No.

"I can't do this anymore, okay? I cannot fucking do this anymore."

I skated around the room as I chuckled at Sex Bomb. "Aw come on! You always had more patience for my bullshit than--"

"I love you, Flurry."

"What?!" Bomb's words rattled me so thoroughly, I accidentally ran into a wall. As I collected my bearings, Sex Bomb started walking over to me. When I saw she had dropped her trusty rocket launcher Baby Doll, I realized she was being completely serious--she practically had that thing chained to her hip.

"I said I love you, Flurry. You're brave and funny and kind and beautiful. And I can't keep putting myself in a position where I risk hurting or even killing you. I--I know you'll never return my feelings, but--"

Before I even knew what I was doing, I blurted out, "I love you too!"

Sex Bomb went wide eyed at my interruption. "You do?"

I got on my feet and held her hands. "I do! I've had a crush on you since we met. Hell, I didn't even know I liked girls until I met you! It's just... I didn't think you'd believe me if I told you. I'm not exactly known for being serious, after all."

Sex Bomb pressed her forehead against mine affectionately. "Of course I would have believed you."

I let out a joyful giggle as Sex Bomb and I kissed. When we broke apart, she whispered to me, "You taste like mint chip ice cream. I love mint chip."

Suddenly, a baritone voice from above us called out, "I really shouldn't have to say it, but I am not okay with any part of this."

We looked up to see my partner Snow Angel tied to the railing on the upper level and his wing pack hanging from the ceiling covered in pink spray paint. I rolled my eyes and responded, "You're not my dad, and even if you were, that wouldn't give you the right to dictate who I go out with!"

"She's a criminal!"

Sex Bomb flipped him off and fired back, "Yeah, but I'm a criminal who's still legally entitled to partaking in the Returners Rehabilitation Program, which I will be joining by the end of the night!"

Snow Angel scoffed, but couldn't get a word in before I gave him an ice gag. "And I will gladly be her sponsor in these endeavors." I then turned to Sex Bomb to say, "Now, whaddya say we get some Italian for dinner?"

"Yes, please!"

It does :D

It's not "opposite gender snail", it's opposite gender human.

Just a smidge disappointed to not see any Uncle Iroh drabbles rip

That's fair.

Deciding to communicate with the snail is a prompt of its own.

I'm wondering what OP might possibly be looking for with the specification by making the snail 'the opposite gender'.

Now I can’t decide if this is a redemption story or a really long-term recurring horror story.

##Hellfire

Satan walked into the room with his best suit. Well, it was the most appropriate for the situation. His best suit was made from the skin of sinners and was threaded with their screams. Jehovah made his disgusts known to Satan several times.

Jehovah's office was an understated display of power. Extinct birds flew in the air above him. The chairs were the perfect size and comfort for their occupants, but they didn't look expensive. The water was always the correct temperature. It was enough to make even Satan feel comfortable.

"I'm glad you could meet with me." Jehovah shook Satan's hand. The grip was firm and supportive. "I know you have a busy schedule."

"It's alright. It's nice to get out of Hell every so often," Satan said.

"I'd imagine. How are things down there?"

"Well, we..." Satan paused. He recently created a new feet crusher, but Jehovah wouldn't like to hear that. "There's a new noise machine."

"That's good." Jehovah pulled out a sheet of paper. "So I'd hate to do this." He slid the paper.

"You're...firing me?" Satan looked up.

"All of Hell is going," Jehovah nods.

"Why? I thought the point of Hell was torturing bad humans. There are certainly a lot of them."

"That's not your role."

"What are you talking about? My name literally means adversary. I'm supposed to be the enemy of all that is good." Satan stood and unleashed a pillar of fire that incinerated everything. God recreated it quickly.

"You're name also means accuser. You were supposed to challenge humans to help them grow and change. When you torture them, they don't change. To be honest, I think you like torturing them."

"Of course I like it. Removing tongues is enjoyable. If you wanted me to help them grow, you shouldn't have made Hell a place for eternal damnation." Satan shouted and unleashed a plague on the world. Jehovah tapped Satan on the head. Satan calmed himself. "Alright, I'll stop doing that, but you've got to have a good reason."

"Actually, I do." God waved his hand creating a word in the sky that read Purgatory. Beneath it was a large hill.

"What's that?"

"It's a place closer to my original goal. A place where humans are given the opportunity to grow and change. I want you and your staff to oversee it as a second chance," Jehovah said.

"Why didn't you lead with that?"

"Because I knew power had corrupted you, and I wanted you to understand that for yourself." Satan rubbed the back of his head.

"You're right. I have become quite sadistic and egotistical."

"It's alright. You have an opportunity to change your ways. Like the humans."

r/AstroRideWrites

[removed]

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

They also don't talk.

Thanks! I always appreciate when people take the time to read my stories. The testing is as pleasant as a cumulative exam in Advanced Physics!

Aren't snails hermaphroditic?

Natural log related e generally has a superscript, but I take your point.

Oh, goddess, now I'm trying to figure out irrational and imaginary numbers in Roman numerals.

