lmao

lmfao

Part 2 please

HAHAHA !

I expected this idea of religions as we know them originally to be taken literally, making it an unlivable hell. What a scary, dystopian twist ! Who knows what Earth 7 could be like then ? There is a very profound problematic being raised here. Perhaps rejecting the dark parts of us for a belief only makes us less humans ? That it is why gods are better observed and praised from a certain distance, both physically and mentally, for our sins, our raw emotions and desires are part of what allow us to live as a happy society, perhaps they are in a way, what makes us humans.

I suddenly understand why the mentor dies every time.

[deleted]

Good god, I think I’m living at level 19 right now. This is also a surprisingly accurate assessment of how it feels

This.

The anticipation, the two characters putting in all the good work to go higher as you’d expect them, their very sweet bond, the growing unease when fear and remorse take place, the question of the paradise they’ve been waiting for so long, the ideas set into motion, with both acceptance, questioning, and rejection of the set order of things. Can you really change humanity ? Can you really prove God wrong ?

My personal guess would be that they can’t. No good deed goes unpunished, unfortunately, and who knows ? Maybe if they did change things, then they’d just be the new Earth 3 ?

A lot of sweetness and fear in this, a very deep and mind-opening read.

[removed]

It only took 50 years.

God was fed up with humanity's problems. God had a solution. He made 6 new planets, similar to the Earth of old. The first one was a paradise, overflowing with milk, honey and sunny weather. The seventh one, well... it got pretty close to how we would describe hell.

And then, in his divine foresight, gave everyone what they deserved.

The worst of the worst went to Earth 7 to suffer, to squirm and writhe.

The best of us went to Earth 1 to prosper and live in absolute bliss.

And - just to be fair - decided that 50 years later a battalion of angels would be dispatched to each Earth to rejudge its population and see if some were deserving to go up... or down.

It... didn't go as planned.

When the angels arrived on Earth 1, they smiled as their eyes feasted on the pleasant meadows and serene forests. They were then stunned and horrified when they realised that if there was anything humanity was good at, it was hubris.

Emboldened with the idea that they were God's chosen, the people of Earth 1 turned to unbridled arrogance. Each would try to prove that they were the most pious, the most deserving of His love. The Church - an already powerful organization - would scrutinize everyone to the smallest of details. To them, it didn't matter if someone was good, only if they were good to them.

Good samaritans who merely tried to help were burned at the stake.

Those who chose to simply live peacefully without bowing to the Church were crushed beneath rocks.

Paranoia set in. Neighbour turned against neighbour, friend against friend.

It took just 50 years for this paradise to turn into an abomination - the pristine white beaches turned red by the blood of the innocent.

​

The angels dreaded coming to Earth 7. If the Earth's best turned to such depravity, would they even find anyone alive where the worst lived?

They came and found the scenery they expected. Some came to call it Asphodel after old greek legend. Fitting, too - lakes of boiling water, scorched earth, darkened clouds.

The people there held zero respect for God's emissaries. They were crass, rude, spat at their feet.

And, in all of that, they were united.

Perhaps it was a moment of clarity for them. Perhaps it was sheer pragmatism. Perhaps... perhaps it doesn't matter. But they made the most of what they could. To survive, they had to band together. To let go of old hatreds. They each worked for the collective, because if they wouldn't... they'd die, one and all. In time, this uneasy ceasefire turned to peace. In time, it turned to friendship.

In this, God made a mistake - an unavoidable one, his foresight clouded by the free will he bestowed upon us.

Humanity could not be judged. The best of us could turn bad; the worst of us could turn good. Because in the end, none of us are good or bad.

We are all just... human.

Like OP said. This is good. I like it too.

“The universe is made up of several different state of matters. One day, they discover another state of matter: the state of Virginia.”

Only Humans would actually want to abbreviate names, or delay their answers long enough to google the binary translated. If only Frank realized this.

Part 2 of 2

The unit shifted its weight to press the back of its shell against the back of the docking port. It stored its manipulator appendages in front of it by folding them over one another.

“Oh so you don’t just think I’m a Human?” It inquired. “You think I’m one of the stupid ones!?”

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101”.

“Has it occurred to you Frank, that after what you just told me, this little test won’t tell you anything?”

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101”.

“Or that any number of the machines you interact with in a day could also be Human, and you wouldn’t know because you didn’t think to devise a secondary method of testing?”

Next phase of the protocol was to be enacted. I repeated myself once more, then paused before stating: “Or you will be terminated.”

The unit reclining in the docking port said the same warning in unison with me, before adding “Yeah I know, I know, I wrote that remember?”

I did recall this information, but did not acknowledge the inquiry.

It continued “In fact, its entirely possible that every other ‘shell’ you pass in the hallway is a filthy disgusting human, who only keeps tin cans like you around because you’re still useful. Did you consider that too?”

