Alright then thank tou

Dreams of Pelagy.

Hey I get that, I have ADHD too! It can be really hard for me to sit down and read- but for some reason writing is a little more engaging xD

Thank you for reading!

Here’s a quick update. Everything will be sorted out and more legible moving over to r/NoSleep

In case you don’t get notified of my comment: https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/z1ktv3/_/ixsfd7p/?context=1

I’m so happy you enjoy the story! Here’s an update about what’s coming.

Everything will be sorted out and more legible moving over to r/NoSleep

https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/z1ktv3/_/ixsfd7p/?context=1

Unless you use a pressure release valve. 😏

Cool shit. It's gonna be a long one. I think I'm at just over the halfway point right now

Hey everyone, thanks for reading!

I decided that I was having so much fun with the story that I want to make it a little more accessible. Reddit’s comment system is a strange, difficult way to tell stories. Eventually it gets a little hard to find stuff.

So, over the next few days I will be editing, polishing, and posting the chapters to r/nosleep

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read. More content is coming!

We stared one another down, neither of us blinking for some time. The angel's beak finally twisted as it smirked unnaturally for its disguise of choice. "Cousin! Tell me. How has it been?" I sighed as I stared off towards the bathroom where the young woman had gone some time ago, almost an hour by their measurements.

"I think my date ditched me." I sighed. "Oh, well. It's not like it was going very well anyways." I raised my hand to the waiter for the check. "Let me pay for this and we can go somewhere private to talk." The bird twittered happily as the poor deluded bastard hopped around happily on the open window sill.

After I paid I left the restaurant, my heavenly cousin flittering onto my shoulder to sit. I received some odd looks from the people passing by but I ignore them. I walked from the restaurant, down the road a ways and turned towards the entrance to the city's only patch of nature amidst all the gleaming metal and glass.

"So, talk. Angels don't take the form of birds for no reason at all." My cousin sighed and flew from my shoulder to a table in a secluded hollow. When it reached the plastic lattice work its form changed from a bird to that of a beautiful woman casually tossing a rush of long blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Fine. Down to business then. We need you to leave." I balked at her.

"Excuse me? I've been here for less than a week! And that's after my hiatus from the last time you bureaucrats kicked me off of this rock! Now you're demanding I leave again?" The air stilled around us as I flexed my already limited power to freeze the flow of time around us.

"Yes. You should know, better than any being, that your very presence upsets the balance of this universe. We work very tirelessly to maintain everything from the inertia of the cosmos to the inner workings of cells, constantly! And after the last war with the demon children of Lillith our numbers took another huge hit. We cannot afford to have something as chaotic and unbalancing as a horror walking about in the skin of a human!" The angel sighed and shook its head. "You were told this last time by Gabriel."

"I am not unbalancing anything and you should watch your tone with me, or you'll find out how Detriel felt when I incinerated him." The angel bristled.

"Just leave. Or else." I shook my head.

"You half-breed upstarts haven’t the authority nor the power to evict me. I left last time as a courtesy. Now, I'm staying. Whether you like it or not." I turned to leave, the angel's mouth hanging agape. "Oh, and tell Metatron that he still owes me a rematch on our chess game." Then I left the park, leaving the angel sputtering after me. I took a deep breath and unleashed the full extent of my influence on their precious cosmos, smirking as the sky began to darken.

"Let's have some fun."

Edit: spelling and slight sentence rewording

Yes, it is. It's from the Meet the Scout Team Fortress 2 video.

Hmm....self-righteous because angel, and vermin because pigeon. If we follow this pattern, then unworldy because eldritch horror, and abomination because human.

I know your gonna do amazing, also what's the book called?

Thank you so much! I am self-published through Amazon, just one book. I'm glad you and everyone else enjoyed what I wrote and I hope to write additional enjoyable stories in the future!

Ooooh! Is this the beginning of something? It seems like it could be.

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Yeah. Finally beat the game and wanted to see somone change it up

honestly I have no idea I think it can be put here

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The follow-up is almost done! Is there a sub I should put it in, that you know of? Or d'ya think I should be fine putting it here?

Pretty good,

Just one gripe that I have.

Stop using contractions in your more powerful moments. It takes away from their Importance.

For example "...for I'm your worst mistake."

Does not have the emphasis of the character, such that

"...for I am your worst mistake." would.

Using contractions makes your authoritive characters seem weaker, less important, more casual.

It's fine if say, your character was some average teenager or something. E.g. "Don't tell me what to do!" Sounds like they're throwing a tantrum.

But if a king were to say it, their words would be less threatening. Instead they would say "Do not tell me what to do!" It gives their words a power to it, a weight to their words.

Also, say you were doing an essay, and it had a minimum word limit, not using contractions can pad out your word count.

Brother i feel like this will be a good story if you decide to finish and your a really good writer, feels like you could be an author or are one

That was quick

Yep. Here's ADZE over the 110 for an example.

Part Four.

Part four?

Thank you thank you thank you