brilliant

I heard that in her deep raspy voice

Great twist that I didn’t expect

"Me? A God?" I laugh as he stares at me with that blank expression.

"I know you are. I can see it. I have seen your strength in gym class."

"I just like to work out."

"And how you know all the answers in classes"

"And I'm smart. Listen, I'm sorry I'm talented but that doesn't make me a god. And I doubt that you are a god either."

He grabs me and then goes off running. It happens so fast that I can barely register, but a few seconds later I am in the middle of a desert. I guess he is a god after all.

He tells me I have this power too, that I just have to unlock it. I am still not buying it. I'm just a regular Joe. If I was a god, I would certainly know it. If I was a God, I certainly wouldn't have pissed the bed until I was 13. But he is convinced, so I start training. I start running as fast as I can, but I never get anything near super human speeds. I mean, I'm still pretty fast, but nothing that anybody on the track team can't beat.

He tries making me throw around giant rocks. He demonstrates by lifting one and then throwing it across the desert. I try to copy him but I cannot lift it at all. I can feel my veins jumping out of my neck. My fingertips are so strained as I try to lift it, but nothing. I can see his disappointment. He looked at me so unexpectedly. He tells me he knows that I am capable of so much. That I could be a powerful god with amazing powers. We just need to figure out how to unlock my powers. He has an idea.

We go to the top of a skyscraper. I look over the edge. Yup. Definitely high up. He tells me to fly. Great. A real do or die scenario, just great. I look over the edge again. I can't do it. There's no way. It is way too far down and I am not even convinced that-

I can't even finish my thoughts because he just pushed me off the edge of the building. Now I am just shocked by the feeling of falling. And then by the feeling of splatting. He looks down at the red mess that used to be my body. I guess he was wrong. I wasn't a god after all. Just a regular ol bedwetter.

Mmm, so "The Lazy King"?

“Don’t stick your dick in it Holden, it’s fucked enough already.”

I examined the boy in front of me. We were inside a classroom. It was recess and kids were running around everywhere.

It had been a week since he had asked me that question: “Are you a god as well?”

I went home confused as hell. That night I had dreams. Dreams of war. Dreams of blood staining a battlefield. Dreams of Heaven being torn apart.

The next morning I had gone to school. And then that night I had more dreams. This time it was about my previous life. My marriage. My children. My wife.

I went to school for the rest of the week, confused and doing my best to avoid the new kid who’s name I learned to be Gage.

On the Monday of next week I had full knowledge of my previous life. I had grabbed Gage and dragged him to this room.

He then proceeded to say that he was a god. He too had fled the destruction of Heaven.

However, I hadn’t fled the ravage of Heaven. I had stayed there and died there. So that begged the question of how I was here now.

Right then a teacher strolled into the room. Dark energy surrounded him.

“Raleigh!” Gage snarled. And the fight started.

Could be structured in a Sleeping Beauty way: a bunch of Seelie fairies give the nice blessings and then Maleficent comes and twists them all into literalness

This prompt doesn't make much sense. Intelligence is widely understood to be correlated directly with mathematics. No mathematics, no intelligence.

"But the online IQ test I took..."

No. Legit IQ tests are essentially all math (with just enough language to comprehend what math questions they're asking).

Hehe, i like it :3

Pt 2

After taking a trip to an old house that my mother's family owns, I went through whatever old memories the generations had not yet gotten to. There I found some real answers, or at least ones that gave a clue towards my origin. There were old pictures of freakshow attractions from the early 1900s, seems our family really did have oddities but were hidden away from time and the rest of the family. I saw great great uncles who were seemed strangely bovine in the pictures, these pictures had the writing, "Meet the fantastic Beef Brothers, as strong as bulls and as large as an ox." Then a picture of a woman with bright eyes and a strange white material around her chest. "Meet the steamy Anna, a heart as cold as ice but eyes that burn with a passion!" I sorted and looked and found more and more pictures of all these people, who seemed to have conditions similar to mine.

I didn't know what to think, why didn't my parents tell me about this? But, seeing these pictures, it's obvious they didn't know. Or at least they claimed they did. My family had apparently had this problem for hundreds of generations, but no one had ever noticed. Until me, it's possible the genetics had mutated in me. The amount of people that didn't have any fascinating traits currently seemed to be tied to the fact that having kids with normal people seemed to bury the trait, but with me it had popped back up. My father's side must be similar for the gene to have popped back up stronger than ever since a generation or so ago. It doesn't seem like there's any solution but there is a unique opportunity here, I can track down some of my distant relatives and learn about my family.

