"Heeeey, what up? It's me, David!"
The Demon waggled his hand at me, formed in an ominous shaka sign.
Sweat beaded down my temples while I felt the suffocating pressure of a longboard, leaving me immobile from my chest to my weak ankles. I couldn't move.
"Those swells are gonna be rippin' today brah!"
I couldn't blink.
"You ready to ride some waves?"
I couldn't talk.
The Demon stared down at me with wide eyes, amused at the vulnerability of my prone, half-woken shell. His tongue darted out of his mouth playfully, as if to tease the threat of the wild tides soon to drag me deeper - past sleep or nightmares, past the darkness of closed eyes - into a hell I couldn't escape.
I couldn't breathe.
He paused, his hair like poison sea grass dangling over my sullen gaze.
"Alright dude, I know you got homework! Good luck with that funky writing!"
I felt a chill as the longboard lifted off of me like a shroud revealing a living corpse.
The shaka flashed before me once more.
"Catch ya on the flipside!"

The normally differing color and condition of their uniforms didn't matter much any more. Both wore tattered rags stained mainly red, and most of it wasn't their blood. The soldier sitting on the left silently passed a tin container to the other young man.

"It's coffee, the good stuff shipped down from up Boston way," the first soldier reassured the other when he glanced suspiciously at the steaming liquid.

A long, surprisingly companionable silence stretched between the pair before the second soldier passed a rough, likely homemade pipe and a sweaty cloth bag full of tobacco.

"That there's the best 'baccer you're bound to find in this whole country," he bragged, "and that's about ALL we got in abundance. Tobaccer... and lice."

The first soldier laughed as he gratefully accepted the pipe. His side was low on tobacco and the other fellow's side was short on coffee. It was a hell of a thing. They had probably been shooting at each other in the chaos of the battle yesterday. Now they were sitting here trading delicacies as pleasant as a Sunday in a park.

"Say, Reb... What do you figure they'll call this battle?" the first soldier asked, puffing away at his borrowed pipe with something approaching contentment.

"They can call it the Fight at Fort Fornication for all I care," the second soldier said after a long swallow of the hot coffee. "Hell I don't know Yank, probably Sharpsburg after the town."

Yank all but rolled his eyes, distracted from trying to blow smoke rings.

"No chance, it will be called Antietam after the stream," he insisted and they argued about that good-naturedly for a few minutes. It helped to pass the time.

There was a truce on for now as both sides tried to collect their dead from the battlefield, from the bridge over that creek. From the sunken road they were already calling in hushed whispers the Bloody Lane. From the cornfield where more lay dead than anywhere. That was where they now sat, watching.

"Well, hell.. I'm going to get back to it Reb," the Yank said standing to his feet with a deep sigh. He extended his hand a bit awkwardly but sincerely to the other man.

Surprised, the Reb drained the rest of his coffee and handed it back before clasping the other man's hand.

"I'm right sorry y'all had to invade our land," he said almost jokingly, but there was genuine regret in his eyes.

"It was you southern sort invading this time if you'll recall," the Yank replied dryly.

They both laughed and stood there for a second longer before the Yank handed the pipe back and they went their separate ways.

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I woke up to a noise coming from above my head, turning my eyes in an anticipation of my cat preying at my ears, but to my surprise a woman was sitting right next to me with her back leaning on the wardrobe next to my bed. According to my knowledge my doors are locked and made of three layers of enforced steel padded with a plastic leather imitation. The windows were locked too, not speaking about my bedroom standing at a third floor of our family house. I sat down leaning on the wall behind me, our shoulders almost touching as I was struck by her pricey smelling perfume reminiscent of a cherry with a hint of,.. pine? Her eyes were dark, but I could see as they faintly glow even in the dead of night with blinds closed. "Are you my dream paralysis demon?" I asked not able to get out of myself anything better than stating the seemingly obvious. "I have many names, but demon is not one. They used to call me Cleo, which stood for Cleopatra. You might recognize this one, don't you?" I froze for a second, but then I couldn't help it. "If anything, you look like that Romanian singer, Inna." Her dark locks were clearly visible even in the pitch black of my room and her sharp jaw line with prominent brows and birth mark were unmistakeable. "If you wish so, then I am." I couldn't get myself to speak anymore as I was starting to hyperventilate and my heart was catching what felt like foamy palpitations, that felt dangerous. From this moment on, no more words were needed though.

