Uh oh. SBF is alledged to have diverted customer funds to invest in "Mysten Labs and fintech company Dave". $100m each.

Dave is publicly traded. Current price is 52 Week High $15, 52 Week Low $0.25. Soon to be even less if they claw back.

Current market cap of DAVE is about $102.6 million. Take away $100 million of that and there won’t be enough left to stay listed.

Puts on DAVE

Good idea. might be too late. :-D

Not sure puts would pay off when the company gets de-listed tho?

Dave?

The company is called Dave?

The Republic of Dave

ROFL-MAO Yes! Check this out https://investors.dave.com/

From the site. So much irony here...

Corporate Profile
Dave is on a mission to build products that level the financial playing field. The app launched in 2017 to help Americans avoid billions in overdraft fees charged by traditional banks. Now, Dave is a financial platform serving 10 million members with banking, financial insights, overdraft protection, building credit, and finding side hustles.

There must have been some point where SBF and his management team transitioned from running a mere ponzi scheme to thinking they had carte blanche to do whatever they wanted with the monopoly money they could create indefinitely.

For once, I actually want a docuseries about this. I understand people who had reasonable trust in this company lost dearly, but I think it would even make a great sitcom. This is hilarious. One of the companies was called "Dave"? Like, really? "Dave"?

We're going to have to add a whole new category of Daves.

True that

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Any documentary that doesn't go into the polycule thing they had going on is a failure in my book.

They also used tokenized stocks to manipulate the stock market

Oh, we need it all. If it takes two seasons, so be it.

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It's been done. Stars Lil Dicky as himself. Link

It's hilarious!

Dave’s not here man!

I understood that reference.

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This headline is a total puff piece to make SEC look good. It can easily be misinterpreted like the SEC was investigating FTX before the bankruptcy. They were not. Let’s be honest, not only did the SEC have no clue what was going on at FTX, the chairman of the SEC, Gary Gensler was meeting with SBF multiple times to regulate crypto in conditions favorable to FTX. And Alameda’s CEO father once worked with Gary Gensler. The whole thing stinks of corruption and the SEC is trying to wash it off.

I don't know what's going on with mainstream media. Back in November, they were on their hands and knees ready to suck-off SBF.

I'm sorry Dave...

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I understand what you're trying to do Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

$3.50 says cocaine is involved in the decision making process

Great show

>This headline is a total puff piece to make SEC look good.

The idea that CNBC is conspiring with the SEC to give it positive coverage is some hilarious stuff. Conspiratorial speculation is fun!

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Hello Dave

How can I help you?

Remember. This guy isn’t being punished because he stole people’s money. He’s being punished because he stole the wrong people’s money.

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This is turning out to be a huge indictment of regulation, and the securities industry at large - Fuck this kid. How was no one aware of the undertable dealing until now?

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Um no.

This is the equivalent of taking the McDonald’s cash float to invest in selling whoppers as a side gig while working the till at McDonald’s.

It’s so blatant, obvious and stupid that it can’t not be prosecuted.

Him stealing the wrong money just means the it won’t be house arrest.

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"Dave's not here..." -- Chong

Ah yes, run by President Daddy.

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cna i get sum context pls, wtf?

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Welcome to post-truth civilization. Reality is now whatever makes the biggest impact.

I hope whatever future civilization replaces us is unable to rectify ours

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

I feel old. Seeing how few get this line.

We are burning it all down. Any future civilization will be fighting over the last two sticks to rub together.

Well if the customers of FTX and other crypto exchanges bothered to read the news, or the disclosures when they signed up they would know that crypto is mostly unregulated. Crypto is not a security. "crypto" tokens are nothing but some numbers on a screen. If you want to trade greenbacks for fozzle-quarks, or moons, or Dogecoin then you can but it is your loss.

I recently watched the WeWork movie. It’s fucking crazy how after awhile these folks are fine with doing very wasteful and extravagant things with OPM. They lose all sense of what’s real. It’s worth a watch.

I fully expect that of this situation as well. Makes me wonder if we couldn't do a study to find the approximate dollars per unit of time income that stimulates one's god complex. Like, at precisely what amount of cash grab does the human brain give up conceiving that it could ever end?

10 million users with only 100 million between them?

Over the summer he was called "The J.P. Morgan of Crypto" because of his supposed power and influence over the industry, so that ties perfectly into your statement.

