100% - I could practically hear his voice in my head speaking as I read this. He has a very distinctive patter.

I agree with the coma’s. My teacher said that I had coma-itas lol. Still have it to be honest.

Well I am new so I am sure it gets worse, but this prompt reeks of the kind of paper that a straight-D student would submit in a HS English class.

I remember the day I became God, which is every software engineer's deepest desire. Not one we'd flagrantly admit, of course. A false sense of humility is required in my profession, especially during code review, but deep down inside we really want to be better than the rest. So you can imagine, the first thing I wanted to do when I'd blinked my way into the mshell console was to brag about it to my friends. None of them would believe me, and then I'd triumphantly show them my prowess by demoing what I'd done. It's amazing in retrospect how fast that goal disappeared once I started getting into the menus and figuring out just what I could do in mshell.

Without a doubt, I had the best interest of everyone at heart. I wanted to eliminate everything unfair, from theft to cancer, and I think we all could agree that the world was better off without those. The process turned out to be that much more complicated than I thought it'd be. There was no menu item just to remove cancer, and when I finally tracked down what cancer was in mshell I saw a pile of source code written in some language I wasn't familiar with. Of course, I tried to read it, for what software engineer wouldn't? My hubris was quickly met with the realization that cancer spoke with some pretty sizeable universal data sources and that changing the source code wouldn't eliminate it at all, perhaps only for a square foot of the universe, if you could believe that.

Once I'd satisfied my need to feel good about my power, I looked up every girl I'd ever had a crush on. That's when I first suspected something was wrong because I couldn't find any of them. I knew that most of them were still alive, I had them on social media. As you could probably understand, I desperately wanted to read their minds. I couldn't conceal my disappointment and sent a large fireball crashing down into the ocean. When it fizzled out in a pixelated kind of way I started to really doubt that this character in mshell called "TheRealGod" was actually God. So I switched to "TheRealSatan" instead.

"TheRealSatan" had a different look and feel, and a few different menu items, but was largely the same as "TheRealGod." Even more puzzled now, I decided to peek around in the menus for some source code for these characters. That's when I saw that their source code was exactly the same, they were built from the same template, they just had a few different flags set.

I was so intrigued and ready to spend hours studying the code that I jumped an inch when I heard Terry come through my mic to ask me if I was OK. It was then that I realized that I'd left my VR headset on, and that I'd somehow gotten into the shell of the metaverse I was in. For some reason, I thought I'd hacked real life.

Like I said, we'd believe almost anything that made us believe we were God.

r/StoriesToThinkAbout

Attempting another transformation leads to a fail. She falls to her knees, exhausted from exhorting so much energy. Her dad watches from the distance rambling about how he never got breaks in the war and that he would be dead if he fell like that. She sort of just ignores him as she grabs her wand and attempts again. Holding her wand to the sky, she screams out.

Ari: "Transformation: Frost dance!"

Ice begins to swirl around her as she twirls, but before it gets too high, she gets dizzy and falls over. Now your dad is talking about your mom's balance and style or something. You've tuned him out by now, but what can't be tuned out is a giant ground shaking monster making their way to your cabin. You back away scared, but before anything can happen, your sister comes out and sends the monster up to space easily.

Fumi: "Still practicing, sis?"

Ari: "Yeah, but I just can't hold my balance long enough to get mom's frost dance to work...."

Fumi: "Don't get so hung up on it. You may have her wand, but you can have your own style. Like me and my gravitational dance."

Ari looks at the wand.

Ari: "My own style, huh?"

Ari grips it tight, she starts dancing elegantly, and for just a second, Ari's hair turns to water. She notices and gets so excited that she messes up and it stops.

Ari: "OH MY GOSH, DID YOU SEE ME FUMI!!!!!"

Fumi: "I did. I'm glad you're finding your own style. What're you gonna call it?"

Ari: "Mother's remembrance."

Fumi: "I think she'd like that."

The dad is asleep at this point.....

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I've always been interested in code of any kind. I figured out Java Script (as shitty as it is) when I was seven, and just had a general knack around electronics of any kind. I got so good at reading binary when I was in college that it was like reading a story from a book, just with commands.

