I don't believe you are a native English speaker.

But given how American politicians behave, I am not surprised at the quality of your school.

LOL

It's an interesting take on the afterlife for sure. Depending on how it's structured, it's a similar concept to purgatory, where in this case you have to learn a lesson, or change your literal mindset in order to grow closer to heaven. Such a good story, I'll be thinking about the intricacies of it for a while!

As expected, nobody says anything at first. Varsiel looks like he's wondering whether he wants to ask a question or fire an arrow first.

"Menee, dear, introduce us!"

Orgah, the Crone, lurches over, blackened teeth bared in what she thinks is a friendly smile. Varsiel is tall even by the standards of the elves, but Orgah still towers over him.

"I think they need a minute, mom," I mumble. "Could somebody make some tea?"

"Oh, I'll get it," Auli says. She hustles off towards the kitchen. My friends follow her with their eyes for a moment. None of them catch a glimpse of what's under her long gown, but they all see the trail of slime she leaves behind as she moves. "Rin, get them comfortable, would you?"

"Oh, no-"

It's too late. Rin's the hardest to explain. As the Maiden, she often plays the role of seductress -in whatever shape that takes. To me, she chooses to look like my birth mother, but she looks like something else to everyone. An object of love or desire, usually. From the look on Vald's face, I can tell he's seeing the wife he lost. I don't want to imagine what everyone else might be seeing. Varsiel is intrigued, but Grimm looks more confused than anything.

"Come in, have a seat," Rin says, in a voice that is different but equally inviting to everyone who hears it. "Any friend of Menee's is a friend of ours."

"Unless o'course you're here to be killing us, in which case we can skip the sit," Orgah says.

"Not today, mom," I say. "Not any day."

"Nonsense. 'Tis prophesied," Orgah says.

Vald is the first to crack. Even the legendary stoicism of the dwarves can only endure so much.

"What in all hell is going on?"

Orgah extends a massive arm and gently shoves him on to a nearby stool before addressing Vald's question.

"Menee, would you rather tell it, or let Auli? She does so love to tell that story."

"I'll let her," I say. I have no idea where to begin anyway. My party members have sat down, but they're still eyeing the witches, and keeping a hand near their weapons. Thankfully, Auli is quick with the tea, and the story.

"Oh, it's a terrible, tear-filled story," Auli says, before breaking into the tale with a smile on her face. "Menee's dear departed mother lost her husband to the plague, then caught it herself just as she was due to deliver poor Menee into the world."

I can't help but glance at Rin as she speaks. I know it's just a fake face, but it's still the face of the woman who birthed me.

"Knowing they'd both die otherwise, the dear girl comes to us and says we can have her daughter so long as we promise her a long and healthy life," Auli says. "And we accept."

"Plenty of uses for a girl 'round the house," Orgah says. "Even if'n ye can't eat 'em."

"Mom!"

Grimm had reached for his sword, only stopping when Orgah laughed at her own joke.

"Ho ho! Ah, Anyway," Orgah says. 'Course, knowing we'd promised to do no harm to her, the Dread King, whom we'd cursed to fear cold iron, cursed us in turn, and said that our child would one day be our death."

"A rather vexing development," Rin mumbled.

"Not much to be done 'bout a proper curse, of course," Orgah said. "Trying to kill the destined child never ends well. If I ever tried to eat her I'm sure Auli would just exchange her with a rock, and then where would I be?"

"With our deaths thus unavoidable, we settled on a course," Rin sighed. "To be kind to the child, so our inevitable deaths are at least merciful."

"Momma, I'm not going to kill you," I say. "I'm not going to kill any of you."

"So you say."

"You're still alive."

"I'd rather ye just get on with it, really," Orgah mutters. "Prophecy is prophecy, and I'd rather ye do it right than drop a kettle on me head on accident."

"There's arsenic in the kitchen if you'd like to put it in the tea, Menee dear."

"Mom! Stop. I'm not here to kill you," I snap. "Aren't you all supposed to be in the Howlingwood this time of year anyway?"

"Dreadful infestation of direflies, dear, you'd know if you came to visit more often," Rin says.

"I'm an adventurer now, mom, I get busy and I travel a lot."

