I knew something was up from the beginning. The unfamiliar name caught my attention as I scrolled through the job board. It seemed a new hotel would be opening nearby, and they were still hiring front desk attendants. I wasn't aware my city had enough tourism to afford a new hotel. The requirements listed under the job posting were...interesting, to say the least.

"Must be able to work nights and holidays" was fairly standard.

"Must possess a high level of integrity and discretion" wasn't as common of a point, but I supposed that if it was a fancier place with big-name clientele, they probably didn't want their business splashed all over the local tabloids.

"Must have a strong stomach, mind, and resolve" definitely brought some questions to mind related to the choice of wording. Those questions went out the window when I got the next rent invoice, and my car shat itself.

I took a bus to where the hotel stood on the outskirts of town, nestled into the countryside that was no doubt enjoyed by people who could afford this place. Fifteen-foot stucco walls enclosed the property, which struck me as out of place in a town like mine. The decor here tended to skew more toward decorative wrought-iron fences, or just wide-open, manicured lawn. Clearly the walls did their jobs- I couldnt remember ever seeing this place before. Even if it was new, I should've seen the construction from the road when I drove to my last job. I chalked it up to the paranoia of the senator's sons and celebrities that I assumed made up the customer base, and made my way to the desk.

My interview was handled by Sharee, a woman who seemed to be your every day, run-of-the-mill HR snake. She didn't stand from her desk when I entered, merely gestured to the chair across from her. I sat on my hands and tried not to come off as desperate.

"Hello Quinn, thank you for coming. Tell me about your experience in hospitality," she purred. There was something slippery about her voice, and the way it slid into your ears. What is it about HR managers that always makes you feel like you're stepping into a trap?

We discussed my limited experience in a hotel, and I played up the tasks I performed behind the desk. I'd only ever watched the front desk associates do check-ins while I was cleaning behind them, but she didn't need to know that. While I talked, I reminded myself to sit up straight, to make eye contact, to tell her the truth, to tell her everything about myself.

I blinked, and trailed off my somewhat rambling sentence into a weak "and, uhm, yeah." She doesn't need to know all of that. And besides, that was the truth. I did say my front-desk experience was limited, but I wasn't lying when I said I was familiar with the general expectations of the job!

"Well, Quinn, I'll be honest. I originally didn't want to list the position where you found it, but you seem like a strong candidate. If you'll head out to the door at the end of the hallway, the GM would like to have a brief chat to finalize the terms of employment."

Again, she didn't stand, she merely gestured with her hand towards the door. I followed her directions, and as I approached the door labeled "general manager" a cold weight formed in the pit of my stomach. I knocked, and touching the handle sent a winding vine of dread tangling around my lungs. What if they don't hire me? What will I do then?

I poked my head around the door and saw an older man in a sweater hunched over the desk, scribbling away onto some paper. He motioned me in, and I perched on the edge of the seat across from him, anxiety twisting every which way in my stomach.

"What manner of girl are you?" His voice gave the impression that he wasn't interested in mincing words, or that he might mince me if he didn't like the answer.

I decided to proceed with caution. "I'm afraid I don't understand the question, sir."

He dropped his pen onto the paper, and when I glanced towards the noise I realized the page was covered in odd symbols and glyphs. My eyes couldn't quite focus on them properly, and I blinked. I must be more tired than I thought. I looked closer, and it occurred to me that the paper wasn't manila as I'd previously thought. Is that vellum?

"I don't like to repeat myself, Quinn. Very few people actually find that listing, fewer still manage to find the building. You're the third applicant we've had, and the only one who made it through the initial interview with Sharee and also into my office. The last one pissed himself from fear as soon as he knocked on my door. Clearly, you must be something supernatural, but you've hidden it well. So what are you?"

I knew the pay they advertised was too good to be true. This guy had to be crazy. Maybe he was senile, maybe he was sundowning, maybe he ran a branch of the mafia if the threatening look he was shooting my way was any indication. No matter what the reason was, I got the distinct feeling that I wasn't safe here. The old man's dark eyes had become down right stormy, and as I searched them for answers I came to the terrible realization that his eyes weren't dark, they were black. As I watched, the black seemed to leech into his scleras, an inky pool expanding into a void and consuming the room around us.

