Dragon. I would always choose to be a dragon.

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All my mind allows me to see is the Ulcerated Tree Spirit

Well, in canonic greek mythology, one could consider the war between Titans and Olympans as some kind of apocalypse that happened while Humans existed. Titans castrating Uranus wouldn't count as humanity was created afterwards, but humans definitely existed in the Golden Age under Cronus, according to Hesiod and Ovid alike.

"Apparently, gun control laws don't really apply to lasers"

Ten years of pranking each other had led up to this.

At first, it had started with ill intent. Spirit wanted me out, and I wanted Spirit out. But then it became more fun, just to see how we could catch each other off guard. And now, I was in front of Spirit, asking him for help.

“The HOA wants to make me remove that landscaping job I got done here two years ago.” I explained. “Or pay a two hundred dollars a day in fines, starting next week. I’m going to fight it in court, but in the meantime, I was wondering if you could prank the HOA instead.”

Spirit gave the idea little thought. “To make it stick, though, you’ll need to do something too, you know.”

“Of course, of course.” I waved my hand. “You coordinate your plans with me, and we’ll see how many coincidences we can pull off before they start losing their minds.”

“Oooh, psychological warfare, I like it… well, minor psychological fighting, anyway.” Spirit said. “OK, I agree. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop pranking you, but I’d love to pull some of the old time pranks on them.”

I rolled my eyes. “You died in 2013, that isn’t exactly old-timely, but fine, whatever.

And wouldn’t you know it, three weeks later there were no fines.

I'm sorry, did you just give the Ulcerated Tree Spirit from Elden Ring SWORDS?

ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ALL KILLED, SIR

Maybe Neanderthals and Denisovans

Beast machines was the beast wars sequel they produced. It wasn't as well received and was given the axe after 2 seasons.

The premise is that after beast wars, the cast returns to Cybertron- but something weird happens (warp travel problems). They wake up on Cybertron separated, missing several months of memory, the planet is empty, and an army of plentiful - but not sentient - transforming drones are out to get them.

After a bit of running around for an episode the crew (Optimus, black arachnia, cheetor, and ratrap) find a place to hide and figure things out. Optimus becomes a prophet of sorts to one of the Cybertron gods, and learns that all of the beast wars was ordained to happen to bring organic material back to Cybertron, and that it was now his job to restore organics back to the planet (in the form of organic/machine hybrids). The crew gets "reformatted" into new shiny bodies that look more like cybernetic animals then mechanical ones, and have to figure out what to do.

It was rather interesting - especially it's dive into lore. They explore the fossilized history of Cybertron, meet new does, get a few friends back, and get a new addition: Botanical (ashe had the beast wars treatment, but on a planet with sentient plants).

It was really interesting for the lore, but not as entertaining. Optimus ends up coming off as a bit too preachy, the young teenager cheetor grows up to pretend to be a stoic young adult (but ends up being a bit angsty), and a fan favorite comes back but some sort of off screen trauma gave them an extra dip in the grim dark bucket.

The 3d graphics has improved a lot: the scenery was great, the character models detailed, and the explosions more explosive. But they didn't have the power to do full organic creatures to robot transition nicely. Rather than having a robotic core in an animal shape that would transform in Beast Wars, they have the beast mode morph into beast machine by going through a glowy ball transition phase, so you don't see any transforming - the robotic parts just grow out of the organic bits and vice versa.

This worked against the toys, since they had a beast mode and robot mode in high definition, but no obvious transformations in between. The result was that the toys has to put seams and moving parts in wherever they could to get the transformation to work - but this left the two modes looking lumpy and disjointed - or they just went ahead and made versions of the characters that didn't look like the show. Example: https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Optimus_Primal_(BW)/toys#Beast_Machines -- Optimus didn't look like that.

"This is an outrage!" shouted the Belgalack senator through hefty shaking jowls. "This goes against all precedent!"

The four humans sat awkwardly in their seats, all in a row, in full view of the entire Galactic Parliament. Their admittance as a group hadn't been received well, as it flew in the face of the oldest council's most stringent tradition. Each species was allotted one senator to represent them whereas the humans had been allowed four. It was headline news across the galaxy and was the hottest story being followed. Cameras rolled and snapped as the humans exchanged glances.

