The relief I felt when all eyes of the expedition left me (a knight) and Clair (a cleric) was refreshing. It had trotted over to Dugot, who lounged on a log, and plopped its head directly in his lap. The Barbarian took a few moments to process what had just happened .... everyone did. Then we were all hit at once.

Dugot: "...! N-now I know what this looks like."

Arms were beginning to cross, chins were beginning to raise, hands were meeting hips.

Dugot: "...! What are you trying to imply!? That I was lying!? Because I wasn't!"

The unicorn rubbed its nose against his stomach before leaning its head to the side and promptly dozing off.

Dugot: "GET OFF ME YOU STUPID HORSE!"

The Unicorn's eyes snapped open with scary alertness and it stood to attention almost as if it were a soldier. Dugot looked to his audience that now either bore raised eyebrows or leaked smugness.

Dugot: "G-ah-ek! I am Dugot the Barbarian! I have 12 wives and 24 children!"

...

Dugot: "Sh-shut up! I'm done with all of you!"

Henry (a trickster): "But no one said anything. (Yet)"

Dugot: "ESPECIALLY you!"

Henry raised his hands in peace and backed away upon the battle axe being drawn mere inches from his face. A cut strand of his hair gently floated downward. Dugot angrily turned and walked towards his horse, however the poor thing must have sensed his agitation because it reared up and ran off once Dugot neared it. From his back, I saw Dugot lower his head as the Unicorn walked to where Dugot's horse once stood. It stoically stared ahead like a noble steed with it's side facing Dugot in expectance for him to hop on.

Oh boy, was he about to blow?

Me: "Hey, Dugot ... you know it's ok if you-"

Dugot: "You guys know, I'm actually awake most of the time, right? You cannot be a warrior if you're asleep all the time."

Jered (a mage): "I mean the unicorn kinda makes it obvious that you don't sleep period."

The group lost it and almost everyone burst out in laughter. Dugot turned around with a crazed look in his eye.

Dugot: "Ha ha, funny Jered. Almost as funny as you forming a contract with Kala the witch to boost your magic in exchange for the first born of your pregnant wife to be disabled when she's due 2 months from now."

Everyone stopped laughing and Jered went pale.

Dugot: "Yeah. Not so funny now is it?"

Piany (a elf): "Jered, you what!? That's my sister! How could you!"

Dugot: "Oh don't act so noble now Ms. "Secretly worships the dark moon goddess when everyone is asleep", you're just upset you couldn't offer the baby to your goddess first!

Pinay pursed her lips. Everyone including myself now were seeming to realize the severity of what he was implying when he wasn't actually asleep most of the time. His eyes latched onto me. I quickly raised my hands and backed into the group to fade from sight. Didn't want to pull the pin on that grenade, knew exactly what he might have overheard, guess he took mercy on me and understood that mine was likely a secret to be best kept. Everyone would likely kill me if he said it.

As I backed away, he began to lay out a secret for every single member there except for me and, surprisingly, Henry.

Henry: ".... wow you guys are messed up." He laughed.

As Henry laughed, as per usual his horribly terrible bad luck decided rear its ugly head. I just so happened to be peaking from my tent when it happened. A Bearhemoth lumbered out of the forest on 4 legs, it's steps deceptively silent despite its large size. It paused behind Henry.

Henry: "Like I mean messed up! Bwhahaha!"

He wiped a tear from his eye.

Henry: "Heh, oh come on don't look at me like that, lighten up! Haha! Ha ... ha ......... There's another monster behind me isn't there?"

As if in response, the Bearhemoth blew his hair forwards with an exhale from its nose. Henry let out a high pitch shriek and ran towards everyone who proceeded to draw their weapons. The Bearhemoth stood up on 2 legs and let out a grueling blood curdling roar as we all charged. ...As Dugot charged.

Both roar and charge were cut short as a rainbow blur tackled the Bearhemoth from the side and launched it into a tree. The unicorn pulled it's horn out of the Bearhemoth's side and took a few steps back, shaking the blood off. The Bearhemoth treated the wound like it was nothing and recovered, now roaring at the unicorn. I kid you not, the unicorn flexed ... its limbs bulked like an absolute unit, bigger than Dugot's or Bert the bull back at my mom's farm.

For the brief second, right before it stood and delivered the first right hoof to the Bearhemoth's face, I swear I saw a look of intelligence and regret on the monster's face before it was sent backwards onto the earth. It then jumped atop of the Bearhemoth's chest and delivered a left hoof ... then a right ... and left .... and right ... then a hornbutt hornbutt left right hornbutt left left left right right right horn right .... you get the idea. The Bearhemoth's soul had long since left its body before the unicorn finally stopped.

You could only hear someone swallow in the silence.

