I wonder what happened if I just decided to boycott. What would happen? Would the author of my life just simply stop writing if I decided to lay in bed for the rest of my life? Would the author be able to force me out of bed by just writing about it? Am I enslaved to whatever the author says I have to do?

I decide to try it. I don't want to solve a mystery that has no real world implications, it obviously doesn't matter if I am just a character in a book. I lay in bed and just stare at the ceiling. As I do I begin to wonder... But what if maybe this is part of the author's story. What if he is writing for me to lay in bed and contemplate my existence and if any of it matters? I almost sit up in rebellion, but then think about what if that is the author again, making me realize his plan in an effort to get me out of bed. Nice try author. I'm staying in bed. I don't play by your rules. I'm going to stay in bed and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Your book will not get a third act as I am not going to solve any case for you. Sorry bro. Or sis.

Is this creator a man or woman I wonder? I could probably figure out if you are male or female, I am a famous detective after all. I'm sure there is some evidence that could lead me to learn more about you. But no! I am a retired detective! I am not going to solve any more mysteries, I don't care. I just want to lay in bed and watch YouTube on my phone. You can't do anything to stop me.

I think about the case I left behind. How a dozen children have been lost and may die unless we solve the riddles left behind. I remind myself that the children aren't real. That the kidnapping isn't real. How none of it matters. We are just a story for idiots to read for pleasure. Well I hope you people enjoy a story about a guy laying in bed forever! A story about a guy who let a dozen children die because he had an existential crisis! Let's see if that book ends up selling!

Detective Planter and the Existential Crisis Resulting in a Dozen Dead Children went on to sell 80 million copies worldwide

I read this once, like 15 years ago. I still remember it and it still gives me chills thinking about it. It's just so completely unsettling. I refuse to touch anything he's got going on.

I think what the other commenters are trying to say is that no one would have instantly jumped to that conclusion and felt "terror and fear" and " throw the book on the floor". They would have first thought about things that are much more likely explanations at first, and thought about the other stuff after those didn't pan out, so it really didn't make sense and felt much too far-fetched.

I really liked it. I loved how they discovered

The 'passive' aspect of his power reminded me a little of Keepsie's.... A good story about a barkeep with a very low ranked power. :-)

It was a miricale that John got a book publishing deal. I don't how he pulled it off, but for whatever reason. I'm so happy for him.

He told me it was his dream to publish a book. I already had an idea of what he was writing about. The style he was going for wasn't my cup of tea.

I like books that are sweet, filled with love, and have happy endings. That kind that pulls your heart, filling your stomach with butterflies.

His style was more dark, it pulls you in for a ride your not ready for. It left sprinkles of sweetness in the story, but it felt liked it was forced in.

I didn't want to read what he wrote. I told him how it made me feel and eventually he stop giving me a draft.

It wasn't until a year later when he published his book.

I forgot about it. I wouldn't have remember if it wasn't for my coworker. Sally ranted to me that it was the most tear-jerking, disgusting and the most romantic srory she has ever read. I ask for the name of the book. She told me the name and author of the book.

I recongnize the author, it was my husbands pen name.

I asked Sally if I should read the book too. She was hesitant. She was pondering on the decision. She told me yes, but ready your heart.

After work, I stopped by the bookstore and asked for the book. The librarian nodded and retrive it for me. I grabbed the book from her hands. As i head for the door the librarian told me, "Be ready for the wonderful tale." I just waved back and walked off.

I wanted to read before i got home. I wanted to know what John wrote. I don't like theae kinds of books. But for my husband, I'll read it.

I don't have words to describe what I just read. From this however, I learned a lot of things about John. The way he weaved his words into my soul, crushing it and sooting it at the same time. About the ugliness and the beauty of it. I also know how he got the publishing job.

My legs are shaking, am I really scared to go back home? To meet John?

I was left with a question from the book, why? The book didn't answer it.

I'll meet John to get that answered.

I made it home the smell of the food penetrated my nose with an alluring aroma. John was in the kitchen, making dinner ready for tonight.

"Welcome home, your just in time for dinner. Foods hot and ready." John was smiling like he always does, it has another meaning after reading the book.

"Hey John... i read your book."

John paused in place. His face is not in view, i can't tell what he is thinking.

I asked him " Was everything in the book true?"

"Yes."

"All the stuff about your coworkers?"

"Yes."

"John if you needed help, I could've-"

"No."

