Tell about the beautiful human race

We don't give ourselves much credit

It's Time to be Thankful

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"Shut up!" I shouted, throwing the paper to the ground. I don't know what kind of face I am pulling right now on my mother. Hatred, Anger, Sadness, all three? More?

"You never understand me, you never try to!"

"What are you talking about? I always try to understand you!"

"Liar!"

Walking past her, I walked to the front door and open it. Without looking back, I slam the door shut.

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"So, let me get this straight. Y'all are fighting because she was saying some stuff about you?"

"My mom just don't understand me, Ryan! Every time I would relax, she would get mad".

"Come on man, not on Thanksgiving," Ryan sighs, standing up. "Look, you can stay here and play video games with me. But at some point, you have to go back home to your mother".

"You think I want to right now?"

"Who knows, she's probably upset and crying right now," He shrugged, pulling out Civilization V. "So, shall we?"

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After a while of playing, we both got bored.

"Oh, it's getting late. We about to celebrate our Thanksgiving. You should go home".

I groaned. "Do I have to, man?"

"I want you and your mother to make up and experience true Thanksgiving".

"Which is?" I sarcastically asked.

"Being thankful that your mother alive, she was the only one who raise you after all. The least you could do is be thankful".

"You do got a point there, man," I sigh. "Sometimes, I just hate how much she put pressure on herself".

"And the son made it worst by yelling-"

"Shut up," I groaned, standing up. "Alright alright! I going to make thinks right".

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Opening the door, I could smell something good from the kitchen. It was my favorite food. Fried Chicken, Green Beans, Rice. Quickly running to the kitchen, I noticed that I was alone.

"..." I bit my lip. I want to celebrate Thanksgiving with my mom. I just yelled at her, and it was selfish of me. But I want to make things right.

"M-Mom!" I shouted.

Mother walk downstairs, hearing my voice. Her eyes were bloodshot, looks like she been crying for hours.

"M-Mom," My voice cracked. All the memories begin flooding to my mind. From my fifth birthday up to yesterday when she baked me a cake. And all I repaid her was those cruel words.

"You don't have to say it, dear. College is just stressful for you," She whispers, wiping down my tears.

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me. "Mom, can we have a nice Thanksgiving?"

"Anything for you, sweetface".

A smile slowly begins to form on my face.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Mom".

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Hahaha god damnit. Good one!

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

Elephant? Maybe idk sorry

Awesome I love it great job

Thank you! Didja catch what that "predator" was?

This is good. I feel like you could turn a short story into a novel with how you describe things.

Thats so much better than I could have ever imagined amazing job!

[deleted]

Thanks. Glad I could help. I remember laughing at the horrible Edelweiss wall paper at the motel where I lost my virginity, the sex was disappointing but we both got a kick out of how tacky it was.

He stood up in the waves, hands covering his ears, and began shouting as he walked toward me. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, so I stopped singing. No one had ever actually made it onto the island before, and I was curious to see what he had to say. Would he be furious? Insatiable? Frenzied? I licked my lips in anticipation.

“Please!” He shouted. “Stop!”

I smiled. He was under my spell, just like all the others. I opened my mouth to sing again, but he cut me off.

“You’re so bad at singing!”

No gob has ever been more smacked then my own was in that moment. His words froze the notes in my throat, causing me to literally gag in response. “Huhck,” I choked out, astonishing myself.

He came to a stop in front of me and leaned forward, hands pressed on his knees while he caught his breath. “Oh god,” he panted. “It’s like nails on a chalkboard. Just stop. Please.”

Mouth agape, I stared at him. This mortal morsel had the audacity to not only invade my home but to also criticize my siren song? I.think.not.

“Mortal,” I said, using my polyphonic voice to put the fear of jeebus in him. “Take care in what you say, for these words may be your last.”

He placed his hands on his hips and arched his back. “Ugh god—I don’t care.” He flapped his hand at me, like I was moth he was shooing away. “Just don’t sing.” Then he tilted his chin down and looked me in the eye. “You fucking totalled my boat you know.”

Does the mouse scold the cat when it’s been caught? Does the rabbit look the fox in the eye and say “Oi! You fucked up my nest!” No! It cowers and gets eaten! And that’s exactly what was going to happen here.

