Recent comments in /f/WritingPrompts
Bean_Juice_Brew t1_jdjq9ss wrote
Reply to comment by DistressedApple in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
Worse things have happened.
mattswritingaccount OP t1_jdjpn4x wrote
Reply to comment by Korra_Sato in [WP] Due to a miskey, HR accidentally hired an orc for their newest IT replacement. However, no one has complained about Goog's work yet. by mattswritingaccount
Fake it til you make it never sounded so good. Now just show em what ya got, Goog! :D
[deleted] t1_jdjpc0w wrote
B133d_4_u t1_jdjpaf4 wrote
Reply to comment by Luk164 in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
And my axe!
DistressedApple t1_jdjp294 wrote
Reply to comment by Bean_Juice_Brew in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
It wasn’t a very good attempt lol
M1chaelLanz t1_jdjmpt6 wrote
Reply to [WP] Having been born with the ability to hear everyone's inner thoughts, you're used to hearing all manner of evil stuff that people don't say aloud. Until one day, you hear someone's inner thoughts, and it's... just the AOL dial-up noise? by CookLawrenceAt325F
March 24th 2000 - Time Stamp 1000 CST
My name is Cal and this is entry number 1290. For all my followers, I finally got my recorder fixed, so I will be able to dictate my days in the field again so you don't miss another epic update! Right now it is almost 0000 hours, despite what my recorder says, and I am peeling back the layers on a new mystery.
The Case of The Dial Tone.
I am still workshopping the name, but this one is big guys. How big, you might ask? Very. It all started this morning after I got my recorder repaired at Hero's Inc. They ruggedized it for me, so I can beat more bad guys without worrying about wrecking it. Anyway, I was standing in line at the bus stop and did my normal thing. Listened to everyone's thoughts. Today there was nothing that stood out. This guy was stressed at work, that woman was deciding if she loved her dog more than her boyfriend. You know, normal stuff.
Once I got on the bus, I was shifting through the different thoughts to find something juicy or criminal in nature, when I picked up a dial-up noise. Yes, like when you tried to connect to the internet back in the nineties. At first I thought I was hearing someone's ringtone or a video playing somewhere. I tried to ignore it, but it kept knawing at me until I asked if anyone else heard the noise. They all looked at me like I was a crazy person. Who knows, maybe I am?
Once the first stop showed up, I decided to leave, thinking there was just something on the bus. A few people came off with me and I focused my powers on them. Each came back with a different thought, except for a man in a plain gray business suit. He was the dial-up noise.
In my entire life, I have never heard a person's thoughts as anything other than words. That is when my investigation began. I followed him for two blocks and he went to an electronics store. He walked rigid with perfect posture, but he swung his briefcase haphazardly like a child without a care in the world. It was strange.
I waited outside to not build suspicion and listened carefully to the cashier's thoughts. He was thinking about his plans for the evening with a box of ice cream and the latest episode of Carney Hallogan until our empty headed man got to the counter.
Finally, someone buys the ethernet cables. This guy likes doing his projects right. "Rewiring the house?"
Dial-up noise. "Never can have too much cable."
"I'll say. That will be two hundred."
Our mystery man paid the cashier and left. He only bought ethernet cables. What was he up to? It drove me nuts, since I usually had something to work with. This guy was unreadable. I knew something was off.
He then got on another bus and went downtown to an auto shop. The weird thing was, he didn't have a car there. He simply went there to buy oil. Stranger yet, I got to see him open his briefcase. It was empty and was where he stashed the oil bottles.
I tailed him all day and night and he never stopped to eat. He went to the bathroom a few times, but that was it. I followed him to a dark warehouse near the port. He has been in there for an hour. I think I will go in and investigate more. Wish me luck guys!
Holy shit! This is day…1291? Right? Either way, it doesn't matter. This guy isn't a guy at all. He is a fucking Android! I snuck into the empty warehouse and saw him sitting in a chair all by himself. I kid you not, he was eating the cable like it was spaghetti and chased it down with motor oil.
crash
No, he's coming. I don't have much time. I am at Henderson's Freight Port, near warehouse five. Send someone. Any hero. Heck even the cops, call anyone.
whirring sound
Hey! Let go of me! Let go…
You were following me. You will be disposed of. Activating Protocol 7746.
Aaaaggghhh–
~End of Recording - No Data Found~
Officer Turner took out the SD card from her laptop and held it out for Jaster to take. They were standing in his warehouse where a lone chair, a roll of cut ethernet cable, and an empty bottle of motor oil laid. Police were outside by the dumpsters, where Cal was split into.
