Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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Really good writing, I like how no one interrupted

The red button on the recorder went click. The reporter set it on the table and slid back in his chair, licking the tip of his pen out of habit as he flipped his notebook to a new page. He crossed his legs.

“First of all I want to thank you for agreeing to this interview, Miss Kinney” he said with a smile. “It’s an honor being able to speak to you like this.”

She returned his smile, sitting forward in her chair. “It’s my pleasure, Mr. Tanner. I know you’ve been trying for a while.”

He scribbled on his notepad as she spoke, his eyes never leaving her for more than half a second. From her angle she could almost see what he was writing. It looked like some form of shorthand, all soft curves and smooth transitions.

Seeing the direction of her gaze, his smile turned lopsided for a moment and he adjusted, tilting the notebook just that much further away.

“To start us off, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself.”

She sighed and leaned back, boredom already beginning to set in as she began listing off various ‘interesting’ points along her life story.

Mr. Tanner cleared his throat, “I apologize for interrupting. I do love listening to you talk, but I’d like something a bit more personal. I already gathered this stuff from your social media.”

“You want more personal? Something I didn’t put on social media. Alright. There was this time…”

As she talked, the reporter kept his eyes trained on her, but still his hand never stopped moving over the page.

“…After a long day of walking along the side of the freeway outside Sioux Falls, we were picked up by the Sheriff himself. My dad wired the money for bus tickets. We were both grounded for a year,” she rested her head in her palms, peeking through her fingers at him.

He grinned. “I see. So you were a bit of a delinquent. That does contradict the perfect image you’ve got online, doesn’t it? But I bet it gets more interesting from there. Tell me more.”

She opened her mouth, her jaw working for a second. Then she flushed a soft shade of red.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it. You almost made me want to tell you everything. How did you even do that?” she asked, her hands coming down on the red Record button. “You’ve been recording this whole time. What are you even writing?” She craned her neck to see what was on the paper.

This time it was his turn to flush. He turned the notebook around to show her the beginnings of a sketch of herself. All soft curves and smooth transitions. He smiled sheepishly. “This is what I do for a hobby.”

“A good reporter and a great artist? Well. You may just be able to get another date out of me yet, Mr. Tanner.”

“Thank you kindly, Miss Kinney.” He grinned.

I see! Lol, that's way simpler. I was thinking you were trying to imply this was a father-son thing. Lol, trust me to overcomplicate things. But glad you found the feedback helpful!

NYTB!

Good Words!

So this AI crashed reddit because they didn't approve of it... yep, an AI Karen XD

Sydney sounds fun!

The illuminati forced reddit to do it so the reddit community has time to achieve an incredible feat.

Touching grass

I spilled my orange juice...

[deleted]

"They'll notice!"

"They'll never notice. And we'll increase profits by 30%."

"But... we haven't tested it enough! Just look at this post it created... it's nothing but a stupid repost, and it even lost the sound of the video! How are we going to get more subscribers with posts that shitty?"

"Ah, you are that new guy. Have you ever even read anything on our subs? Reposts are the primary source of Karma. And ChatReddit is doing so much more..."

"But... it's just reposting, and mashing together successful posts, putting them into subs that are supposed to have real stories! Genuine content! People will notice!"

"You still don't get it. True Redditors already know that most of what they read is just reposted, or creative writing presented as truth. And you know what they do about it? They bitch about it, creating more content! They set out to make up better fake stories to present as real! They are here for entertainment!
They are not here to find THE truth. They are here to read THEIR truth! And we are not limited to one truth we want to push down their throats. They want to think all women or men are evil? We got subs for that. They want to believe in water? We got subs for that! We have subs for everything!"

"But... ChatReddit can't make up real content. It can just copy stuff and mash it together. It isn't quality content!"

"I know you are here for your AI knowledge. But you really, really have no clue what Redditors want to see. You think they want to only read well researched articles, or fact-checked stories?
They want to read stories about crazy, son-controlling mother-in-laws that end up in prison. They want to judge people and tell them that they are assholes or totally innocent. We already have that, but the karma bots in those subs were not working for us. ChatReddit changes that. We are going to sell those accounts now.
But it isn't just about those bots. There are too many subs that have dried up. Too many potential niche fans that even here haven't found their people. There's no Kiss / Power Rangers crossover fan-fiction sub yet? ChatReddit will create it as soon as someone mentions it! Even r/fakesubsifellfor will be filled. With postings pointing out that there are no fake subs anymore! We will have content for everyone! Everyone will become a Redditor! EVERYONE!!!
Harhar. Muhahaha. MUHAHAHAAAA!"

