Recent comments in /f/newjersey

BeamStop23 t1_ja9haya wrote

Reply to comment by GoodLt in Student charged after bullied New Jersey school girl takes her own life by r4816

This is one of those things that only makes sense in writing. Reality is that it's no different than if you got in a brawl at a bar, restaurant, etc. You don't get to come back inside like nothing happened. Your tab gets closed and you are kicked out. Not having the rule simply leads to more violence. It's the same reason why self defense castle doctrine states are linked to having MORE murders than not, and these are adult brains. You are suggesting that you have 14 year old brains deciding whether or not they are justified in commiting violence, with the idea they can argue along with their 50 year parent with also the same brain as a 14 year old that they shouldn't receive any consequences. For every justified self defense action will be multiple more needless violence.

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target_meet_arrow t1_ja9ftij wrote

Reply to comment by Vividagger in Student charged after bullied New Jersey school girl takes her own life by r4816

>Maybe we grew up in different environments,

These are universal things so it doesn't matter. Personalities are mainly learned.

>I have known plenty of people who disregard anything and everything they are told, and do what they please, whether or not it is legal or socially acceptable, and these mentalities have followed them well into their adult lives. Some people just do not care, and that’s a fact.

Those people were not born that way. Basically all of what we understand about human psychology and development backs this up. Kids don't care because they were raised not to. Often that wasn't the goal but some methods of "discipline" backfire and have opposite effects.

> A child has the free will to either listen to their parent, or not.

And the parents have the power to tip the scales in their favor and teach about consequences and choices. Free will isn't as free as people think. People need and desire things from others.

>I don’t think the parent should be responsible if their child ignored their warnings and instructions.

That depends on the situation IMO.

>But you cannot hold someone responsible for someone else’s actions.

Yes you can. Both morally and legally.

>I live in the most densely populated state in the US, so maybe I’ve just had more exposure to these types of people than others have, but I wouldn’t say that the “I’ll do whatever I want” mentality is rare.

We are in the NJ sub. We live in the same state.

>but I wouldn’t say that the “I’ll do whatever I want” mentality is rare.

Your exposure to those types of people doesn't tell you anything about their home life and upbringing. Therapy and counseling can help some of these people unlearn behaviors that were taught in childhood via poor negative or positive reinforcement. If you can learn something it was probably learned to begin with.

You will find no reputable psychologists that say that some people are just bad beyond edge cases like psychopaths and sociopaths. Empathy and kindness are skills that are taught and nurtured.

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housespecialdelight t1_ja9e0zw wrote

Reply to Is It True That New Jersey has statewide public transit? by Sprinkles-Foreign

Depends where you work. Outside of NY some towns people do not have a car like Jersey City and Hoboken. Fairly easy to commute to NY if you were there. You can get other places in NJ through train or bus. I lived in Hoboken and in the summer took a train to the beach. You can rent a car too. You can get to places through transit but be prepared for transfers. Again it all really depends where you think you will get a job.

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Dozzi92 t1_ja9d0th wrote

Reply to comment by Hrekires in Who here owns residential and rents it out? thinking of buying a two-family in Rahway as it is getting very cute there. by [deleted]

Just to add on this, FEMA flood maps are due for a change very, very soon. They should be out already. IDA did a number on everything, and out of an abundance of caution I'd add 2 feet, at least to everything, as crazy as that sounds. NJ Hazard Mitigation plans are due 2025, and they'll need up-to-date maps to prepare them. So it should all be coming down the pike.

Yeah, sucks to think there's something else that would potentially hold up buying a home now.

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Vividagger t1_ja9d087 wrote

Reply to comment by target_meet_arrow in Student charged after bullied New Jersey school girl takes her own life by r4816

Maybe we grew up in different environments, but I have known plenty of people who disregard anything and everything they are told, and do what they please, whether or not it is legal or socially acceptable, and these mentalities have followed them well into their adult lives. Some people just do not care, and that’s a fact.

Minors are humans, and humans have free will. A child has the free will to either listen to their parent, or not. I don’t think the parent should be responsible if their child ignored their warnings and instructions. Now if a parent allows it, enables it, or contributes towards those bad/illegal behaviors, that would be different. But you cannot hold someone responsible for someone else’s actions.

And for reference, I live in the most densely populated state in the US, so maybe I’ve just had more exposure to these types of people than others have, but I wouldn’t say that the “I’ll do whatever I want” mentality is rare.

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