An adventurer has been staying at our village for the past few weeks.

It was nothing new. Our settlement was a relatively safe area on the border with the Demon Lord's domain. A lot of travelers stopped by here on their way to try their luck against the demons. We provided shelter and food for them to prepare or recover, and in return, we earned money to keep ourselves alive. It was a good deal all around.

I usually didn't pay attention to the newcomers - they barely ever stayed long enough to bother knowing their name. This one differed from the rest. I see him every morning as I go to the fields, and every evening when I return home. For the better part of the past month, seeing the adventurer sitting on the log, gazing at the village, has become my standard routine.

Every day that passed, I considered stopping by next to him, just to figure him out. I have dismissed that idea. Until now.

"What you up to, boy?"

I had approached him from behind. He didn't even flinch.

"Good evening to you too, Ed." He said. His eyes never left the village before him.

"Ya know my name." I said. "Seems unfair, when I dunno yours."

"I know everyone's name. And their families. What they do, what they dream of..."

"Tha's blasphemy, boy. Ya sayin' you a god or summin'."

I saw a hint of a smile on his usually brooding face.

"You could say that about me, I suppose." He said. "At this point... I just as may well be."

"I'm warning ya. Tha's a one way ticket to the depths for ya."

"...Yeah, I know. Next you'll also tell me to get going or get back, or to stop filling my head with useless ideas and go earn my living."

I eyed him curiously. That's exactly what was on my mind.

I looked towards the sun, now just a sliver of it visible over the horizon. It's last rays of the day bathed the village in the warmest shade of gold I knew. The local church bells had just started ringing, signalling the end of the day. The daily prayer was about to begin. This moment of the day winding down, everyone slowly finishing up their work and preparing for a peaceful evening, was probably my favorite part of the routine. This moment right here, was proof that all was well. All was good.

"This is your favorite moment, isn't it?" The adventurer said. "It's grown on me, too."

I looked back to the adventurer. He was back to his brooding self. Despite what he said, there was a sorrowful look to him as he watched the people winding down.

I decided to sit down next to him.

"Ya sure know a lot." I said. "Ya possessed or summin'? Or a demon?"

"...Just someone observant with a lot of time on their hands." He replied.

We were quiet for a moment. I didn't really know what I was doing there. But I felt like I had to say something to him. And I was just about to when he stopped me.

"This is one of the smartest games I've ever played." He said. "I mean, sure, AI has come a long way, but still... You are the reason I discovered the NPCs here can actually go outside their usual responses."

Now he was starting to talk in complete gibberish. But before I could intervene and suggest going to the priest, he still continued on, not letting me say a word.

"The first two playthroughs I just barrelled through. There's just so much to do in your world. Then I started slowing down, and before I realized, I started taking longer and longer stops, right here in this village. Sort of silly, really. It's just the introductory chapter. But then, when that happens..."

"When wha' happens?" I finally interjected. The adventurer half-smiled again.

"Sorry, I won't say it. Just saying it outloud will trigger it - I did say this game was smart, didn't I?"

He sighed. I was even further inclined to get him exorcised.

"Too smart, for my liking." He muttered. "The first time that I sat down here and just enjoyed this, you broke out of your routine to come talk to me. To motivate me, push me to go forward. It worked - and then I regretted it. So I came back, but ignored you. Apparently ignoring you is a trigger to that as well - just to continue the suffering of players like me, who just want to enjoy this."

"So instead of ignoring you, next time I talked to you, but just didn't listen. That was also a trigger. So after that... I tried avoiding you. But you kept finding ways to come and talk to me despite it. That was the moment I realized just how smart this game was. I ended up both hating and loving the devs for it. A sort of bittersweet moment."

I stopped trying to understand. Instead, I was now praying in my mind to the gods. I needed their protection in case I also got possessed.

"So, tell me, Ed," The adventurer now turned to face me. "What would you do in my position? What words of wisdom do you have for me this time? How will you try to help me now?"

I stopped my prayers half-way when I saw his face fully turned towards me. There was a lot of pain in his eyes. Pain, fondness, sadness... It reminded me of the look people would give the dying elderly. A look filled with love to have known the person - and equal pain to see them go.

What I couldn't fathom was how someone very clearly possessed was making such a face at me. But I also knew there was a choice I needed to make. And I knew exactly what I needed to say.

"Look, boy." I said. "How 'bout you 'n' I go for a walk, eh?"