Their names were Sanjay Singh, Li Chen, Klaus Jäger, and Charles Turner. All four of them had been collectively chosen by the human race in what had amounted to the first thing the entire world could come together on in all of human recorded history. For reasons the intergalactic community was about to understand, each one had been specifically chosen for the task.

"Why, I ask you," the senator asked, his eyestalks at full length and trembling with rage. "Are my people not allowed four senators? Do you think that's fair?"

The speaker moved to the mic, but one of the humans was quick to intercept the question. "Mr. Draupnaughtl," spoke Senator Chen. "Did I pronounce that correctly?"

"... You did," the senator grumbled.

"First of all, I'd just like to say that I find your people to be beautiful, kind, warm, and welcoming, and I'd be happy to address any concerns you may have about our admittedly puzzling appointment."

The senate hummed. The Belgalack senator's eyestalks noticeably receded– a sign that he felt at least a smidge of humility and shame.

"My name is Li Chen, and I am one of planet Earth's senators. I believe you'll find that among all of the many species present, our human intellect is far inferior in terms of problem-solving, communication, arithmetic, and policy understanding. We humans would not want to slow down your senate proceedings. We respect your time, and your status as the most important people in the known galaxy."

The Belgalack senator's eyes were hugging his face at this point. The many gathered species murmured and looked around at one another. Finally, the speaker leaned into her mic, "Thank you very much, Senator Chen. Senator Draupnaughtl, did he answer your question sufficiently?"

The slug-like creature leaned into his mic and answered softly. "... He did."

Senator Chen leaned back in his seat and smiled at his partners. "Appear weak when you are strong," he whispered.

"Sun Zu," Klaus responded with a smile.

"Well read, as expected, Senator Klaus," Chen bowed slightly in his chair.

"That was a non-answer!" came a voice from across the room. Everyone turned to find the Klkikuc senator standing in her seat. She looked like a blue lobster with larger eyes and her claws were in the air as she commanded attention to herself. "The senator from Glek-9 wasn't asking about timely proceedings. He was referring to your ability to tip the scales in your favor with four votes. You have quadruple the voting power than the rest of us have. Explain why that's fair."

The crowed yet again murmured. She had a point. Senator Chen had successfully answered the first question, but this one was more pointed. The speaker was quick to attempt to restore order, but Senator Singh was quicker.

"If I may," he glanced at the speaker, who gratefully nodded back. "Friends and family, my name is Sanjay Singh, and I am a senator representing my planet's best interests the same as all of you. So why should our planet be allowed four votes? That doesn't seem very fair, does it?" he asked, his eyes passing over the crowd. "But I think you'll find that four votes, when weighed against the collective weight of seven hundred votes is... Hmm, would somebody help me with that percentage?"

Singh smiled and Chen. The senator stifled a laugh.

"A little over half a percent," answered the speaker.

"Wow, they are terrible at arithmetic," said the Klikikuc senator, laughing and snapping his claws as everyone joined in to ridicule the humans. Singh bowed gratefully and took his seat next to Senator Turner.

"You dog," Turner smiled.

"Only following Chen's lead," he replied humbly.

The speaker pounded the gavel to restore order. The laughter died down and the humans had successfully made themselves a laughingstock. All four of them figured they'd persuaded the chamber when another rose to their mic. A mess of eyes and tentacles with no mouth of note took half the mic stand into its body before it spoke.

"I am Blbltipth, and I am the senator from Slthlthp. You are a meager people. But we Thplpips are cautious by nature. I think I speak for everyone when I say that the real fear, is that this will set a precedent. That any smaller or inferior nation may be allowed four representatives should instill fear into all of us, for what if they, the small, become the majority? What then of us? Would we bow to them should their interests align?"

Sensing a pattern, the speaker simply looked to the humans to find Senator Jäger standing in his seat. He leaned forward and tapped his mic twice before introducing himself. "You may all call me Senator Klaus," he smiled and waved. "I believe I may answer this question easily. Make for no other exceptions."

The room rumbled as everyone spoke among themselves. "Why make it difficult? Everything has an end. And a sausage has two! I have brought for you all something from my homeland."

At his cue, several silver platters began to be passed from one end of the chamber to the other, each with large bratwursts cut into segments, a toothpick in each one for easy consumption. "Please, my friends. Accept this gift from us on earth."