"I'm not going to put my prints on that so you can frame me. Nice try, Lilly," Jaster said.
"Why did you bring me in here?" she asked, frustrated he wouldn't let anyone else in but her.
"You're the only officer I trust to see the inside of my warehouse. I'm giving you a chance to find Cal's murderer."
"Why not let everyone in? With this evidence, we will get a warrant to search this place."
"That's the thing. Get rid of the recording. I don't want any officers searching my warehouse."
"Why? Afraid we will find something?"
Jaster nodded. "Do I need to remind you why I trust you?"
Officer Turner didn't need a reminder. Her husband was safe at home, cuddling with Scruffles. They would end up like Cal if she didn't play ball. She dropped the SD card on the ground and stomped on it with her heel.
"Destroying evidence will make convicting this killer harder. How will I be able to explain in court how I found Cal's murderer?"
"You won't have to worry about conviction. I will handle it. And besides, we are dealing with a robot. Can't murder what isn't alive," Jaster said and began walking away. "By the way, I like your confidence that you will find this robot. You will need it."
"Can I take pictures of this?" she asked, gesturing to the cables and empty oil bottle.
"Do what you need. I just don't want any officers in here."
Jaster left and walked past the cop cars and crime scene tape. Officers were busy on the phone or examining the scene to pay him any mind. If he was being honest, it was a tragedy. Cal was a kid who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. His biggest concern though was this robot had the appearance of a person and the sophistication to stay hidden. He needed to know who made it and more importantly, what it was made for. Every robot had a purpose and this one was no exception.
If you enjoyed this, there is more set in this universe at r/HerosInc
one_two_write t1_jdjmjn0 wrote
Reply to [WP] Last week you found an old sword in a box. When the blade was unsheathed it spoke to you, recounting its history. It declared you bearer of the mythical talking sword of Babel, and that you are bound together until death. Unfortunately, the sword is incredibly irritating and won’t shut up. by DiRumgega
“And oh, man, then it was like strike, parry, roll, and stab, stab, stab!” the high-pitched voice stroke again. Like literally, it felt as if every word stroke my head with the blunt side of her blade. Of course she didn’t care about the surroundings and how people were shooting me dirty looks as I walked through the city. How could I blame them? Everyone hates the asshole blasting music loudly in public and no one could expect that instead of a phone, this time the sound was coming out of a legendary, sentient sword, carefully wrapped in my coat.
“After I was done with them they were all like, completely dead, annihilated. No biggie”, she stroke again and caused a passing man to suddenly quicken his pace.
“Could you please shut up for a moment or at least lower your damn voice?”, I hissed trying to avoid eye contact with the passersby. “You’re drawing attention to us and it’s not something we need right now, don’t you think? Do you want the police to stop us and take you to some underground lab? You’ll get stuck there for another thousand years, just after you finally got out!”
“Underground? UNDERGROUND? Are you talking a dungeon adventure baby? Oh man, you got me so pumped right now. Where is this police you’re talking about, I’m going to fuck them up like you don’t even know! They’re going to tell us all about this underground lair!”, she goddamn shrieked so loudly that even people on the other side of the road turned their heads in our direction.
I stopped and closed my eyes. That’s it, I’m done with that thing. I raised the sword, still wrapped in my favourite coat, ready to throw her into a small alley to my right. Thankfully I opened my eyes first and realised there were a few people standing there, all looking at me. They didn’t look happy.
“What did you say about the force, bitch?”, the man in the back of the group said, staring me down.
“Hey Tommy, could you not start this bullshit again? You spent a month in the academy ten fucking years ago!”, a woman next to him said, shaking her head, with her hand on his arm. “Chill out man”.
She looked at me “I’m sorry for Tommy here, he’s a bit on edge lately...”
“On edge?! You’re gonne know how it feels to be on edge and with an edge 10 inches through your ass in about 10 seconds motherfucker!”, the sword stroke again. No, not stroke, I think it was more of a stab this time.
The group tensed and started walking towards me. Guess they didn’t realise that it wasn’t me who had threatened their friend with bloody murder. Again, not everyone’s accustomed to hidden, sentient swords threatening them from inside a coat.
The biggest one, Tommy took to the front and leapt to me, his fist raised to hit me. I froze, starting at the incoming fist, and then…
It was like strike, parry, roll, and stab, stab, stab! “I told you fucker, you don’t mess with Babel! Now where’s the lab, where’s the dungeon?!”, the sword shouted and I realised she was in my hand. I mean her handle was in my hand; her blade was 10 inches deep into Tommy’s ass.
