for easy reference, here's the link to the series: https://www.reddit.com/r/TregonialWrites/comments/11tkt9w/eldritch_god_elvari_series/

Part 8 is that Tinder prompt.

I'm chuffed you caught the reference, even though I didn't link the earlier prompts or used any familiar names from the series. :D

There are a few other references to other prompts I've sneaked in too, hehe.

I... want to erase my memory... after reading this

Such a good mage. Working for the good of the poor people

Part two is up, it's kinda short, but this is the middle act and I don't want to rush the final.

Part 2:

N'gzaaark watched via scrying glass as his Elite Legion, his personal guard , broke ranks and ran screaming from the Hero. Normally he'd be apocalyptic levels of furious if that were to happen, but he had briefed them on what he had wanted them to do, and they did not disappoint.

Their Prime went especially above and beyond, hamming up his performance as he ran shrieking from the Hero, putting all of his skill as a grandfather to use.

His 73rd Legion was pure slapstick as they fled the Hero, leaving the way into his Fortress of Malicious Intent. Nodding in approval, N'gzaaark did one final check on Della and her Cohort as they worked to draw Silph the Wise along with his allies among the Church of the Old God into a trap.

Seeing that everything was well in hand, N'gzaaark deactivated the seer stones and stood up from his desk. He had to get ready to meet the Hero.

To be continued....

And I've seen it on an Instagram account.

##Skeletal Casus Belli

"Come fair people." Deitre held my right arm gently in his hand. After he pulled it too hard before, it popped out, and I didn't want that to happen again. A group of humans gathered around us. "I have been able to get this foul creature."

I didn't think I was that foul.

"To renounce."

Who told him that I had that problem? Was it my wife?

"His wicked ways."

What? I didn't believe what I was hearing. I pulled my arm away from him and backed up. He held out a hand.

"No, it's alright. I'm here. Don't be afraid," Deitre said.

"I have good reason to be afraid. You're always coming down and attacking us," I replied.

"What is it saying?" a person in the crowd asked.

"Nothing threatening. It's scared."

"I have a name. I told you my name. It's John. I thought you could understand me," I said.

"It's snarls are quite threatening," someone else said.

"I agree. It only knows how to snarl from it's animal like instincts," Deitre said.

"But you understood me earlier. Why are you lying?" I asked.

"It seems angry."

"Calm down." Deitre held out his arms. He bent down and whispered. "It's all part of the plan."

"Plan what plan? You told me that we were going to work out a peace deal." I pointed my hand in rage. Deitre drew his sword.

"I'm warning you," he said.

"What is going on?" Those were my last words. Deitre swung his sword and destroyed me. He chanted over me to ensure that I was never revived.

A woman walked next to Deitre.

"I told you that you were being too naive," she said.

"I thought they were animals. I didn't know they were this evil," Deitre said, "He was going to betray me."

"Exactly, the skeletons will always attack us. They want our life force."

"We must strike first so they can't do it to us."

"Agreed. Let's prepare to strike at dawn."

Well done!

This is really amazing, wow! Honestly, I'm not even try to write something now, you won the internet for today!

"Kids, you could spend a week and eighty coins turning that princess into a frog, or you could opt for the snake. It's not nearly as romantic, but it's a helluva lot cheaper," I said.

"But, knights don't expect a snake!" one of the kids cried.

"Wouldn't you say the princess deserves better than a knight who would thumb his nose at a perfectly good serpent?"

The students shook their heads as they always did. Well, except for that one kid who got it. The one who realized that there was an easy way to to the top in life, doing as little work as possible, undercutting the competition, and still coming away with more net coin than anyone else.

She was staring at me, but it wasn't the usual stare - eyes full of greed. No, these eyes were inquisitive, full of curiosity. She wanted to know more.

I dismissed the class and she came up to me.

"Name's Ambrosia," she said, putting out her hand as if she were an accomplished mage. I was reluctant to take it, instantly suspicious of the girl. It was only the first day of class and there was time for things to go awry.

"You know who I am," I said.

"Yeah. You know, I've read all your books..."

Now, this was startling. Truly something spectacular. Most of my star students still had to be encouraged to even pick up Basic Spells on the Cheap, and then getting them to read You Shouldn't Cast That was often impossible.

"Yes?" I asked, intrigued, expecting a question of great depth.

"You're wrong about the snake," she said.

What I had read as a curiosity in her eyes had turned out to be animosity. I was affronted at once. "No I'm not," I said with confidence. "I've converted twenty-three princesses to snakes and turned a profit of over a grand. The frog guys have pocketed two-fifty at most."

