. He gazed out the window and saw smoke was rising from buildings. He stepped back "where are they?" I rose from my seat and looked outside. There didn't appear to be any heroes out there. Buildings were crumbling. Bodies lay in the street. Villains soared through the skies. Then I saw a familiar face on the street. I looked over and Caesar was gone. I looked back out and saw him, an army in tow, match through the streets. My stomach churned. I couldn't believe this. He had never actually acted before. I was scared of what he might do. My fears were set to rest quickly as he launched into the air and tackled down a villain in the sky. He was dead on impact. Caesar made his way through the city ending villain after villain. With no heroes left, Caeser took matters into his own hands. Things quieted down. Fires were gone. Buildings stopped falling. But there was no sign of Caesar. I searched the city. The soldiers he marched out with littered the streets. I searched for hours. Finally I found him. He layed dead a block away from his base, surrounded by the bodies of other supervillains.

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Thank you!

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That joke really belongs on r/dadjokes

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Haha, love it!

Sahi, the Satyr Warlock (Archfey Patron)

Sahi's whole life was a performance. Xe put on elaborate makeup every day, xe made an absolute fool of xemself to crowds of people, xe essentially became a circus clown- all this to dedicate the pact xe made with xyr patron, an archfey named Nirsith.

See, Nirsith absolutely adored the humanoid culture that resulted in clowns. He found them so colorful, so similar to how the fey looked that he contacted Sahi, his descendant, in xyr dreams.

Xe was told that he'd help xem develop xyr powers so that xe could defeat the Evil Forces That Be... but only if xe dressed like a clown.

Since then, the earthy tones Sahi actually liked were replaced by force with the brightest colors xe could find on the market. Xyr usually relaxed and laid-back attitude was replaced with Nirsith's love for chaos and whimsy. Everything about xem became an unwilling clone of the fey.

Gods, how xe hated what xe had become. The only thing that kept xem holding onto life was the fact that Nirsith would let xem return to xyr old self when nobody was looking. But even then, it was a very thin thread.

Now, with the Forces That Be almost gone, xe hoped xe could finally stop being so clown-like. And sure, xe could, but xyr ancestor and patron had a lot more up his sleeve for xem... certain things that would make xem wish that xe could stay a clown.

Dude, I think you need referring to Prevent or something, with your "purest" obsession.

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

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This feels a lot like Megamind.

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