"Oh, an adventurer, are you in Caldwell's Company?"

"Hah! Fine lady, we are the Nereid Avengers," Varsiel said, his elven pride winning out over any fear he felt of my moms.

"Oh. How nice," Auli says. "Are you good adventurers?"

"Surely you've heard of us, we helped liberate the undersea kingdom of Nereius?"

Auli maintained a polite smile with surprising grace.

"Yes, yes, we've done a lot of quests, like the one we're currently on," Vald thunders. "We need a potion of true seeing, have you got one or what?"

"Raspberry or blackcurrant flavored?"

Vald stares blankly at Auli for a solid tens seconds before speaking.

"Raspberry," he sighs. Auli shuffles off to the potion cabinet. Varsiel sips at his tea as she digs through the bottles.

"And what perilous trials must we endure for this favor," he blusters. "Must we gather ingredients from the perilous swamp? Answer your most vexing riddles?"

"Ye can knock a few notches of your ego off, for starters," Orgah says. "And secondly, in exchange for this boon, we must ask you for a sworn oath. A promise to be kept, lest ye face the terrible wrath of the coven!"

Varsiel looks more excited than scared.

"Bring m'daughter back here round harvest time, would ye? There's nettles in the garden something fierce, and me joints ache terribly so. We could use the extra hand."

It takes everything I have not to laugh as Varsiel's face drops. I can tell Vald and Grimm are thinking the same. Grimm actually has to put a hand over his mouth to hold the giggles back.

"I- I swear it so," Varsiel mumbles. "Upon my honor, you shall...have your daughter's help...doing your...gardening."

Even his practiced poise breaks under the circumstances, and his disappointment is clear. Orgah laughs, snatches the potion from Auli as she approaches, and shoves it into his hands.

"I'll hold you to that oath, elf," she barks. "Now, will you lot be stayin' for dinner?"

"Actually, moms, there is currently a demon possessing the mayor of Aullifield, so we really need to take this potion and be on our way," I say. As I stand, my party members are all too eager to leave. Vald and Grimm have noticed the pile of skulls in the corner, and my mothers aren't quite charming enough to overcome the creepiness of their bone collection. After the drawn out goodbye's, I manage to shuffle my party out the door and away from the hut, with Grimm sparing one more confused glance at Rin before the door slams shut.

"Now I see why you don't talk about your childhood much," Vald says.

"Actually, I don't talk about it because it's boring," I say. "They had to raise me happy and healthy. I had tomato sandwiches for lunch and the first book I learned to read was The Very Hungry Linnorm, just like most other kids."

"Ah, but surely your skills as a thief were developed over daring escape attempts from the witches abode?"

"No, actually, they were developed by breaking out of the estates of valiant knights who tried to 'rescue' me."

"Well. Hmm. We're on our way to completing our quest, and that's what matters," Varsiel says. "Vald, lead the way!"

Vald takes the lead, but the journey is much less arduous going than it was coming. Now that the local witches know it's their daughter treading in the Murk, the trip is easier. Eventually the sun even starts to come out, and Grimm relaxes enough to lower his sword and walk alongside me.

"Uh, Menee, if you don't mind," he mumbles. "I did have a question about one of your mothers."

"I don't know what's under Auli's skirt either."

"not her. The younger one, I think? Rin?"

I already know what he's going to ask. Rin showed him what he wanted most. I should tell him to stop, but on the other hand, I could find out which barmaid he's pining for and tease him about it for a few weeks.

"What about her?"

"Why does she look like you?"

It feels right. So very right, with the words being tossed about just today.

It took me a too long to realize you rhymed as well.

Subtle and clever, but surly swell!

- "Bruce could equip the police. Bruce could use all that he learnt to teach the police modern martial arts, and he would be a really good teacher. Bruce could buy corrupt politicians, could buy other politicians and offer them confidential information on the corrupts, or even broadcast them doing things. Bruce could do so much, but his life would be in danger. In way more danger than any of us. That's what you don't understand, and I don't blame you - being immortal, impenetrable, makes you think you can outlive everything, outsmart everyone. You can't" - the caped crusader looks deeply into the eyes of Superman, trying to find understanding. He finds none, but continues anyway.

