All the feels

That's very fair. I usually underestimate how much one sentence can flow into the next and end up gluing my thoughts together into run-ons. Glad to hear you liked the jokes!

more like brown-eyed wizzard!

why commit git when can commit seppuku.

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No he's a hobo who fought a dragon

This is amazing! I love to read dragon related wp's!

Oh I do adore this story. I love Debrah so much, and I wish Ms. Mayham only the best!

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Aww, I love this!

This is why one of my bards is happily married, and the other is far too insane to even consider this.

Debrah opened the door of her office, gently taking a half step out and scanning the room. She was relieved to find it as she had left it. Speech therapy was a stressful process and her next client was Doctor Chaos, a supervillain with a bad habit of, perhaps unsurprisingly, causing chaos. She had accidentally left him waiting five minutes once to step out and see the room reversed, the furniture somehow stuck to the ceiling as it was a floor. Doctor Chaos himself hadn’t even noticed and remained sitting upside down when she called for him then.

Today however, she was fortunate enough to catch him in a better mood. The room remained normal when she called for him. “Loyd, I’m ready for you now.” He was a tall and thin man of German descent. With a graceful flick he shut the magazine with his mind and neatly placed it on the coffee table, standing up in the process. “Thank you, Debrah. Are you sure real names are best here? It feels unnatural.” He asked with plain discomfort.

Debrah smiled softly, “Yes, Loyd. I have found the therapy progresses easier if we can see ourselves as more human and less super.” He sighed in resignation. “You’re the professional I suppose. Shall we?” He gestured into her office. “Yes, please grab yourself a cup of water and we’ll have you sit in the usual place.”

“Excellent.” Loyd nodded as he walked towards the water machine and began filling a cup. “You know I-“ was the last thing he remembered saying. Debrah, or Mindseer, as people most commonly knew her always found it easiest to start the hypnosis when the patient wasn’t expecting it.

It was never permanent, she both lacked the power and the wish for death that would ensure. At least nothing undesired. It simply was a means to an end, a way to safely proceed with the therapy without risk of her insides accidentally becoming outsides. All of the clients knew of the agreement when filling out their paperwork.

“Sit” she commanded.

“Of course” he said, taking his place on the white armchair as she pulled a stool in front of it.

Tell me Loyd, Debrah spoke with her eyes now pure violet instead of a vibrant green, “What is troubling you now? I have already helped you from feeling the compulsion of telling your nemesis the master plan while he can still prevent it from happening. We also helped with your articulation. What more can I do for you?”

Loyd droned in a lifeless stare, “My stuttering. I am a doctor. I have a PhD too, it’s not a meaningless name like some.” A tint of anger slipping out as his water changed to some kind of black oil.

Debrah squinted and raised her hand, pink ethereal tendrils surrounding it. “Focus, Loyd.” His expression reverted back to emotionless.

“I keep stuttering when I get nervous. When it’s just the supes and I have no issues. As soon as there are citizens trying to record the fight on their phones though I get so anxious. I know my speech is going to be posted all over the internet and people will make fun of me. What kind of supervillain am I if people laugh at instead of fear me?”

Debrah was used to this. Supervillains were some of the most anxious people in the world. Fortunately for her, the fix was made rather simple and easy.

She simply looked deeply not at his eyes, but within him. “You will no longer feel anxiety while being recorded. You will not stutter.” That was it. It was draining, but easy and quick.

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “Wake.” Her green eyes returned with Loyd’s consciousness.

He looked at her hopefully, “And it’s fixed now?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, Doctor! Oh thank you!” He beamed.

“You are very welcome. Call my office if you have any further issues.” She said gently.

“Of course, of course!” He said smiled as he strolled out of the room, new confidence in his step. The door clicking shut behind him.

Debrah rested for an hour, gathering herself. She likes to read during this time normally but would take to meditating when her next clients required her degree and discretion more than her power.

She was ready when the appointment time was upon her.

