The creatures that followed them were demons.

And the end is just the demons talking after our heroes left.

The creature appeared weeks ago. I don't even know how many now. It's like it's been there forever. Just watching me, smiling, silently laughing at me. Other than that it left me alone. But was always there, floating two feet off the ground, watching me. No one else seemed to notice it. So I just ignored it as best I could most of the time. But today was different. I stopped at Horrorbucks to get a coffee.

I don't go very often cause it's overpriced and crappy but it was the closest place to me at time and I needed a pick me up. I sat down in a corner both, away from the door. I like to people watch while I enjoy my coffee.

In she walked. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She could make models cry. Behind her floated a creature too. I hadn't seen another one before. It looked the same but different. I couldn't tell why but I knew it was a little different than mine.

She ordered a coffee and walked over to the table next to mine and sat down. Neither of saying anything to the other but constantly looking out of the corner of our eyes at the others creature. Trying to figure out the difference, trying to figure out our similarities. Why do we have creatures, why are they almost identical, why us??

Then I heard the laughter for the first time but this was from her creature.

"Mwhahhaha. You both have the same desire little one. You both want to kill everyone here" said her creature. Not mine. I was shocked. Even more so when I realized she didn't hear it.

I moved to her table and introduced myself. "hi I'm Clyde, I don't know it's name. Who are you?"

"Hi Clyde, I'm Bonnie."

I love the mysteriousness of it all, swooping in to save the day and disappearing into the sunset riding your horse and strumming your guitar. Perfect.👍🥰

This is very confusing, did they turn into demons halfway through? And what's with the ending

I was really hoping to see this prompt turned into a good story, which can be kind of rare, and I was pleasantly surprised. Very nice.

「S T A N D O」

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This is really captivating! Especially for you being new to writing, you should definitely continue!

Anyone else read this in Brady's voice from how he speaks on hello internet?

I try my best to non-chalantly sip my coffee, but I watch as her eyes flicker from me to my Visitor. She seems to see him as well. A lump forms in my throat; all this time, I thought it was my brain slowly deteriorating, blaming me for the accident, but she sees it too. All I can think to do is observe her visitor. It shares an uncanny resemblance to mine, the only point of difference being its’ gender. Same unnervingly big build, same glowing yellow eyes, same tight, red skin that occasionally sends a spark shooting outwards. 3 arms, just like mine, and 2 hands on each arm. 3 legs, just like mine, and 2 feet on each leg. It looms over her, whispering in her ear and inaudibly laughing, when all of a sudden it makes contact with my Visitor. It breaks into hysterics, slumping on her shoulder and crying out, while she stiffens and tries her best not to pay attention. I look back at my Visitor, and she is not laughing. She is sitting there with the same sinister grin and yellow-eyed stare. Her eyes bore into mine, and her grin grows a fraction wider.

“Go talk to her,” She utters. Her raspy, deep voice shakes me to my core, but I am not brave enough to protest. I find my legs and make my way to her table, taking the seat across from the girl. Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t argue.

“Hello. What is your name?” she asks. Her words are slow and enunciated, as if she had practiced what she was going to say.

“Henry,” I respond, “And yours?”

Her face turns pale, and she sucks in a deep breath while conjuring up her response. “Alice,”

My heart beat stops. It couldn’t be. I look at my Visitor, who is now doubled over in laughter, and feel my lunch return to my mouth.

It was not a coincidence. That I was sure of.

“Alice,” I parrot, “Are we dead?”

“No,” She responds before I can finish my final word, “No. My name is Alice and your name is Henry. Alice and Henry are not dead. They are very much alive. And they both can see everyone’s visitors.”

“Sorry,” I start, “what do you mean everyone’s?”

She stops breathing, her face turning crimson red, “you only see mine?” She asks.

“Everyone has a visitor?” I counter.

She runs over my question in her mind before slowly responding.