MAKE IT STOP!!!

This was very well written! I love the inner commentary from Trent, very amusing. Hopefully he manages to rescue his brother, I imagine that inter dimensional testing is not very pleasant.

depends on which e u mean, there is a e for natural log (which might be the e u mean), an e for eccentricity of an orbit, and an e used by computers for scientific notation; 10e+2 means 1000 (and which also might be what u mean).

Edit: 1e-3 means 0.001 Edit again: self note, don’t use - as line breaks

"is that 'e,' for order of magnitude or is it a number?"

Astrophysics major here. How the frick do they even work with lightyears. Like… geez, imagine writing the gravitational constant in Roman numerals

[removed]

“Tea is a beverage full of contradictions, of possibilities. It’s a liquid made from solids, it can be served both hot and cold, it can both awaken and relax. If a portal through realities exists, is it really so surprising that it would be tea? Scoot said, a sly smile gracing his face as he struggled to cut his pancake. He surely believed he words to be profound.

Trent — his waiter — did not. Why do I always get the nut jobs? I swear if I didn’t have a million dollars of student loan debt, I’d rip this apron off and choke my supervisor with it. He flashed his best HR appropriate smile at Scoot and said, “that was an enlightening conversation. Thank You. Enjoy your meal!” He rushed away from the table, only for Scoot to snatch his arm.

“Don’t forget what I told ya now.”

Don’t roll your eyes, you can’t get fired. Again. “About the government being run by highly functioning llamas with transformative abilities, or the number four being a fake number planted by aliens?”

“Both. But especially don’t forget what I told ya about the tea.” Scoot reeled Trent’s arm in like he’d caught his first snapper after days of starvation. Then he whispered, “Think about it, Illuminati, triangle, right? Triangle starts with the letter ‘tea’. Not only is it a drink, it’s also a letter!”

“That’s a bit of a stretch.” His customer friendly tolerance was dwindling by the nano-second.

“Whats your name kid?”

Oh dear lord save me. “Trent.”

“By Grace! You’ve been blessed with the eye, kid! Your name is book ended with ‘teas’!”

Tip also starts with ‘T’ and I swear I better get a big one for dealing with this shit.

It took twenty minutes before Trent escaped the void of Scoot’s conversation. He shot the shit with his co-workers in the back during his break and waited over fifty tables throughout the night. The dining tables were a revolving door of new and returning customers, all eager to eat overpriced food and shove stale jokes down his throat. All except one. Scoot’s. At closing time, each table emptied, ready for cleaning. Except Scoot’s.

He sat there blissfully unaware of the sounds of sweeping and squirting cleaning products. Not a flinch at the stench of bleach, as Trent doused every uninhabited surface with it. Suddenly, he sprang up and hurried out of the restaurant. Fucking good. Before he departed, he turned and faced Trent’s direction. Fucking not good. “Don’t forget to read the tea leaves, boy. It’s a saying for a reason.”

Fortunately for Trent’s job security, Scoot left a split second before his patience did. He inspected the last uncleaned table in the restaurant; no tip.

The next morning, his troublesome little brother, Anton, roused him out of bed.

“Wake up! Wake up!” Anton assaulted his mattress and peace. “The leaves are falling. They look so cool. Come look!”

“Yeah, yeah, they fall every year. You live long enough, the excitement of falling leaves wears off. Actually, for life in general.”

“Hurry! I’ll wait for you outside. Let’s go build a leaf-man!” Anton bolted out of the room, delivering his best Usain impression.

A leaf-man? He might be the second dumbest person I’ve spoken to in the last 24 hours. Trent re-snuggled himself under his comforter and a revelation dawned on him. Falling leaves; in June? With measured caution, he left his warm bed and trailed his brother outside. When he opened the front door, he froze.

A blizzard of green leaves pelted the Earth. The sun’s light struggled to peek through, instead settling to light the ground a rich emerald. The concrete jungle he inhabited favored the palate of an actual jungle. All the grays and unnatural colors of the world converted to earthy tones.

Compact blades of light green leaves littered the surface. To his left, a tornado fortress of leaves encased his parent’s vehicles. To his right, half a single Spider-Man covered shoe lay on the ground. A staple character in Anton’s catalogue of role models. But where was Anton?

The leaves on the ground were dense, but too shallow to hide a boy’s body — no matter how young he was. He probably went back in the house for me. Yet when Trent turned around, the house was no longer there. It vanished without a single parting message. At this point, Trent was sure he’d slipped up and consumed whatever drug Scoot took.

Scoot. Why would he think about that old man at a time like this? He reasoned with himself and examined the leaves. Ah-ha. Tea leaves. As a waiter, he’d prepared tea on many occasions for patrons. The very sight of the leaves made his hands ache. What he saw scrawled on them made his stomach turn.

“Congratulations. The fourth dimension has selected you for interdimensional testing. We welcome you Anton.”

[removed]

Ooh, that sounds fascinating, definitely added to my reading list! Thank you :)

Thanks so much! Really appreciate the prompt!

Thank you!