"...I'm sorry?" He sounded incredulous now.

"Jus' down this hill, to the Church... Father Paul's probably done with the daily prayer, by now..."

"Wait, no, I think you-"

"It alrigh', son." I said firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We all get lost now 'n' again... No shame there. I promise ya - I'll help set ya straigh', you hear? There'll be hope for you yet when Father Paul's done wit ya."

"No, I - What?!"

-----

HIDDEN ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED "I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing..."
Convince Farmer Ed you are unfit to continue your journey.

HIDDEN QUEST UNLOCKED "Benevolence of the Heavens"
Seek council with Father Paul.

HIDDEN CLASS ADDED TO CLASS LIST "Saint"
Class will be unlocked after the completion of the Hidden Quest "Benevolence of the Heavens" and will be available at the Character Creation Menu.

Lmao I really liked this one but I just can’t get over “Captain Man” bc he’s a character from a Disney show and this is exactly on brand for him

Redemption. You love to see it.

Good job.

There is a movie that starts a similar way called Flypaper

Wonderfully written. MORE

Not Sidicate though. Definitely not that one.

Yesss you said hitter and I immediately thought leverage

It could be Sindicate, they're evil and might be religious.

that is almost too good, holy cow.

... Wow I'm more sleep deprived than I realized. I was so focused on the n that I missed the other part. Thank you for calling me on my dumbassery

Syndicate, unless Sindicate is a portmanteau of Sin and syndicate.

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immortal means undying, modern parlance added the unaging portion.

No, I will say, that's also what I had in mind - at least partially. Enjoyable show!

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Kinda reminds me of the TV series Leverage. Although the premise is quite different.

Someone just recently watched Monty Python's Life of Brian.

This is awesome. I love the pickle he finds himself in. It feels like he only staved off the inevitable - sooner or later the thread of lies will unravel. It will probably be glorious. And deadly.

Down in the towns, there's always work guarding the trade wagons for a second son and swordsman from Woodbridge. When the merchants hiring men ask where I'm from, I say, "Oh, it's one of the tiny hamlets up in the hills. We've got a wooden bridge we're very proud of."

And they laugh, and ask where I came by the sword I carry. It's not a peasant's weapon and no minor lord's second son in this province has the funds for a gold-bound hilt and a jeweled pommel.

"It's under the Amnesty," I assure them. "But I don't show it off where the dragon might see, if you know what I mean."

They chuckle, and we all bless the wisdom of the current king's great-great-grandmother who brokered an agreement with the dragon who lives under the hills that nobody would bother his hoard and he'd forgive all the thieves who had dragon-cursed bits and baubles. He's slept peacefully ever since.

Their only remaining question is whether or not I can use the fancy sword. By the end of the trade route, I've more than earned every bonus they offer.

I've had variations on that sort of hiring conversation over the last hundred years.

This time, the man passing me an ale in a town tavern is from Woodbridge.

Reggie is twenty years older than when I saw him last. His straw blond hair has gray in it and he's finally grown that patchy beard out into something worthy of a hamlet's headman. He looks like a rube next to the more brightly dyed townsfolk, but he'd seen me and known me for who I was immediately.

He said, "We've been expecting your lordship any season now."

"I'm told it's something of a family tradition," I said.

He favored me with a grim look. "Afraid not, your lordship. I knew your father. You're the spitting image of him, for all that you favor southern clothes and beads in your hair instead of his northern furs. You'll rule fairly and justly for ten years. You'll reap in the good harvests and lighten our burden in the hard ones. All we can ask for."

"There are worse family traditions..."

"And in ten years, just like your father, you'll wander to the towns again to find a bride and never come back. And in twenty years, your son will come back to Woodbridge. The spitting image of you and your father before you."

We both looked at the sword belted to my side. Sure, the Amnesty says that all is forgiven...

"Lad, your family's cursed."

"Maybe," I suggested hesitantly, "I shouldn't go up to Woodbridge at all."

"And disappoint all the folk waiting for you?" He asked. "I knew your father. I liked him. He was the sort of lord who'd throw a proper party in his hall and then turn out on a cold spring night to help with the calving. Come to Woodbridge, your lordship. The challenge is keeping you there."

..............

We had ten years to come up with something clever, but it didn't take nearly that long. The cure for the curse was pretty obvious: take the sword back to the dragon, fall on my knees, and beg forgiveness for my forefathers' thieving ways.

If only it were that easy.