She extended her left arm, took out a razor and with one sharp movement of her other hand, she slit her wrist at an uncomfortable depth. Before I could say anything, she moved her wrist to my lips and to my utter shock, I snapped like a savage never before tasting anything reminiscent of a food before. In a matter of seconds I started rocking back and forth at a speed that felt like I am about to rip my spine out from the utter strength of my muscle contractions while making "Yum, yum" noises I couldn't control, filling the entire room with goofy sounding echo of never ending "yums", until I realized I am probably taking too much of her and I stopped, giving her back her hand with a look of astonishment, I knew was more than just easy to read.

She looked at her hand, startled at first and then added, "I thought you tore my wrist apart, but there's hardly a mark. You must be a royal or something." She meant two dots next to her slit wound, that were resembling two little needle pricks I had no idea I was capable of creating. With a brisk movement her wound was gone and so was her smile when she looked at me with a deep stare I couldn't decipher.

Next thing I knew I was laying naked on a leather sofa using her bare knees as a pillow. She pointed to clothes on the iron table before me and I clothed myself in fancy chino trousers and shirt that felt really nice on my skin. I gave her a questioning gaze and she replied with a smirk, that felt wild. She took me by the hand and we ventured into an open space filled with steamy pools reaching several floors up, and most likely down as well. We ran past about three of them and then we took a sharp turn right to a space with a gigantic hot tub, couches and a crafty wooden bed with silk sheets she took me towards leading me with my hand in hers. We took down our clothes and she sat naked right in front of me, her back leaning on a wall padding, her eyes glowing like two little torches and her legs spread wide. I felt a mixture of a wild anticipation and confusion as I had no idea how to mount her at this angle without breaking my spine, so out of lack of better ideas I asked her for a position more likely to succeed and I watched her back bend under the rhythmic waves taking us both over the edge until I noticed her breathing goes ever so slightly louder until her loud gasp brought me to a finish, that somehow ended my dream.

[removed]

[removed]

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> Your tribe of homeless reprobates

that one cracked me up.

I cant wait for someone to link 6 numbers and refuse to elaborate xD

Twilight is ok

Bloody Misunderstanding

Ulaf's silver sword glinted as the torchlights flickered, disturbed by the sudden change in the room's atmosphere. Holy water dripped from the tip of his sword like a bead of golden mead, freshly prepared for what he had set out to do for nearly his entire life. Finally, would he face the cursed creature that has taken so much from him, finally, he would slay the bastard responsible for his beloved's death. The cost of his miserable life was a pittance to him; Ulaf would have his revenge.

The heavy double doors creaked as they opened, announcing the arrival of the familiar sounds of clacking heels on the marble floor. Ulaf stared as the ornate metal doors opened to darkness, where nine creatures divorced from the shadows within. Their skin was pale, like corpses drained of life. Eyes dyed a deep succulent rose red. And a beauty beyond imagination, forever outside the father of time's clutches. They were seductive creatures who gave pleasure and pain to those who were foolishly brave to walk the nights alone. The spawn of the impaler himself, lord Tepes, the accursed vampires.

The sound of leather squeaked as Ulaf tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword. His body tensed as he felt the rush of blood coursing through his trained body. The number of spawn he brought was unexpected, but Ulaf had no complaints. He said his goodbyes already; his death this night was assured, this he knew. But one thing he would accomplish at any cost is taking the head of the long raven hair man before him.

"I'm really quite sorry for the trouble, dear guest."