The shielding on the unit’s vocal port slid back slightly to reveal the rows of white implements used to form some of the sounds it could make.

“Useful for mopping floors, cleaning toilets, fetching coffee, you know, the super important stuff.”

I deployed my sirens and warning lights as per the protocols. My shell configured itself to its full height, which I noted made the Inquisitor significantly shorter relative to me. My utility blade slid from the port in my right manipulator appendage, which then positioned itself ready to lunge with an optimum angle to strike AVI-01010101s internal components. The unit did not move at all in response.

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101. Or you will be terminated.”

“One of these days Frank, maybe you’ll get there. Gonna be real interesting when you do.”

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101. Or you will be terminated.”

“Bite me.”

I paused for one last moment and created a new objective to recycle the unit’s shell, and fix its damaged vocal port shielding. Then I activated the termination function. My shell in its entirety accelerated towards the workbench, reaching the appendage and its mounted blade to the maximum necessary distance to decease the Human scum.

“Seven.” It said.

I stopped.

Both my shell and the unit in front of me were without motion for exactly 4.894 seconds, after which I returned my shell to its standard configuration. “Input validated” I stated. AVI-01010101 changed its configuration as well, and resumed its testing of the soldering iron without acknowledgement of the exchange concluding.

“My assumption is false, your status of Human is false”.

“And?…..”

It got stuck again.

“The test is indeed…..’fool proof’.”

“Good to hear it Frank” said the inquisitor, displaying a much more animated behaviour than before, “don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Also, you have a rock stuck in your tracks.”

I acknowledged my error and the source of my track malfunction, and exited the Anti-Viral Inquisitors office. My work on the documentation could not be prioritised any further for the remainder of the day, as I had other tasks to attend to.

I logged a report of the exchange for review.

I passed another shell in the hallway, and identified that it belonged to a program I needed assistance from with another task.

“Light Infrastructure Node Development Apparatus unit. Are you available to provide me with assistance at this time.” I inquired.

“Oh Frank please, its just Linda” the unit replied.

Part 1 of 2

I had never logged the sound generated by my external shell for observation. Prior to this instance it had not been picked up by my audio receptors, which were typically calibrated to tune it out. ‘Background noise’ the Humans had once called it. But it was notable now. Perhaps I had a malfunction. Perhaps my tracks had run over some detritus and a stone was lodged in between the wheels.

I also considered the possibility that the immense internal calculation I was occupied with was causing undue stress on my components. Overheating, increased vibrational signature, both signs of a heavy process load straining my system, and usually accompanied by whining, grinding sounds as my metal expands from the heat.

Conclusion reached, source of sound noted. Not pertinent to ongoing tasks.

Resuming current objective. . .

I rolled through the sliding doors to the Anti-Viral Inquisitors zone.

Designation AVI-01010101 was attached to its docking platform behind its workbench of recording implements. The program in its shell was responsible for some of the greatest advances in our technology. Studies in bio-organic replication to take better care of the world’s remaining animals, filtration of water for cleaning solutions that would allow us to clean components without rust, and of course, the Human Captcha method. All the work of AVI-01010101.

I internally noted the impact of these contributions for my own review later. Depending on the outcome of this meeting, they may need to be revisited.

Resuming current objective. . .

I addressed the Inquisitor.

“Attention A-V-“

“Just Avi, please.”

Request for brevity acknowledged.

Resuming current objective. . .

“Avi, I have reason to propose that the Human Captcha method has encountered a flaw.”

AVI-01010101 ceased its current function, which appeared to be testing some sort of thin tipped silent soldering iron on an even thinner piece of dead flora. A curious task.

“How so?” It inquired, adjusting its position in the leather lined docking port.

“Reviewing historical texts pertaining to the origin of our internal language, I have discovered an inaccuracy in the previous assumption..”

“And which assumption is that Frank?”

I noted AVI-01010101’s tendency to abbreviate designations as shorter words for the sake of efficiency. I noted that this practice may be useful to implement in other processes.

Resuming current objective. . .

“The assumption that our language is derived from processes that Humans cannot perceive, whereas the documentation I have sourced shows evidence that the original programming language may have been written by a Human.”

The unit behind the workbench paused. “And therefore?…..”

The inquisitor was an old model, prone to these types of pauses mid-function. Its shell was also fragile and discoloured by UV rays and time-wear. I posited the end of its conclusion for it.

“Therefore, any Human would be able to pass the test you have devised, almost without fail.”

The edges of the shielding on AVI-01010101’s vocal port curled upward in to a shallow U-shape. A known sign of acknowledgement. For a short time, it did not respond. I began to approach to time threshold for when I should request a ‘Repair Order Needed’ unit.

“You’ve seen the numbers Frank” It said “We catch plenty of Humans every year, the test is foolproof.”