A sharp rap sounded on the door behind us, and I closed my eyes. Turning towards the door, I saw Sharee again. The top half hadn't changed, but there was no desk to conceal the bottom half this time. Sharee's human torso balanced on the tail of a massive serpent, coiled around to fit into the space between the door and my chair. "Sir, I've got the contracts," she said, leaning forward to lay them on the desk in front of me. I glanced over the document stack, noting that the top sheet was an extensive NDA.

With Sharee behind me, and the front gate so far away, there was no running from this. I took another steadying breath, and tried de-escalation.

"I think there was a misunderstanding about the job and what I came here for. I'm so sorry to have wasted your time, but I think it's best if I go now." I made to stand, and the manager held up a hand. Behind me, Sharee positively giggled.

"That's quite impressive, keeping a straight face in a situation like this. A mere human, by the looks of it, but if you've made it this far then I'm quite sure you have some more hidden talents that may be of use. As it stands, your unusual reactions tell me I may not be able to completely remove this place from your memories, and we simply cannot have that. I am not in the business of drawing unnecessary attention with the bodies of mortals unfortunate enough to stumble onto my grounds, so I believe the most mutually beneficial answer here is to employ you."

My blood ran cold at the casual mention of my own murder, but I couldn't afford to panic while still in the lion's den. I stared at the papers in front of me rather than risk looking him in the eye again.

"And you learn quickly. I believe I am correct about your usefulness," he continued. "Have a look through the contract. We'll need to make some revisions given your mortality, but if you would like to negotiate any of the terms, Sharee will handle that. Make sure you're ready to commit to the terms outlined in it before signing, as I assure you it is is quite binding."

They never trained you for this.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T EAT MY LEFT FOOT?!"

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“Where the hell did that come from? Wait, where did Drew go?”

The other three turned around at Samantha’s questions to look where Drew had been. He knew they could not see his smile, because he also knew he no longer had a face. His entire awareness of self had transformed so quickly that he could barely recall exactly how it had felt to have a human body. Instead his mind was now taking stock of the hundreds of new appendages at his disposal and noting the functions now available to him.

Drew said, “I’m right here guys. I figured if we were going to save this realm we should probably come prepared to deal with anything that might come our way.”

Samantha and the others continued to cast darting glances around the area looking everywhere except for where Drew was resting. Josh and Andy even started walking around him as if they thought Drew was hiding behind himself.

Andy called out, “Are you inside there Drew? If that God has these things sitting around, what does he need us for?”

Andy and Josh leapt away from him as Drew inched himself forward.

He said, “This is me! Once that God said we could choose our forms I knew you would all pick something boring. I get it, but this was clearly the correct choice.”

Everyone stood dumbstruck with their mouths hanging open. Josh was the first to break out of the spell as realization dawned on him. “You chose to be a damned tank Drew?! That was a choice?”

Excitement welled up in Drew’s circuits and he said, “Not a tank Josh. A Transformer!”

His metallic shell began folding in upon itself as other areas began flowering open. Blades emerged and tank treads disappeared while the rest of his body ballooned outward. The impossibly intricate shifting of parts continued until he became a sleek, futuristic helicopter equipped with massive chain guns and a full arsenal of missiles.

“Now get in. We got a world to save!”

Really interesting :)

In this context it would be "hold up"

Forgot the triple dot at the end

This was a really sweet take on the prompt. I love how Danielle’s friends are immediately supportive!

"You think yourself the greatest inventor, yet here you are, just a freak locked in a display cage"

"You've gathered more amazing objects than I ever hoped to see. And now you've placed me among them. Are you sure your side of the cage is safer than mine?"

Very Game of Thrones tone. I like it.

"So I was checking my mailbox for a pipebomb recently..." -RussianBadger 2022ish

The Report Card I carried was sparingly bare. It has to be. Each of my lives was increasingly more mysterious.

My karma was exceedingly high for someone with barely any information. I am constantly stopped by security personnel looking to get higher in the next run. In Gatherings where people can find previous connections and people who were important to them, some dangerous characters always seem to find me.

Some can remember their past lives but not me. Those who can are common but are always fascinating. And so many who do seem to remember me.

