My god this is really good. I'll check out the subreddit when I can. :)

Ain't Easy Being Cheesy

Twinkling Twilight home for senior citizens was a short drive outside of Star City. A lovely facility providing all the comforts of home for its residents, even the ones who couldn't remember their day to day lives. Terrance Thorne sat in the common area playing cards, as he was about to claim victory the attractive young nurse he constantly flirted with interrupted.

"Mr. Thorne you have a visitor. They want to see you out in the garden." Her soft voice melted Terrance's old heart, instead of raising his mast, getting old sucked.

"Are you sure, hot stuff? Nobody visits an old fart like me. Who is it?" Terrance asked, slowly propping himself up on his cane.

"They asked me not to say, wanted to keep it a surprise." The nurse replied. She took Terrance's free hand as the two slowly made their way to the back garden. Terrance's visitor had their back turned to him, he still recognized her from behind.

"What the fuck does she want?" Terrance grumbled aloud, pushing the nurse off him. "Leave us." He said with an air of menace. The nurse retreated, Terrance pushed forward. He loudly cleared his throat. "What are you doing here little Angie? Ain't seen you in decades, come to toss me into the slammer? Guess what, I'm already there."

Detective Angela Falcona turned to face the retired schmuck. She held up a picnic basket and smiled. "Hey T! Come on, this place ain't so bad. Hot little nurse you got, that's got to be a plus."

"Let's just say the rigging on the main mast doesn't work like it used to. I already ate lunch, at least I think I did." Terrance took a seat at the patio table in the center of the garden, most of his life was spent sedentary now, a far cry from his glory days of being feared by any who heard his name.

"Well maybe this will perk you up." Falcona said slyly as she opened the picnic basket. An overpowering odor burst from the basket, singeing the detective's nostrils. To Terrance, it smelled like heaven. His eyes widened as the wheel of cheese hit the table. He scooped it up, taking a deep whiff.

"Vioux Boulogne. Stinkiest of the stinky cheeses. Do you know what gives it that enticing aroma?" He asked excitedly.

Falcona pinched her nose, decades of smoking had destroyed her sense of smell, this stuff didn't care. "Enlighten me." She asked. Pinched nostrils causing the tone of her voice to rise.

"Unpasteurized cow milk is pre-salted then washed with beer. As it rots it releases it's intoxicating aromatics." Terrance clutched the cheese wheel tightly, resisting the urge to chomp through its rind.

"How poetic, I would say it smells like a septic tank." Falcona lit a smoke to cover the horrendous odor in the air.

Terrance narrowed his eyes at her. "Falcona's aren't known for giving gifts without wanting something in return. What's your angle?"

Falcona chuckled. Terrance didn't play the game anymore but he still knew how to play it. "I need the Terrible Turophile to come out of retirement for one last hurrah."

"Sorry little Angie. I'm that not person anymore. Find someone else to do your dirty work." Terrance tossed the wheel of cheese back on the table, despite his yearning to take a bite.

Falcona put the wheel back in the basket. "It's a pretty easy gig, all you really got to do is show up, rest will take care of itself. You'll be back in time for "Wheel of Fortune". But I can't make you do anything. Shame you won't hear me out, this basket is pretty heavy." Falcona produced another wheel of cheese.

Terrance's breath left his body. "Bitto Storico! How old is it?"

"Eight years."

"Then it must be taking on a spicier yet bitter taste. Oh I haven't had this in years, really takes me back. What's the job?" Terrance asked hesitantly.

"Pick a fight with Meteor Man. He's been feeling down lately, losing focus on being a hero. Once the schmucks learned how dumb he was they started to outsmart him. Nobody fights him anymore. Need someone to snap him back to reality, give him a challenge. If what my pa told me about you is true, you're the perfect man for the job. Since you ain't been around for awhile it ain't gonna rock the boat too much once you lose." Falcona chain smoked, the battle between stinky cheese and smoke continuing to wage in the air.

A resigned sigh left Terrance's lungs. "I'm too old to be fighting supers, that's a young man's game. Sorry, Angie."

Falcona gazed into Terrance's eyes, he had a good poker face. Good thing Falcona always kept aces up her sleeve. One last wheel of cheese. Terrance almost fell out of his chair, Falcona almost fainted at the disgusting "food". The pale yellow cheese writhed as if it were alive, something wriggled beneath its surface.

"Casu Marzu? It can't be. You can't import this, it's illegal, due to the maggots that live within, processing it to give it that.....ripe flavor. It's the only cheese I've never had the pleasure of consuming." Terrance rapidly spoke, his breathing heavy. "Damn you Angie, damn you to hell." He breathlessly choked out.

Falcona kept her stoic poker face on, she was certain that would have produced a yes. She had a hunch, needed to test it. With a flick of her wrist she opened her butterfly knife, slowly cutting into the Casu Marzu, maggots wriggled from the slice. Falcona threw up in her mouth a little, Terrance's mouth watered. "Come on, take a little bite." She held the small slice of cheese in front of Terrance's face.

