I just thought this was way too much self awareness for a kid to have, but considering how the internet changed us, it's no surprise

I'm not familiar with the restaurants itself, is it bad or something?

Quack

In near future, humanity names were know as great parasite or biological parasites of space. Those names were true, because humans saw other planets as only material. The Intergalactic Federation decided to exile humans from their universe to another . Federation decided to do that, because humans started war, but for Federation they lost, but it was a close. Original humans were slaughter by Federation ,only left their DNA. They found perfect place to leave human DNA, it was a small solar system, that had 9 planets and 1 sun. After 4 and 9 planets, has asteroid belt, it will block their communications and ability to leave solar system. Some time pass and Federation forgotten humanity presents and war they started, but for humanity, they almost extincted couple times, from asteroids of solar flares, but they managed to survive. Couple milenia pass and humanity colonized their solar system. After that humans quickly colonized part of their universe. In progress they met Intergalactic Federation. At first humans and federation were cautious about each other, but then slowly started improving their friendship. Until one day, one candidate suggest humans letting in. 78% agreed, others didn't. But there was 1 person, named xenco. He was responsible for federation history and data sector. In that day when voting started to let humans into Federation, he saw 1 folder, that name was ,,parasitic nature of humans".

the prompt was about kids in the afterlife, you signed up for a heartbreak by reading these stories. also yes, it was foul, and i made myself sad too.

this is stupid cute, amazing work!

That day, standing in the shade staring at the candles flickering on my best friends coffin, I found out my inheritance from him.

I had been trying to light the candles for his funeral but they wouldn't stay lit because of the wind. I had been frustrated and told the flames to stay on fire and they had grown a bit before shrinking and staying lit. They stayed lit no matter how bad the wind got, and provided the perfect setting for such an event.

Weeks later, we were called into his will reading, and the lawyer stated that some of the content seemed to be jokes that only certain people knew about. When his will was read, some people received material items like his collection of books or his strange collection of precious ores and others received things like "inheritance of my pyro kinesis" or "my knowledge of all otherworldly matters" and "politics of spiritualism" Some of them believed that they had done something to receive nothing, perhaps they had wronged him in some way or they had ignored him before his passing.

I knew the truth. My friend had changed and he had been gone for a bit when we were younger. He came back and taught me about all these wild things he had learned about, from talking to spirits, or learning to harness the "magics of the world". And then he stopped talking about them, claiming that he had just been playing a joke.

I guess, that he had learned of something because he refused to talk about it but always told us we'd learn to someday. Seeing the candles flicker and go out tells me that my friend has learned how to do something incredible and that I received a gift from an old friend.

"Wait... You're the... Baitman... NOT the Batman?"

The techie rushed into the central command. “Captain! The human. It’s dangerous. It killed its fellow crew to preserve food and…”

The techie finally noticed the pool of blood underneath the captain’s chair.

The human who was hiding near the entrance rushed towards the final crew member.

The techie realized just in the nick of time what was happening. A quick push of the button sent a static noise through the babfis device. The human, who still had the device on its head, held its limbs to the side of its head. The techie ran straight to the infirmary.

The human knocked on the door, snarling and shouting. The techie tried to explain that none of them meant the human any harm. They were just trying to get it better and be on their way. Unfortunately the human had thrown away the babfis device. So while the techie could understand the human, the human couldn’t understand anyone else.

The door to the infirmary wouldn’t hold. It wasn’t meant to withstand attacks. Attacks. The techie laughed. There had been no reported attacks or any fights ever since the techie had gained consciousness. Damn humans. If only they hadn’t stopped. But of course, that hadn’t really been an option. When someone needed help, anyone who could helped. That’s how the intergalactic universe worked. Damn humans. Should’ve remained quarantined.

Quarantine. The techie realized that if this human could do this much damage in a few ticks, what could it do if it ever…

No. The life of fellow members was at stake. There was only one thing to do.

The techie rushed towards the fuel cells. It wasn’t in the techie’s nature, rather it was in no one’s nature to kill. It was an abhorrent thing that the techie couldn’t even imagine. When the techie had heard on the voice on the radio even suggest such a thing, it had been a massive shock. However, sacrifice for the greater good? No problem. The techie could do that.

The lights on the ship went out. The emergency lights came on, the red light making the human look even more menacing. The human found the techie emptying the fuel cells.

