Definitely interested in a part 3! You pace the story pretty well, it's long but with reason, you know? I love it! And I really wanna see that twist!

Orcs were known for banding together with dangerous creatures like wolf packs. Angorod envied his brother Skagra, his giant bear went well with the berserker, both could wipe a human army by themselves. The second brother, Thresher, had raised a baby mammoth to serve as a moving fortress for the vulnerable tribespeople.

"I want a pet too." And that's how he got Tweety.

How does one tame a cockatrice, you ask? Angorod was lucky that Margot taught him familiar binding, and that Tweety was a newborn when he did so. These ferocious creatures were the bane of many rookies, with a chicken head on front and a snake head behind, they had no blindside.

The snake had potent venom and could apply temporary paralysis with its magic eyes, buffed by the poisoned spurs of the chicken that lengthened the numbness and had hemolytic agents. Plus, inexperienced hunters aimed at the bird, but the snake tail was the true body.

Angorod had used arrows to kill a lone hen and gathered the eggs for later. Tweety had just pipped his egg and evaded becoming omelette. The fluffy chick and teeny snake endeared the orc, despite freezing his body out of instinct for several minutes.

The rooster grew quickly and turned into a fast ride for the orc. Although the gluttonous little shit had gobbled some of his ingredients. Hmm, should he look into taming a water creature, or a true flying beast? Time to plan his next hunts to try and find a baby monster to tame...

[removed]

I smiled as I finished my afternoon class on advanced mathematics and as my eyes traveled over my students I felt a sense of pride surge through me. These were some off the best students at the school. All of them ahead in terms of grades and behaviour, they were the kind off kids that most did not think existed anymore. I found myself lucky enough to teach them. When I had taken my second job as a part time teacher I thought I would be given the trouble makers and class clowns, but my math skills had saved me.

My first job as one of the area's best superheroes had given me plenty of work in the evening, but not as much during day time. Especially after the council of villains and the league of heroes had signed a pact to mostly play by the same rules, there had of course been the odd villain or hero who refused, but they had promptly been put in place by others.

Suddenly there was a quiet voice behind me who asked "Mr. Bracken. Can you help me with that last question? I didn't fully understand it". I turned around and saw the quiet, but brilliant young woman named Mina. I smiled at her and said "of course Mina, but that will have to be on the way out, is that okay?". Mina nodded and after I packed my things we walked down the hallway as I explained "So, the main thing is to think about how to apply this in real life. It's used to calculate the volume of a cone. Think of it as calculating the surface of every layer. The formula is simply enough to use once you understand it". I took a step in front of Mina and held the door open for her, and once she was outside I followed and continued "I would advise to think about it that way, and try plugging in some numbers just to test. I bet you will have it figured out in no time".

Mina nodded before she waved at someone in a car. As the car door opened I stopped dead in my tracks. The woman who exited the car was none other than my nemesis Inferno, but she was in a business suit and not her costume. Mina however did not see me stop and she called out "hey mum. This is Mr. Bracken, my extra math teacher. Sorry if I held you up, he was just explaining something". Inferno looked just as shocked as me, but she quickly played it off and said in a sweet voice "that sounds lovely Mina, is Mr. Bracken a good teacher?". Mina nodded, and as I slowly got over the shook myself I cleared my throat and asked "Miss, Brady was it? May I have a word with you about Mina's progression in my last?". Inferno nodded and followed me back to the school building.

Once inside an empty class I turned to her and said through gritted teeth "what the hell did you do to her real mother?". If looks could kill I would have died right there, instead Inferno kept her cool, though her skin had started to lightly smoke in some places as she said in a venomous tone "I am her mother Terra. If you try anything with her I will burn down this whole school with everyone in it". I narrowed my eyes at her and said "we both signed the documents and contracts that Transistor worked out. Besides, I will never harm any student here. This might be my second job, but I choose this with care Inferno, and if you make a threat like that again I will bury you alive in an unmarked grave where you would rot away slowly".

Before we could spit more words at each other someone had just knocked at the door. We both turned to see Mina who had just opened the door. I smiled at her and said in a voice that might have been a bit too pleasant "Hey there Mina. Sorry we took so long. I was just telling your mother how quickly you progressed in my class since you joined. It's really impressive, Miss. Brady". Inferno smiled back as she said "Mina has always been such a smart and kind girl. I'm sure she will be at the top of your class soon". Mina blushed at these compliments, and said to her mother "mum. Can we go now? I don't want to be late. There is a superhero exhibit down at the museum. I heard that the crimson rose might be there. I really want her autograph".

As the two exited the classroom I chuckled and said to myself "the great villain Inferno has a daughter who wants to be a hero. Oh well. Maybe that is the irony of life".

That was delicious! Pani would be a star on the prorevenge subreddit.

If we are trying to be real here, then Souperior would have never even been able to touch the meteor, and even if he was, the damage would have already been done by the time the meteor is ~2.5 meters from impact.

When faced with stories like this, it's best to just accept it and enjoy the ride x)

I politley ask you continue, also I love the breaking bad jokes it goes haha funny

I used my last "Q". Quargle. There. I was thrilled to have finally yskxjedmed against my slwoie but really owksjo of the future qowkdos. Now we could never oqjyu the words we slskde oqjyued for whatever we flwowoed to them as. What if so many sowks and their rhyme schemes were ruined? Oh, well, I'd do anything for some sksiwi.