Dugot: "Ya know what ... I'm over it! I like it! Welcome to the group my wittle rainbow blossom!"

Dugot merrily skipped over to the red unicorn with an apple in hand. It had returned to its normal physique. 🦄 It's eyes closed in satisfaction as Dugot fed it and gave it pets and baby talked it.

Dugot: "Who's a good unicorn? You are! Yes you are! Oh um yeah gang, sorry about earlier. None of that stuff with 12 wives and 24 children I constantly bragged about was true. Oh well, no harm no foul right?"

No one responded; atleast not until the unicorn glared at all of us from behind Dugot's back.

Everyone: "Yeah! Yup! Mhm buddy! Just friendly scuffles! You're the best Dugot!"

These were awesome! So funny. I loved cyclops trying to use a sticker. How great. And the extra bigfoot one was exactly how I would imagine he would sound. (I can’t find the “ani” key on my keyboard either, btw)

Infinity - infinity = ?

​

That's it, God's fighting against a mathematical impossibility!

Maybe the clawing thing is equally as powerful

This is a really good prompt, but I need someone to explain how 'infinity' can 'run out' lmao.

I just want to add, I really loved this prompt. Thanks for sharing.

Oh that is freaking clever as hell. The edits make it Star Citizen-lore worthy, too! That was excellently done and now my whole day is a little bit more awesome.

Sorry for the slow response, had to finish my shift and lay down for a bit. This was amazing to wake up to.

There's a tale in Cicada. They say there is a great warrior, hidden away, waiting for the right time to return, for the time when the rains return. And like all good tales, it has a kernel of the truth.

The village is small, little more than a hub for local farmers to come together. Most maps don't bother to show it. Few understand why it is there. Those who ignore the legend assume it was just for the spring nearby.

The name is a reference to the warrior, of course. And the town came up around them, not the other way around. In spite of what the older folks tell you, the warrior has yet to defend this town.

Many wrongly assume the statue in the square is the warrior. A purposely encouraged mistake, to hide the truth. Some who dive deep into the history believe they are the gnarled dogwood tree that has lasted far beyond its time. Another lie I told before we installed the statue.

The town came to be when farmers would see me, checking on my old friend. They'd walk over and start to chat and catch a drink. Soon, it became the place to meet, even when I wasn't there.

They knew a bit, pieced together from my visits, and realized I was visiting a friend, transmogrified long ago. Generations came and went, details were lost or changed. Some were made up. I quit correcting them.

Now, all this time later, I came back, storm clouds following me. I kept ahead of them, but not too far. I was terrified they'd break, or veer off. This land had been cursed, long before, to be a desert. No rain, no water, as a punishment for our actions. It was supposed to be forever. It certainly felt like it had been forever.

But I had done it. I had outdone our old gods. I had finally broken the curse. A storm was coming. Rains to water the land.

Those who knew my goal laughed at me. Why fight for rain when our lands had the water we needed? The spring gave us more than enough.

Each home I passed, farmers were hurrying, boarding up windows and battening down the hatches. As I came through the town, people were panicked, terrified of change. I came to the edge of the spring and I waited. I waited for the rains. I watched them cross the sky.

I had used the stone, all this time, to do my work, to reach my goals. She'd told me to take it. She didn't want any temptation to come back early. But I knew she felt it all. Every day passing, every bucket of water pulled, every plant and person growing from her sacrifice.

As the first drops fell on us, I dropped the stone back in the spring.

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I saw your post up there! Your disclaimer of "Mostly talking heads" kind of made me do that dog-confused-head-tilt thing, because the whole thing was pretty great. You absolutely could have moved that to the main comment section and gotten some good read-throughs. Heck, »I« read it and had this sort of mixed horror/amusement thing going on the whole way.

It's impossible for me to tell you 100% something would or wouldn't "work" as a story. Because I have no freaking idea why anything takes off around here! But I can tell you I liked it, and gave ya an up-arrow.

(Took a glance through your profile-- ohhhh, you're really flirting with being a semi-regular writer! And you're not bad at all, this is readable stuff. Don't stop.)

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Uh, so to me this is also great stuff. You don't need a lot of world building. The important stuff is all there. Captain is just brains and eyes, in a jar. Ship is nearly completely organic now. It does leave a lot of room for own interpretation and ideas, which I actually like.

So don't sell yourself short, it doesn't always have to be a fully fleshed out setting. We get the gist of what's going on, and the gist has been produced in a well-worded manner. Again, great stuff!

If you like this premise, it's very similar to the beginning of the book Spin, by Robert Charles Wilson. It's the first book in a three book trilogy.

Inspired? No. Leave opportunity for? Of course.

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This was so good!

Is it inspired by any particular SCPs?

Simeon sat at the table, tapping his finger on the table as him and the guests waited for dinner.