The human said something the babfis couldn’t fully translate. Phonetically it sounded something like astala cista. But before the techie could puzzle it out, the knife was deep in the throat. At least the techie died knowing that the fellow citizens and members of the federation would be saved from this monstrous alien.

Joel looked at the empty fuel cells. No. No! Not after all this. He had been barely surviving for the last few weeks. This had been his only chance.

He shouted angrily and stabbed the weird alien thing a few more times. The thing was dead already he supposed but Joel had to express his anger somehow.

As he contemplated on everything that had happened. How their experimental spaceship attempting ftl had somehow jaunted into someplace that was not on their map. How their ship’s propulsion system didn’t work in this place. The comms didn’t work. Bloody nothing worked.

How he had been forced to kill his own crew mates to survive.

And now, when a possible chance at survival had been so close, this bastard had just…

Joel shouted angrily again.

He looked at the knife, coated in green blood. He wondered if that was his way out. It would definitely be quicker.

Just as he contemplated this, a voice came in over the speakers.

“This is ship Weylander. Number 180924609. We are here in response to the code 6, 28 raised about a fugitive. We are here to apprehend the fugitive. We will be boarding your ship.”

Joel stood up, grinning. He took the captain’s jacket, putting it on. He cleaned the knife with the captain’s shirt and muttered under his breath. “Welcome aboard, motherfuckers.”

The ship, Conradomo, was making good time. In fact, it was a long way ahead of its schedule. If it wasn’t, perhaps its passengers wouldn’t have stopped to answer the distress call. Perhaps they would have just carried on. Perhaps none of this would have happened if only they had been slightly less efficient or had just taken one more break at work. But the fact of the matter is that none of those things happened and the crew did indeed answer the distress call. In the civilized world we live in, kindness should be rewarded. The only problem? There are things beyond our civilized world.

Conradomo docked with the other ship. The captain gave the go ahead and the other two members of the crew went searching for the source of the distress signal.

They came back with a creature they couldn’t really identify. The captain looked at the creature too, unsure of what to make of it. It looked quite unlike anything he had ever seen. But still. He was the captain and he had to do the right thing. He would save this alien’s life.

The alien itself was barely coherent, slipping in and out of consciousness.

The captain looked at their techie. “We need to understand what it is saying. Can we figure it out?”

“It is a language I have never heard. As long as the alien is out of consciousness, I can map its mind, allowing our bafis translators to upload the most common words it can trigger into our databases.”

The doctor chimed in. “Actually, it might be just for the best if we make the alien unconscious for a while. The constant changes in its central thought unit might not be good for it if it is anything similar to us in physiology.”

The captain nodded. “Let’s do that. To help it, we need to understand it. That’s the basic first step. In the meantime, I’ll try to reach out to others to see if someone recognizes this… thing.”

The doctor got to work, moving the bed where the alien was currently passed out, to the infirmary. The alien was then placed on the cryo table.

The techie walked in and placed a device on the alien’s head. “You gonna freeze it?”

“It doesn’t look like freezing would help. I’ll use medication to keep it unconscious for a while. How long will it take for babfis system to map the common words? It looks rough. But since I’m not familiar with its physiology I’m not comfortable with any treatment options I could use.”

“Not a lot.” The techie pointed to the device. “Built a handy timer for you.”

The doctor smiled. “Smart. I’ll probably take a bit longer just to let it recover a bit more.”

They sat with the captain on the bridge when the transmission came in.

“Come in Conradomo. Come in. Code 6,28.”

The captain sat up straight. Code 6,28? That was only for the most serious of situations.

“This is the captain speaking.”

“Did you sent out the image of the alien you have onboard?”

“Yes.”

“This alien is not allowed in the galactic zone. I repeat. This alien is banned from the galactic zone. You need to get rid of it right now. If not, you will be charged with assisting a fugitive.”

“A fugitive? What is this thing?”

“It belongs to a species called Humans. They used to be part of the federation a long long time ago. However they proved to be unstable and dangerous. We banished them to a galaxy far far away. We reset their scientific evidences and quarantined them.”

“Well they obviously suck at quarantining since we found it well within the range.”

“Be that as may. You are to get rid of the human right now.”

“Its ship is blown to smithereens. It will not survive.”