"But why John!?"

John refused to show me his emotion, he brought out a bag and dig around in it before pulling out a book. The exact book I had in my hand. He handed it to me.

"John I already read-"

the cover was diffrent. It didn't have the words of the title nor did it have his pen name. All it said was:

To Janet,

My Loving Wife

I carefully grabbed the book and start reading.

I got lost in it, it was sweet, every word in the page it filled with love, not only I got the the butterflies, I got the tinglies too. The little girl inside me was jumping with joy. The story was about me and John living happly ever after. A tear left me with joy.

"This is the reason why. I wanted to tell my love about you. I didn't want anyone else finding out about how much I love you. I learned it was embarrasing for me to tell that in public. I wanted you to know anyway. I wasn"t gping to give it to you half-washed. I waited till it was ready, till you were ready. To accept all of me."

I couldn't help but to accept him. He made me very happy.

My only wish is that I didn't know why he kept his mouth so clean.

-Jack Rock

Mmm kinda YTA. She probably has her reasons on why she doesn’t want to turn and that’s okay. The process of turning into a vampire, let alone the changes in your body, can be very devastating and can almost be critical if their body doesn’t handle it well. I had this same talk with my husband (and a very deep one too about this) before finally turning him. And let me tell you this, he was bedridden for weeks on end after our wedding.

The poor thing was feverish and in constant pain before feeling that constant hunger that couldn’t be satiated. (Good thing for the extra blood packs). The pain got bad to where he legit was sobbing. Not only that, he was now considered “dead” as the humans would dub us, so he couldn’t really use pain killers.

Plus it’s rude to push our tradition onto other who are really accustomed to our tradition. Especially mortals. Had to learn that myself too, don’t worry.

You also are just following tradition on which she also does not understand, but the thing is this is the 21st century now. Not the 18th century. A lot of things have changed now. But i really do hope you and your soon-to-be-wife talk through this and discuss about it!

It's a Japanese manga called the enigma of Amigara fault. Junji ito is generally considered a modern master of horror, and he does indeed terrify me.

Edit: it's a short story, meaning one or two tomes only. So if you're curious about the reputation of master this guy has, it's an excellent way to verify for yourself.

And give up any hope for restful sleep

Mix!! it just means non binary !!

I was dating a human for a while and the only upside to keeping it human is the blood availability. Honestly everything else about them annoys me.

Well, I enjoyed it.

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Wow, I liked the tone and plot of this one

I walked little Suzy out to her parents car. I've been her teacher all year and haven't met her mom yet. She has missed every parent teacher conference. Only responds by email, usually late at night. So there's always a delay in communication. Which is ok. I'm up late. Being one of the big 3 heroes means a lot of late nights, being a teacher means a lot of late nights. I basically don't sleep much.

"Moooom!" Yells Suzy as she goes running across the parking lot. At this point all I knew about Suzy home life was that she had a single mom that works a lot. Suzy, unlike most of my kids, doesn't talk about home much. Usually that's a sign of trouble at home but I don't get that feeling from Suzy.

"Hi Ms. Patterson, I'm Ms. Jones" I say while walking up to the car. I gotta keep it brief, Mrs Fantastic is needed in the city tonight. There are rumors that the Dark Queen is planning a bank robbery.

Suzy's mom looks up and I see her, for the first time I'm meeting her mom and I immediately recognize her. Her mom is the Dark Queen. "Oh shit" I whisper.

"Hi Ms Jones, so nice to meet you. Suzy, you didn't tell me how pretty Ms Jones is "

Is she really flirting with me right now? OMG

"Thank you." I don't know what else to say. Yes she's attractive, I've always thought that of the Dark Queen but she's literally the leader of the Knights of Chaos. The reason we're always so busy at night.

"Suzy honey go ahead and get in the car. I want a quick minute with Ms Jones"

Suzy jumped in the car without a word.

"How about coffee tonight Ms Jones or should I say Fantastic?"

"Coffee? Really? You're asking me on a date? You of all people know I have work tonight. "

"True but if I'm having coffee with you, then there's no reason for you to work tonight. You know exactly where I am at"

It made sense. So I agreed.

That was five years ago. Now I'm the Light Queen. The heroes all answer to me. The criminals all answer to my wife. Murders are down 90%, the city is safer than ever, and only one news anchor ever questions why I can't seem to stop the Dark Queen. Of course we laugh about it after our battles, when we're home with our little Suzy.

