Then his thoughts drift to the other end of the spectrum. What about men like Ra’z Al Ghul? How does Bruce fight him? Joker is a loose cannon certainly, but if you cleaned up Gotham he would still go to Arkham and he might create more doctors like Harlene. How would Bruce stop that? Or what about the things that have always happened where the light Bruce Wayne might generate have happened outside of. The court might be made up of corrupt aristocratic rich and they might be dangerous in a way Bruce could fight, but the talons are a different story.

Bruce Wayne can’t fight like that.

Batman can, but should he?

The only obvious answer? Yes.

Individuals are weak and easily frightened, criminals are creatures evolved to take advantage of that.

Police can only openly identify and prosecute roughly 8% of crimes. Criminals don’t fear the police, they evolve to operate around them.

Batman might only be able to fight 1% of crimes, but he can make the major criminals fear. They don’t evolve to beat Batman, he evolves to beat them. No procedure to stop him, no probable cause to hide behind and no warrant to get. Only to hit where they live and make it hurt.

Ra’z is powerful and driven but crucially he is not after anything that Bruce Wayne’s money can put out of reach. Whether it’s magic or the league of shadows. Bruce Wayne might make Gotham better, but at the end of the day he’s a poor savior. Influential yes, wealthy also yes. But even if you donated every cent of his fortune and liquidated all his assets, the world is fundamentally gray. That’s why Batman must be both.

He wears the mask of the boy who died in crime alley, to do what can be done in the light.

But he remains Batman to do the things that must be in the dark, made all the more urgent by how the light fades a little more every day.

What can I say? I've always been clever.

I mean, one time I picked the pocket of an Elder God. They noticed, they always do, but the slight of hand I pulled made them think some other schmuck was dumb enough to do it.

Last I heard he was still serving his punishment strapped to the ground with an eagle eating his newly regrown liver every day.

Then there was the time I got a king to serve his son up to the gods. His punishment ended up being stuck in a river that shrinks away when he goes to drink it surrounded by trees whose branches recoil when he tries to pick their fruit.

Let me tell you though, this last scheme was truly one for the ages though. I managed to get my sin for immortality forgiven. I mean, tricking the gods into making me immortal was bad enough, but tricking them into forgiving me was the pies de resistance.

How did I do this?

You see, a couple thousand years ago this guy named Jesus got himself crucified to forgive everyone's sins. There were some conditions here though, but small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.

You see, his followers came up with this concept of Original Sin. That is this sin that every human is born with due to the actions of the first humans on Earth. All they needed for this to be forgiven was to be baptized. That's pretty much it.

When I tell you that the gods were pissed when they found out about me using this, I mean they were pissed. One of them is still making the rest of the human race suffer for this.

Meanwhile I get stuffed into this tiny oil lamp. Sure I can come out sometimes, but staying out long term means getting someone to rub it.

Anyway, I can see I'm boring you so I'll let you get back to work. Could you get my neck a bit more? Ten thousand years cramped in a lamp will give you such a crick in the neck.

but doesn't the idea of nothing, nothing at all scare you? you will never be able to feel anything ever again

Doing that to someone else though, is pure fucking evil.

Ahh! That's a damn good one! Love that ending too.

what?

Travis was a mischievous soul who loved to cause trouble, even in hell. So when the devil gave him the power to choose his own fate, he knew exactly what he wanted.

"Give me the power to make the politicians govern us here, in any way they want," Travis said, a wicked grin on his face.

The devil was taken aback by this request. He had never encountered someone who wanted to willingly subject themselves to the politicians' torments, but he was intrigued by Travis's audacity.

And so, Travis got his wish. He was placed under the governance of corrupt politicians who reveled in their power and delighted in making their citizens suffer.

As Travis sat back and watched the politicians govern ruthlessly, he couldn't help but feel satisfied. He relished in the chaos and destruction they caused, feeling like he was the puppet master pulling the strings.
But little did Travis know the politicians' ambition had no end. Their lust for power and control had blinded them to the consequences, and soon their reign of terror turned into an outright disaster.
Their reckless decisions caused a chain reaction that led to the collapse of the entire infrastructure of hell. Fires raged out of control, the ground shook with tremors, and even the devil himself was caught off guard by the scale of the destruction.
Travis was stunned as he watched everything around him crumble. The politicians he had empowered were now causing even more misery and suffering, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
As the chaos continued to escalate, Travis realized that he had made a grave mistake. The devil looked upon the wreckage of his domain and saw that even he was no match for the destruction caused by the politicians' greed and ambition. Travis realized too late that he played with fire by trusting his own fate in politicians.

I hadn't thought of that before. That's a great way of looking at it.

Correction, they just changed the class to Terminated for a short while. I suppose it should have had the same effect as deleting it.