“That is not your problem. In fact that would be the best possible solution. Please put it back on its ship and get out of there. If that doesn’t work, put it in the airlock and just throw it into space. Anything as long as it is not on your ship.”

“Yes sir.”

Unbeknownst to them, the human in the ship had caught the conversation. The babfis hadn't translated all of what had been said, it had translated enough. The human quietly got up and went towards the cargo area.

“Captain. I’m a doctor. I cannot stand by and let it die.”

“I’m with the doc, captain.” The techie spoke up.

The captain looked at his crew and then towards the radio and nodded. “We saved its life. I won’t let it die that easy. Let’s try to do what we can. You go and see if you can repair its ship. Doc, you go and try to talk to him and fix him up the best as you can. Now that I know what it is, I’ll try to find everything about it. I’ll beam what I find to your bab devices. Unfortunately since this communication already happened and the code got called they will be sending some ships to us to check on things soon. Let’s try to get both it and its ship working by then.”

The crew all touched their left shoulder with their right hand, nodded and walked off to their respective tasks.

The techie went to what seemed like the central command of the human ship. After playing around with the controls for a while, a video appeared on a small screen. It was weirdly two dimensional and the techie had to wait while his eyes adjusted.

The babfis device which worked both ways, allowed the techie to understand a bit of what was on the video. The videos were logs of the last few days of the ship’s crew. The techie continued watching feeling more uneasy as things became clearer.

The techie rushed back to the Conradomo before the last video even finished.

The doc looked for the patient in the infirmary but it wasn’t there. Where could the human be and why had it left?

The doc called out, hoping the translation was enough to allow communication.

The doc entered the cargo area. “Human? Where are you?”

The doc felt a sharp pain in the bottom extremities. The human came out of the hiding spot, holding a knife it had stolen from the infirmary. It bared its teeth, and pounced.

The captain poured over the records. The more the captain went over the records the worst the situation seemed. The human files all contained some of the worst crimes the captain had ever seen. The captain wondered if all of this was exaggerated. Surely no species would be so destructive? Surely no species could be so easily prone to violence. Maybe they should all have listened to the…

The captain felt a wetness on the throat followed by a sharp pain. Green blood poured over the captain’s shirt covering the federation’s logo. The captain raised the paw towards the human. The human just stood there, smiling.

"Heroes!" The booming voice of the titan of a man with glowing eyes seated on a golden throne startled us awake. "I have summoned you here to ask that you save the world I watch over. The laws that bind gods are strict, and I may not lay a finger upon it to enact my will. Thus, I have selected five souls from a different world to act as champions! Souls that would find the task an exhilirating adventure. Rest assured, you shall be greatly rewarded for your hard work, and as a "starting bonus" as I believe you might call it, you may each select the vessel of your souls in this world."

He really couldn't have picked a more eager group. The five of us were about to start a DnD campaign for crying out loud, this was 200 times better than a tabletop game. The other four discussed the repurcussions and implications, then got down to what bodies they wanted. I already knew.

"We are ready," said Roger, our defacto leader since he was a great DM and knew how to wrangle us into an effective team. "When do we start?"

"Right now! Prepare yourselves, and good luck!" The god smiled as golden light and a deafening chime slowly built around us. The adventure ahead of us was going to rock, but I was straining to hold myself back from cackling at the looks on their faces when they saw what I picked. The light and sound faded away, revealing a gorgeous view of rolling hills, forest, mountains, and a city not too far away, all of it beneath a clear blue sky.

Roger was now an elf in grand robes with a fancy looking staff, tall and strong while maintaining that otherworldly grace the tree huggers were known for.

Tracy had picked an orc dressed in pelts that looked like they were skinned from dangerous beasts, two large hatchets on her richly muscled hips that looked like they could split skulls with ease, the weapons and the hips. She did always want to have an amazon physique, guess she saw her chance and took it.

Gus turned himself into a lizardfolk that was even taller than Tracy, but looked like he weighed 1/3rd of what she did. He was a huge fan of dextrous, fast paced characters, and this fit the bill if the ridiculous amount of daggers I could see strapped to his body (and the many I couldn't see but just KNEW he had) were anything to go by, not to mention the rapier.

Amy had become a human cleric in clean white robes with a mace on her belt, a fan of simple builds that helped everyone. Definitely the mom of the party, and our permanent healer.