Morse code was the first code I learned. Not quite the same, and not nearly as eloquent, but my dad taught me, and it was our thing. We used to drive mom bat shit tapping out signals to each other at the table. She used to ban us from using "that damn tapping code!"

It was only a few months ago that I got the call from mom. She broke down the minute she uttered the phrase "he's passed on." It wasn't really a shock, we had known the cancer was eating him away for months now, but it didn't make it any easier.

I'm laying on my bed now, my heart hurting from missing my dad this much. I start tapping little phrases to myself in Morse code until my fingers hurt.

Then I start blinking it.

Then I start mixing my code that I've been struggling through at work with my Morse code from my dad and blink

C-O-N-S-O-L-E.

An instant blue hue falls over my vision and the words "welcome, kiddo" pop into my vision.

what. the. fuck.

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It's really the worst you've ever seen?

Loved the jokes, especially their first mission being killing rats in a dungeon. I'm not a writer so I can't help you much there, but this bit is grammatically awkward.

>At that point their resident tiefling, Breisis, was a scrappy rogue, her village destroyed she had taken up adventuring to get revenge.

You also love commas a lot. I definitely identify with that. I had to make a conscious effort to break up sentences while writing school papers when I realized I would write entire half page paragraphs composed of 2 complete sentences. Consider breaking longer sentences up or varying punctuation to improve the flow.

"This is an automated emergency message from the SCP Research Foundation. An XK-class end-of-the world scenario caused by a ZK-class reality failure is attempting to occur across Earth. Proceed to your nearest XK-bunker system with haste."

The SCP Research Foundation. Founded after the Christian Rapture occurred, to investigate and stop it from occurring again. Humanity would move on, when it was ready. This belief was only reinforced when the markings left at every landing site were translated: "Do not harvest, unfit for consumption."

The SCP Research Foundation had discovered that they were talking about souls; souls that believed in Christianity were somehow edible, but it was quite clear that the souls had been stripped from their host bodies and used.

Now, they were back, fifteen years after the fact. A trap set by the SCP Foundation was about to spring.

>Attention mortals. I am God, Father of Jesus, and creator of the universe. You will bow before my might, or I will make sure your race never survives the cataclysm.

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION ON ALL CHANNELS: SHOW YOURSELF

>Submit to my will. Pray for my forgiveness, or the will sin the worst sin of all: Disbelieving.

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION ON ALL CHANNELS: HUMANITY AS A WHOLE DECLINES YOUR OFFER. YOU ARE INTRUDING ON SOVEREIGN SPACE. LEAVE THE SOL SYSTEM NOW.

>You mortals think you can tell an omnipotent being such as myself what to do?

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: WE KNOW YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT.

>You dare!?!

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: REALITY ANCHOR NETWORK GO.

>I... What are you doing to me?

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: WE HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR A LONG TIME... SOUL-EATING XENO.

>You... help me... I.. this race....

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, A THIRD OF OUR POPULATION DISAPPEARED. WE RECOVERED, AND LEARNED. WE INVESTIGATED THE MALFUNCTIONING SENSORS, THE RECORDINGS OF THE RAPTURE, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. YOU TRAPPED US IN AN ANTIMAGIC FIELD TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO, TO INSERT YOURSELF INTO MYTH. IT WORKED, BUT YOU LET US POPULATE OUR PLANET FOR TOO LONG. WE FIGURED OUT WHAT YOU DID MERE MONTHS AFTER THE RAPTURE, AND WE ARE HERE TO SEEK REVENGE FOR OUR SIBLINGS, WHOSE SOULS YOU HARVESTED FOR ENTERTAINMENT. TERRA FIRMA OR TERRA NOVA, WE WILL PREVAIL!

>help.......................................