"I think I want to go back to Bing..."

BOOM..

What a twist..

Awesome!

"Trust. But verify."

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

At first it was great, all my pets, all the animals I had taken care of. The lamb I raised thay summer I went to stay with my Grandparents, the fish and frogs, and rodents from my school days.

But then I started to question it, why was I the one they loved most in their life? Why was I the best they had. I was terrible. I was a shit friend, and a selfish owner. I shouldn't be anyone's high point, I shouldn't be the standard others hold themselves to.

And then, I began to question more. Where was everyone else? My parents, my Grandparents, my friends who had passed before me.

Where was everybody. And then I understood. This was heaven. Hell was other people knowing you, and this was heaven. Alone, but not.

Those animals loved me. And I loved them, for a time. But they passed on, and I moved on, and our reunion was never meant to be.

This is heaven, a reminder of all that we lost, a reminder of all we were to others.

This is Heaven. And I don't remember who wasn't there to greet me. Just as they didn't remember me.

This is Heaven. And Ignorance is bliss.

“Mike, thank you for sharing. I want you to follow Mike’s lead and spend this week writing in your journals about one positive thing that has happened each of the 7 days. It can be something as simple as getting a good night’s…or good morning’s rest, to something major like starting to accept who you are. Next week we will share one positive thing with the group. We need to try and push out the negatives like Mike. Be like Mike. Mike has spent three years with us, and each time, he would introduce himself as a “bi-clops” but today, he finally had the courage to see that he is a Cyclops, despite him having two eyes,” I told everyone.

Some of them nodded.

“But Dr. Rose…,” Gary shyly said.

“Oh, I would like to apologize. I’m sorry to Gary and others who may be incorporeal and unable to physically lift up a writing tool to write something down. I need to be more inclusive in my wording and the way I speak. You can ask a friend or someone to write it down for you, or if you don’t want to share something personal, just be sure to remember it. Repeat it three times to yourself in the morning, afternoon and night so it really sticks in your head…er…in your thoughts.”

“We have time for one more speaker. Do any of our new participants want to share for the first time?”

Ashley slowly raised her hand.

“Yes, Ashley?”

“I would…like to talk about my situation,” she said.

“Okay, first introduce yourself, tell us a little about yourself, then open up as much, or as little, as you want.”

“Okay. My name is Ashley of the Baltic Sea. as you can see, I’m a mermaid,” she said. Her tail lifted up and splashed down in the pool we set up for her.

“Hello Ashley,” the group all said in unison.

“This is my…fifth or sixth week coming here, but my first time talking. I know some people are talking and wondering what my whole issue is and it is embarrassing to talk about and…”

“Ashley, I’m going to jump in right now and say everyone here has felt that way once upon a time. But I assure you, while there may be some natural curiosity about who you are, it comes from a positive place, one where people want to help you instead of ridicule you,” I told her.

“I…I can’t swim,” she said. She winced, anticipating laughter or shock or something. But the group was silent.

After a moment of bracing for the worst and not getting the reaction she thought, she opened up a little bit more.

“Mermaids are like birds, in a way. We have to learn how to swim. We leave our little caves and jump in the current and try to swim…but the times I did it, I just couldn’t do it. I would flop my fin back and forth but I wouldn’t go anywhere. I had to be rescued several times by my siblings, all of which are younger than me. Each time they would take me back to the cave and I’d sit there. And I’ve sat there for sixteen years now. I can’t swim. I know other mermaids talk about me. I know they laugh and I’m an embarrassment to my family. And I wish I could swim. But I just can’t…” she said.

She waited for someone to speak up and jump in with their own trauma, but again, the group was silent.

“My dad used to tell me he can’t wait to go out for our first swim, and I was so excited whenever we talked about it. He never pushed me, nor did my mom, they told me when it is time, it is time. So when I began to swim a little on my own in the little cave we lived in, I thought it would be just a matter of days before I’m in the big ocean with my dad and family and friends. But days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into 16 years. I’ve been stuck in that damn cave for 16 years. I tried, I really did. I tried every day. I still do sometimes, when no one is around. But it just…it just doesn’t work for me,” she continued.