"Steven... what the hell is that?" Gus hissed out a sigh, knowing how much I liked to come up with wacky homebrew characters. His exasperated reaction made everyone look over to see what bull I'd come up with this time. They all groaned and face palmed.

My huge mouth was pulled up into a savage smile as I began chuckling at them, then flat out guffawing. The base was a giant snake of at least 50 foot length, but everything else was unmistakably dragon. A majestic crown of horns, a glowing belly full of fire, the beautiful armor of deep red scales, and six spanning wings that would take some getting used to but would eventually let me become the master of the blue sky overhead.

"FEAR ME, PUNY MORTALS! TREMBLE AT MY PASSING!" I bellowed with a shit eating grin. I spread my wings wide enough to overshadow the hill we were standing on (laying in my case) and roared into the air to announce my power.

"You jackass!" Roger said. He was fully used to my antics and attempts to shoehorn weird shit into his games. "How do you expect to fit in anywhere, or enter dungeons?! Your fat ass couldn't fit in a barn, let alone a narrow fortress hallway!"

"YOUR WHINING ANGERS ME, ELF," I leered at the mage, showing off my mouth full of very pointy teeth. He was unimpressed. "WORRY NOT; I SHALL DESTROY OUR FOES WHEREVER THEY MAY HIDE. PLUS, YOU ONLY HAVE TO SPLIT THE LOOT FOUR WAYS NOW."

"You're so stupid it hurts, it causes me physical pain." Amy sighed, "That said, having a death wyrm on our side is a tactical bonus we can't ignore, and he's right about the loot. We can also have him carry our gear for us." My eyes narrowed

"I AM NOT A PACK MULE, YOU WILL NOT TREAT ME AS SUCH." Tracy waved off my complaining.

"You turn into a giant beast, you get to carry our shit while we deal with yours. We always try to find some kind of positive to your shenanigans, Steven. This time: pack mule." I groaned, a sound that shook the earth.

"FINE, BUT DON'T BLAME ME IF IT FALLS OFF AT 3,000 FEET IN THE AIR AND SMASHES INTO THE GROUND AS SCRAP. NOW CLIMB ON, I'LL GET US TO THAT CITY FASTER THAN YOUR TINY LEGS." With that, our adventure began, and it was awesome.

Man turned himself into a talking walking gun totin womping willow

[removed]

The day had finally arrived. I could not believe it was already the day of decision. The day that every senior was pronounced a real wizard. The day I would become a real wizard.

The Spirit Animal Fest. The most important celebration of them all. Apart from Christmas.

Every year, on the 16th of March, the Spirit Animals of the Heavens fall down to Earth and choose humans to hold their powers and carry it through the generations. This tradition had been passed down for centuries, creating and shattering freshman friendships every year.

My mother, a confident yet creative person, always seemed to have daunting eyes that aimed for the sky. Aquila, the Eagle Spirit Animal, chose her excitedly, my mother’s face gleaming with pride. Meanwhile my father, a courageous and wise person, was chosen to be a Lion.

My parents debated every night till this morning whether I would be an Eagle or Lion. I possessed many of their traits. I had straight A’s when it came to creativity. My spirit animal statues were of professional standard. My advice to friends when it came to hard times was better than the sick therapist sipping tea in the principal’s office.

I have absolutely no idea what my spirit animal will be. My heart pounded as the bell rang, commencing the Spirit Animal Fest.

I entered the vast courtyard and searched around as the Spirits sang and called on people. I found my friends all sitting nervously by the bench. Everyone would be nervous today. I waved at them as I glanced at my parents in the distance.

I took a look at the stalls. It was like a bustling marketplace, a bit of stepping on shoes, the excited talks and bargaining. And of course, as it was every year, Draco, the Dragon Spirit animal, always the most popular.

I knew I would not get it. I was simply a weak and unambitious teenager. Although, I was certain I would get either Lion or Eagle. Genetics were an important role when it came to receiving your spirit animal.

I snuck around the Horse Spirit Animal Stall, a small but courageous stall which everyone loved. I stole a piece of carrot cake from the back as I searched for the butterfly stand. The butterfly stand was the heart of the courtyard.

They gave predictions and advice to newcomers every year. I squeezed through the bustling crowd as I made it to Papilio. “Ah, Sophia!”