I tossed the fancy sword back in the pile with the rest of them, shed my human form like a snake's skin, and curled up on my hoard to think.

It had been a rather clever plan to stave off boredom as long as it lasted. I'd be Woodbridge's good lord for ten years, then wander off on the trade routes long enough for the next generation to grow up. Far to the south, there was another tiny hamlet who hadn't yet figured out the connection to the dragon's hoard. Far to the north, my isolated tribe of wanderers would probably blame the local enchantress for my curse (but she'd seen through my disguise immediately and would call on me if something went wrong.)

Unfortunately, I was now stuck in a morass of my own making. If I lifted the curse, then Woodbridge was going to ask some very suspicious questions in twenty years when I didn't age at all. If I refused to lift the curse, I was going to create a diplomatic incident, and the last thing I wanted to do was explain myself to the king. And if I told the truth, nobody was going to trust the dragon they'd thought was safely asleep.

I chewed it over. Literally. Gem-encrusted scepters make excellent chew sticks and I picked out the emeralds between my teeth with my fancy sword afterward.

.................

I walked out of the dragon's lair wide-eyed, dazed, and stumbling like I was drunk. Reggie lent me his shoulder all the way over the wooden bridge back into the hamlet and to my small hall. The hall easily held everyone who lived here, and they all waited to find out if we were throwing a party or singing a dirge. "I take it you saw the dragon," he said as his wife plied me with ale.

I drank deeply. "He's gone back to sleep. Thank the gods. I never want to do that again."

"Did he lift the curse on your family?"

"Maybe?"

I looked around the hall. They were good, simple folk. I couldn't stay here decade after decade. But I could be their good lord for ten years of every thirty, and trust their own headmen to look after them for the rest. "The dragon lifted the curse. And for my honesty, he gave me eternal youth."

I looked around at those good, simple folk living in the shadow of a dragon who slept under the hills and said, "You know we can't ever tell anyone, right?"

Slowly the realization spread. If we told anyone the secret to my youth, we'd have amnestied thieves rolling up to beg for forgiveness (and Eternal Youth). Idiots would be dumb enough to steal from the hoard in order to beg forgiveness. The king would be furious we'd poked the sleeping dragon.

And, well, I was a dragon. I really hoped I wouldn't have to prove again why we all blessed the king's great-great-grandmother's wisdom.

Reggie sighed his acceptance. I said, "Hey, looks like I'm upholding the family tradition after all," and he chuckled.

................

Ten years later when I left Woodbridge and followed the trade routes north, the enchantress fixed me with a gimlet stare. "How many lies are you going to tangle yourself in before you tell the truth?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," I admitted. "But nobody trusts a bored dragon."

Really liked this!

They truly didn’t know who we were.

“Look, I know I’m no Terrible Termite, and don’t approach the property damage levels of the Evil Weevil, but still,” I said to my team after the heroes had paraded us about the city and awarded us with honorary membership to their little ‘League’. “You’d think after three years of villainy I’d have built up at least a passing level of notoriety.”

“You’re telling me,” said the Ancient Aphid, our most senior—and I mean that in the geriatric sense—team member. “I’ve been a thorn in the side of these masked maniacs for going on 35 years and they still don’t recognize me? It’s downright discouraging.”

Our team of five was rounded out by the Gnotorious Gnat, the Furious Fruit Fly, the Calamitous Cricket, and yours truly, the Lucky Louse. We assembled as a villainous quintet a couple years back, ever since then our output had been quite prolific—or so we thought. It turns out that our antics posed nothing more than a mild inconvenience to the heroes of Homefront city.

“I can’t believe this,” said the Gnotorious Gnat. “They just paraded us around the city like we were heroes or something. The audacity! I’m going to have to change my name—I’ve clearly not lived up to it.”

“Oh shut your fuckin’ trap,” said the Furious Fruit Fly. “You losers are too short sighted. Does it chap my ass that they didn’t know who we are? Fuckin’ sure. Ok, you got me. But you’re not looking at the big picture. They think we’re in their group now—we’re under the radar! What’s better than being a pest?” She paused for a response.

The other members of the group were…well, let’s just saw that thinking wasn’t their strong suit. However, I knew just what she was getting at. “The only thing better than being a pest is being an undetected pest,” I said.

“Fuckin’ exactly!” Replied the Furious Fruit Fly. “We can run amok!”