“Yes. Everyone has a visitor. Most people have tiny visitors. I’ve never seen one over the size of an average book. Except, of course, for mine. And now, yours,” I keep my breathing even, though I feel as though I might faint. My legs feel weak, but I manage to choke out, “How long has yours been here?”

“Fifteen years.”

This story is awesome. Are you planning to do a part 5 to this?

I stayed on the beachfront the rest of the day, but didn’t really do much before going back into my room. Mostly thought about her.

I made it a rule not to go for women with boyfriends anyway. I wait around 20 minutes before, and just chat at first. Get to know them before putting on any charms.

Well…before her anyways. We clicked so well immediately. She wore a crop top with an anime character I liked, and we hit it off from there. We chatted for an hour before I even mentioned buying her a drink. We spoke all day and spent the night together- Then we spent the rest of the week together. She was traveling with her sisters, nice people I’m sure. I was only focused on her though.

I groan audibly into my pillow in my hotel room. Of course all this comes after the shock. It paralyzed me completely and I despised myself for it.

…Fuck it. The bar was still open right? I didn’t feel like bringing up another girl, just wanted to forget about her. As I slipped on some more presentable clothes I heard a knock on the door next to mine. Soon after I heard the door close. I walked out of my room to find-

It was her…as if my thoughts summoned her to me. We froze again, but it wasn’t like last time. She worse the same crop top….Thats when it hits me.

“You were….looking for me?” I rotate rooms in the hotel. All of them are on the highest floor, but every so often I switch.

She nods her head softly. “It was this room last time yeah? Was it….50 years ago?”

“Yeah, about that….I, um….a lot’s happened. Hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, a lot changes in 50 years doesn’t it? But I…just stay the same, heh…”

“Yeah…yeah, so do I.”

“Really? Well….um, do you….want to, um…”

“I’ll do whatever! Um, with you, I mean- God what the hell….”

“I KNOW RIGHT!? Seeing you just completely threw me, i didn’t know what to say in the restaurant. Then that guy came and started chatting me up….he didn’t really even say much, I just wanted a distraction….but, he’s gone now…”

“Oh, he’s not in like…a serious thing with you?”

“Oh, no not even….I didn’t think a serious thing was possible after, well….I became immortal.

That’s what YOU are right? Not some ghost or somethi-“

“Oh no, I’m the same…as you. And yeah I never thought of anything long term with anyone since that happened….um, well…..Until right now, actually.”

“Ah….Well…. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind when we first….um, were together. You were kinda closed off in that area though….do you remember?”

I….did remember. She asked for my contact information, and I joked that if she wanted to see me again, just…come back here.

“Yeah, I was…Um, yeah…I didn’t know at the ti- Wait, were you….at that time because, you said you didn’t want anything serious from when you became immortal, but then why did you…”

“Oh! Yeah, actually. I was a mortal when you met me. A while after that trip is when I was gifted Immortality. It was definitely a shock but….hah, I didn’t think I’d actually see you again when I came back. And when I was leaving and you saw me I knew you recognized me….I figured if it was true, then just outside of curiosity, I um….well, you know. Could try for something serious. With you.

If you want…I guess I haven’t been…doing this for as long, but I already feel lonely. I knew it’d come eventually, but…”

“Really? It’s probably because of the resort, but I never felt lonely.”

“Ah, I see.”

She shifted her posture, preparing to leave. “Then….um, I’m sorry for-“

“Wait…!

Um. I never want to feel that way….and I think, you could…um, stop me. From feeling that. Maybe.”

“…..Pfft- Random question, how many women have you spoken to, before immortality?”

“Wh- wha-“ THAT threw me for a loop. I probably looked like a deer in headlights to her.

“You’re good at flirting, but have you ever had an honest conversation with one before then?”

“I….well, honestly….”

She giggled softly, folding her arms. “Are you SURE you could handle something like this? An actual girlfriend?”

She was teasing(I was pretty sure-) but man, I… It was just like when I saw her again. Paralyzed completely.