Bodily autonomy is about choice, not what "is best/worst/good/bad". Not wanting to do something is enough reason.

As I finish the book, I am confused by what I just read. I have to double check the cover a few times to make absolutely sure that I picked up the right book? Could this really be the right book? The draft that I read was a self-help book about how to organize your life and find inner peace through organization. It didn't have any mention of any dragons. And it certainly didn't have any male dragon on male dragon erotica.

I start thinking about what this could mean. Is this her way of saying that she is unsatisfied? Does she want me to dress like a dragon? If she does would I be willing to do it? I don't know, I guess I could.... Sounds like a hell of a costume. Where do I even go for such a thing.

Maybe I am overthinking it. Maybe she doesn't want me to dress up at all. Maybe it is something else. I remember how vividly she described the dragons. How they had length and girth and veins. The monstrosity and power of the size. You know what, never mind. I'm gonna go with that she wants me to dress up as a dragon. Final answer. That is definitely it and nobody is going to change my mind. And if anyone even whispers "male fragility" I swear I will go slap city on you.

Sighing, I realize that the truth is I am just going to have to talk to her. Why would she hide this from me? Why is this a completely different book from what she said she was writing? And why did the one dragon breathe fire up the other dragon's bunghole?

I hear the garage and know that she has arrived.

I approached her with a smile and held the book up signaling that I bought it.

She smiles back but questions why I bought it when I've already read it at home.

I tell her the final draft was significantly different from the version I read.

She tells me the editor probably made a few final edits.

I tell her that she should try opening it up if she hasn't already.

And she does. At first there was confusion. Then shock. Then anger.

She is on the phone with her editor, her publicist, her agent. She is yelling about the smut that ended up in her book. There is confusion all around. Nobody knows how it happened. And the main thing that I think is that I guess I painted my balls green for nothing.

Could you share that? I’m a veteran when it comes to horror and am not easily impressed, which kind off sucks sometimes. Would love to read that!

You're fine, keep it how it is as it makes more sense. Having said that, it would have been funny if both their watches beeped at the same time. The implication being that every single superhero and villain starts at the exact same time, them treating the job part of "night job" literally.

You might need to... I don't know how to say it "Sharpen the implication?" I don't know. I didn't read it because formatting. It's just a wall of text. You need to double space your paragraphs.

Like this to make them drop lines.

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I really liked this. And this seems very much on point for the characters.

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Oh god. There's a lot to tackle here. As a human who's currently in a serious relationship a vampire and planning to propose this week...

You should have told her first. This is one of the first things Jake (M21) told me. (Jake's mother was a human who got married in 1957. She had Jake in 2000. That's why he's so young.) He said that if I didn't want to marry him, that was okay, and everything could be chill and we could be a fling until I broke up with him and/or died.

I (F20) am from a really orthodox Hindu family. I, obviously, really want to get married because of my tradition. However, this also allows me to sympathize with him. I understand his tradition as well. We're planning on doing a Hindu wedding and, later, a Vamp wedding.

Jake's Vamp lineage traces all the way back to Hungary and Oslo, actually. After that, we can't find anything more, and DNA tests just give us a barrage of random information that isn't very helpful. (Yes, I know I'm 100% Malayali. They don't know where he's from at all, though, so it doesn't work for us.) It's not very helpful.

Luckily for me, the whole "garlic" thing is something we have in common, because Orthodox Hindu families don't eat garlic. Unfortunately, I love garlic. (I eat it in secret. I discovered it in college.) When Jake first tasted garlic -- before I knew he was Vamp -- he loved it. And then, he broke out into hives, and I used my epi on him. (It worked!)

But, enough about me, let's talk about you.

You should have told your (hopefully) future bride about that at first. Have you considered a "commitment ceremony"? It's something people do when they can't get married for legal reasons. Or, perhaps, you could have a wedding in her faith and then in yours. Jake's cousin Silas (M172) and his wife Ruth (F52) had a Jewish wedding and then, when she was 37, she got bit and is now stuck as a 37-year-old.

That's really all I can say. I think that I can't say much more. I am hesitant to label someone from a Vamp background that I don't know at all about as a jerk. But, because you didn't know better (and because she's being reasonable), NAH.

I know that. I would still have put Quickie as the answer of "What's for dinner?"

Quickie as in "A quick story" instead of a full blown entry.

Fin as in "The End".