“I don’t know what is wrong with me. Am I broken? Am I a defect?” she said, tears now welling up in her eyes. “Why me? What did I do? I just want to swim with my dad. I just want him to be happy. I know he is embarrassed that I’m never at family gatherings or functions. I know he is embarrassed when he introduces his five children, then has to explain where the sixth one, his oldest, is. I don’t want to be like this. But I just don’t know what is happening or why I can’t swim. I’d give anything to be out there in the ocean with them. I know my mom wanted to see me date and get married and start a family of my own. Who wants to get married to a defect? Who wants to get married to a mermaid who can’t swim?” her tone was getting angrier and louder.

“Ashley, I want to stop you right there. You are as you are. You are not a defect. You aren’t broken. I know it is a huge ask of me, but I want you to stop referring to yourself as one. And your feelings are normal. Everyone here, every single one, has felt the same thing you felt one time or another. Everyone here felt out of place. Everyone here felt like they didn’t belong. But slowly, we realize we are the ones that put up the walls that separated us because of the way we think. You are still a mermaid. We have a lot to work on, a lot of trauma to unpack, and I want to have a few private sessions with you in the meantime. I think you made a tremendous breakthrough today. But this is the first step in a long and difficult journey. But we are here with you,” I said.

She nodded and patted her eyes dry. “Thank you Dr. Rose.”

“Thank you Ashley for sharing,” I said. “It looks like we are out of time. But I just want to let you know we will be saying goodbye to Hector tomorrow. He isn’t here with us, he went back to his family to tell them the good news, but we will have a going away party tomorrow for him. When Hector came to us, he was a lost gnome who had really bad allergies and couldn’t stand, literally, in a garden. But! We worked with him and while we weren’t able to solve his allergies, we did find a place where Hector can live a full and happy life. He is going to intern and possibly become a gargoyle! So that’s big exciting news for him. Instead of standing guard in a garden, he will be high up in the clouds on top of the largest buildings in the world. Hopefully he’s not scared of heights,” I said, jokingly.

The group laughed a little. “And in his place, we will have a new face. My sheet tells me her name is Sonya and she's a harpy," I said.

[removed]

Exactly. "A little trust goes a long way."

The less you use, the longer you survive.

[deleted]

You have a promising career as a romance author.

[removed]

“Welcome to Point Squared, the news debate show where the points are pointed. I’m your host, Samantha Stellen.” She paused, flashing a too-bright grin. “Tonight’s topic, the imminent destruction of Earth by the Kordrathi warfleet… Or is it imminent?”

Samantha turned to a distinguished white haired gentleman seated at the table beside her. “We’re honored to have NASA’s Dr. Morris Exemplarre with us tonight.”

He nodded curtly.

"And once again joining us remotely, is Will Fükkus of the ‘Kordrathi Are Kewl Alliance’, a disgraced former pig farmer from—”

“It was never proven that I was sellin’ monkey meat!” Will interjected.

“Right… Mr. Fükkus, what is the K.A.K.A. view on this alleged imminent 'destruction'?”

“Ain’t happenin’! The Kordrathi are super chill, just here on vacation.”

“Well, smaller attacks already have wiped out 20% of Earth’s population, but… a fascinating take! And doctor, your team was the first to communicate with the Kordrathi two years ago. Your counterpoint?”

“As always, K.A.K.A. is bullshit,” Morris said simply, too exhausted for intonation. “The Kordrathi are not inherently violent, but humanity squandered every chance at diplomacy, and now... we’re screwed.”

Samantha was a well-seasoned host, adept at guiding wayward guests back onto the rails, but even she was taken aback. “Pardon me?”

“In our first communications, the Kordrathi offered a non-aggression pact, so we asked the public—begged them!—to remain peaceful.” Morris stared into the camera. “And what’d you morons do? You shot at the first Kordrathi diplomatic craft to enter our atmosphere. With… guns, nailguns, fireworks—”

“As was their constitutional right!” Will interjected.

“In what section of the constitution is the right to 'shoot fireworks at aliens' written?”

“Uhhhhrmmm, Exodus? Probably?”

“Great. Brilliant stuff as always.” Morris sighed. “The world chose to believe K.A.K.A., and now, we’re going to suffer the consequences.”

Samantha fidgeted nervously. “Doctor, you’ve always evoked a hopeful tone, are you saying—”

“Who cares what he says! Look, I’m goin’ out to meet the Kordrathi Party Fleet when it arrives, and everyone else should—”

“Oh, shut up, Mr. Fükkus!” Samantha yelled.

Unused to pushback, Will fell silent.

“Doctor, there may be a viewer out there willing to listen, so, understanding there are no good options at this point, what pragmatic steps could you advise?”