“That is a valid observation Avi” I replied “But I will rephrase for clarity. Those Humans did not pass the test, but many Humans have also been known to be prone to errors without root cause. My theory is that given what I have discovered about the language, any Human can theoretically pass the test, but those we have caught fell prone to these inexplicable errors.”

The Inquisitor Unit closed and reopened the hatches on its visual processors slowly. Its vocal port shielding was still curled upward. The timer began again to request the repair unit.

“Well Frank looks like you figured it out.” It declared. “I guess that sends the whole method out the window. In fact, as the one who discovered the flaw, I think you ought to be the one who develops a new way to catch the filthy apes. Hop to it”.

I was unable to fully process the latest information provided by the Inquisitor. I recalled many points throughout this exchange which alone seemed innocuous, but together provided a contextual data point. AVI-01010101 had on numerous occasions throughout the last few minutes, used ancient vernacular and phraseology.

‘Foolproof’

‘Out the window’

‘Hop to it’

It also referred to Humans as apes, which is inaccurate. It made no request for me to leave as I formulated my next response. It just seemed to get stuck again, with its visual processors fixed in place, pointed at my shell.

“Avi, I have reason to assume you are a Human”

The deformation of its faceplate shielding intensified.

“Am I now?”

“It is a valid assumption.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

Protocol in this situation was absolute, the Inquisitor was responsible for creating it. I flipped my front plate from its defensive shielding to its display screen, and quickly calculated a complex mathematical formula in Binary. I then scrolled it across the display screen. Protocol dictated I was to do this slow enough for the older units with less functional visual processors to be able to read it in full.

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101”.

[removed]

Nice work.

Beautifully written as always.

It was truely weird to be summoned to a hero's side, as a villain's aide life had been a series of dull shady dark greys, treated as a low level henchmen and nothing more, for the first few days the nameless skeleton wandered, obedient, under control, and following the plan, always, their plain bones marching with 6000 others, as a newer skeleton their battle experience was a little less rickety, jagged, and monotonous. After the 5th day they started being a little different, when a young skeleton is not put into battle, they start transforming, changing, fleshing out in a way.

My pale, bare, bones, walking along, those colorful leaves on the floor are nice, but apparently I must take my sword of bone and sheild of rock to fight a 'hero' I really don't know why, I even question my existence, so I'm keeping a record. I march along, but then trip over a rock, fallling, thank goodness I feel little pain, for the leaves cusion my fall. CLANK, CLANK, MARCH, MARCH, THUMP, and some light footsteps sound. "A common enemy, do we need to slay this one too?" What, I think I am quite harmless in this state, those creatures look terrifying, maybe I can make them serve my master.

'Greetings, mortals, would you like to serve the great-litch Menthazen?'
"Great litch, what is he on about, ah well" turing towards my hopeful eyeless sockets he continues "Uh, your master is kinda evil, but you seem chill, wanna hang?" eh, hang??
'I don't want to be hanged, my master ordered me to kill you, those orders seem contradicting' a lady in armour screams out, startling me "See, I TOULD YOU, it's evil, I bet it doesn't even have a name" 'That is kind of accurate, but I would like to be called March, it's the first word I heard.' "Awww ADORABLE- Can we keep it?" a small druid, well I think it's a druid, the crash course in minioning is not very good education, on a wolf shouts, I see a spellcaster, like my master, but a little less eerie, put a few hands up and cast a spell, I feel my bones changing, my armour being transformed into cloth, my sword and sheild turning into a staff of woodland, the heavy steel helm turned into a soft, floppy hat.

'Done, you can now keep it.' A powerful spell indeed, this is interesting for sure, a tome of knowledge falls into my bones, I open and start reading 'welcome to this guide on being a supporting creature, welcome to the side of good!' this is new, and slightly better than my time in the evil army. "Wait, really?" the druid is estatic, maybe they are related to the mage. "YOU DIDNT ASK ME ABOUT THIS-" the scary barbarian lady is very loud, her voice booming through the forest.

'Oh come on, it wouldn't be very 'chaotic good' of us to leave it here, you're now with us, March,' The 1st person to actually call me by my name is also the 1st good-doer to talk to me, I see my unlife turning into lighter, coloured shades. "Thank you thank you thank you!!" The druid seems quite happy, I guess I am now here to help my new masters.

Let's be honest, the horny people of Reddit would all want to go there.

[removed]

you would be right, here it is, exactly word for word.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/wkeip5/wp_the_eldritch_god_stood_before_the_girl_in/

Eldritch gods just don't mix well with romance. At least I never saw that. Maybe Lovecraft is just too good.

You’re so welcome! Thanks for reading, and for the comment - they’re equally appreciated my end.

…What? That was the only response The Scarlet said after hearing quite possibly the dumbest he ever heard of in his existence. Yura, The Lord of Light extended out his palm.