“Your advice for this year is,” He opened a scroll as he read. “You shall encounter new beginnings and friendships.”

“Wait what does that mean-” I shouted as the crowd threw me to the floor. I dusted myself off as I went to take a seat. The Calling would start in a minute or two.

“We would like to welcome all parents to our annual Spirit Animal Calling.” Principal Dove said as they stood up to the podium. The room silenced with anticipated whispers. “This is where all our freshman shall receive, inevitably, their futures. We have made careful observations in our school hours, and we know that we have many incredible wizards to grow and teach the future.”

“We may now start.”

The principal called out every Spirit Animal to the stage, each with its own accompanying speech. And finally, the Eagle. If I had to pick between the Lion and Eagle, I would pick Aquila every time.

“Aquila, the Spirit Animal of the Eagle. Strong and daunting, always makes an impact on others.”

“I bet 500 dollars that you would be an Eagle. Watch me win!” My mother grasped me and she hugged me with pride. “Let the selections happen. She has more qualities of a lion than school captain Tyrone.”

“Tyrone was a disgrace to the school.” Mother shook her head. As the enthusiastic claps subsided, I realised that it was practically certain that I would receive the Lion Spirit animal. I tried not to sulk in my seat as my father searched his wallet.

Leo pranced to the stage with a mighty roar. “Leo, the Spirit Animal of the Lion. Courageous and wise in every step of their life. They shall protect all those around them.”

I got more tense with every name call. I shut my eyes tightly as I listened. Suddenly, the same, energetic applauding happened, bursting my ear drums. I looked to my parents with confusion as my father put back the money.

“I- guess she’s not either.” Mother mumbled, trying not to look disappointed. I felt despair rise in my as I tried to think of something to say.

“Before our Calling Ceremony concludes, we have a few special spirit animals here with us. Please welcome Bara.” The applause was serene, everyone knowing what a horrible job it was.

I mean, cleaning the swamps? Washing the boat deck? Feeding the mermen and mermaids? Not exactly everyone’s cup of tea. I noticed Rana, the Spirit of the Frog animal, in the special list. I sat in excitement as Bara droned with a long assignment. “It’s alright you didn’t get Eagle or Lion. Maybe you’ll be called for the Frog Spirit Animal-”

“Sophia Douche. Please come to the stage.” I felt startled as he called my name. Was this a mistake?

“Sophia?” I stood up and made my way to the stage. I could not comprehend the looks I saw on the audience’s faces. They looked like a mixture of confusion and disgust. My eyes felt like tearing up as I stood up on the stage, being looked down by all the people I knew.

It felt like the world was turning on me. I only caught fragments of what Bara was talking about as the rest sank in my disappointment. “Helpful…Friendly…Should be proud…Emotional people…Gentle instead of feared.”

I rushed back to my seat as the dim clapping paused. “I know, not everyone is happy with their spirit animal.” The principal said as she overlooked the students. “But not everything shall go your way. Not everything will be predictable. You shall face challenges, but you have to adjust and live freely.” Pfft. As if.

"My Lord, I have no clue who these mortals are. Why are they-"

"These four mortals are the key to saving my Realm!" the King of the Amethyst Court bellowed. "They seem to know you, so you better get them comfortable with their new role as Protectors of this land! Oh, and don't out yourself as an Amethyst Courtier to these mortals."

I bowed slightly. "Of course, My Lord. But mortals? Truly?"

"Yes. Now go, before I send you to that one part of my Realm that you recently got for me. You know, the one that the thermostat is broken?"