“….,” said The Calamitous Cricket. He kept quiet as his sing-song voice could cave the building in on top of us. If I’m honest, I’m not sure why he ran with us—he could have led his own group of villains. He was that strong. Still, we were lucky to have him in the group, we’d not be in the position we were in without him having almost single-handedly defeated that other troupe of villains.

“What shall be our opening salvo?” Asked the Ancient Aphid. “It must send a message.”

“I say we go to the League HQ and smash all their dinnerware!” Said the Furious Fruit Fly. “That way, when they sit to have dinner they’ll be like ‘what happened to all our dinnerware?’ And then they’ll have to leave to go and purchase more. When they return—this is the best part—their dinner will be cold!” The Furious Fruit Fly let out a villainous cackle.

“Now who’s thinking small?” I ribbed. “That’s not enough. We need to cause some real bodily harm. Here’s what we do. We go into the HQ and we loosen the screws on all of their office chairs, that way when they sit down in them, they’ll collapse and the heroes will suffer injuries, maybe even bonk their heads.”

“That’ll never do,” said the Gnotorious Gnat. “There’s a big problem with your plan, Lucky. They’d have no way of know that it is us! We need something that puts our names on their radars.”

“I thought we were trying to stay under the radar, the whole ‘the only thing better than being a pest is an undetected pest’ thing. Remember?” I said.

“How the heck and I supposed to be Gnotorious if we stay undetected?” He said in a huff.

“Ok ok, what about this?” Said the Furious Fruit Fly. “We break all their dinnerware, but we assemble the broken ceramic in their bunk area so that they step on it when they get out of bed in the morning.”

“Diabolical!” I said.

“Ingenious,” said the Ancient Aphid.

“….,” said the Calamitous Cricket.

“What’s Gnotorious about that?” Said the Gnotorious Gnat.

“That’s the best part!” Said the Furious Fruit Fly. “We arrange the broken bits into our group name. It’ll spell out ‘The Sinister Small Things,” she said as she made a rainbow motion with her hands so we could picture it.

“I love it!” Said the Gnotorious Gnat.

“You think they’ll have enough dinnerware to spell out our whole name?” Said the Ancient Aphid.

“They’re heroes,” I said. “Of course they have enough dinnerware. Buncha prima donnas—can’t expect them to wash a dish.”

“….” Said the Calamitous cricket.

We were all in agreement. Our opening salvo would be one to remember. We’d finally earn our place in the minds of the public and heroes alike.

They would soon know who we were.

“Yeah, they bought it,” said the Calamitous Cricket. “Totally think we have no idea who they are….Yep, still small, scale stuff, I swear they’re harmless, but dumb as rocks. Hey, by the way, let the other guys know to wear shoes to bed next Wednesday….yeah for sure….easiest job ever. Hell, I don’t even have to talk—got these guys thinking I’d level a whole building with just my voice. They don’t know that the sound comes from my goddamn wings haha. Dimwits. I’m worried I might catch stupid by osmosis. Still, it’s nice to relax for once….yeah, you too. Bye now.”

r/InMyLife42Archive

“Shhh!”

“You go!” She giggled.

“No, you!” And she shoved the flowers into her friend’s hands.

“Um, good day, sir,” She said shyly, approaching the hero. “This is for you.”

She presented a shabby bouquet of wild flowers, wrapped with a length of cord. She blushed bright crimson as the young man regarded her.

“Thank you, my lady,” The lad said, delicately sniffing the flowers. “These are lovely.”

The boy took out a choice flower and placed it behind his ear.

“Would you and your friends care to join me, for a little?” He asked.

They joined.

“So, what are you doing later today?” One girl asked.

“Oh,” he said. “Today I am resting. Tonight, I set off.”

“No!“

“Awh.”

“Pooh!”

“Now, now, girls.” He held up his hands. “I’m sorry, we knew this day would come.”

“But, sir,” Another girl spoke. “You can’t leave us.”

“Yes,” The flower giver said. “You can’t leave! We need you! What will come of this little grotto?”

“I am sorry, my darlings,” He said, and he truly was. He had deflowered half of the present young women. “But, there is another grotto. There are more that need saving.”

The lad grew uncomfortable at their protestations and feigned tiredness. He moved on to nap.

“We can’t allow this, girls.” The flower giver whispered.

“No,” They agreed.

They hatched their plan with rapidity.

The young adventuring lad awoke to find his wrist shackled to his bed, his weapons all stolen, and a food bowl and water bowl provided within arms reach.

And life went on, much the same.

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