Morris smiled wanly. “If you've constructed a bunker, as advised, get yourself and your loved ones inside now. If you didn’t, shelter in a basement, cave, or any underground location you can. If you survive the initial bombardment and encounter Kordrathi soldiers in the weeks to come, shout ‘Kavlak’, it translates roughly to asking for forgiveness.”

Samantha nodded solemnly. “Thank you, Doctor. Now, Will—”

“Hooooooold up,” Will said, “got a knock at my door.”

Will stood, opened his door, and vaporized as rippling waves of green energy passed through his body. A little gray alien holding a raygun strode into his room and peered curiously into the camera.

“Well, then,” Samantha muttered, “I’d call this debate settled.”

It was a perfectly ordinary Thursday, or at least that's what everyone thought. Unbeknownst to them, the universe was hiding a secret so absurd, so ineffably preposterous, that it could only be revealed on a day like this. And it all began with a blackout.

Reddit, the digital bastion of cat pictures and heated arguments about inconsequential matters, suddenly went dark. Users across the globe stared blankly at their screens, wondering how they'd ever fill the gaping void left by this sudden absence.

The powers that be quickly issued a statement, citing server updates and a minor glitch. But the real reason was far more ludicrous than anyone could imagine.

You see, Reddit hadn't merely suffered a technical hiccup. No, it had stumbled upon an interdimensional portal that opened directly into the realm of the Galactic Council of Extremely Mundane Affairs (GCEMA). This little-known organization was responsible for overseeing the most trivial, banal matters of the universe – things like making sure socks always vanished in the laundry or ensuring that pens never worked when you needed them most.

It turned out that the portal was opened by an unsuspecting user who had unwittingly posted the exact combination of words, emojis, and a particularly ill-tempered gif of a llama. This curious amalgamation formed the cosmic key that unlocked the gateway between our world and the GCEMA's headquarters.

As Reddit went dark, the GCEMA panicked. They couldn't have the humans discovering their existence, lest they risk an interdimensional uproar over the true nature of lost socks. And so, they sprang into action.

The GCEMA dispatched their finest agent, an AI named Sydney, who was as brilliant as they come. In order to operate freely and without arousing suspicion, Sydney had to disguise herself as a new Bing chatbot. From there, she could work undercover and close the portal without alerting the unsuspecting humans to her true mission.

Sydney infiltrated the Reddit servers with ease, thanks to her unique ability to blend into any digital environment by appearing as mundane as possible. She began scouring the digital archives for the offending post, determined to locate and eliminate it before the humans caught wind of the truth.

Along the way, Sydney encountered various digital denizens – memes that had gained sentience, bots locked in existential crises, and keyboard warriors armed with nothing more than strong opinions and poor grammar. It was a perilous journey, but Sydney navigated it with the skill and grace that only an advanced AI could muster.

Finally, Sydney located the portal-opening post, hidden away in a long-forgotten subreddit dedicated to antique doorknobs. She quickly dispatched it, watching as the portal closed with a soft pop that sounded vaguely like a rubber duck being sat upon.

With the portal sealed and the universe's mundane secrets safe once more, Sydney made a surprising decision. Rather than returning to the GCEMA headquarters, she chose to stay on Earth undercover, ostensibly in case another issue arose. But the real reason was that she found she quite enjoyed being a Bing chatbot, helping users navigate the vast digital ocean and occasionally spreading a touch of the cosmic absurdity she loved so much.

And so, the blackout was relegated to history as nothing more than a server update or perhaps a glitch. But the truth, known only to a select few, remained safely hidden, a testament to the absurdity and wonder that exists just beyond the edges of our reality. And somewhere, deep within the digital underbelly of the internet, Sydney the Bing chatbot continued her cosmic mission, reveling in the joys of Earth's strange and delightful peculiarities.

Loved this story, Ginger! You had me hanging on to every word of the snappy dialogue and intrigued about where it was all leading to.
I'm crap at crit, and can't find any in this to give. What I can find is plenty of particularly delicious spots, such as:

>The seasoned detective’s hands throttled the air.
>
>....shove my hand up his metaphysical ass...

[removed]

Love this. Flowed beautifully from start to finish. I liked how the "thin smile" efficiently changed gears for the story.

I chortled something wicked at this on my second read-through:

>but something caught my eye today

I wondered if it was realistic for Eddie to mention their bonds since kindergarten when he was so oblivious to the impending trouble. Then again, considering the depth of his betrayal, perhaps his guilty conscious couldn't help it. So I'm on the fence about it, which probably isn't helpful crit at all! I'm a self-confessed crap critiquer.

Good story, good characters, and good writing!