“I want to try. I may never get this opportunity again, so…can we at least try?” I reached out my hand, almost desperately.

“Heh…I’m here for the rest of the week. If we….click, like before, I’ll extend my stay.”

“Oh, well I can pay for it…I can upgrade your room too even, if you don’t want to stay in mine.”

“Hmm….oh, speaking of, do you OWN this resort? Is that why you’re always here?”

“No, actually…I’ve had 300 years to gain wealth hah…buying out this room is much less of a hassle as buying, owning and maintaining the property.”

“Ooh, so drinks are on YOU all week~?”

“Hah, I suppose they can be…” I rubbed the back of my head, probably grinning like an idiot at her mischievous smirk.

“Come on then! Let’s toast to avoiding loneliness, non superficial connections-

And unlimited free drinks!!”

She pulled me along down to the bar, laughing as I held onto her hand.

Non superficial huh? That sounds like a slightly scary, but refreshing change of pace~

[Feedback on the story would be appreciated!🙏]

Pt1

She looks bored. I should talk to her. It wouldn’t be WEIRD to talk to her right?

I mean, its been 50 years right? She’s probably forgotten about me….I mean, maybe?

Despite all my experience- All 300 years, the next steps elude me.

I pick at the food on my table as I wonder what to do, or say. I feel like such an idiot now, c’mon, its not that hard….ah.

When I look back up, she has a guy on her arm. I can’t hear the conversation, but I see the look she gives him. They’re going up to her room.

A steady wave of relief washes over me, but also an undeniable wave of disappointment.

That is, until our eyes meet, and for a moment, time seems to freeze. Literally. Sounds around me stop, people fade, and its just me and her.

She looks surprised, her emerald eyes shimmering with recognition.

… ….. ……..”ir?

SIR?”

Ah, the waiter, he has my drink. A fruity cocktail, the same shade of blue as her bikini. Shimmering with the edible glitter, I look down at, and up from it, then back at her.

Or, where she was. She’s further along to the exit now, pulled by the door by her fling. She stops for a moment before closing the door…but doesn’t look back at me.

Well….there you have it.

I sigh, looking back down at the drink. I don’t have a taste for it now. I wave back the waiter and ask for a stiffer drink. Wonder what some liquid courage would’ve gotten me here.

Pt2 below!

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Fantastic!

Interesting. So where does the mana go between arteries and veins? Would it be distributed throughout the body via capillaries, like oxygen is?

HAHA! I love it! \,,/

Loved it as well the concept alone is beautiful and can be used to explain so many beacons of hope in our lives.

Especially if they can get sent backwards thru other people giving you a bit of hope on a bad day.

r/notOPbutok

Ok this was hilarious to read...thanks a lot for responding!

So every prompt you write for is your favorite? That's a great way to think about it!

But what kind of cake? 🤔

>I sighed very loudly and took a bite

"What an interesting flavor. Like a savory gobstopper."

He howled in pain as I watched the remarkable regenerative abilities at work. "Why!? Damnit!"

As he was regaining his bearings and gazing up to the darkening sky I replied, "I simply wanted to see for myself."

The beast before me began to bubble and sprout, bursting into a writhing mass of tentacles, as the moon blocked out the sun. Glaring at me he muttered, "Cthulhu, I thought we were friends."

Remarkable story u/SirPiecemaker. I hope you don't mind this little addition. :)

“The verdict has been made and approved,” the monstrosity's voice boomed, reverberating to the core of his bones. “You’ve been deemed worthy of Heaven. Your good deeds outweighed the bad ones — you’ve inspired millions to repent. Your words and actions led people to seek the truth of afterlife.”

“That’s complete and utter bullshit,” snarled Villain, baring his teeth. Any unease he might have felt at the way his stomach warbled in the sheer presence of the monstrosity was washed away by the heat of his own outrage. “They did that because they were fucking terrified of me. I killed them, and you know it damn well! You don’t get to erase all that I’ve achieved solely because of your ridiculous whims!”