I looked at the rest of the group - they were still a few steps away from me. It looked like they didn’t move much while Tommy was getting annihilated. It must’ve happened really quickly and based on the looks on their faces they weren’t quite sure what had just happened. To be honest I didn’t really know what had happened myself.
“Huh. Did you just say your name’s Babel?”, I looked at the sword, still in shock, not sure what to say.
“Yes it is, yes it is, friend. Quickly, ask them about the lab. It looks they don’t like talking to swords,” Babel said.
Before I managed to tell Babel that a random group of people definitely doesn’t know anything about secret government labs, a police siren sounded behind us.
Oh fuck, at least now the real police’s here. Babel’s gonna be happy.
EDIT: fixed two typos
[deleted] t1_jdjmh33 wrote
NextEstablishment856 t1_jdjmgka wrote
Reply to comment by Nevadajack87 in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
Maybe when Isildur chopped off his hand, he was like, "Whoa, thanks man! I was really having a bad—" but then he got stabbed, so all that was left was what was saved with the ring. The ring was originally supposed to be, like, really good therapy.
[deleted] t1_jdjmd5z wrote
jnovel808 t1_jdjln1b wrote
Reply to comment by tigertealc in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
If the ring is off middle-earth then Sauron is out a whole lot of power and can possibly be defeated.
ddddyyylllaaannn t1_jdjlgmm wrote
Reply to comment by 25millionusd in [WP] A man struggles to adopt a nocturnal lifestyle for his vampire girlfriend. A woman is heartbroken to lock up her werewolf fiancee every full moon. A child says goodbye to their mermaid friend because the river is too polluted. These are the untold stories of an urban fantasy world. by SomeSortOfUser
One shot. Hehehe
Two shots, that's two shots up your ass. hehehe
Cyno_Mahamatra t1_jdjkpw7 wrote
Reply to comment by Ghostpard in [WP] No one courts death like a human. They eat food that evolved to be toxic, ingest known poison for recreation, engage in potentially lethal sport for fun, and have an incredibly high risk tolerance. On the galactic stage they are feared, admired, and generally considered crazy. by SeriousGoofball
I thought you were referring to that episode where an alien visits Earth and couldn’t see stands
Narutophanfan1 t1_jdjkmzg wrote
Reply to [WP] Just two people sitting on a park bench. No gods or monsters or spies or supernatural elements -- just two people sitting. by IAmTotallyNotSatan
The two were sitting together in silence as they both seemed to struggle to find words. Eventually Tim spoke to his companion.
"Jason, i uhhh didn't think you would come honsently. But thank you for being here. "
Jason turned and looked at the person sharing the bench with him. "I am kinda surprised I came as well."
Tim took a deep breath before continuing. "I just wanted to clear the air. We were friends for so long and I wanted to apologize and hopefully make amends. "
Jason stayed silent letting his former friend continue. "Oh Christ this is hard. I am dying. Probably not tomorrow or next week or even next year but the doctors give me five years maybe 7 tops. And I wanted to start re connecting to those I knew once upon a time."
"I am sorry to hear that. Tim I know we didn't part on the best of terms but I never wished any harm on you. "
Tim smiled a sad smile "that was never a thought that crossed my mind you were always a better person than me. Anyway I will let you go and stop taking up your time. I am sorry by the way i... Took our dreams and dashed them because I saw only dollar signs. " Tim began to get up before a gentle hand stopped him.
"I would also like to apologize in retrospect you were just trying to take a chance you might never have gotten again. Our band had been floundering for years and you saw a way out and took it. I can not fault you for that. "
"Thanks Jason that is far more than I deserve. I will let you go about your live. I am sure you have better things than to talk to a washed up one hit wonder. " Tim once more began to get up from the park bench and walked a few feet a way before turning back to Jason. " I think that old sports bar we used to go to in college is around here."
"I believe it is. The one with the really really greasy nachos?"
"That's the one. Hey how about for olds times sack we go and have a beer? I think there is a game on. My treat."
Jason smiled as he got up from the bench and headed towards his friend. "I would like that Tim. I would really like that."
FireweedPheonix t1_jdjki7c wrote
Reply to comment by SomeWeirdoOnTheNet in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
He totally would. He has no qualms with sacrificing people for his greater good.