​

Translated:

​

I used my last "Q". Potato. There. I was thrilled to have finally won against my brother but really afraid of the future consequences. Now we could never use the words we once used for whatever we referred to them as. What if so many poems and their rhyme schemes were ruined? Oh, well, I do anything for some...."

​

What do you think "sksiwi" means?

Need grilled cheese sandwiches to go with that soup!

Holy crap this is funny as hell! 😂😂

There's an XKCD for this.

https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/

What if a rainstorm dropped all its water in one big droplet...

Spoiler-alert, The answer is somewhere on the order of a megaton-range nuclear blast for half a cubic kilometer of water.

A dinosaur-killing meteor a dozen times bigger turned into more-or-less-water would clear the soil down to the bedrock for tens of miles, and flatten everything for thousands of miles radius, flash-flood half a continent, move mountains..

And that's assuming it started at 0 velocity a few kilometers up.
If it keeps any of its momentum it's just going to be worse.

I prefer vichyssoise when it comes to cold soup.🥔🥣

Which one was the accomplice talking to?

Why would the hero listening be a bad thing?

Seems like there's a story beat missing where the hero manages to convince the villain of something.

"Urgoss! Urgoss!" I was woken from my slumber, neither like death nor truly like sleep, by the chanting of myriad tiny voices. I'm not sure if I was awoken due to the gathering of intent focused on me, or the fact that they were mispronouncing my voice just enough to be irritating. In all fairness, they may be incapable of pronouncing the sounds, or lack the appropriate vocalization organs.

They showed no signs of stopping, only growing louder. So I peered forth at them from what they would call 'nowhere'. "Urgoss Stirs!" A voice shouted. Gathered in my vision were tiny little things with four physical limbs, and only two physical eyes, capable only of perceiving the physical plane. Yet somehow they knew my name and could tell I had seen them... that was adorable!

So through the opening I extruded a portion of myself that they could see. All of them bowed their heads to the ground. Aww, they think they're unworthy to see me! But why else would I manifest like this? I began to speak, and many of them fell over twitching and writhing... oh that's not good. It's been a while, so it's hard for me to remember how to communicate with such beings in manner that's... compatible.

A few tries, and a few more twitching little beings later I finally got it ready. "I take this form so you may gaze upon and know me." Their heads all raised reverently. I was trying to be casual with them, but I guess my thoughts sounded quite formal when transmitted to audible waves. "For what purpose dost thou entreat Ur'gh@ss;ect"?

"We seek to worship you, to gain your favor! To partake of your gifts of power and wisdom" It took a while for me to figure out what they were talking about. But only a moment from their perspective.

These were HUMANS! It had been a great long while. The toys I used to distract and play with them so long ago... great gifts of power and wisdom? I laughed. It was a great, reverberating wave of energy that sent several of them trembling.

Why not, they were amusing creatures to play with. So I began to gather up the essence of what they called 'fire' in a form that wouldn't hurt any of them. Some of the others had been irritated when I tossed them the first essence. But hey, it was so cute seeing what they did with it. I tossed it forth, giving them another 'gift of fire', and they gathered around it in awe. Watching them treat it as some great power was just what I'd needed after such a long slumber.

Souper tasty

Oh,

He went out a hero..

Mhmm.. now I kinda feel sad…

"Great. Do you prefer to chat over coffee, or beer?"

I see I'm not the only one that's been getting this stupid WSJ ad...

Not an expert but doesn’t that assume that the twins have been fingerprinted before if they haven’t then fingerprints won’t tell you much

Souperman :D

Bwahahaa!! :DD

[removed]

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

It would.

A comet is basically just a large chunk of water, carbon dioxide, methane, and ammonia.

Flabbergasted, the crowd just gawked at Soundwave's words. The Sinister Sisters also stood, mouths agape, as they processed what had just come out of the Hero's mouth. Did he really agree with them, or was this a delay tactic to buy time for other Heroes to join him? It couldn't be the latter, as he had been able to comfortably handle all three of them up to that point, but they couldn't fathom it being the former either. A Hero agreeing with Villains? Hell would freeze over, first!

In spite of the incomprehension of his foes, Soundwave once again spoke, "I am willing to hear you out, but I cannot condone your destructive methods. Disarm the device, and we shall discuss your points peacefully!"

The first to recover was the eldest of the Sinister Sisters, Karina. "You swear on your honour as a Hero, in front of all these witnesses, that you'll actually listen?"

"Karina, what're you doing?" hissed the youngest, Francesca. "He's gotta be lying. Heroes never listen!"

"What reason does he have to lie?" retorted Karina. "He's been kicking our arses thus far. We have nothing to lose."

"I don't trust him, either, but Karina's right," interjected Darla, the middle and final Sister. "He could have ended this already. I'll trust your judgement, Karina."

Taking the control out from her jacket pocket, Karina looked again at Soundwave, "Swear here and now that if I disarm the device you will not attack, and will listen to us!"

"I swear on my honour and name as a Hero. I will stand down once the device is no longer a danger to the people," he replied, raising his hands in the air. "You made a few good points, and I'm curious as to whether you actually have thought them out and are willing to take in other points of view, or if you're just trying to justify your destructive behaviour. I will give you the chance to convince me; fail to do so, and I will take you down."

With that guarantee that they'd get a chance, and the subsequent threat should they squander it, Karina nodded to her Sisters and keyed in the sequence on the device's controller to deactivate it. Maybe not all Heroes are self-righteous, stuck up pricks, she thought, confident that she and her Sisters could convince Soundwave as long as he wasn't lying.

extra points if the sword behaves like tf2 scout