Tears welled in Terrance's eyes. "I can't be the villain you need, Angie. I never wanted to disappear, end up in this crappy old folks home. It was out of my control."

Falcona dropped the piece of cheese on the table, she made a mental note to wash her hands extra long before leaving. "Someone keeping you caged?" She inquired.

Terrance wiped away a tear streaking down his wrinkled cheek. "I'm lactose intolerant."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this check out more at r/StarCityChronicles

Excellent take on the prompt. I have to wonder if his sacrifice made any difference in the end with the war on the other side :)

Evil Witch. Feh! I give orphans a home and they call me evil just because I’m blind, not as much of a looker as I was two hundred years ago, and live in the woods! What a joke.

“Miss Borda!” One of my children whines. It’s Muuly, sweet little girl, if she weren’t left handed it’s likely she’d be the talk of the town, all kind and bright.

“Yes?” I smile down in her direction. “And you don’t have to call me Miss, Muuly, I may not be married but we’re all a family here.”

“Ah! Thank you, Borda! Uhh… Oh! The knights from town are here again!” That’s not good.

“Thank you for telling me, Muuly, now go play with the others, I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Okay! Thank you, Miss Borda!” She laughs as she runs off. I chuckle a bit at her joke. I get up, crack my back, and head over to the front of the Underroot Coven Hall. Once it used to be the pride of the local witches but there hasn’t been a witch here besides myself since the Exaladrynthians built their little town in the valley.

“Yes?” I ask as I open the door.

“Borda the Witch.” A soldier in iron armour, designed to defend against magic, stands at the door, polearm in hand but not pointed at me. “According to intelligence reports, you are harbouring Prince Vreinas, age 18 as of today, at this address. I have been given authority to search the premises for him should you not surrender him voluntarily.”

“Vreinas? A prince? I do have a teenager named Vreinas here at the Hall with me, but he’s the most unprincely character you’d ever see, always wrestling in the dirt and acting humble. Are we talking about the same boy?”

“Unmistakably so.”

“Huff. He never said a word about his heritage. But I’ll go get him if you wish.”

“Your cooperation is appreciated.” The soldier nodded. I headed back inside and sent Sisiyam, a sprite girl I’d taken in recently, to call Vreinas. She zipped off and returned a few moments later with the lanky teenager in tow. I may be blind but even I could tell he was covered in soot.

“Ugh. Vreinas, stand still, someone’s here to see you and I can’t in good conscience let you meet them wearing the Dragon’s Doctor’s outfit.”

“Oh come on, Ma, it’s just a little ash!” I ignored that and tapped my cane, forming a swirling fog cloud around the boy and washing him fully. I led him back to the door and was surprised when the soldier brought his polearm down to aim at Vreinas’s chest.

“Prince Vreinas. According with the prophecy of the Royal Oracle, Princess Borean, you are to be executed before you raise an army, kill her to assume the throne, and cause the destruction of the Four Winds Dynast-“ he never finishes his spiel, I’ve already turned him into a frog, his polearm clattering to the ground.

“What was that?!” Vreinas stutters out.

“I turned my hand into fog, undid the back of his cuirass, and hit him with the spell.” I explain. “Honestly I don’t know why people make anti-magic armor so easy to take off.”

“No! The whole…” Vreinas struggles to find the words, “prophecy thing!”

“Oh that? The princess, your sister, was born evil.”

“What?!”

“Yes, she had her assistant leave you in the woods to get eaten by wolves, since as a prince you would be first for the throne even though you’re younger, but I adopted you before the wolves did.”

“And then… this guy?” He assuredly motions towards the frog, which is looking at its front legs in amphibian horror.

“I guess she found out about you alive. We’ll see more of them later on.”

“N-No! I gotta fix this!” Vreinas shouts. “I gotta find her! I gotta stop her! She’ll send more soldiers after you guys! And she’s evil!? She’d probably… I dunno! Eat everyone’s babies or turn everyone into skeletons! I’ll be back, Ma! I love you!” Aaand he’s already run off on a new adventure. Bless his heart, he always looked out for everyone in our family.

Might have

No crit—just listening to it at campfire and really admiring your descriptions and characters :)

This was gorgeous as always, Rainbow :)

That was an interesting twist , well done.

….. wow… awesome

Astounding work.

I'm currently reading 'A Practical Guide to Evil' and this was just the fix I needed - thank you xD

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My upvote was 666. Yes! Also, great name, Null. Clever writing. Emotional responses were had.

Never thought a story about an old man and a succubus would have me crying, but here we are. Thank you

I thought the pacing was good and the dialogue felt natural. The descriptions did a good job of putting me in the room. Great job!

I love this take! It inspired me to write a little alternate version for myself while I couldn’t sleep, and I haven’t written for fun in years.

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In Jamestown there is no crime. When the residents reach the age of 18 they go to the town hall, a large building where you can find statues of muscular men and women. They choose a power from a select list of powers.