I furrowed my brow and squinted at this brazen bit of man flesh. “I usually try and make this quick, because I’m not a sadist,” I explained, forgoing any further formal language since this twat had seen fit to dispense with the proper order of things. “But given your lack of respect, maybe not this time.” I opened my mouth and screamed—a piercing roar that would strip the flesh from any living creature.

But it had no effect on him.

“Demeter was right,” he said, wiggling a finger in his ear. “You’re a nasty piece of work.”

My blood froze. Demeter?

“Maybe you’re the one who should learn some manners.” He held his hand out and a golden bow came flying up from the wreckage of his ship and into his hand.

“No,” I hissed, backing away. “I didn’t know it was you.”

“Well, now you do.” He held out his other hand, which soon became a fistful of golden arrows. “And I really didn’t like your singing.”

“Apollo—no! I can repair your ship! I can change my voice!”

He notched an arrow. “I think,” he paused, looking at me. “Not.” And he let the arrow fly.

The time I was most surprised by a brain fart was when I was presented a freaking "Saint - Chart" comparing the wisdom of different individuals - and came to the conclusion:

The wisest of them all is Sidious.

I was like.. wait a second.

How is a SITH LORD a Saint!?

Something's wrong, I sense it.

This is madness, have to end it!

I was feeling like a robbing bandit

in a place where trees are splendid.

Call me "Räuber Hotzenplotz"!

The most surprising thing that made me laugh out really hard?

It is whenever a hater hates and criticizes a fellow human's art.

Edit: editing complete

What was the most surprising thing someone said that made you laugh really hard?

I feel kind of sorry for shattering the very heart of the young man lying down to my feet, sobbing like an infant.

His desire is gone. He is an empty hull. Freed of his own limiting beliefs regarding "reality".

I tend to shatter those poor souls who willingly follow the call of my voice. A voice promising them the only thing every human truly desires.

Experiencing love and peace for eternity.

I lay down next to the man who is slowly starting to realize what happened. I catch his eyes. He delves deep into mine. He meets my invitation without hesitation.

"You are free of your desire now, my friend."

He nods. Looks back to the ship he came from.

Lifts his head. Looks up to the night sky which is brighter than anything he has had ever seen before.

"The darkness is gone. There is light everywhere.", I whisper to myself, as the soul of the young man and mine start merging.

"We will be one. Forever."

Without the slightest tension in his body, he accepts and embraces the light of our souls touching each other.

We are One again.

I love storytelling, and this was excellent! I wish I could use my grammar skills to make good developments.

Wow that was great!!!!! I want more jajaja

CASE I

Client: Giant Sequoia (Sequoiadendron giganteum)

Service requested: Complete clearance of the fast-growing, shade-loving species that were crowding out its progeny.

Method of execution: Creating an enormous wildfire. Sure, the rest of the local ecosystem as well as some of the local human communities were devastated, but my client was kept safe by its thick bark. Job completed.

CASE II

Client: Christmas Island Red Crab (Geocarcoidea natalis)

Service requested: Removal of the invasive yellow crazy ants that posed a threat to my client.

Method of execution: Blasting the anthills with a flamethrower, resulting in massive casualties for the ants. Job completed.

CASE III

Client: Domestic Cat (Felis catis)

Service requested: Removal of dog recently taken in by my client’s roommate, henceforth referred to as “hooman”. This dog was being a nuisance to my client, e.g. barking at my client whenever it saw it. Client specified that “hooman” was to be spared for the sole reason of “food”.

Method of execution: I’m a druid. I settle the struggles of nature, not petty feuds between household animals. Client was politely turned away, although I suspect it may find another way to achieve its goal…

Translated from Kih-kala

Transcription of Field Log and Comms: 002879, RTD 65th Rotation/ Orbit 4.6b. Location: Ruins on 3rd planet from system center, hereafter dubbed "3R". Team: Tev, Arrak, Chosik(Lead)

Tv"That's what I'm saying. The conditions on this planet vary so intensely, it's a wonder life could ever- Watch out!"

-unintelligible-

T:"You ok? Good. Good. Yeah, the native fauna seem to be highly aggressive."

A:"What was -that-?!“

C:"Some sort of predator, obviously. I think those were its ears? The size of em, could probably hear prey a few kliks away. "

T:"Those eyes were completely black. And those teeth! I've never seen incisors like those!"