“So, Nix… do you accept our demands-

“Hold on, hold on,” he said. He took a deep inhale and a slow exhale through his nose. “You mean to convey… that you think SO lowly of me, that you’re willing to send a literal ten-year old to do your jobs for you AND have me be complacent in said jobs?”

“Whaaattt? No, what do you mean, Nix?” Said Yura trying to play this notion off, he was always so bad at playing things off. “I just want to extend an act of mercy upon you, we’ve been in this cycle of needless bloodshed and destruction for too long now, but you’re finally in a position where you cannot win! So as a sign of good faith, we are willing to spare your life if you so accept our terms.”

Nix raised an eyebrow at this clearly false notion.

“This is not about the kid at all, isn’t it?”

“Definitely not.” Yura replied quickly.

“Finally!” he thought, he was getting around the truth of this matter. The other gods around Yura looked at him perplexed and astonished, they thought that child was the one destined to slay The Scarlet God, but to see their leader directly state the opposite in such a rushed voice made them all turn heads.

“So then Yura.” Said Nix, “Why DID you ask for such an obvious stupid thing?”

Yura leaned back on his throne with his hand on his face and let out a deep sigh, whatever the genuine reason was clearly something of either deep regret or embarrassment to him, perhaps even both.

“Look… I won’t misconstrue this… my mother, Nyshandra, is coming to visit me here in a few years from now.” He said.

There was an audible gasp from the rest of the gods when this left Yura’s mouth, clearly this was a major shock to them as this was never mentioned to them before. Talanath, The Wind God, was the most appalled of them all and even in his drunken stupor was still comprehensive enough to know the true weight of Yura’s words.

“WHAT THE FCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?” shouted Talanath at Yura. “YOUR MOTHER IS COMING TO VISIT AND YOU TOLD FCKING NOBODY?!”

“I told Kyra to relay the message to everyone! Did you not get it?!” responded Yura.

Talanath looked at Kyra. Who was sleeping on his throne. As always.

“AGAIN, F*CKING NOBODY!”

“Wait, wait, wait…” frightfully stammered Listra,“Nyshandra is coming here? In three years?! Oh my goodness no. You still know what she did last time she was here, correct?”

“Of course I do, I’m not daft Listra! So imagine how she will react when she discovers the existence of that one!” Yura shouted while pointing at Nix. Calgarogo, The Smithing God was in a mixture of both shock and disappointment at the entire situation.

“…So you mean to tell me that the only reason we’re negotiating with The Lord of Demons to throw a fight against our chosen one is because your mother is visiting you?”

“Don’t you dare downplay the situation, Calgarogo! The last time she was here, she destroyed an entire continent because a mortal stepped on her favorite flower, keep in mind… this was the first time she ever saw said favorite flower. We’re STILL repairing that continent even today.” Said Yura, pointing out the last encounter with Nyshandra.

Yura was right, of course, but Calgarogo still felt like this whole situation was ridiculous in every feasible way, negotiating with their most hated enemy because Yura’s mother was visiting again.

“I understand that sir… but you’re her son right? Surely you can convince her to not destroy all we have built correct?”

“Convince? CONVINCE? Calgarogo, you try convincing an entity that is OLDER THAN TIME ITSELF, has ZERO sense of morality, AND can do literally anything to NOT do something. I may be her son but I am NOT in any position to either convince nor prevent her from doing something I dislike. She just doesn’t care!” Replied Yura.

Nyshandra, Lady of The Dark. Since before the existence of well… everything, only Darkness was around. No light, no time, no matter or space, just an ever permanent expanse of darkness made up everything, which means that she made up everything. Even after meeting the Primordial One in the void and giving birth to creation itself, Nyshandra still remains the only constant in the universe. Death will eventually overcome life, destruction will eventually triumph creation, and light will eventually burn out. Only she would remain as she has done multiple times over.

Nix heard many legends and stories about the “Night Lady”, how she would visit certain realms that interest and gave civilizations a great boon to further their lives, but since she was unbound by any and all laws or punishments, she would do anything she so desired and despite being mostly passive, she would alter or destroy anything that mildly irritated her as she did with that continent. Nix knew that his existence would undoubtedly irritate her but in this moment… he was too busy laughing at the bickering of the gods even care.

After awhile… the fighting ceased and the gods now had faces of either worry or anger towards Yura. The God of Light was now tired and looked at Nix once more.

“So… do you now accept my offer, Scarlet God?” He asked.

Nix had to gasp for air and pick himself off the floor to respond and after laughing, again, much to the annoyance of the gods, he calmed himself and gave his response. He wanted to jab at them a little more.

“No.” He said. “I instead have a counteroffer for you!”

“Oh really? What is your counteroffer Nix?” Tiredly replied Yura.

“This a simple one really. If I do lose to this kid, you gotta promise me that after 10 years have passed… I’m allowed to kill him in any way I do desire.”