He took his seat as sounds of surprise and delight lifted from those who had tasted the kindness of the earthlings. It had become apparent in the chamber to everyone that the earthlings were little more than kind, humble, monkeys whom the galactic senate had little to fear from.

All but one.

"Hold on, hold on," spoke a more human-esque alien from the far end of the chamber. "There's no way you're this nice. No way you're this dim. You're playing us."

The three human senators looked to Charles Turner, who stood up and fielded the final question. "Excuse me, Senator?"

"You're lying!" he accused. "All four of you! You're not fooling me. I've seen footage of your world wars. You're all a bunch of savages."

The crowd murmured in disapproval. They'd come to rather like the humans, and the accusation felt too pointed.

"Mr. Eulyd," the speaker spoke sternly.

"Now, now," Turner interrupted. "I hear your worries. I honestly do. I have only one question to ask you... what world wars do you speak of?"

The alien's jaw fell open. "What world wa- the three of them!" he shouted incredulously.

"Hmm, nope, don't recall," Turner answered flatly.

"Yes you do," the alien looked around as though hoping for confirmation that he wasn't crazy. "There was genocide, a-and–"

"Nope, I have the documents. Fake news, you lose," Turner said before sitting down.

The alien simmered with rage. "Now, see here!" He continued speaking, but his mic had been cut. The speaker slammed her gavel and announced that the day would be moving forward without further comment as the enraged alien threw his hands around in the distance.

"Incredible," Singh whispered. "I can't believe how well that works."

Klaus grinned, "Only children and fools tell the truth, my freund."

"And that, dear Klaus," Turner said as he adjusted his suit by his lapels. "Is the only truth I need."

r/A15MinuteMythos

I was expecting roaches.

XD

I'm really glad you liked it.

The three kindest words anyone can say. "I forgive you."

Ah yes that’s the word I was looking for

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[removed]

Is the babfis device possibly a reference to babel fish from Hitchhiker's Gide?

I knew my life was going to be interesting when I found my spirit animal. No, not directly because of it, but because of what everybody else thought it meant. Everywhere I go, people herald me as the chosen one, the the savior, the one who will bring peace, and on and on. Because that's what everybody assumes when they see my spirit animal, the Capybara. Yes, they're known for being friendly and happy and getting along with just about anything and everyone. But really? I don't want to deal with that mess, I just want to chill and enjoy myself.

Ah, well, looks like it's about time to be moving on. It's been a couple days of being feted here and pretty soon they'll be expecting me to actually do something to warrant all their praise. But that's way more work than I want to deal with, and besides, capybaras aren't know for any of that stuff; they just want to chill and enjoy themselves. Just like me.

"They beat him black and blue, Max!"

"Wasn't he already blue and black?"

"I know! They swapped his colors!"

That's when I noticed his parents behind him. His mother was extremely supportive and had nothing but good intentions but might be overdoing it. His father looks very uninterested and is holding up a newspaper while facing anywhere other than his son. A cruel double-edged sword, much like the one he's holding. He doesn't want to disappoint either, both meaning a lot to him for different reasons.

He stepped forward, and said "Look man, I know you're mugging me right now, but can you let me win for a bit? I'll give you my money, it's been a bad day and I don't know how much more my self-esteem I can take.

I mock a swing of my knife that he picks up on and blocks. The mother applauds, the father grunts and mutters something about his stance. He hits me gently using the flat face of the sword and I pretend to fall down and run away. He turns back towards his parents and starts walking away, and he mouths "thank you" at me before I disappear.

I didn't take anything from that encounter. The last thing he needed was insult to injury.

Thank you for your kind words ! I quite like the way it came out, despite a few word repetitions that nag at me.

I liked this take a lot

Your thoughts are, of course, beautiful and correct. I had other things on my mind too.

For the aliens, what we call 'love' is just, acting normally. The word 'love' gets its meaning only when contrasted with negative emotions like hate, selfishness and greed. A language that has the word 'love' would also have the word 'hate'. Aren't they the two sides of the same coin?

So love, as a holistic emotion, might not be terrifying to them, but the word might be.

Another reason I thought of 'love' as a universally hated word is that humans are manipulative. Many leaders in the past have greeted with their loving words, only to betray the public later.

Tipping your hat to Douglas Adams?

nice :)