Nevadajack87 t1_jdjkb8n wrote
Reply to comment by NextEstablishment856 in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
If he poured all his hate and malice into it wouldn’t he be absent those emotions? Without the ring maybe he’s a good dude?
distracted_disaster t1_jdjjw9o wrote
Reply to comment by AutoModerator in [WP] Last week you found an old sword in a box. When the blade was unsheathed it spoke to you, recounting its history. It declared you bearer of the mythical talking sword of Babel, and that you are bound together until death. Unfortunately, the sword is incredibly irritating and won’t shut up. by DiRumgega
Now, how to kill a sword?
Korra_Sato t1_jdjjlki wrote
Reply to [WP] Due to a miskey, HR accidentally hired an orc for their newest IT replacement. However, no one has complained about Goog's work yet. by mattswritingaccount
Goog was shocked when the email came in. She had been hired for a job she had applied for on a total lark. IT was no place for an orc and she knew it. In fact, out of the magical races, only the Elves and Fae seemed to be able to get 'normal' jobs in the human sector. Orcs, trolls, werewolves, and well, you get the idea, they got the mining jobs or the dangerous jobs where death was a much higher probability. So when Goog saw her application for a nice desk job at Magitek Corp. had been accepted, she almost tossed it out thinking it was a prank.
One phone call later told her it hadn't been. Goog was in fact the newest employee at Magitek Corp. working in their IT sector. The email confirmed she was to report to HR on Monday. Outside of her dark olive skin and fairly sharp teeth, Goog could have almost passed for human had she not been nearly seven feet and six inches tall. Her height had always been an issue, what with doorframes not really being designed for anyone over six and a half feet. Still she was going to put in some effort to try to look as good as she could.
She arrived at her new job promptly. She had dressed to flatter her appearance, but the clothing was also for function as it would allow her to move easily. She did her best to smile nicely as she softly shook hands with the head of HR who greeted her in the atrium.
"Good morning! Come to my office so we can get a few things squared away. Nothing major."
Goog nodded and smiled. Paperwork on the first day wasn't completely out of the ordinary and she followed swiftly. The office as nice, though the chair was a bit small. Goog made a note to make sure she had one for her height.
"So, first off, welcome. I bet you're wondering why we hired you."
Goog smiled at the young Elf. The androgyny of their appearance made Goog unsure which pronouns to use. "Why yes I am. Don't normally see Orcs getting hired in job like this."
"So. Funny story. I was in our hiring software and I was working on hiring candidates and well, no easy way to say it, but a typo put your name into the system and no one caught it before the hiring got filed."
Goog panicked a moment. "Does that mean I don't have a job here?"
"On the contrary. Your CV was flawless for the job. Let's get the details worked out Miss Goog."
Luk164 t1_jdjj1uv wrote
Reply to comment by GroovinChip in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
Count me in
DishOutTheFish t1_jdjirei wrote
Reply to comment by SomeWeirdoOnTheNet in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
Imma dumbass :3
C00lerking t1_jdjiqm5 wrote
Reply to [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
I freaking love this idea.
The HP Scene:
Gandolf to the Dursleys: Is he secret, is he safe? Dursley: yes, we keep him under the stairs.
Gandolf: good. But can you bury him more deeply?
Dursley: well I assumed you were here to take him off to Pigpimple magician world.
Gandolf: bring him to hogwarts? The Horcrux? Are you insane? I might as well march the ring right off to Saruman. No, actually, if we can just kill him here, that may simplify many things.
The LOTR Scene:
Frodo to Dumbledor: the armies of Mordor are coming and Sauron is on the loose. The ring wraiths will be here any day. What will we do Dumbledoor? Should we assemble a bunch of heroes?
Dumbledor: Mudbloods? No need. I’m a real wizard with actual magic. We’re going to take the flue network to Mordor and conjure a patronis right up old Sauron’s butt.
[deleted] t1_jdjihih wrote
JustNick4 t1_jdjh3bu wrote
Reply to comment by SomeWeirdoOnTheNet in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
Reading this on a public toilet trying to hold back laughter! Good one!
Change_is_a_verb t1_jdjgf4l wrote
Reply to comment by SomeWeirdoOnTheNet in [WP] Gandalf and Dumbledore switch places. Gandalf is now running Hogwarts, while Dumbledore is leading The Fellowship. by yax51
Love it! Frodo is a horcrux... 🤷♀️
issuesgrrrl t1_jdjqr11 wrote
Reply to comment by Korra_Sato in [WP] Due to a miskey, HR accidentally hired an orc for their newest IT replacement. However, no one has complained about Goog's work yet. by mattswritingaccount
My dude, I'm gonna need Chapters 2 through infinity! Break room shenanigans! Birthday funsies! End of Quarter reports! That one slob guy from Sales who needs a pointed reminder about keeping his greasy hands to himself...