- "Super-villains are one thing. They are honest in their own way. You know they will try to kill you, in every possible way. I know some that even find excitement on trying to guess how it will be the next time. But there is something far more dangerous than everything we fight" - with a swept motion, he takes the drink from Superman's hand.

- "How do you do that? I can move faster than you and yet..."

- "You're predictable." - he smashes the drink on the table - "..far too predictable for your own good..." - from his belt, he takes a small vial, pouring a single drop into the spilled drink, with caution. He knows what's coming next, so he's already on position to catch Superman before he falls face-first on the ground

- "What... is this?"

- "Kryptonite. But disguised under a drink, magically sealed in a way that it will react with your stomach's biology, so it'll go inside you undetected. You were always weak against magic, that's why you didn't find it"

- "How.... how... did you..."

- "We saved the daughter of a politician today. I was aware of where she was for about a week now, but I had to be sure. It was subtle, but there was a small hint of something on his desperate pleas. Not her, though - she was genuinely terrified all the time. After all this time, I found nothing, but I could not endanger her anymore - it was already too much. But I knew something was not right, and that's why I told you that I wanted us to have a feast together with whatever the politician would offer to us"

- "That's... why... you knew all the time that... he would send something..." - Superman gasps for air. Fortunately, the effects are now only a mild inconvenience - "I still don't understand. Bruce... why fight with that clown? With your knowledge, the world would be so much..."

- "Before you continue with this nonsense" - Batman appears in front of Superman - "If we killed, or incapacitated, the Joker... or anyone, for that matter - people will demand more. Worse people will appear, people that don't regard for the lives of anyone. You know why countries are not destroyed when we fight people that can literally destroy a whole galaxy? Because they know we have a limit. They know that if they behave, they can live. If we kill... what do they have to loose as soon as we capture them? Why should they not just detonate themselves, wiping up the planet in the process, if they will die anyway?"

- "Thats... just one half of the..."

- "As for Bruce. You don't understand. You will never understand. You can't understand. Good for you. But this conversation is over." - Batman simply disappears in the night.

But it stuck a nerve. He walks over that theater, now long gone, under that same road. Superman was right. Bruce would do much better for the world instead of Batman.

Too bad Bruce died when he was a child, together with both his parents...

Thank you!

Not gonna lie, I was kinda going for story responses, so I wasn’t expecting to see a poem, but this is honestly amazing! Very well written, and very interesting. I loved this, especially the last two lines.

Great work!

Yeah I get that I remember being really young and just thinking to myself at night if I should just skip to the end just to see what it was like

This was fantastic! You’re a great writer.

Username checks out.

He smiled, and gave them exactly what they wanted. It started as always with the things that in life would have been considered unrealistically, unattainably luxurious. An apartment, then a penthouse suite. A mansion. Servants, and then ones in every room. Attending to every whim. Slaves to carry one on their backs. Your own chaffeured car, jet, airline. Vacations all year round in all the most exotic locales, and then in ones which didn't exist. He always gave them exactly what they asked for, no monkey's paw twists, fulfillment in both word and spirit.

Their actual spirit, of course, never got fulfilled. Some may take forever to realise, which really is no issue in this line of work. But eventually, eventually, many of them come round.

First of course comes denial. Then anger. Raging at their slaves, their personal fiefdoms. At him who provided their every wish. You didn't fulfill it, they would scream. I didn't ask for this! He would have every patience with them. Yes, yes, they did. He figured out long ago that it was worse if he did not twist and pervert their every wish, but simply let them be exactly as intended. And let them suffer their own consequences, with an eternity of time for that to be played out.

Some would drive themselves mad after a while. Others would scream themselves hoarse, even in a realm where that was not possible - while the body never broke, their spirit could. Some just went through the motions after a while, and became a shadow of themselves. Some grew desperate and tried to figure themselves out of it through cleverness and intellect.

A rare few eventually saw the way, and gave it all up. Always took some time, for those who were coming to him in the first place, but a few actually figured it out, and then their penitence could actually begin.

It was all the same to him, really. He had all the time in the world, and no real preference on how they wanted to torture themselves.

