P&P isn’t a romance novel, by our standards or back then either (it was and is a satire). The focus is on the social maladies even to the people who ascribe to them, that occur when one adheres to the social norms and how quite comical it can be when one chooses not to adhere to them, by just how silly and “romanticized” it can get.

That said, I don’t believe and didn’t read that passage as a “I’m not like other girls”, but more of “look how much he doesn’t think of me like the ones who approach him!” By now, Darcy has been SHOWN how judgmental he can be, and this scrutiny isn’t one based on sex (though we find that out later); but one based on pure character. Not even personality. If anything, he holds even his own little sister to this unspoken and private standard, one that is eventually shared with Elizabeth later in the novel. I believe one can fall for the setup of his pride, that Austen adopts. And read even into Elizabeth, our own sense of pride against Elizabeth’s prejudice.

It's the truth though, it's not that she was unarguably special, but she did not act like the other girls for Darcy. I think it's a silly thing to be mad about.

Pride and Prejudice is always going to be hailed as one of the best novels. There is something about the writing which helps it remain fresh after all these years.

You've definitely got an interesting discussion on here, do you mind if I crosspost to r/PrideandPrejudice?

I think that it is pointless to speculate on whether or not Darcy actually liked Elizabeth, because for all that Jane Austen is a brilliant satirist, she has no idea about how male attraction works and so none of the scenes which include Darcy have him come across as a real and functional man.

Not that any other women romance writer I have read is any better.

I don't understand why "I'm not like other girls" is criticized so much. It is a real thought that plagues many people. A writer like Jane Austen who was a genius at nuanced observations won't be dishonest with her writing.

And this is the one thing I feel amiss among genre romance readers. They seem to restrict the creativity of writers too much with idiotic shackles.

I always thought that Elizabeth meant that as a joke.

I wholly agree with you that it certainly sours me to Elizabeth, that not as a woman who loved a man for growing and changing and holding himself accountable by her standards, but that it’s very much cannon that she was utterly and overwhelmingly was falling in love when she visited his estate. But I also believe (maybe wrongly) that’s it’s what she sees there, not the material wealth, but the exact items she gazed upon that changes her mind about his wealth. Sort of like you deciding to donate to a philanthropist irregardless of his mansion, but because within it contain photos of the people and the causes they helped found and flourish.

I’ve always taken that particular passage as lovey dovey talk between two people who finally come together.

Personally, I was disappointed by Elizabeth when she tells Jane that she dates her love of Darcy to when she saw his beautiful grounds at Pemberly.

I wouldn’t say I agree with this interpretation - I think it’s equivalent to saying that when Elizabeth looks down on her younger sisters for being flighty/etc, it’s a “not like other girls” thing. But it’s not that, she just… correctly thinks her sisters are flighty/etc.

I guess it depends on how you understand “not like other girls.” Imo that implies a girl who’s trying to say she’s “one of the guys”, smarter/less shallow that all the other girls around her, has more “valid” priorities than the girls around her, etc. Lizzie… would never have been able to present herself as one of the guys even if she wanted to.

I think that quote is more about how Darcy would be surrounded by people who wanted to butter him up to take advantage of his wealth. Obviously in a marriage context all the people doing that would be women, which is why Elizabeth would have stood out because she acted differently than them. However, Darcy was also surrounded by men that wanted to take advantage of his wealth - for example, Wickham. But in a specifically marriage-centric context, Wickham and other men were irrelevant. Similarly I would say Wickham could be considered socially “crafty” - but as with the women that quote is alluding to, it’s not presented positively.

Idk I get what you’re saying but I think one of the things Austen does really well is show how the complicated social norms of interaction encouraged “social craftiness” but it’s actually better if people, both women and men, can just be honest with each other - but of course even social pressure aside that’s very hard for Austen’s characters to do.

No, this seems like an observation of a guy's behavior, not a statement of her own. It's true that people are often attracted to people they can't have, so probably she's just saying he's doing that.

I have this on my 'to read' list, but it almost sounds like the premise of Only Murders in the Building.

Compare Lizzy to Caroline Bingley. Lizzy can be seen as valuing herself. Caroline seems to only display her value in a narrow role capped by matrimony. I agree that Lizzy is not like other women we meet in the novel.

[deleted]

I mean, I don't think Elizabeth ever claims to be completely different from all other women. She's saying that in this one specific area she was different from many of the women of Darcy's acquaintance. She has reason to think that women have treated him this way because she watched Miss Bingley do exactly that. And of course, he was indifferent to Miss Bingley, despite her being attractive and intelligent and his best friend's sister. Really, Elizabeth's point is not really even about herself. She's making a point about Darcy, that despite his apparent pride, he actually didn't like to be flattered all the time. He chose the woman who didn't flatter him over the women who did, because he actually does value sincerity and like to be challenged--that's the point.