Yeah I've been on an SCP binge recently and I figured I'd parody it and have some fun. Wanted to try and make it into a small species documentation

Nobody could curse quite like Avasarala

Yeah, definite SCP vibes here.

"Were we the anomalies all along?"

please

"What do you mean they have threat level one potential but zero advanced sorcery. Is this some sort of advanced magic weilding technique we do not know about?" Yelled the director of the Intergalactic Relations Bureau.

"No, sir. It's just that they-" the linguistic and cultural research head was interupted once more bybthe director. "This is a new species we have come across in the barren and uninhabitable parts of the universe. There is no way they have prepared for war with anyone. They would have grown thinking they are alone with no one to fight but themselves. We know how that goes."

"Yes sir, we only find their ruins. But these "Humans" have grown differently. They... well, they're perhaps less intelligent than a child like to ever discover any type of sorcery, but they have lived in the most uninhabitable area knowing they're alone." The subordinate grabbed a large stack of papers he'd accumulated on human research. "Their bodies have the ability to heal themselves from nearly any type of damage. Even when amputated, their bodies will simply heal where the limb was lost."

The director paid concerned attention. A war with humans could not be won by targetting the healers first if they could heal any damage administered. "Is this what makes them so seemingly threatening? Because it would be a fight against an enemy that does not die?"

"No, no. They do die, and rather quickly. Their livespans are no more than a quarter of the standard lifespan, but they can all have multiple offspring and they have something equal or more powerful to magic and sorcery. This, I am struggling to understand how it works." Said the linguistics and Cultural professional with carefulness in his words. "They have advanced mathematics too far."

"Mathematics? Is this some sort of joke? Is today international humour day?"

"No sir. They can control metal with no biological components nor posessions. They have colonized the nearest moon and planet to their home planet and have a planetary defense system with no form of sorcery."

"How can mathematics show this. How could adding one to one, taking one away or splitting items be used to leave their planets? You simply hire a sorcerer pilot and comamdeer a biometal ship to move where you please."

"Of course sir, but they becan calculating how far they could throw a deadly item during war. Sharp objects usually, but since they fought such formidable opponents, themselves. They escalated their weaponry. They mined their planets compressed fires and eventually made rocks think in mathematics with lightning power."

"So why have you brought me here?"

"To explain that they are the new super power but have long chosen a path of peace."

"This cannot be. Our most fierce mages can kill one hundred enemies in one day. A short lifespan would make the Humans tire quickly. Would it not?" Asked the director with more worry as his expert did not seem to be joking.

"Yes, the best can kil up to two hundred in a day, but behold. They are trying to make a route to their mearest galaxy, but those planets are in their way for a perfect launch."

"Well yes. No one can throw a weapon around a planet without sorcery."

The director and the linguistics and culture professional watched in silence as a small one person ship approached them completely unaware of their cloaked presence.

"What is this human doing out here? Did he get thrown wrong and off course."

"No sir, he is clearing a path for the neighbor galaxy."

They watched in disbelief as the single person ship fired one small rocket at each of the three planets in question.

"This could not poss-" the director's mouth fell agape as he witnessed his first three planet sized nuclear explosions. "No! The planets. How can... we cannot possibly compete with these." He looked at his advisor, then at the sorcerer in control of the ship. "Make it imperative that we remain cloaked. The human could eradicate us if he saw us as threatening." "Aye"

"You are sure they are not a voilent race?"

"Not in generations. Sir." Replied the culture and linguistics advisor.

The small human ship then fired three more small projectiles that turned into black spheres at each of the planets. The Intergalactic Relations Bureau saw for the first time in their lives three black holes grow from nothing, swallow the debree from the planets and collapse onto themselves, leaving nothing but perfect spheres of all the planet's resources sorted and lined up in a row.

"That's one human's power? How many of them are there?" Asked the director in a panic, knowing that these powers derived from mathematics could most likely not be stopped with any sort of magic.

"Twenty five billion."

"Remove our cloaking."

"But sir w-"

"We cannot afford a negative introduction. The council would want to send a battalion along as a precaution. The humans could see it as an act of violence and shortly after: they could become the only life forms in the universe. No matter how much smarter we may be. They hold the power of the universe. We were unlucky to develop in comfort and never needed to explore the power beyond magic. Let's hope they are welcoming of strangers."

Apologies for any misspellings. On mobile that refuses to auto correct or auto suggest the right spelling. Probably paragraphis are wrong too.