"Right away."

~~~~~

I looked at the mortals, shaking my head slightly. Fragile beings. I still do not understand why my Lord chose these weaklings to save these lands. The war that the Crimson Queen began with Znanel is an immortal matter, to be dealt with the Blood-Knights and the Knower-Keepers.

"Wow, Isoth! You got to talk face-to-face with the god of this place?" a sad looking girl with her hair dyed a powder blue walked up to me. Marienne, I think her name is.

A young man with mousey brown hair was the next to bombard me with his energy. "What did he say? I know we are meant to save this realm but-"

"SILENCE, FOOL!" my voice shook crystalline purple leaves off of the tree. "We are all to choose how we want to look in this realm. Man, Mer, Beast, Manbeast, Mermanbeast, whatever. Just choose, and choose quickly. The forces of Znanel are upon us."

Another young man, but with short blond hair, looked up from his book. "Wood elf."

Immediately, he grew shorter, his features turning more angular and wood-tinged.

Marienne was in awe. "Silas, who knew you would look so good like that!"

The mouse haired male jumped up and down. "Can I be Mousefolk?"

Much like how Silas became as he is now, so did this male.

"Way to go, Benji," the last mortal clapped slowly. "Way to out yourself."

Benji pouted. "What about you, Myata? What will you be?

Myata looked up at the sky. "Make me into a powerful warrior. With a sword. I like swords a lot."

"A mortal after my own heart," I smiled as the androgynous form became their desired self. "Now, Marienne, what do you want to be?"

"I liked Myata's idea. Something like that?" Her transformation started. "Only less swords, and more magic, please."

Benji twitched his ears in my direction. "Isoth, what about you? What will you be?"

"In my fucking armor is what I'll be," I started marching southwards towards my domicile. "And that's what you lot had better start considering, too. Light, medium, or heavy. Or unarmored and let your guts feed the wildlife for all I care."

Gorillas aren't monkeys, they're apes.

The couple were looking for ways to have some fun in their relationship. When you have a child to look after, the spark seems to fall out of place. Looking for help, they needed advice anywhere they could get it.

The man was stumped for ideas. He thought back to his academy years, and a game he and his friends would play. Everybody had their target, and they would each search for the target they were assigned and tag them. The one who succeeded got the next target, and so on and so forth. He remembered the game fondly, it was one of those experiences at academy that made him the man he would become.

He'd teach it to the family that night.

He showed it to his wife and daughter as a game the three of them would play. It seemed to work well. He thought he could let his daughter win on a lark, but she seemed to not need the help. They would have some fun playing, then studying, then off to bed. It was nice. After the game was done, he went to his wife. "Now that you see the rules, let's have a game for ourselves. You and I, no need for our daughter."

His wife was taken aback.

"I didn't do well in it, but sure, it sounds like fun."

He was happy. He made his plans. He went to a friend, and got a box, then put the card in it saying 'Bomb. You are dead.' The box was sent back a couple days later, made to look like an urgent message.

His wife knew she was it. She had no clue how to play the game right, but she seemed to know how.

That night, she was waiting for him, still dressed in her work outfit. She met him at the door. She smiled, and prepared. She was still a little unsure what the game's title meant, but clearly she had the spirit.

A little too much.

"Mama, what have you done?"

"I thought that's the game Papa wanted to play!"

OFFICIAL REPORT:

"Operation Strix has failed.

Twilight is dead.

The "Thorn Princess" is responsible for his murder.

Awaiting new plan."

"Way too easy, was it? How about now, huh? Healing bastard. Try healing this!"

What is that form supposed to be exactly?

[removed]

Waft some salt and pepper in its general direction. All the ‘spice’ a ‘good’ Englishman ever needs.

Pineapple. Belongs. On. Pizza!
gets drug away
I will NOT be denied!

Thank you! The grim reaper was actually inspired by Jaqen H’Ghar hence the weird structuring of his sentences :)

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

“But…you could’ve been anything.”

They stared at me, 4 sets of eyes widened with shock or squired in confusion. 4 sets of furrowed brows.

“I don’t want to be anything else.”

“Well, I just thought—“ said Kenzie.

Rob cut in “I mean we all have those days, and you have the opportunity—“

I cut them off with a raised hand. “You thought what? That’d I’d be insecure? That I dislike my body? That I’d jump on the chance to change it?”

I could feel their discomfort growing. No one wanted to actually say anything about someone’s body—not to their face, at least. My mother had taught me that.

Sighing, I plopped down on a stump and continued before they could try to shove their words back into their mouths. “You’re right.”

Melissa was the first to jump in. That was just the type of person she was: the Includer. Whether you wanted to or not, she’d give you disingenuous platitudes meant to make you feel like you less inadequate. I’d done it myself, back before I’d gotten too tired. “No, we didn’t mean—“