They beg me for answers or thank me for getting them off the path they were headed. A former dictator that ruled some ancient kingdom approached me with fear in their eyes, stating that they hoped that I would stay dead. They blamed me for ruining their lands and ending their people.

The most intriguing part of my Report is that my appearance rarely changes, at most changing every dozen lives. I don't get even feelings about my past lives but I'm known around the world.

There's someone who can help recall past lives, but they refuse to see me. They tell me that they can't help but I know they can, they've done it before for many important figures.

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"How was I supposed to know he isn't waterproof?"

I do know that, and as fallen angels they usualy deny angelic actions.

Since this one has a genuine love in children, he might be more of an angel than he thinks

P.S. Dear God have I opened a buzzing jar of religous argument

"All rise."

Bang. "The 9th Flavor Circuit Court is now in session."

There is a general bustle as everyone seats.

"The first case today is Town versus... versus ... Mr Pepper. Bailiff, please read the charges."

"They are quite lengthy Your Honor."

"I understand. Please continue."

"The Town does charge Mr Pepper with the following crimes:

"One. That on March 21st the accused did make a batch of dough with microwaved egg, and then did make a pizza with overboiled tomato sauce, paneer cheese, and boiled chicken. The accused then did eat said pizza without the customary baking first.

Two. That on March 24th the accused did make two over-easy eggs, then coated said eggs in meat rub, microwaved those same eggs, and then served the result to a guest.

Three. That on March 25th the accused did bake chocolate pop tarts submerged in applesauce made with vinegar instead of sugar, and did serve the same to a guest.

Four. That on March 26th the accused did burn instant potatoes in a crockpot and attempted to conceal the arson by carving the potatoes with a butcher blade and mixing the remainder with Cheese Wiz.

Five. That on March 26th the accused did use a tide pod instead of sugar in the process of making cookie batter, which the accused then fried in pickle juice.

Six. That on March 27th the accused did make chickpea spaghetti in a tall narrow pot, resulting in both overcooking and undercooking in the same pot. The accused did then served the spaghetti cold, with cold anchovy sauce as a relish.

Seven. That on March 28th the accused did serve seventeen guests of the Honorable Order of Fishmongers a dish comprised of canned peas and beef that was boiled while frozen, with no added seasoning.

Eight. That on March 28th, when faced with the righteous complaints from the Honorable Order of Fishmongers, the accused did singularly serve a desert course comprised of frozen apple pie soaked in room temperature melted nepoleon ice cream on a plate.

Nine. That on March 28th, the accused did accumulate all uneaten food from the banquet of the Honorable Order of Fishmongers into a soup pot and did leave the soup pot cooking overnight to serve as breakfast.

Ten. That on March 29th, "

"One moment bailiff. Just how many counts does Mr Pepper stand accused of?"

"Six hundred twenty seven Your Honor."

"Lengthy indeed."

There was a moment of silence, then a growing murmur of whispering in the court.

"Silence in the court please."

"In the interest of brevity and efficient usage of court resources, Mr Pepper, would you consent to forgo the reading of charges and have them entered into court record by the clerk directly?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Very well, it is so ordered. Now Mr Pepper, how do you plead on these charges? Pleading not guilty one any one of them is sufficient to move to trial, so there is no need to specify which. Unless you plead guilty to them all.

"Guilty, Your Honor"

"That certainly saves considerable time. Your cooperation and agreeableness is noted by the court in your favor. Now do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?"

"Only that I was taught how to cook from my mom, and in her memory I can not in good conscience feel ashamed for what she taught me."

"Your thoughtfulness and respect for your mother is commendable Mr Pepper. Your adherence to her lessons may not be.

Very well. Mr Pepper, I sentence you to twenty years in the town jail, ten years suspended and credit for time served. During your incarceration you will be required to attend and pass culinary classes. Failure to attend or complete the courses to the satisfaction of your instructor may be considered violation of the terms of your sentence and the suspended sentence may be applied in full."

With a click, the chair of the parole board stopped the tape and stared at me steadily. "Mr Pepper, it is time to see how far you have come," and picked up his fork.

"Since when can you buys souls in bulk?"