C:"We best keep moving. Scans indicate those things tend to live in warrens. Probably ambush predators. We're not far from the site."

T:"Oh wow... Just look at the size of those structures. They're -massive-... How did they manage to even quarry stone that big?! Hold on, I'm getting a sample."

-unintelligible-

T:"It's not exactly stone! Like, there's bits of stone and silica granules, but it's all a composite material! With some Ferrous Oxide in the core of the material, which is just odd... Arrak, look at this plug sample. There's just a big chunk of Ferrous Oxide right in the middle, here!"

A:"I'll be damned. Wait. Do you think it was oxidized when they built this? Or did it happen later?“

T:"Ah, were going to have to run a full atomic analysis, I think. "

C:"Tev! Arrak! Cut the chatter. Dead ahead, you see that? I'm requesting a xenolinguist look over these writings. Our cartography scans indicate that we're close to the center of this... City? It must've been a major metropolitan area, judging by the sheer scope. It'll take years to fully excavate."

A:"Judging by all these signs, literacy was not a problem for these folks. Oh! I know that word! 'Applied'. Resik's team sent some notes from their dig out on one of the other continents. Wait, let me see if that other word is in the translated materials... Yes! 'Cryogenics'. We're going to be poking around in there?"

C:"Correct. Scans indicate a high volume of nitrogen, which may have preserved a great deal. Of what, is our job to find out today. Alright. Keep chatter to a minimum. Once we go in, we start logging everything."

T & A: "Roger that"

C:"Entering the site now. Structure is largely intact. Large empty sections in the walls with cubes of some laminated silicate material. Fibrous materials on the floor, some synthetic material. Bagging sample, refID: 20-A. A degraded structure in the center of the entry chamber appears to have been some sort of cellulose composite. Sample refID: 20-B. Fascinating... Degraded sheets of another cellulose material with some fragmentary 3R orthography. Sample refID: 20-C. Some sort of... Perhaps a primitive terminal of some sort on the structure. 3D scan refID: 20-A.2. Field speculation, this structure was some manner of desk. Following hallway from entry chamber. Ancillary chambers stem from central hallway. Examination of each indicate some sort of primitive medical examination. Full mapping scanners have been placed for later analysis refIDs: 20-D through 20-J. Hallway terminates in remains of double doors of heavily corroded metal. Panel to the right side with a series of buttons with 3R Orthography. Field Speculation: Security of some sort. Scanning door and panel for refID: 20-k. Stopping Log to contact HQ. We may have to destroy this door to get through to the next chamber."

T: "Sir, you're going to want to see this. We ran some scans on one of the implements in one of the off-chambers. There's trace remains of some sort of organic compound and something else. High levels of glucose. It looks like some sort of pump."

C: "What... Get me a full spectrum analysis as soon as possible. If my guess is right, we may have a sample of biological materials of the species that built these ruins. Arrak! Set forcer charges at the corners of the doorway. Approval from up top. We'll cart one of the doors back for full alloy analysis. The site is well documented now. Retrieval Team will have their hands full with this place. "

A: "Alright! Charges set, T-20, get clear!"

-unintelligible-

C: "Good work. Get this dust settled. I want rotors here and here. Oh wow. Alright. We're going to need every Lighting drone we can spare. This chamber is huge."

T: "Roger. We've got 6 full racks. Deploying them now.... Are... Are those pods?!"

C: "Get those scanner drones up. Let's see what we're looking at. Log Resume. Primary Chamber has been opened. Scanners mapping, refIDs: 20-L through 20-T. A series of some sort of pod. They appear to have been connected to some now defunct power source... Oh. This is huge. These pods contain skeletons in incredible condition. Specimens are bipedal with a plantigrade structure to their lower appendages. This is incredible. Two arms. 10 digits... Judging by the skull, binocular vision, but it's possible that multiple eyes could reside in each socket. Dentition indicates a possibly omnivorous trophic niche. Initial observation of the skeletons indicate a wide array of minute differences from specimen to specimen. No immediate indicators of the population of this... Facility... At least, no clear sexual dimorphism. Perhaps an androgynous race? Oh... Scanners picked up a pod still powered?! This-"

-unintelligible-

C:"I can't believe what I'm seeing. Scanning active pod with intact specimen. After all this time, for a pod to still have power... Submitting full scan refID: 20-U, flag highest priority. If I'm understanding the readout on the pod correctly, this specimen is... Still alive. Still... Alive... This is huge. This is the biggest find on this planet. The biggest find in the history of our expedition to the outer galactic arm. I don't think the pod can be safely transported... End log. This requires immediate attention from HQ. We must secure this site and get a full extraction and medic team down here now. And I need to sit down."