BEGINNING ENTRY FOR IGC SPECIES 5023. TRANSLATION FOR: HUMAN-ENGLISH

IDENTIFICATION: Human

RISK FACTOR: PALTIC

VOTE OF INCLUSION:

S10-1: AYE

S10-2: NAY

S10-3: AYE

S10-4: AYE

S10-5: AYE

TOTAL VOTE: 4-1 RESULT: FIRST CONTACT AND INCLUSION APPROVED

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Humans are two legged, ground based creatures with two arms that walk upright. Not capable of flight without augmentation or external machines. Liquid traversal limited as well. Most possess capability to traverse H2O bodies for short periods and can float. Underwater capability limited to approximately 6e10 standard pulses. Capability varies based on individual. Sight limited to approximately 380-740 standard waves. Capable of standard hearing and touch. Evidence of taste and smell found. Unknown capability. [INFORMATION EXCLUDED. ACCESS RESTRICTED TO S8 AND HIGHER]

REASON FOR INCLUSION: IGC-5023 has been monitored for ██00 of their solar cycles. Recent activity in the past 400 cycles has shown near impossible progression of mathematics and science. As of ███████ galactic time, 3█ solar cycles ago, IGC-5023 has acheived ███ capability and is now traveling outside of their solar system. As this technology is of interest to the psionic council as well as [INFORMATION EXCLUDED]

ADDENDUM 5023-1

THREAT CLASS UPGRADED TO ARMINION. THEY DO NOT COME IN PEACE. ANY CONTACT MUST BE REPORTED TO S9 COMMAND AND WILL REQUIRE IMMEDIATE DEPLOYMENT OF █████████ CLASS VESSELS

The moon is gone, but matter cannot be created or destroyed, so the mass is still there.. probably on a similar trajectory and orbit.

Unless you have the exact mass of the moon, concentrated in a black hole orbiting in the same location. Then it continues as normal even though you can't see the black hole's gravitational lensing from earth's surface with the naked eye

[removed]

~ You Are What You Eat ~

Be careful of getting too selective, they said. You are what you eat, they said. The original Count Dracula (who wasn't even a real Count, by the way) had made a habit of snacking on pompous, self-aggrandizing aristocrats, and look where that got us, they said. Well, what do they know?

Not many people actively seek out vampirism. Most tend to get attached to things like eating garlic and sunbathing and walking into a church without bursting into flames. But for me, being turned was an opportunity.

See, I'd always been unpopular. My school career was an endless parade of mean girls making my life miserable, just because I wasn't as cool or as pretty as they were. I thought it would end when I graduated, but the working world was no better. Those same mean girls grew up and got jobs in HR or as executives, and used their power to make my adult life suck just as much as my childhood.

They had to pay.

Preying on them was ridiculously easy. And I can't even begin to describe how satisfying it was the first time I cornered one of them, greedily feasting on her terror as she realized this wasn't a joke and there was no escape, just before going for the kill and devouring every precious drop of that sweet, sweet lifeblood. Knowing that she had sustained me after everything she'd put me through almost made it all worthwhile.

I'd never felt as powerful as I did then, and I wanted more. The whole thing was like a drug for me. High on revenge, high on power, high on a sense of invincibility. And nobody would miss a few mean girls. If anything, I was doing the world a favor.

Before long, I'd taken care of all my old bullies and was now on the lookout for worthy candidates. I wasn't quite sure where to start, so I decided to pay my old friend Edna a visit. If anyone could appreciate what I was trying to do, it was her. Both of us had had a rough time in school, and every time I saw her, she looked just as rundown and put-upon as I felt.

I managed to catch her just as she was leaving work. She looked as world-weary as usual (and what on earth was going on with her hair? She looked like Medusa!). Pulling up next to her, I called out, "Get in, loser, we're going shopping."

Edna raised an eyebrow at me, but climbed in the front seat anyway. I have to admit, I wasn't quite sure why I said that. When I'd driven up to meet her, I hadn't had any concrete plans in mind for where we'd go. But I figured shopping was as good an activity as anything. Since I'd been turned, I seemed to have an increased appreciation for it. Just because I'm undead doesn't mean I can't look good, right?

"You look different," Edna said after she'd gotten settled. She was studying me with a small frown on her face.

"Oh, yeah," I said, grinning. "I've been turned. It's pretty cool."

Edna's frown deepened. "No, I don't think that's it."

I rolled my eyes. I hoped she wasn't going to be talking in riddles all night. This was supposed to be fun. I pulled into the mall parking lot, and we hurried inside. There might be fewer hours of daylight in the winter, but it was too cold to linger outside regardless.