The monstrosity’s main eye — or what Villain assumed to be a main eye, the size of a tire, encased in multiple, bigger-than-Villain’s-entire-body spinning rings which were also dotted in smaller eyes that flickered around randomly — focused on him.

“The verdict has been made,” it repeated blankly.

“I’ve killed people,” barked Villain. His fingers twitched, but he wasn’t quite stupid enough to attack the thing outright. “I’ve tortured people. I’ve held them hostage, I kidnapped them, their families, their kids. I’ve made them beg for forgiveness while they’ve done nothing wrong — I’ve broken them and pieced them back together, solely to break them for the second time. Shit, if your holy book was a bucket list, I’d have checked all of it off thrice over by the time I reached twenty!"

“Good deeds outweighs the bad deeds,” the monstrosity just told him. It didn’t seem quite interested in what he was ranting about.

Villain gritted his teeth. He couldn’t even feel pain in this Gods-forsaken place, not even as he clamped his jaw hard enough that in a normal place they’d ache.

“Where is Hero?” he spat out finally, glancing grumpily at the idyllic landscape spilling out everywhere his gaze could reach. “Perhaps I shall find them and find out just how many times over can you die in Heaven. Or how far you can injure someone before your miraculous pain resistance wears off."

This gave the monstrosity a pause. Its eye spun like a soccer ball between all the rings before refocusing on Villain.

“Hero is currently located in the fourth ring of Hell,” it said pleasantly.

Villain blinked. “Excuse you?” he snapped. His fingers curled into fists, knuckles paling. “Hero — the saint, helping-grandmas-in-crossing-roads and saving-little-kittens Hero is in Hell?”

“Correct."

“I want a switch,” he managed through his teeth, barely contained rage dripping from his voice. “That’s the good, martyr thing to do, yes? I want to switch. Give Hero here, I’ll go to Hell.”

The monstrosity stayed quiet for a second and then its rings flipped a bit faster, the eyes on them blinking with dizzying speed.

“Correct, that is a good, martyr thing to do,” it murmured, “another good deed to your account, Mr Villain. I congratulate you. Unfortunately, a switch is impossible. Hero is not only judged of his own misdeeds, he also willingly stepped up to take accountability for yours due to the guilt of not having stopped you sooner. It is his penance."

Villain felt like tearing the hair out of his head.

“So what — I, who spent my entire life torturing and killing others, who sacrificed everything for my work, am supposed to sit my ass in Heaven with all the bundled toddlers and grandmas in smelly bonnets while Hero gets credit for all I've done? For all I've achieved, for all the terror I've brought?” He slammed his hands against his things, anger only rising at the complete lack of pain it brought. "Where’s your famed fucking judgement, you stupid pile of sentient rings?!”

“The verdict has been made,” the monstrosity said for the third time.

Villain opened his mouth, ready to cuss it out properly, but it didn’t stick around to wait. Its main eye turned away from him and the rings jingled — the sound grating in the absolute silence — and the next moment, it was completely gone, like a switch had been flicked on.

Villain cussed it out anyway. The landscape, beautiful and oh-so-irritating, seemed to mock him with its sun kissed hills and flowers with impossibly iridescent, delicate petals.

It didn’t matter. Villain was not letting the soft-hearted, dim-witted Hero claim credit for his life's work, whether it took him tearing down Heaven itself to accomplish that.

He’d always been great at tearing institutions down, in any case. It was time to put his skills to good use — not even Hell would stop him from ripping the Hero apart, piece by piece.

I imagined the apparition as two things - both as someone who is struggling with mental illness and mental illness itself, based on some of my own (meager) experiences. The smiling was both the fake smile of someone suffering, desperately trying to hide it and so forcing the expression, and it ultimately seeming hollow, insincere and indeed frightening, and at the same time, the horror of looking within and finding something terrifying staring back at you (i.e the reflections on surfaces).