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: TO ALL XENOS OUT THERE. WE ARE HUMANITY. FOR TWO THOUSAND SOLAR ROTATIONS, ONE OF YOURS HAS BEEN EATING THE SOULS OF OUR FALLEN, AND HAVE RECENTLY DECIDED TO EXTERMINATE OUR RACE. THEY WERE GREEDY, AND LEFT SOME OF US TO DEVELOP THE PROPER SOUL STYLE BEFORE CAPTURE. THIS WAS A MISTAKE, AS WE HAVE PREVAILED USING A TOTAL ANTIMAGIC FIELD. WE WILL HUNT DOWN ANYONE REMOTELY RESPONSIBLE. WE KNOW YOU ARE REVIVING THIS MESSAGE. STAY OUT OF OUR AFFAIRS, STAY OUT OF SOL, AND STAY OUT OF OUR WAY. IN GOD WE TRUST NOTHING BUT DEATH!! TERRA FIRMA OR TERRA NOVA, WE WILL PREVAIL!! IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!!!

-----

excerpt from the First Galactic Terran War, shortly before discovering the entire galaxy fed on the souls of others.

So I got this new anime plot...

The cleric Ulfgar Rudbeard stood upon the makeshift altar, dressed in his best +1 vestments in order to marry two of his best friends. As a grizzled dwarf-of-the-cloth, Ulfgar had seen many things in his time with this unlikely bunch, liches, mind flayers, alhoons, but he had never before seen love flourish within a dungeon.

When they’d first met in a tavern they were tasked with clearing out the rats in the basement, rest in peace Simon. At that point their resident tiefling, Breisis, was a scrappy rogue, her village destroyed she had taken up adventuring to get revenge. Standing opposite Breisis was Naivara, her elven features wreathed in flowers of druidic tradition. Naivara had started adventuring after her village was destroyed, in order to get revenge. But three evil emperors, a handful of near death, and a few death-death experiences later, the two were engaged. Naivara had healed Breisis’ broken heart, and Breisis had stolen Naivara’s.

They had decided to marry at the same tavern where they first met, conveniently set along the road to their next quest (something about a red dragon that was seeking to be emperor and going about it in a very evil fashion). Snapping back from the memories of their last year together Ulfgar prepared a handful of silver dust and was ready to begin.

“By the honor of the Great Smith, we have all come here today to witness-”

“Oh just skip to the vows, we all know why we’re here.” Interjected a cheerful Naivara.

“And the less time we spend yapping the more time we spend drinking!” Added Breisis with a smirk.

“Well then,” Ulfgar started again “Do you, Breisis Fiendblood, take Naivara Greenthumb as your wife? To love and to hold, in the poisoned condition and in health? And to receive a +2 to your armor class when within 30 feet of her?”

“I d-”

“COUNTERSPELL!”

The word rang out from the mostly drunk audience with the force of will and a certain vibrato that immediately identified its source. In brightly dyed leather festooned in equal parts filigree and bronze studs stood their Bard. Today Kaya Painter-of-Faces had chosen to look like an Orc, a mask that the changeling wore well, and one she would no doubt have formulated a name and complete cover story for later.

“How?” Questioned Ulfgar, his question lacked anger or even annoyance from the interruption, instead, it was suffused with profound confusion. “None of the Bard colleges teach that spell. When have you had the time to study Wizard arcana?”

“Oh, just some magical secrets I picked up here and there, you would be amazed what you can learn with a silver tongue… or quick fingers.” Kaya saw the blank stare on Ulfgar’s face and realized her innuendo was lost on the dwarf. She fished out a torn page covered in draconic writing from one of her pockets. “I swiped this off of a wizard a few towns back. Complete gibberish until we iced those bandits earlier today, then for some reason I understood how to counterspell. I guess murder is a potent study aid.”

Naivara finally asked the obvious, her face equal parts kind, understanding, and annoyed, in other words motherly. “Kaya, but why did you feel the need to try it out now and interrupt our wedding?”

“Oh, that. This is your special day, your story, and every memorable story needs some drama!

I also rolled poorly on my initiative so you started without me, and I wasn’t about to let you get this whole ceremony wrong. Now then, can’t have festivities without a song!”

With that Kaya pulled out her lute and tossed Ulfgar a fresh bag of silver, and the party began.

​

(Long-time reader, first-time writer. I hope you liked it! I mostly wrote it as a vehicle for a few DnD jokes. Criticism is welcome, I've been wanting to get better at writing for a while.)

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You are a good storyteller now! Keep up the good work.

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You will do fine! Just keep writing and it will pay off!!! Good luck 👍

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Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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Superb.

What the heck

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Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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