Manuel was greatly disappointed when he saw that he had only 1 power to choose. He knew what that meant: With the power to fly he would have to do the job of being a weather balloon. 2 years later he is fed up being a weather balloon. He is telling his wife Rylie, who with superhuman strength and a superintellect is working in the construction industry that he is going to go to Eastontown where the council of superpowers is located and tell them that his power is shit and he will stop doing the job of being a weather balloon.

"Fine" she said while leaning on a table which has a tablecloth in a red white checkered pattern. And so Manuel spent the rest of his days unemployed and he never even flew again due to being upset of having been a weather balloon.

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For a second I legitimately thought that Warren Kole actually died in a shootout with the Mexican government and got extremely confused lol

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This was great, Astro. Particularly the office characterization—so easy to picture. And the ending was the right balance of a catchable reference with a little subtlety. Really well done

Rising smoke indicated my return.

I peered over the hilltop and saw the village razed by the king's army -- again. This occurred every 8 years when some jackass prophesized a gifted child who would be destined to overthrow the king. The king -- beyond stupid, egotistical, and trigger happy -- wastes the small villages that fit so-called description of the child.

The strongest communities rebuild, but unfortunately, the strongest ones end up being the poorest. The people don't have anywhere else to go. If they did, their lack of survival skills would lead them to a premature death. So they put back together their ram shackled houses and brace themselves for the next assault.

I returned to my hovel and withdrew a summoning tome from my stack of books and turned to Beahguillion. The page was crisp with no folds. The letters remained unfaded by the elements.

I performed the ritual. An abhorrent succubus walked through the summoning circle several hours later.

"It happened once more?" Beahgullion said and bit her lip.

"Yes. This will most likely be the last time. The king is beyond elderly and his health should fail him before the next wave of crazed 'gifted child' proclamations." I pointed behind me and towards the village.

She hissed. "You know, you could have beckoned me to deceive the king. I would have given him everything from riches to fulfilling all his sexual fantasies. And I would have torn his heart so badly that he'd --"

"Enough. The king has been without emotional connections since before the first time I called on evil. You would have given him more of what he already has. I have a cart near the trail that leads to the village. Now get to work, Beah. There's no rest for the wicked. You should know."

"Fine. And how long do I have to do it this time?" she asked.

"3 years. I've stocked it with some food blankets this time, but I expect you to help the farmers and tailors produce more. And of course, keep the men and women warm throughout the night." I gave her a mocking wink. "And don't worry about some of the villagers recalling the last time you provided them everything and took it away. Most died during the king's assault."

She sighed and walked out of the hovel. Her appearance changed from a creature from hell to a heartbreaking beautiful woman as she approached the man's cart.

I laughed inside knowing I burrowed under evil's skin with a loop hole. The presence of an ex-lover can provide solace for a fractionate moment under a specific circumstance. For instance, when one's soul has been crushed to powder.

“Uh, why?” I ask. It’s only then that I start to read the tone of the car as it steadily rises. In a facility dedicated to cutting edge technology, these elevators were always notoriously slow.

Only a couple of the men look at me. One of them smirked, probably knowing what was coming next and saw my presence as amusing. Another had a look that one could call the first attack, as he looked daggers at me in the most literal sense I could ever imagine. It’s Dave from security. I thought we were friends. I like to think that he was mad someone he cared about was about to be put at risk.

I look around the car, first at “Cap”, then at all the others as I say “Hey uh, I get off on 5, so, whatever is about to go down can you maybe ju-“

The first swing is thrown. He probably thought he caught Cap off guard as I had his full attention. I corner myself and brace myself as adrenaline takes over. My mind is moving light-speed, and all it’s telling me to do is stay still and watch closely for danger. The fight ensues, and one after another the soldier drops the men, including Dave. I have no idea why this is happening, or who is the “good guy” if any in this situation. All I know is that Cap is the only one who looked concerned about my presence.

It’s down to two, and in a desperate attempt, one of them grabs me and puts a gun to my head. It’s the guy that was smirking about me being there. Cap was basically mid punch, clenching the goon by the tie, when my captor yells “STOP!” Cap freezes and turns his attention to us. He knows the drill. Shield still attached at the forearm, he steps back and puts his hands up as the other goon backs up as well, drawing a gun on him. “Put the shield down. Now.” After a pause that feels like forever, Cap removes the shield from his arm slowly, brings his arm back, and throws the shield straight at the corner of the cart. It was probably only 3 seconds, but to me the shield kept bouncing. First the corner, then the wall adjacent before hitting the guy with a gun to my head. It immediately knocks him out, and flies from one skull to another, and thank God or whoever’s in charge these days that it wasn’t my skull. It goes without saying that Cap knew what he was doing.

With complete style, the shield bounces right from the last guy to cap’s arm. As he falls, the doors finally open. Floor 5. I don’t know what to say. A million responses come to my mind as I prep myself to get off the elevator.

“Uh, have a nice day” I say as I get off. “Yeah you too.”

Crap.

Aggh you're writing is so good, I wanted Argyle to become a lich so he could survive with the succubus. But that was very nicely wrapped up regardless.