Simeon couldn't help but feel that something was strange about this dinner, he was aware that Elijah had issues with his eyes being more sensitive to light, but surely that would mean he would wear sunglasses, instead of only lighting his house with candles. Now that he thought about it the symbols carved into the walls, and the... unique decorations were also strange.

But Simeon pushed the question to the back of his mind as he heard Maria speak. Maria: "Hey Joseph, when do you think the detective will arrive?"

Joseph: "I don't know, but we could also ask the same thing about El-"

Simeon: "I am here"

Maria: "Oh, sorry, it must be a trick of the light"

Joseph: "I feel someone should wake up Elijah, he did say for someone to wake him up when you arrived"

Maria: "I will do it" [Maria gets up from her seat and exits the candlelight, her footsteps are heard heading to the door to the second staircase] [The door opens then closes]

Simeon: "So Joe, why does Elijah need to be woken up?"

Joseph: "Oh, it's just that the man is old, and he hasn't been getting the most sleep due to the fear of death keeping him up"

Simeon: "Ah, well he is still strong, I'd give him a few decades of lif-" [Simeon is interrupted as Maria is heard screaming]

Joseph: "That came from the fourth floor!"

Simeon: "Alright, which way is the faster way to get to her?"

Joseph: "I know this house like the back of my hand, follow me!" [Joseph runs into the darkness and Simeon follows]

[Soon they are in Elijah's room, they see blood covering the floor and Maria standing horrified, though they can see very little due to something obscuring the candle]

Joseph: "Maria! Are you alright?!"

Maria: "This can't be real, we were just speaking to him, we were just speaking to him" [Maria is crying]

Joseph: "What do you mean?"

[Simeon walks to see what is obscuring the candle] [It is a corpse]

[It is Simeon's corpse]

Your retransplant has failed.

They said it would take almost fifty years for nature to reclaim what humans destroyed. They said humanity will prevail. They said so much before it happened.

But look at us now, only a year after.

Separated.

Frightened.

Destroyed.

And all it took was taking away our stars. We didn’t knew how vulnerable we were. How deeply fear loomed in our very souls. Who would have know that the fear of darkness wasn’t just one children had?What bad things could happen if we would be just covered in darkness?It didn’t take long after the stars disappeared for humans to turn on each other. First some crazy ones spoke of the apocalypse. Many took their own lives. Then the people turned crazy in this never ending darkness. Killing each other. You could only trust your family. And even then, they changed. Everything changed.

The even the very nature changed. Animals turned to monsters. Becoming more ferocious.The few survivors after the first months were those who adapted fast or had resources horded beforehand.It was as if someone just turned off everything. People began to wonder why it happened. Was it punishment from god? Why take away the stars? And not only the stars. Every advanced technology stopped working. Will it ever come back?Humanity learned fast how depended they had become. Most people where not able to tell how much time had passed. But there where a few.We call them Timekeepers. How would have thought that people with hourglasses would become some of the most important ones in the few reclusive communities that had survived?I am one of them, Timekeeper Raphael they call me. Probably because of my blond hair and handsome face which reminds them of drawings of an angle.My real name though is Raphael Morgenstern. I used to be a janitor at a High school. Nothing fancy, just a job to meet ends.

In a few hours it will be a whole year for me and the people around me living in total darkness. Helping and surviving off of each other. Hunting, cooking, learning together how to live in this new world.I looked up in the sky, wondering if I will ever see the stars, the sun or the moon again.

We all lost so much, and we will keep loosing.

But then it happened.

A Bell rang.

It resonated deep within ones very own soul.

“Awaken and use our power”

And the darkness was gone. In front of me, the stars humanity missed returned. More brilliant and beautiful then ever. Recognizing differences from before. Earth used to have one moon. Now it seemed as if we had three. Blue, red and yellow moons orbiting the earth. And I am pretty sure other stars changed positions as well. Are they the same ones as before? Did earth travel in space?What voice did I hear?

I streched out my hand towards one of the moons.

My hand was glowing.

“Awaken”, they voice said.

“Use our power”, it repeated.

“The age of magic has begun”

[removed]

For anyone who doesn't get it, long pig is human meat :)

[removed]

Scp?

Retransplant for agressive species has always served the council well, the situational disruption for class H and above predator species has always been a transient event. The relative risk of exodus from the world in question has been mitigated through replacement to a known isolation period distance of 300 standard units. The contagion should entirely eradicate the native population of class B predator tool users in less than half of the isolation distance depending on the host species resilience. There does not seem to be a choice as the predator H species is indistinguishable from the more benign native class with exception to photosensitivity. The council will reconsider at one and two half-life of the isolation distance. Council case closed.

It's a strange town and very much for local people, but you've got to admit the butcher has some special stuff.