"The Heavy is Dead" is a Team Fortress 2 YTP/comedy video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiuyhxp4w9I
People try to figure out why "The Heavy" is dead... and they keep getting shocked that he is, well, dead.

Hope that helps you figure it out.

Someone is found dead in their home. Their hands, feet, nose, eyes and ears are missing, and the mouth sown shut.

New York City, NY. Harley & Co. Offices, 1500 Hours, Wednesday.

Arnold Davenport, Executive Director of Harley & Co. was in his office on the 22nd floor of the Harley & Co. Office Building. He was rummaging through his desk, desperately trying to find something. His back faced the majority of the room, he didn't take his eyes off his desk. A shadowy figure dressed in grey entered the room, but not from the door, the person in grey had entered from the opposite side of the room, where there was no door. They silently walked to the door, and slid a chair over, effectively locking the door. Davenport turned, but to his horror, there stood a slim figure, grasping a knife in their left hand, slowly walking towards him. An ear-piercing scream filled the room, and many others, but then... silence.

New York City, NY. NYPD, Detective Whitehall's Office, 1200 Hours, Friday.

"A locked room murder! What a case! I haven't had one like this in years, decades, even! It's much better than the Grand Theft Auto cases and stolen sweet rolls!", Whitehall exclaimed as he paced around the room, reading the file. Police Captain Reagan stood, hunched over on the detective's desk. "Whaddya make of it, Detective?", He glued his eyes to the pacing detective. "I make it to be that I will have an interesting day ahead of me! Take me to the murder scene!"

"What an utmost peculiar scene." The office was clean, looked untouched, apart from the bloody desk and missing chair, now on the ground next to the door. The officer in the room lit a smoke and looked on at the body sketch, titling his head. "Hand me the file.", The detective kept his eyes on the room, but held his hand out towards his assistant, Nancy, who placed the file in it. He looked through the file and squinted his eyes. "'Stabbed to death with a Starburr Kitchen Knife Metal Grade.' Those knives aren't commercial yet. How'd the killer get their hands on one?" "Perhaps they worked in the factory.", The assistant chimed in. "Perhaps... Nancy, look at this picture." Whitehall pointed at the photo of the body, six stab marks in the left side of the victim's chest. "What about it, detective?" "The stab marks were on the left side of chest, not the right. A right-handed person would have stabbed the victim in the right side of the chest, and the opposite with a left-handed person." "I didn't notice that, but of course I don't have as keen an eye as you, detective." "Yes, and paired with the possibility they work at the Starburr Factory, we narrowed down the suspect pool a bit. Nancy, call the Starburr Factory and ask for any left-handed women that work in the packaging department." "Women? Why'd you figure a woman did this?" "Look at the bloody footsteps." He took his shoe off and compared it side-by-side, then asked for his assistant to do the same. There was little difference between his assistant's shoe size and the assailant's footstep size, while the detective's shoe was bigger than both. "The murderer was a woman, left-handed, and most likely works in the packaging room of the Starburr Factory. Call the factory foreman, pronto."

Nancy exited the room with her flip-phone, and muffled talking was heard through the thin office wall. The police officer had lit another cigarette and a cloud of smoke appeared above his head, but it slowly dissipated, seemingly vanishing out of mid-air. The detective still pondered on how the murderer entered the room. I have everything else; I just need a motive and a way of entry. He studied the smoke cloud; It got bigger, then smaller, bigger, then smaller, but it always shifted to the right before losing its size. A vent was hidden in the ceiling, the grate matched the color of the roof, impossible to notice unless searching for it specifically. A vent! That's how the murderer got in, but what vent did they enter to get to this one? "Officer, do you have a floorplan of the building?", The detective approached the man. "No, but there's a map next to the elevator." A map, that's what I need to see!