"You've made an assumption about your profit, and they're all smart enough not to tell you that you've been making less all these years."

Rage flowed through my veins and I thought of sending the girl away at once, but I held onto enough intrigue to hear her out.

"Go on."

"First, it doesn't cost eighty coins to cast Transfiguration: Frog. Do you know that mage's guild you refuse to pay membership fees for? It grants them access to an underground market where the ingredients are cheaper. It's thirty coins to your twenty, so long as the customer agrees to keep the price secret. Second, they've got three times the customers you do. So they're really turning more profit."

I shook my head. This was impossible. Lies. All of it.

"How do you know this? And why would you let me in, if they're all in on it?"

She looked shaken, almost as if a tear were to come to her eye.

"Because..." she started to whimper. "You turned me into a snake, and I hated it. Hated it, hated it! I wanted to be a frog. Frogs are nice. Frogs are cute. So I vowed to find you one day and get you to stop."

"Oh..." I looked away from her, thoughts running through my brain.

I concluded that I needed to re-evaluate my profession.

r/StoriesToThinkAbout

I thought this meant a mage that specializes in budgets.

[removed]

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

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that's almost 2 million years

1902587 years, 189 days, 10 hours, 40 minutes (minus 0.006 seconds)

I love it! Thanks for writing! :)

Just the right amount of stubbornness in Ben’s character. Satisfying read with a solid conclusion. Well done!

You couldn’t help but smile, you loved your job and all the loop holes that you had created. Modern technology has made it almost too easy. You pull out your tablet computer and present the woman with your deal all written out in an electronic document. She pours over the document carefully reading it out loud…

“In return for the immortal soul of Olivia Jordan, 0livia Jordan will gain the servitude of Kwresteren third prince of the second ring of pride for the rest of 0livia Jordan’s life….”

Olivia reads through the rest of the documents having skipped over the fact that the one gaining his servitude was 0livia spelt with a zero and a one and not a “O” and and “L”. Someone who didn’t even exist.

Olivia digitally signed her name and the deal was sealed! You laugh heartily as you poof in a cloud of red smoke. Which was odd…

Before your great frame stood a girl no older than three. The girl smiles with her prominent dimples and waives at you, “Hi mister smells like eggs! He... he… I’ll call you Eggbutt.” Confused you look around as you are in a bright pink travesty of a room filled with doodles and dolls. The girl in front of you is wearing a stained pink princess nightshirt.

“My name is … Eggbutt!?!” You are unable to correct the tiny lady standing in front of you. It feels like what she has said was… binding?

“Hi, Mr. Eggbutt I’m 0livia and my mom says to make sure you spelled with a sea-0h and a un. That is because I am special and my name needs to be un….un… unique.” 0livia starts to bounce around and ask so so many questions…325 of them to be precise. As per the contract you are bound to answer each and every one to the best of your ability. “Why is the grass green? What’s your favorite color? Why do you smell like eggs Mr. Eggbutt? Why does mom need her special juice that I cannot have cause I’m not old enough? Where do babies come from?”

Sounds like Harry Dresden. Especially in the early books.

wow. you are good.