“You’re right!” I insisted. “I hate my body sometimes. Most times.”

There was a quiet in the air, like a sorrow at the sentiment—open admittance was always worse, because you couldn’t hide the meaning of the words, dance around the inconvenient truths…or make polite conversation. Maybe there was also a comforting finality, as if they thought I was ridding myself of a delusion of thinking I was more attractive than I was, and therefore worth something.

Another sigh.

“I don’t like my body. I can barely even tolerate it. And, to be honest, it’s always been like this. Since I was five, I’ve been self-conscious about my weight. Stressed over my common-colored hair and eyes, hated my moles and the furriness of my legs and I—“ I stopped. I wasn’t quite sure where to go after that, how to escalate from disclosing the biggest baggage on my shoulders. “I hate my body. But I think we all do a little.”

I looked around at my party, 4 other people I called friends because we met in a shitty apartment twice a month to play games and make jokes about movies we watched when we were younger. They all looked different. Zedd especially.

“We all hate how we look. We spend years of our lives wishing we could change. Putting our bodies through physical distress every day for the hope of slimming down or bulking up; cutting ourselves into pieces and sucking out and re-injecting to reconfigure what we consider a colossal failing of the genetic lottery. And if we ever get the chance, we take it. We become elves—“ I looked at Melissa, several inches taller, a little slimmer, chromatic eyes and pale blonde hair, glasses-free and unfreckled, curvier but not pudgier—“barbarians—“ I watched Rod, head ducked and eyes avoidant, about 100 pounds of pure muscle heavier and well over a foot taller than he’d been, the long hair he wasn’t brave enough to grow out in real life flowing free down his impossibly bulky back—“sorceresses—“ now to Kenzie, her dark, coily hair now loose curls brushed back with a headpiece, a red dress glued to her new curvy body like she was modelling a swimsuit—“and even those of us who fancy ourselves defiant, nonconformist, can’t bring ourselves to defy too much.”

I glanced at Zedd, who did look decidedly inhuman. He’d chosen a figure with curling horns, four purple eyes, and brick red skin, a forked tongue flicking out to lick his lips nervously. But still, there were a brand-new six pack, cut arms, and high cheekbones.

I stood up, a heaviness in my actions as I resigned myself to getting on with it.

“I could have chosen anything. I could have looked like anything. But I’m so fucking tired of hating myself. I’ve been doing it for 20 years. We ALL have.”

I gestured around at the group.

“We’ll never be EVERYONE’S version of sexy. That’s how beauty standards work. And some of us will never even get close.” I pointed to myself, 320 pounds, middling height, my split ends and few strands of prematurely grey hair, my hairy cheeks, sagging boobs, and double chin, dry hands and moles that dotted my arms and face.

“But who cares? Who fucking cares? I know we all do, but why? Why do we force ourselves to focus on how we look for a few moments rather than how we feel and act forever? I’m tired of people acting like your worth is determined by how they judge your size, your skin, your hair—I’m tired of guilting myself into running circles because people don’t value me for who I am. And if they’re not going to change, I’m going to make them. By loving myself so much the have no choice.”

I let that sink in, mostly so I could organize my thoughts.

“I could have been anyone. And as much as I want to, as much as I hate to pass this chance up, I have to. I have to do it now, to prove to myself that I value myself, every bit of it, flabby, saggy, boring, hairy, and old. Because if I don’t do it know, when will I ever? I get to go home after this is over and tell myself that I loved myself enough to love ALL of myself, and maybe that will be enough to start making me love myself for real. Now let’s tell Argamenous we’re ready and get this show on the road, okay?”

——————————

I stood up from the stump when the flaps of the changing tent moved. They stepped out, all four of them, different.

Kenzie was first, tight red dress clinging to her body—flat chested and proud, her hair twisted into braids and coiled on top of her head, a big beauty mark below her lip.

Rod followed, 5-foot-nothing and slim, wielding a hammer half his size because who gave a fuck when you had magic? His hair still flowed down his back, just short enough that he looked like battle-Rapunzel.

Zedd was next, rocking the horns and red face again, this time letting his leather vest hang open around his potbelly and sporting a bejeweled birthmark on his face.

And finally, Melissa, tying her hair behind her still-pointed ears, glasses framing her dark brown eyes and freckles tickling her nose and cheeks. She was wearing a dress that fit around her soft form in a way that would make an Instagram influencer recommend a two-week slimming green tea cleanse.

“We told Argamenous we were almost ready,” she said from beside me. “Are you ready?”

I smiled. “Yeah.”

We walked into the portal, framed in glowing gold light against the sunset. We’d never looked better.