This is Paul.

He is my mailman.

He likes chocolate, dogs, and summer vacations.

and today I am going to spy on him.

Lately, I've noticed something strange. Paul never moves, well—he does move, sometimes, when he delivers me mail. But then he walks away and stays in the same spot. He never blinks, or breathes, he kinda just acts like- Paul. No one else seems to see him, and I've gotten used to his strange behavior. So you might be wondering, how am I going to spy on him if he never moves? Well, he did move today. After delivering my mail, I watched him and expected him to go back to his spot on my front lawn. He didn't. Instead he walked around the corner, into my neighbors backyard. I followed him and hid behind a bush. Paul pulled out a phone-like device and started talking, well, not talking. More like making strange noises.

"Eggu-Ralushika-megaki-cactiulopochtli-Ugge." Said Paul. Similar noises came from the other end of whoever Paul was speaking too.

"Paul I knew it!" I said to him, taking out my phone. "So you are an alien stalking people at their lawn in order to gain information about humans only to use it against us when you take over earth!?"

Paul pressed some sort of button on his Mail-man outfit that I've never noticed. A translator!

"Wow. You're not as unintelligent as I thought. How'd you know?" Paul asked.

"Just a wild guess."

"Welp, seems like I've been exposed, again. On to the next planet!" He said.

Paul spawned some sort of spaceship-like device right in front of him, and just took off.

"Dang it! I forgot to press record!"

We’ve done it boys!

You've inspired me. Light novel work beginning

Try to double space instead of just once for making a new line.

Still gets you drunk though.

[Poem]

The day arrives! Your assignment awaits!

It’s time for the teams to know there fates.

Your future is coming, and so is your class.

The deck with clear cards, practically glass.

Pick a card, watch it change color.

Is it red or blue? Wait, another‽

This one is purple, with etchings of a clock,

and spinning brown spirals that’s pulling y- STOP!

…

It’s calling you into a deeper trance.

With an outstretched hand, “care for a dance?”

NO! STOP! YOU MUST RESIST!

Why stop now when in a bliss?

Black and white, it’s all a cliché.

I think it’s time to add some gray.

Love the shadow warrior perk

​

It was probably the most terrifying sight he'd had seen.

Not because most of his men were dead in battle, but because the hero was standing above him, his sword about to come down. . .

"One moment, sorry." The hero said, taking a large supply of food containing a roast chicken, cheese wheels, and a watermelon from his infinitely large pockets.

"What are you doing? Isn't this the part where you kill me?" Said the villain.

"Kill you? No. I need to like...Revive my health. You understand, right?"

The health bar on top of the hero went all the way back to 100, after swallowing all the food at once. The villain looked up, he had a health bar, too!

"What the heck! This isn't some sort of video game, right?!" The villain asked.

"Ugh. Did you not read the fine print?"

The villain and the hero continued bickering. . .

"The screens frozen! What a bad arcade game! Wait a minute. Are those characters. . . Talking?"

I left it intentionally ambiguous, but with 3 potentials in mind.

1. He sentenced himself, and is stuck in an infinite loop of punishing himself.

2. The initial interaction was God's initial punishment of Lucifer, and he was given a Kingdom to rule. However, it was his own personal hell. He then punishes those he is given power over (which would essentially place him back in the place of being God's servant, by being the tool of God's Justice).

3. Each person going to Hell makes the same request, so they each just become part of Lucifer and are not special, making Lucifer and all that have come before even less special.

i need a full novel like this describing every level of hell and how people ended up there (or at least something kinda like that) because this is an awesome concept

Yes

We’ve all had our fair share terrible customer service lol

Every time I see edgelords like this I feel like Captain Disillusion seeing another green invisibility cloak hoax.

You guys already know the Joker's a murderous clown that's too much for the police. Something like that takes immediate attention.

And before you say something stupid like "then kill the joker," have you ever heard of Joker Gas?

It's a chemical that can make anyone act just like him, and is potent enough to work on Superman. Do you really think the archnemisis of Batman wouldn't have a backup plan? More people die after he's dead than while he's alive.

Back to the post, Bruce DOES donate a bunch to improve things. What do you think "philanthropist" means?