Unfortunately, Christmas season also meant that the mall was crammed with people doing their last-minute shopping. Snot-nosed brats ran around all over the place, screaming and carrying on while their tired mothers who'd all seriously let themselves go tried to drag them from store to store. I noticed with satisfaction that some of the brats looked frightened when they caught sight of me. Perks of being a vampire, I thought, baring my teeth at them and laughing when they scampered away in terror.

"Oh, my god, Edna, look at that woman," I whispered, pointing out an obese woman in a bright red sweatshirt. "She looks like a stop sign. Same shape and everything." I started to giggle, but for some reason, Edna didn't join me.

Instead, she raised an eyebrow in clear disapproval and gave her head a slight shake. "That's really mean," she said. "What's gotten into you?"

I could tell by her face that I was about to get an earful on sensitivity and fat-shaming and whatever else — Edna was great at lecturing people. Probably why nobody liked her much in school, I thought. Though this was the first time she'd ever directed one of her lectures at me. What was that about?

"Whatever," I said, waving a hand. "Come on. I need some new shoes."

I caught her glancing pointedly at the shoes I was wearing, but decided to ignore it. It was obvious to me that she wouldn't understand those shoes were hardly new any more — I'd already had them for more than a week. But she never did understand fashion.

I gave her a critical once-over. Since we're already here, I thought, I might as well give her a makeover. "You know, you could use some new shoes yourself," I mused, returning her pointed glance. She was wearing a pair of ratty old sneakers I recognized from high school. But instead of looking ashamed of herself, she continued to frown at me as I led her through the mall.

For some reason, she didn't seem at all willing to shop. Even though it was obvious she needed new shoes, she kept saying her old shoes were "fine." Then, when we went to the clothing stores, she kept complaining that all the clothes I picked out for her "weren't me." It was a total buzzkill.

"Look, Edna," I said at last. "I was trying to be nice about it, but you need a makeover. You could at least be grateful I'm taking the time to help you out."

Edna's eyes flashed. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but for the last time, I'm happy with my own style!"

"You call that a style," I couldn't help sniping.

"And that's another thing!" she raved. "You haven't been all that nice about it. You've gotten mean lately. You're acting like those same nasty girls you used to complain about!"

I scoffed, but something about what she'd said made me pause. Seeing she had my attention, she turned toward a nearby mirror. "I mean, just look at yourself," she said. "You're like a completely different person."

I stared at my reflection as if seeing myself for the first time. I had changed, I supposed. The vampirism seemed to have subtly altered my features, making them more conventionally attractive, and my hair had grown longer, smoother, and lighter. The short pink skirt and sleeveless white top weren't the type of thing I used to wear, either. I did look like a completely different person.

"Oh, no," I moaned as I realized what had happened. "I've become Regina George!"

The End

Thanks for reading!

It first started at the furthest reaches of the known world, far from the mana rich deposits and ley lines on top of which most of the civilized world resides. Then came the spirits, demons and mindless beasts imbued of magic that slowly began to disappear, die or revert to some non-magical form. Gods began to lose their power as the mighty dragons lost their fire, then their flight and eventually their very lives. It was when it hit the academies, temples, monasteries and palaces of magic, when some of the most complex magics stopped working and new magic could no longer be created that earnest effort was put in to investigate the cause. Unfortunately, the cause was never discovered, but the scholars frantically studying the problem began to see a pattern. Magic was disappearing in a manner and at a rate that seemed to lead to a point in time and space - a small village in the back country of the most powerful magical kingdom in the world that was founded on top of the largest mana deposit. The seers determined that a child would be born the exact moment all magic disappeared before their powers were lost.

The world was consumed with war and deprivation as the balance of power shifted. The different kingdoms and races frantically fought to to preserve themselves and their way of life as the immense benefits and luxuries that magic provided them slowly disappeared. Gods who had lost their power but retained their titles were especially ruthless and cruel in their pursuits, desperately hoping to hold onto power they inherently possessed as a divine right. As the last of the magics dissipated in the world, the Gods, rulers, and any who still held power converged on the village, awaiting the child of prophecy to be born, hoping and fearing that this child would be the sole source of magic and therefore the most powerful being in existence. It was fear that prevented any harm from visiting the child or its parents. Fear of losing the last hope for magic to return or fear from what devastation a child with all the magic in the world would cause. When the child was born, Gods and mortals who were now one in the same, bent the knee as the last vestiges of magic disappeared. It was terror that compelled them, terror at this unknown new world ushered in by the first child born to world with no magic - a child born to Rea that went by the name Reason.

What the fuck do you mean we used to have a god damned moon?!?!

— Chrisjen Avasarala

FTFY

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I would read a second part. Good start.

The tide goes out, the tide comes in. You can no longer explain that.