Whitehall rushed out of the room, and sprinted down the hall towards the elevator, a map was positioned right beside it. He ran over and studied the floorplan. Maintenance closet on this floor, isolated, small. Perfect place to unscrew a vent and climb inside. The detective hurried to the closet and arrived just as a maintenance woman locked the door. "Hello ma'am! Has anyone entered this closet in the past few days except for you?", the detective put on his "cheery" voice. "Only the other staff members. If this's tied to that investigation, nobody but me, Paul, and Sally have been in here. The suited men don't have keys, and they're the only other people allowed up here, apart from other types of staff. Only us cleaners have a master key, well, somewhat of a master key. You see, the head foreman of the maintenance wing proclai-" "Great, thanks. Could you let me in the closet?" The lady scrunched her nose and unlocked the door, walking off.

The detective investigated the room. No doubt the screws have been loosened. Not a sloppy job when they were rescrewed. This was an inside job, and there's no doubt about it. He noticed a grey skinsuit underneath a shelf, perhaps a disguise, perhaps not. You can't really tell. Footsteps came from outside the closet, and Whitehall tensed up as the soft thuds came closer. But to his relief, Nancy stood in the doorway of the closet, holding up her phone. "The employees fitting the description you gave are 'Karen Newcomb', 'Rachel Puckett', 'Sarah McCarthy', and-" "Wait, Sarah?" "Yeah, that the perp?" "I was just told that a 'Sally' works here in maintenance and was in here in the past few days, she must've unscrewed the grate and used the vents to get to the victim's office, then killed him, and escaped through the vents. Sally is short for Sarah." The detective's eyes widened, "Get me Captain Reagan and a few officers, I've found our murderer!"

Two police cars parked on the sidewalk leading to the Harley & Co. Building, the captain and three other officers got out and rushed into the building. "Hi, is there a 'Sarah McCarthy' in the building? Check under maintenance staff.", The captain questioned the receptionist. "I don't believe that's my information to give.", the reception replied. The captain flashed his badge and asked again. "Ok, yes. She was called up to the 22nd floor just five minutes ago." The captain managed a quick thanks and lead his small team up the elevator.

Whitehall stood in an office; the man who owned it sat in his chair as the detective requested Sarah to the office to 'fix a broken wire.' Five minutes past, no Sarah, but the captain arrived, and just on time, too. The woman got out on the elevator on the other side of the floor, and stopped by the office door, knocking on it. She let herself in and a crowd of people awaited her. One confused businessman, a snarky assistant, a confident detective, and four distraught police officers. "What is the meaning of this?", she finally spoke. "Sarah McCarthy, you're under arrest for the murder of Executive Director Arnold Davenport.", the captain stepped forward, taking out his handcuffs. "What? I did no such thing! You have nothing saying I did!" The detective piped up, "We have CCTV footage of you going into the maintenance closet, staying in there for seven minutes, approximately the amount of time needed to go through the vents, into Arnold's office, kill him, and leave the same way you came." "I could've been doing anything!" "Well, I found a skinsuit, and I bet if I dust this, along with the vents, I'd find your finger-prints all over."

Sarah froze, possibly contemplating her next move, but she stood frozen, for a moment, everyone thought she was having a panic attack. Her eyes widened, she blinked wildly, and her breath was unsteady. The captain went to try and console her but got a swift punch to the face, and faceplanted into the carpeted floor. She took his gun, quickly taking off the safety and aiming it at the people in the room. "I refuse to be taken alive! What I did was a favor to this company! If I didn't kill him, he would've led this company to chaos! I did what I had to do!" She shot the gun, and the bullet went flying into the glass window, shattering it. She was quickly pinned down as the four police officer dogpiled on her.

New York City, NY. NYPD, Captain Franklin Reagan's Office, 2000 Hours, Friday.