“Alright class. Settle down. It’s time I suppose. We will find out what your spirit animals are.”

The classroom broke into a cacophony of voices. It was one of the things any magic student looked forward to the most. A spirit animal would show them the way. It would also tell them of their place in the world. Would they be an eagle, brave and fierce, soaring to new heights. Maybe a lion, ferocious and an excellent leader. Mayhaps a majestic horse, driven and hard working. Maybe a clever fox. Or one of the countless other options.

Ms Stojakovic knew that most people would actually end up getting a bee. A symbol of following orders and getting the job done. Their society was built on worker bees. With the Magisterium at the centre acting as the queen bee.

Their spirit animal would only be visible to them. At least that’s what they thought. Her own owl sat on her shoulder, keen eyes capable of seeing what no one else could.

This was one of the reasons the Magisterium had put her in charge of this part of the studies. So that she could keep a close eye on the snakes, the scorpions or the wolves. Of course, your spirit animal didn’t really define your fate but it did have a significant influence on everyone’s future.

Ms Stojakovic started the process.

The children looked at her in shock. They had never seen Ms Stojakovic move so quickly. She ran down the hall straight towards the head office.

The secretary tried to stop her, tell her the principal was in a meeting. But this was too important.

Ms Stojakovic entered the room, looking straight at the headmaster.

“Ms Stojakovic? I’m in a…”

“Ishan. We need to talk. It’s urgent.”

The headmaster saw the look in her eyes. He nodded. He waved a hand, and the figures in the room with him dissipated into smoke.

“That was an important meeting Anna.”

“Not as important as the news I have.”

Ishan’s face was devoid of any outward emotion. This ability had helped him quite a lot in his life. But Anna’s owl eyes saw the massive lion beside him sit up and pay rapt attention to her.

Ishan noticed her gaze. “My eyes are up here Anna. Please talk to me.”

“Ishan. I… I’m not sure how to… perhaps we should look at my class?”

The classes inside the school were made magic proof from outside sources, with very little exceptions. As such even a wizard as powerful as headmaster Ishan’s couldn’t look inside. He followed Anna, walking as fast as his old frame allowed him. He and Anna had been friends for over a century. He had never seen her this excited.

The duo reached the classroom where the students were all still looking at their spirit animals.

It was a solid class. 60% bees, sheep, dogs, cats and other common animals. With a deer, a couple of lions, some snakes, a few elephants, and a smattering of various animals. There was a lot of potential here. 40% was above average for a class when it came to non common spirit animals. But there was one animal which had made Anna bolt from the classroom straight to the headmaster’s office.

Sitting at the end of the class was a small, scared looking child.

Ishan looked at Anna, slightly puzzled. “What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“You have found the one you were looking for. The chosen one. The one who will bring peace to our realm.”

Ishan stared at her, not breaking his silence.

Anna pointed to the girl in the back. “Her name is Milly. Millicent Adams. She could be the one we have all been waiting for.”

“I need you to be a bit more clear Anna. Since today was spirit animal day, I’m assuming this child has an uncommon one?”

“Not just uncommon. Something we have never seen before.”

At this, Ishan’s poker face finally cracked a little.

Anna continued. “This girl might be the key to it all.”

“Anna, as I have often told you, I don’t have your vision. You’ll have to be my guide as usual, my love.”

“Ok before I tell you what I see, tell me what are the things we know about our spirit animals.”

“Anna, must we..?”

“Yes.” She interrupted.

“Our spirit animals are our guides. They are the representation of our strengths and more often than not, signify the direction our life shall take. They also give us some specific magical powers that…”

Anna interrupted again. “Yes. Yes. But that is all about how the animals impact us all. What do we know about the actual spirit animals?”

“About the…” Ishan looked puzzled but he saw Anna’s expectant expression. “Well they are invisible to everyone and everything other than their human, except for the select few like yourself. They can help the humans out and grant their unique abilities to…”

“Yes yes. Everything else is fine. But the important thing. They are invisible to others. Not just humans. But other spirit animals as well. Except for my Gwai, of course and other few people who have owls as their spirit animals.”

“Yes. I’m aware of all of that.”

“One thing even Gwai has never been able to do. Interact with or touch any other spirit animal.”