My senses sharpen. I can feel my heart beating inside my chest, filling my entire body with the energy needed to stay alive.

My lungs are expanding ever so slightly as my breath is calming down.

My nose is tickling by the fluctuation of air pouring into my body.

My eyes.. oh boy. My eyes.

The colors are made of dancing matter. They swing around like there are no boundaries restricting them to the physical world.

I look behind the veil. The fog that is the stimulus processing of my calcified brain.

The answer to this question has never been easier.

"I. Am. My. Self."

"Listen, grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and honey...I hurt people" he said proudly. The two figures sat across the table from one another. One an unruly, unkempt mess of limbs and branches and the other in a sleek dress of cloth tucked neatly so no corners were visible.

The woman across the table seemed skeptical though, her brows furrowed in more confusion than impress.

"Ah a skeptic eh? Not the first. Give me something to showcase on then, oh madam." the more rugged of the two mocked.

The woman reached under the table at his command and withdrew a small, stone-like creature, setting it down with a plop.

He stared down to the toad.

She stared up to him.

The toad on the table stared to nothing in particular.

And after a very long and awkward moment shared between the three the man spoke up. "Ya gotta be kidding right? Thats a Bumpy Ridgeback. You think I'd kill a thing of such beauty? No, give me a man or something- oh..., or woman, Hemlock doesn't discriminate. " he reached down and rubbed the toads bumpy back, to which it seemed to calm.

Across the table the woman was trying to find the words to say before finally landing on "Look, I just I don't believe you. You're a druid, it's not particularly in your nature to be an assassin, now is it?" Her eyes were steel in their gaze, set on their insult.

Slowly Hemlock rose from his chair, his green eyes growing wild like a summer storm. "Nature? Nature?! Let me teach you a lesson in the world lady." Hemlock rocketed up from his seat, sending his chair back to the ground. "Nature doesn't have feeling. Doesn't consider the others pain. Nature. Is. Ruthless."

The woman still seemed unimpressed, her face a block of unmoving ice which only further fueled Hemlocks spew of venom.

"You ever hear the voices of the trees? Oh they beg. Beg and beg for more, for higher, to steal as much of the sun as they can. And each individual tree would gladly blot that sun out if it meant they could grow larger. You? Me? We are merely future dirt. And that's the mentality I bring!" spittle flew from Hemlock's mouth as he ranted. A vein on his head popped loose like a river through the desert, running along just underneath his skin.

"You want a demonstration?! Fine. Watch on then, oh ignorant one."

With toad still in hand Hemlock stared his power into it. It did not struggle against his will, it just withered. Withered and decayed into his hands until its skin began to flake off like leaves from an autumn tree, until it was no more than a pile of nothing. It's bones fertilizer for the next thing to come.

Then, from that pile, bits of green sprouted up into life once again.

For the first time in their back and forth the woman across the table showed some impress, or maybe fear. Her eyes had visibly widened at the display. Never had she seen such death. Such a casual way to kill.

Hemlock leaned in close, placing a dirt filled hand on his future employers shoulder. With a whisper he continued, "I could do the same to you, to anyone. Your men...or rather your piles of dirt outside are proof enough that I am not a hitman. I am nature."

Once again the woman searched for the words to say, but had only couple worthy of a reply: "You- You're hired."

200% anime harem moment

In order to be in a position to pay,

an individual has a role to play.

As in roleplay.

"The world is a stage [...]"

We all have gone our ways in life.

We gathered home, in our hive.

Together humanity will strive,

not going down without a fight.

In order to win, sacrifices must be made.

Cash is just a small sacrifice in order to save a life, isn't it?

It is.

edit: spelling

Man that sucks. It looks like I don't have the latest update then. That notification feature is great and should bring it back.

Where the bell used to sit on Mobile there's now two lines with one dot each on opposite ends. Tapping that will allow me to sort through the comments like New or Best and so on. No idea where the Bell icon is on mobile now.