"Good work, detective. I should give you a raise!" Captain Reagan sat back in his chair; feet crossed on his desk. "Thank you, Captain. Turns out, these cases are a bit too exciting for me, I just want to go back to my old work as a boring detective.", Whitehall chuckled, but he knew he had some fun this evening. "Hey, detective," Nancy stood in the doorway "A man came in, he wants a detective to help him find his missing wife." The detective stood up, straightened his tie and said, "Send him to my office." Nancy left and Whitehall walked to the door but was stopped by the captain by the doorway, "What about being a 'boring detective?'" "Did I say that?", The detective smiled, and walked off...

If it's any consolation, we have a handful of suspects that the last salvo of investigators went through. They're tough nuts to crack, and all a tad... eccentric, but I'll give you the dossiers we have.

• Rhea Correl lives nextdoor to the victim, she's the one most suspected first. Hot headed, and impulsive, works at the local construction company, has a number of rose bushes that her friends claim she 'likes to throw at people she doesn't like.' I was expecting her initially, but she was out of town during the week of the death. No real motive either, she was very good friends with him with no evidence of a falling out.

• Johnathan Overton, he's got the motive but none of the means. He was a coworker with the victim but was fired in the past week for sexual harassment. He's been noted as especially vindictive and has a history of assaults. Apparently his actions were reported by our late friend, so that has some potential. He denies any involvement with the murder and doesn't have access to anything that could do this sort of damage, at least not that we know of.

• One detective took a shot at probably our weirdest character; Hamlin. No last name was provided. He lives in the floor above the victim and is a reportedly a pathological liar. He sells novelty animal claw gloves in the neighborhood. Claims no involvement with the victim but according to his sales record he sold a pair of gloves to the victim but was not paid back. He can be described as eclectic. We weren't able to get much out of him.

That's all we got. I trust you'll get this one cracked, Whitman. You're our best shot at this one, and besides, you've dealt with weirder, right?

Her "suicide note" claimed that "Vera did it". Her cause of death was an overdose of Veronal.

Name: Jordan Tolby Age: 48 Sex: Male Cause of death: bleeding from multiple orifices. No witnesses, no suspects. Only thing found at the scene was the image of Mr. Tolby and a small Russian doll. He was smiling in it.

Dan Lewis was found dead in Times Square from a gunshot wound to the head. The only problem is that Dan Lewis is by all accounts still alive, and was in fact brought in for questioning. Which makes it all the more confusing that the body has the same blood type, fingerprints, and chipped tooth that he has…

?

On May 20, just a few days into the honeymoon, Ronald left Christina and Jack at the cottage and went sunbathing by the Severn River. When he returned at 6:30PM he was greeted by a horrifying scene – his cottage was ablaze. Ronald raced into the burning cottage and frantically searched for Jack and Christina, calling their names and running from room to room. He finally found Jack in the living room. He was barely conscious and was bleeding profusely from a gash on his forehead. Worried for Christina, Ronald shook Jack and asked him where she was. But Jack was in a “disoriented stupor” and could not reply. After Ronald got Jack to safety he ran back into the cottage to find Christina, but he eventually left the building empty-handed. Ronald asked his neighbours to put out the fire while he took Jack to the hospital. But not even an hour passed before the cottage had burned to the ground. A short while later, Christina was found by a neighbour face down on the riverbank in only nine inches of water, roughly 150 feet from the cottage. The new bride was barefoot and still in her pajamas. Jack was treated at the hospital for a head injury, burns, and shock. Blood test results showed a large amount of codeine in his system. Upon his release, Jack was questioned by police for over three hours, but he was not able to remember anything past 11:00AM the morning of the fire. An autopsy later determined Christina had not been physically assaulted, and there was no sign of burns on her body or smoke damage to her lungs. Blood tests revealed trace amounts of codeine in her system, the same drug found during Jack’s tests. The autopsy concluded Christina’s death was caused by drowning.

A male body was found 150 meters off the high way, in a grove. The body was lying flat on its back and had a single shot through the chest. The wound was dried and a few flies were on his body. There was also a rope and a comb.

The theology behind this prompt is so backwards…

Lol. If only Satan thought of that.