I do remember someone hacking into a random well known scp and spamming ther yt channel for no reason but i dont think it was 682

I don't remember where I learned it. Due to some glitch with wikidot or some hacker or something, 682 was deleted from the wiki for a short while. I saw some memes about afterwards on r/DankMemesFromSite19

3 weeks ago, I escaped prison, washed up on a beach resort & been living quite well ever since. During the day I go to get some food, play in the water, & bask in the sun. I’ll steal some stuff here & there, such as sun screen, cash, & drinks. At the end of it all I just sleep on a beach towel under some trees near a cove. Life’s been good for once, I finally feel things going well, but there’s something bugging me.

Just as I’ve been stealing, I’ve gotten everything I’ve needed & wanted. Shampoo, an egg sandwich, a pencil, etc. Its weird, I was never this lucky when stealing at the beach, I grew paranoid. But just as I pushed it down, the paranoia kept nibbling at me until I finally gave it. One day I even tested a theory out. Just as some lady was sleeping on her towel, I took the opportunity to steal something from her bag. And just I reached in, I thought of a stapler, this surely would disprove my theory, but I was wrong. I managed to pull out a stapler, but not any, the exact one I was thinking about in my head. I reached in again, thought of a pigeon & then pulled out a pigeon from her bag. I let the bird go & looked around to see if anyone would notice. No one looked at the bird. My gut was twisting. I stood up & walked away, hoping I would wake up. But how could I? Was I really dreaming? This must be the longest dream ever! Maybe I’m in a coma! But, it also felt so real, the sand, sun, smell of the sea, & especially the people. But how was I supposed to know?

I quickly ran over to the resorts staff & went to the receptionist. “Hello.” “Oh Hello! How may I help you?” “Im just wondering, could you find my room number? I seemed to have forgotten it.” If this is real, then I mustn’t have a room! “Oh sure! What’s your name?” “Jack, Jack Lee.” “Jack, Jack, Ja- Ah! Here you are!” “What?” “Your room number is 890, did you also lose your key?” “…yes.” “Well here’s a replacement! We’ll try to find your original.” “Thank you.” “Your welcome!” I looked at the key, baffled, maybe someone had my name? Jack is a common name, so is Lee for a last name.

I then went to the room, the one the lady brought me too. It was nice, clean too. I looked around & found a duffle bag & opened it up. Inside was all the stuff I stole, I couldn’t believe it. I even looked around & went to the bathroom. Inside was a toothbrush, the same travel toothbrush I always used on my road-trip heists. I was sure, this was not natural, something was off. Suddenly, a maid came in. “Oh!“ I jumped & looked at the lady & accidentally shot her on accident. Shot her? I had a fucking gun in my hand! I blew some ladies brains out with the same gun I’ve used for 10 years! The same gun with a alligator sticker. I knew something was off.

I dropped the gun & looked over at the dead lady, seeing her laying on the ground with a hole in her head. I grabbed my head to keep it together. “This isn’t real! This isn’t real! This isn’t fucking real!” “It is Mr. Lee.” I looked behind myself & found the receptionist lady sitting on the bed. I grabbed my gun & shot that bitch in the head. But, she didn’t die as the maid. I shot some more, no effect. “What are you doing?” “Im shooting you that’s what!” “Don’t you need a gun for that?” “What the hell do you mean?! I have one right here!” I thrusted the gun forward, only to find it gone. “Pretty crazy huh?” I fell to the floor, unable to make sense of any of this nonsense. “God, you broke way faster this time.” “I what?” With a swipe of her hand, the room rumbled. She began to crack, the room fizzled, & my body felt weird. I tried to stand up again & ask “what the fuck are you?!?!” But she would respo

3 weeks ago, I escaped prison, washed up on a beach resort & been living quite well ever since.

You are now in "The Good Place"! You love your soul mate, who loves you back, but it is an unhealthy, toxic sort of love that neither of you can leave each other for! You were made for each other, to drive each other nuts while all the other aspects of your life is GOOD!

you are assuming Lucifer won't conspire to make it non-alcoholic beer that you can't get drunk off.

link?

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Sorry I disagree with you, I read the prompt as SCP universe/reality is real, we in our own separate universe/reality know the SCP universe as a work of fiction 'the SCP wiki' , the SCP universe/reality figures out that SCP-682 can be removed from their universe/reality by us removing the wiki article in our universe/reality, I never tried to set my story in SCP universe.

Any President in SCP universe/reality would drag some poor sap from UIU in to talk to them, then cut the funding

You’re welcome!

BOTW Link is that you?

Thank you!

We all know the president answers to the SCP. No way politicians would be trusted with decision making. Works better with the Global Occult Coalition who are a worthy rival often destroying the paranormal before the SCP can secure them.

You really nailed the tone of them. I listen to that SCP YouTuber who pretends it's an orientation; within a couple of paragraphs, I heard his voice while I read.

I can only like in the hopes that somebody who does have the authority to act on the request sees this.