The raven hair man said as he gave a courteous bow to Ulaf. Prompting the eight women evenly flanked his sides to curtsy. Ulaf expected the vampire to laugh at him and call his efforts vain. Ulaf stifled his surprise and sniffed dismissively, casting disrespect upon the vampire's greeting. In return, the raven-haired man grinned, his pale lips ever so slightly.

"I care not for the greetings of creatures such as yourselves."

Ulaf spat, his words dipped in the simmering juices of his malice. The raven hair man sighed as if exhausted. How he did such a thing illuded Ulaf, for he knew these creatures could not breathe. They were, after all, the undead.

"Oh, dear god, not another one."

"You're boasting will not sway my actions tonight, vampire! However many you felled before me ends here!"

Ulaf yelled as he glared at the man who stood before him, his simmering rage overflowing within his body.

"Vampire?"

"You have no room to deny it! I've slain your kin on my way here, monster!"

"You what?!"

The raven-haired man exclaimed in shock, his jaw slacked and mouth gapped as he stared the Ulaf, who relished in delight below the stairs. Simultaneously, the women who stood aside the raven-haired man also cried out; their wails rang throughout the majestic room. Although Ulaf was glad this creature felt the pain of loss, he thought it strange that he would mourn his lower ilk. The vampire lord was notorious for his cruelty, yet this display bugged Ulaf.

"Do not try to trick me, vampire! You care naught for your kin but don't worry, I'll send you to the same place soon. I'll have my revenge for my beloved!"

"How could you, monster!"

"You vile demon!"

The women cried as they Insulted Ulaf, who stood waiting for the vampire lord to make its move. The women's blatant provocations mattered not to him. The vampire's brides are but a minor inconvenience.

"You're beloved?"

"You acknowledged it?! That you, Dracula, killed my beloved?!"

"Dracula? I am not Dracula, you fool!"

The raven hair man roared back to Ulaf.

"Lies, this is the manor of Vlad Dracula Tepes! I know this to be a fact, vampire!"

"Do not call me a Vampire! I am Alucard Tepes, a Dampyr!”

"More lies again? Enough, come at taste the blood of your kin on my blade!"

Ulaf prepared to charge but stopped when the vampire raised his hands.

"Stoooop, stop, right there, stop. There seems to be a grave misunderstanding here. Did you not receive the news from the church?!"

Ulaf knew of no news. The church was filled with religious fools who did nothing but pray to their god whilst tragedy befell them. Ulaf did not need to hear anything from people like that, even when his friend urged him to join him for a sudden gathering before leaving the capital.

"Your face tells me you don't know, then. Dracula is dead. I killed him myself. His head was sent to the church weeks ago."

"Enough! If he was dead, how are you alive? His kin should have died along with him! Yet I find you creatures drinking the blood of your victims out of bowls and cups as if you're human!"

Ulaf spat again, unwilling to allow the vampire to continue spouting lies.

"Vampires are extinct, you fool! As I said, we are Dampyr!"

"It doesn't change the fact that your kin killed and drank the blood of the innocent!"

"Again, you're incorrect. Those poor fellows are not my kin; they are Upir! What is it the westerners call it? Pilgrim vegetarians?"

"Pilgrim Vegataerians?"

"Yes, while Dampyr is half vampire, we are also half human. We eat human food as well as blood. Upir are even less so; they are three forths human and part vampire! They do indeed drink blood, yet it of only animals!"

"Y-you lie."

Ulaf faltered as he struggled to keep up with the Dampyr's explanations.

"Let me ask you, did they attack you?"

"Of course!"

"Then, was it only after you attacked them?"

"Y-yes, they~."

Ulaf faltered again, his memory hazy as he tried to recall what had happened during his encounter. The upir's settled near fires in order to escape the cold, but it seemed to Ulaf that they were trying to pass as humans. They warmed and drank blood as if they were having tea. Ulaf knew the smell of blood, he could never forget it, so when he noticed what they were, he sprang into action and cleaved them all in two.

"You're face tells me all I need to know, human. You murdered them based on your ignorant preconceptions, and now you seek to come here and do the same to my daughters and me. While I pity the loss of your beloved, I cannot allow you to hurt my family! Here, you are the monster you claim us to be."