Ishan’s eyes went wide. The poker face was discarded and all his emotions were visible now like cards on the table. “You don’t mean…”

“Milly’s familiar is an animal we have never seen before as a spirit. A capybara. Do you know what my Gwai is doing right now? It’s sitting on top of the capybara and looking more content than he ever has in his entire life.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“Apparently not. As you can see, no one in this class is unhappy. I have seen drawing ceremonies for about 8 decades now. This is the first time each and every one of the students is happy with their spirit animals. No one is sad they got a skunk. Or didn’t get an eagle or lion or whatever. As you are aware, spirit animals are directly impacted by our feelings, our moods. What we don’t often see is that it’s a two way street. Every single spirit animal in that room is currently very very happy. Even the usually irritable boars of which there is one in this class is happily sitting and enjoying the sun. The capybara is such a joyous animal that it is emitting happiness and impacting every single spirit animal in the room, in turn making every student happy.”

“So wherever Milly goes…?”

“This girl is destined to make everyone she meets and is around happy. She is the one who will bring our crumbling world together again.”

[removed]

[removed]

Really nice :)

It is currently the third day of my confinement in this damnable cabin.

There is nothing to do here. The computer has a game of solitaire, and there is a pack of cards in a kitchen cabinet. He must have loved that game. There is no connection, not to the internet nor any sort of television network. I think the lightning might have fried the cables or something.

The door, of course, won't open, and neither will the windows. I can damage the walls, but I can't knowingly destroy them. Though I wouldn't have been able to crawl through the holes anyway if I could.

This is stupid.

Day five.

Trying to entertain myself. Solitaire is hard. I wouldn't have even known the rules if they weren't on the computer. Getting better, though. Think you have to, if you play this much. 

Nobody's been by. Obviously. Is this how he lived, just playing cards all day? Nobody seems to care that he hasn't left the place.

The stench is horrible.

Day 10

Been trying some woodcarving. I made a fang. Typical, I know, but it's a simple shape. Maybe I'll move on to an apple or something. Always thought those were pretty.

I found something nice in the old fart's notebook today. Thought that thing was just full of score tables, but no. Solitaire variants. He made up tons of them. Or copied them down, I don't know. Definitely revitalized the game. Trying to beat his Honeycomb Solitaire scores. No luck so far. Guy was a pro.

Day 13

Food's getting low. Just a couple bags of blood left. I'm hunting every critter that enters, but that won't be enough for long.

There is a town nearby, but somehow nobody's come here yet. No hikers passing by the window, even. Just white and green as far as the eye can see.

 Day 14

Found myself carving a wooden stake today. Even poked my finger on it. Fucking edgelord, I am.

Once upon a time, there was a man. The man was stupid and lived in his stupid mountain cabin, where he played stupid card games all day. He had no friends or family or anything, which was stupid. One stormy day, as he was playing Stupid Old Man Solitaire #6, he heard a knock on the door and let in a stranger. This was pretty stupid of him too. Then the stranger stupidly revealed herself to be a vampire and he stupidly fell onto a table corner in shock. It was all very stupid.

Fucking let me out already there is a HOLE in the WALL, I threw him out, he's out there now, isn't he beckoning me out? He sure is, isn't he? I can almost hear it. Positively, he'd want me to join him outside. Definitely.

COME ON GOD DAMN IT THERE'S A HOLE

More holes. More tricks. Nothing fucking WORKS

Blood's gone. Goddamn blizzard just started. Good thing I can't freeze. Bad thing humans can.

Literally how has this thing not collapsed yet? Can it even be said that there's a cabin here anymore? I've carved so many holes, this is practically just a ruin. Ruins aren't homes. I can just. Walk. Out.

I hereby give me formal permission to leave this cabin. Old man hereby gives me formal permission to leave this cabin. Rat hereby gives me formal permission to leave this cabin. Cabin hereby gives me formal permission to leave this cabin.

UGH

Places without doors are definitely not homes, right? Right. So why the FUCK

Doorframes were not the problem

At least I beat his fucking solitaire scores

>She then noticed that logged into her Minecraft account was 'Death'.
>
>"Thank you, wherever you are."

Damn you, man. You got dust in my eyes.

But who's on first?

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