I think he was attracted to her first and foremost because she wasn't intimidated by him, and she wasn't coyly trying to "catch" him. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind to him because she wasn't interested in him as a potential partner. It freed her up to be herself and as a result she was more genuine than a lot of women in his sphere who had "set their caps for him," so to speak, (aka, Miss Bingley.) There was no pretention with Elizabeth. She let him see exactly who she was. It made their eventual romance so much more satisfying because it was based on who the two of them really were, and not any kind of pretense or façade that courting often creates and encourages.

Agreed. I love P&P, but sometimes feel that Lizzie is too perfect. I’ve grown more fond of Austen’s later characters, Emma and Anne Elliot.

She's not talking about superiority over other women, just the insincere social climbers who a person in Darcy's position would naturally find himself surrounded by.

I understand how you might see it that way but I don't think I ever did. To me, it's another example of Lizzie understanding Darcy's circumstances in a way other's didn't or wouldn't, which was presumably part of why he was attracted to her. She got right away how annoying it must be to be surrounded by sycophants. She misinterpreted his reactions to those circumstances in the beginning (hence the story), but she "got" the situation.

Remember though, Elizabeth didn't flatter Darcy because she disliked him. She was often trying to make him angry; she wasn't trying to be different.

She's almost saying that he likes being insulted 😅

I disagree...I think it's about class. Not because there are not women like Elizabeth. To phrase it shortly...there weren't women like Elizabeth...in the same class as Darcy, they were not taught to be educated and independent minded. They were taught to agree with their husband, play music, be beautiful, and be docile but competitive to their own sex to defend the reputation of their husbands. Lizzy knows this, she knows why she is a fish out of water, and she points this out to Darcy in a veiled demeaning statement about his "friends".

That the circumstance of womenhood that I imagine Austen was critiquing in her own life was just something predictably not Lizzy. I don't think she saw herself as anything but another middle income girl who read a lot of books probably at the end of her families wealth climb and her sister hopefully marrying someone rich so she can be prosperous. She likely does not feel she has value outside her intelligence due to the shadow of her sister and the way society sees them. I don't think she thinks she is "not like other girls" but she knows Darcy doesn't have the chance to be around other girls....and her breed in general IS RARE...because of the state of opinion at the time around women and education.

Whereas I think the modern context of "not like other girls" is just different. It's not about class, it's about narcissism and lack of awareness, in a time period where MOST GIRLS in the context these women are "othering" themselves...are very much just like them, only aesthetically chose something else. IE: Anime instead of Reality tv, books instead of social skills, etc. Generally superficial things that don't denote intelligence or substance of person.

I think she merely mentions women in the context of courting not as if other women are different. She's specifically assuming he's only courted other rich women from established families who were groomed in a manner as objects to be used as currency in familial exchanges and made to be desirable in obtuse ways...flattery and charisma over intelligence, wit, and tact.

Elizabeth is from a minor family...her parents didn't intend or teach her to flatter and kowtow to men because they have a different context and she wouldn't gain much of it and they really didn't NEED her to be anything, they had MANY daughters. Hence, she assumes Darcy likely has never interacted with a women like her because he likely doesn't talk to lower class people AND CERTAINLY would not ever be assumed to be courted by anyone but someone close to his class and stature...let alone a women who was allowed into her fathers study to educate herself.

She was born in a house of women and not the eldest of middle income (possibly lower-middle even though the middle class barely existed and wealth disparity and lifestyle between "upper" and "lower" was an insurmountable chasm). Their family didn't raise her in that way and allowed her the rights of a man (to read and enjoy education fully) because the rules of society really didn't much apply to them in the same way with the same weight. So to meet a girl like her was likely exceedingly rare for Darcy and hence his general distaste and distrust in their initial encounters. He's jaded. She knows it.

This is a very good way to put it.

Elizabeth really give us one of the best heroines in literature! I don’t think I’ve liked one better, so maybe she actually is not like other girls 😳🤌🏼✨

I agree with you- she definitely knows she’s an intelligent and attractive young woman, “my beauty you had early withstood,” and she’s proud of that fact (it can be seen in the way she talks about her mother and her younger sisters). She is so confident and fearless. But she is just too likeable a character to hold it against her- and becomes aware of her own/her family’s faults and is able to admit that- well that makes for a pretty great character.

I liked @mikarala’s take on it. It gives some perspective.

I don’t think it would fly in today’s culture. Though, I just realised that Lizzie also had relationships with Jane and Charlotte which were founded on mutual respect, so it’s probably more complicated than that.

I’m not like other girls behaviour is something that we grow out of at some point :) she would have been slightly boring if we were all praise for Lizzie all the time.