Everything was going fine and normal in the inky depths of the Deep Void. Imps were making their daily commute to earth, rookie daemons were picking new witches to posses, and Yahweh was still throwing rocks at the earth, hoping that Jupiter wouldn't intercept them. Zazyn, however, was panicking right now. He had been mostly forgotten for millennia, and was still very much enjoying the luxury of an early retirement, slowly eating away at his bank account of souls until he decided to start his career back up in a couple centuries, but it turned out that Fate had different plans for him. At three in the morning, (because apparently humans think all Devils are insomniacs,) his phone had started buzzing like crazy, and when he rolled over to check, the last thing he expected to see was a "New Follower! :3" notification from the universe itself. He quickly jumped out of bed and threw on a fairly nice suit, had all the necessary info faxed to him, and took off running to earth. As he bolted across the Ethereal Warp, he went over all the necessary information about his new High Priestess. "Eva Newing, 19 years old, lives in LA," he muttered to himself. "Because of course the only new daemon worshipper would live in LA. Satan's asscrack, who the fuck even worships daemons anymore?" As he approached the portal, he tried to pull himself together into the proper "high-and-mighty" deity that he is. He took a deep breath, and stepped through the portal. The first thing he noticed when he walked through was the smell. Contrary to what he expected, it smelled nice, which meant that it was definitely not in LA, or at least not the city proper. That was good. It meant that his new priestess at least had the common sense to summon him somewhere secluded. The second thing he noticed was all the candles. "That must be why it smells nice," he thought, before looking down, and seeing a truly grisly sight. He was standing in a pile of gore, almost up to his knees. He would have gagged if he had a mouth, but this form didnt seem to. Before he could properly process what was happening, a girl in a crimson robe stepped forward out of the shadows. She would have been tall for a human, but seemed short to Zazyn. She pulled back her hood to reveal traditional human light brown skin, blonde hair, and startling greenish yellow eyes. "We have awaited your arrival for a long time, oh great omnipotent one." While speaking, she fell onto her knees and began to bow to him, much to his great disgust. "We will continue to serve you until our last breathe. You are our only reason for life, just as you give it, oh glorious one. We-" Zazyn told her to stop and give him some time to think. "What is wrong, my lord?" She asked, clearly confused. Another cult member walked in then, wearing the same crimson cloak, and holding a glass container with a green axolotl for some reason. Zazyn sighed, and said "First off, why the hell am I standing in a pile of organs?" They both seemed to grow considerably more confused at this, giving each other a quizzical look, before the boy spoke up, slightly stuttering. "We... thought the human sacrifices were what attracted you. Are they not?" At this, Zazyn nearly altered his physical form just so he could have the ability to puke. "Of course not! Nice food and shit attracts me! Not bloodshed! I'm not Khorne for fuck's sake!" Both of the humans seemed to be terrified at this sudden outburst, but staged where they stood. "Then... what does attract you? What did we do right?" The girl said. Zazyn searched around at his feet until he found a single Jolly Rancher stuck between two stone bricks on the floor. "This." He said, brandishing the cherry flavoured candy to the two acolytes. "This attracted me. Not the needless violence. I'm the god of food. Drink. Revelry. You could have just dropped an empty bottle of beer at my shrine and it would've counted to call me here." The girl (who Zazyn was now sure was Eva) and her (presumably) brother looked at the candy with a strange look for a few seconds, before the brother spoke again. "So, you're not going to help us destroy our enemies? You aren't going to smite the heretics?" Zazyn was flabbergasted. In the past, he was just summoned to help people have a good time. Whether it was turning a well into a spring of natural wine, or just producing some condoms for a drunk couple, he was never asked to harm anyone. "And I assumed the Romans were the weirdest I was going to have to deal with..." he thought to himself. He considered this for a second, the pleading looks of the siblings boring into his head. "Fine." He finally said. "I signed the contract. I agreed to this. I suppose there's nothing I can really do to get out of it." He could see their eyes light up as he said this. "What do you two need?"

The Magical Academy of the Magus Delegation was one of the most renowned in the land for training Adventurers who could help various kingdoms with their problems. Wizards who stoppered death, and bottled dragon's breath in neat orderly bottles while carrying scrolls covered in ancient glyphs and sigils. Sorcerers who molded the world around them through will and cunning. Warlocks who bargained with spirits and fey for secretive power. Even the occasional Bard, or Mystic would come from it's halls to perform quests for profit.

Most of the students in this academy were legacies, defended from retired adventurers who had made their fortune, and were passing the torch. I was different.

The 5th son of a fisherman and his wife, I had nothing to inherit, and no real cause for learning much beyond how to use a knife and trim a sail. But I knew some magic. I mostly worked with simple things. Cantrips and spells from the evocation school were my specialty.

It had all started when one of the 'Legacies' had stolen my components, and chucked them out the window. I had minutes to aquire enough components to perform 3 spells, and had only been able to find a salt shaker that was half full.

While other potential students laughed at me, I performed my first spell, by casting shocking grasp. The salt shaker had been made of rough quartz, and has a silver lid, so the shaker itself worked for this. The crystal structure flexed as I passed some magical current through it, and Zzzzap. Mild electric current.

Next I focused and cast a sleep spell on a rat in a cage. Sand was normally used, but both sand and salt are forms of crushed rocks that came from the ocean, so I was able to focus, and get the desired effect.

Being a Evocator, the natural third spell was elemental in nature. I conjured a spark from the salt shaker, passed the current through a handful of salt, and then threw the silver metal, Sodium, at the target, it lighting up with fire as it arced from my fingertips. Shocking Grasp, Sleep, and Firebolt. Although, the room did smell a bit like a pool.

The Legacies looked like they had eaten lemons. Their parents looked like they had eaten the trees the lemons came from. Some of the staff, who I would soon learn had a predisposition towards richer families that could afford to pamper their kids teachers, sneered at me.

The headmistress though, she smiled stood, and asked if I wanted to be her direct apprentice.

That's how I started on my path to becoming an adventuring Mage, with just my wits and a salt shaker.

Why did you pissed on the moon?

"Star Trek: How Much for Just a Planet" is probably the funniest thing I've ever read.

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.