Ulaf stared at the man, now for the first time noticing he stood in front of his daughters protectively. He saw the fear in their eyes as they stared back at him, his sword, and the blood-stained clothes.

Yes

I request a bit more of this story

Boys drool girls rule

This is wonderful! Thank you for posting it.

Don't have one.

>Mission: Escape the old mansion
>
>Secondary mission: unmarried
>
>Difficulty: Hard

There, fixed it for you.

what's your subreddit

Mall cop?

“I’m so sorry for the trouble…”

“What…”

“The massacre of your cattle is my daughters' doing. But as their father, I, too, had my part in the responsibility for not looking after them. We are all held accountable for the losses we have caused you.”

I'm thoroughly confused by the vampire's manners, and the way he spoke to me was unexpectedly polite. Wasn't he supposed to attack me? I never thought that nocturnal beasts are also capable of civil interactions without the need to draw blood first. Or was this a trap?

He then turns towards his children, “Girls, what have I taught you when you are out on a hunt?”, he asked them in a lowered but stern voice.

The eternal young girls bowed their heads in shame. Finally, the eldest spoke, “We must not all target the herds of a single farmer and attack all at once.”

“We are sorry for… killing your cows”, the middle peeped, daring not to look up from the ground, her bangs covering half her eyes.

“We were too hungry”, the youngest weakly protested, but as soon as she met her father's gaze, she zipped her mouth.

After hearing what his daughters had to say, the vampire turned back at me, “They killed ten dairy cows and four newborn calves from your farm. Each livestock is worth 80 to 100 coins.” Just as I was wondering how he could know the exact number of dead cows without siding a glance, the vampire raised a hand and summoned a heaving leather bag tinkling with pieces of metal inside.

He steps forwards to set the bag on the ground at a safe distance from me as if to not cause any fright.

“I hope this money covers all of the losses your farm had to endure from my daughters' mistake”, he told me, “I will make sure this incident will not happen again. My girls have learned their lesson, and I hope we can settle this once and for all. Thank you, and good night.” With a blink, they all vanished. I look up to see four bats spread their wings and fly away into the veil of the night.

I then tilted down and walked over to the leather bag the vampire put ahead of me moments ago, carefully untying and opening it. I knew there were indeed coins in it, but it still shocked me that the vampiric man was true to his words.

What a strange night.

As the glow of the moon shined in her eyes as it reflected from my silver sword. I had been tasked with slaying this vampiress for attacking the village's livestock.

Her cold, unwavering gaze struck mine as equal. We were ready to kill one another, but for some strange reason, she fled! It was a chase on foot. Even though I was merely human, I could keep up after decades of training. The woods were running thinner and thinner until we ended up facing a castle that expanded farther than I could see. From a window leapt a shadowed figure and landed infront of me.

"I'm guessing you are her sister", I exclaimed.

She smirked and answered; "Who might you be?"

"Constantine the Eastern, vampire hunter for sport, baker for a living!"

Before I could say another word, they froze in place they were frozen by... fear! Was I that well-known?! For a moment I was flattered, but then I realised, I felt a cold stare and I couldn't even tell where it was coming from.

In an instant I witnessed two vampiresses kneel before me, as I thought. A looming figure exited the mansion, a sharply dressed man, taller than any I have ever seen steadily approached us. Both the vampiresses turned their look to the ground, trembling with fear.

As I was preparing for the battle of my life, the huge vampire spoke; "I am really quite sorry for the trouble, could I help with your task, if I may know what it is?"

I was in shock, I didn't know what I could say in this situation, and I didn't need to speak yet, because He spoke again.

"Oh where are my manners excuse me for my rudeness, I am Jonathan, you may address me as John. In my understanding you are Constantine, right?"

I... fainted from shock, I had no option but to collapse, the first vampire is infront of me and he is... polite?

How dare you insult such masterful narrative by comparing it to that drivel

good, cos i say it cos i wanna read more!