Thank you.

Thanks.

It's both like the Good Place

A business man was found dead in his office last night brutally stabbed to death. One problem, the office was locked from the inside on the 22nd floor. And the stab wounds are clearly not self inflicted. Someone somehow killed him but no one can figure out how they could have possibly got in!

A body was found in the 5th floor of a new york apartment building the body seemed un injured but after examination the inside of the body was burned and there blood was warm like something managed to rose its heat to that of lava

The heavy is dead!

(hope you like sci-fi/fantasy elements)

The body of Noah Woods (36m) was discovered in the suburbs of London last night.

Cause of death: full body lacerations, too numerous to count. The weapon appears to have been flexible.

Witnesses report the corpse had simply "rolled out from under the coffee table" but perhaps even more strangely, Noah was last seen leaving his apartment in downtown Manchester a mere half hour before.

[Case File: 404]

Victim: Juniper Doe. 5’6” racially ambiguous, no identifiable sex organs (autopsy pending). Cause of death: unknown, suspected foul play.

Suspects: none

Victim was found nude and with no obvious injuries at the top of Haunted Hill. Local legends say that the spirits of one hundred orphans who died in a fire a century ago would come back to life in the form of an immortal avatar.

You ever heard the saying "good and evil are two parts of the same coin"? Yeah my family embodies this saying, first you have my older brother, he's like Superman, flight, super strength, laser sight, the whole shebang. Then you have my sister, she doesn't have powers like his, she's just a prodigy in the intelligence department, worldwide hacker. It has a wifi connection, she has access to it, hell even without wifi she'll find a way to get in. Now here's where the saying kicks in, being a hero isn't all sunshine and rainbows, during the whole saving the world shtick, the fighting zones get kinda messed up, and since Mr.Hero is the one who broke them, who do you think has to pay for them? And that's where our little sister jumps in, hacking every bank system in order for our brother to not become Public Enemy #1 .

In the public eye, they're enemies, Mr.Hero doing everything he can to stop her and her "evil" plans she just does for show, she actually just stages everything and any destruction she makes no one gets hurt, damn I bet even cows have a higher kill count than my sister!

And then you have me, being born in between these two, I don't have the super strength and I don't have the intelligence, but there's one thing I do have. Charisma, you point me to a person and I'm their best friend in 1 minute flat, this in turn made it so my job is "doing favors" for the people I know, and I know lot's of people.

Now this particular meeting is about how our brother accidentally destroyed the Eiffel tower on a drunken dare from one of his friends. Now here we are at the table, me making phone calls trying to appease the Prime minister to not declare war on my brother, while my sister is gathering the cough documentation, needed to make this go away without Mr.Hero being the blame.

It seems like my sister's track record is gonna continue spotless on the kill department, but a bit ruined on the "no harmful destruction" part, and let me tell you, she isn't happy about that.

"So, what do you make of it?", Chief Barlowe sat down in Detective Whitman's office. "Hardened Substances in the lungs, pulverized pelvic bone, and thorn-like cuts in the back. What, did he go through a construction site without a hard hat? What kind of joke is this case?!", Whitman slammed the file on his desk. "I thought they were joking too, this's a weird one, detective."

Russi taylor found dead in her home kitchen, the cause of death was multiple stab wounds in her upper abdomen with a kitchen knife. The scene suggests a struggle between her and the culprit,however no forced entry evidence was found,and her home security footage showed no one entering or leaving the home except for russi for the past week.

A man was found dead last night with thoroughly strange injuries. His torso, especially the back of it, had large, jagged gauges in them all perpendicular, like rows of thorns had ripped at him. His lungs were found filled with a solidified substance, not dissimilar to concrete. Most striking of all was the almost complete pulverisation of the pelvis bone. It gave the boys who found him quite fright. The front door of his apartment wrecked, window smashed with glass shards on the street below.

We're assigning this case to you, after it's defeated our top investigators.

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