She opened the door again, “Hello. Glad you could make it.” She always felt awkward leaving out her name. “Do you have a preferred name you would like me to call you?” She asked hopefully. The whole world knew and feared “Mr. Mayhem”. The trouble was “Mr. Mayhem” had much rather be “Ms. Mayhem” but lacked the voice to publicly proclaim it.

The girl looked up nervously from her phone and felt a wave of shame run through her and sighed. “No. I guess Adam is still fine for now.” She said with defeat.

Debrah tried to hide the sadness in her smile when she spoke, “That’s okay. You’ve only been transitioning six months and finding a perfect name takes time. There is nothing to be stressed about with me, we both know who you are inside and names are just a formality.”

Adam’s mood improved slightly as she stood up. “Right. Yeah. Thank you, Doctor.”

“Debrah is fine.”

“Right. Thank you, Debrah.”

Debrah motioned towards her office, “Now, let’s get you comfortable and see what progress you’ve made since our last vocal coaching.”

"Oh, don't be such a baby!"

CART MASTER: "I can't take him!"

Does the murderhobo fighter murder hobos or was he murdered by a hobo?

"You rescued me!" The princess exclaimed, stepping gingerly over the still warm corpse of the beast that had been her captor.

"Huh?...well yes I suppose" the armor clad knight scratched his chin in confusion. "I just figured that someone should have come out by now."

The princess leaned in, fluttering her eyes just the way she had been taught so many years prior. "Yes, well, aren't you glad it was you?", she whispered, closed her eyes, and brought herself close. She was met quickly, not by the lips of her savior, but by the cold metal of his gauntlet, the knight holding fast with his arm now extended into her face.

"Ah no, I rescued you because you needed rescued. That's all." The knight spoke, hand still firmly in her face.

The princess pulled back, a confused expression only highlighted further by a stray lock of blonde hair falling down over her eyes.

"Also, how old are you? I have a daughter your age you know. You can't possibly be into-", the knight gestured down to himself. To worn armor and a gut that spilled out beyond the plating. To a face full of scruff, scarred from years of service, and a smattering of dark colored blood across his armor. It was true. He was not what she had expected, but still she replied.

"Well, of course I am, you rescued me! I have to show my gratitude somehow." Her words trailed off upon realizing what she had said, or more how she had said it. Now, staring down a man who looked at her with such pity, she understood the strangeness of it all. Rewarding a stranger for being nice, or rather just for being decent.

Sensing her realization the knight cut her thoughts short. "How about this: don't get captured again, and we'll call it even. And if you do, well then have me sent for, ok? My name is Sir Gladstone."

The princess managed to put on a comforted smile up to Gladstone, which he returned.

"Deal." She agreed.

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Hopefully the dragon is just pretending to be flustered so it can kill the rest of the party.

Long Live the Queen if your dad had healthy coping mechanisms

The dragon stared blankly at the human. "Powers above you're arrogant."

"Excuse you?" The person replied in mild shock. "Do you forget who you address?"

"You know what? I take it back, I am going to enjoy this after all."

"Just leave him alive boss, we won't get paid otherwise." A ghostly girl added, appearing suddenly at the drakes side. She took the sword from his side and handed him a foam-covered bat. "This should be... non-lethal enough. Otherwise you're getting a pool noodle."

The target looked between the two, indignation fading, quickly replaced with worry. "I'm the head of state, you see! The village is supposed to send a sacrifice, if not you, then where is it?"

"Oh, the village sent us, alright. But I'm here to knock you around some and bring you in broken." The drake responded with a predatory grin. "Broken, and alive."

The sounds of babbling and bribes was washed away with the screams of terror and pain. The drake was handed a pool noodle after all.

Follow the adventure at r/PrimusWrites

So sorry for the delay! That's an interesting interpretation, but if you are talking like a drone in a be colony? Yeah, I'd count it! That's a pretty cool angle.

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Go ahead take my upvote. Well done, did not see that coming.

Yeah some of my writing makes me want to drink

A lawyer trying to defend a mad scientist

> Or bust out the power tools.

ah yes the offset-around-immovable hack