I don’t know, but sign me up, throw money at me, and I’ll let you know when I feel like the golden god!

… I’m a cheap date, it’ll probably only take a few hundred bucks.

Good catch. Classic MarCom.

I’ve thought about this too. Like the stories about fairly normal people that hit it big in the lottery and then are destitute and living on the streets in less than two years. It’s tragic but it’s their money that they made horrible decisions with. But to do this with other peoples’ money just blows my mind. Bernie Madoff did it in the most coldly calculating way. But this guy and the WeWork couple spent other peoples’ money like it was normal to buy jets and mansions instead of paying the electric bill.

My girlfriend and I take turns buying each lottery tickets. It’s our inside joke that we want to see how the other would handle a big windfall.

They better skip on the realism thing though and hire some beautiful Hollywood actresses or nobody will watch that.

Since nobody answered your question

Caroline, CEO of Alameda, tweeted about her regular use of amphetamines.

Source: https://nypost.com/2022/11/15/crypto-ceo-caroline-ellison-tweeted-about-regular-amphetamine-use/

In Nelson's Voice:

> Ha Ha.

Sounds like something from /r/imverysmart

Market cap != Customer funds

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I would watch if it's Danny DeVitto as Caroline Ellison!

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Isn’t Ritalin (ADHD medicine) low-level amphetamines?

I’m just reading about this for the first time. Passed by the headlines before but wasn’t really interested.

What I do find funny, regardless of the crime is that this white-collar crime requires someone to be (apparently) handcuffed and manhandled.

(And for the record, I’m not belittling the crime, people should get punished for their crimes, I’m just amused by the procedure)

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Or does it

One of the selling points of crypto has been its unregulated nature. FTX was based in the Bahamas for a reason. All of FTX’s investors knew that they were investing in an unregulated space — that was a good thing, as far as they were concerned … until it wasn’t.

I don’t see it as a failure of regulation so much as a plea for it.

Ritalin is methylphenidate, but Adderall and Vyvanse are both forms of amphetamine.

>$1000 lottery win

I AM MIDAS. ALL THAT I TOUCH IS GOLDEN.

>Corporate Profile Dave is on a mission to build products that level the financial playing field. The app launched in 2017 to help Americans avoid billions in overdraft fees charged by traditional banks. Now, Dave is a financial platform serving 10 million members with banking, financial insights, overdraft protection, building credit, and finding side hustles.

This reminds me of that episode of Better Off Ted where Veronica and Ted have to give a presentation on some big "company project" (which doesn't actually exist) to investors and company execs, so they get up on stage, shout some meaningless buzzwords, have a bunch of smoke and flashing lights going, and do a bunch of silly dance moves, to distract everyone from the fact that they're actually saying nothing at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spyJ5yxTfas

In UK there is a TV Channel called Dave

The first line of Dave.com is > Get up to $500 instantly

But the fine print says this is an instant loan that must be paid back. Pretty shady when it's common to see bank accounts and credit cards offering a few hundred dollars to switch

I wouldn't do that, Dave.

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Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

That show was hilarious.

dammit, i gave my tree fiddy to that Loch Ness Monster

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can i trade you some super valuable Trump Superhero NFTs for some fozzle-quarks??

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I believe amphetamines were the drug of choice.

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That show being cancelled so quickly was a tragedy. It struck a good balance in comedy and serious moments for a basically feel-good story about working in the most cynical corporate environment imaginable.

The ad spots were great too. Reminded me of Weyland-Yutani

No way man, the fozzle-quarks are made of Unobtainium, bro. For those that are unfamiliar:

Fozzle-Quark, promised all the tangible benefits of ether in a totally anonymous package. Mining was performed by playing Asteroids or Pac-Man. To mint a coin (one side was Pac-Man the other Asteroids) you had to play equal time on both games and hit high score FROM THE SAME IP ADDRESS within 24 hours. Man that had legs. Soooo many people bought into it. I had 2 lambos in my sights on launch day.

Kinda like crypto. I mean the best example of a complete fraud is the Fozzle-Quark, which promised all the tangible benefits of ether in a totally anonymous package. Mining was performed by playing Asteroids or Pac-Man. To mint a coin (one side was Pac-Man the other Asteroids) you had to play equal time on both games and hit high score FROM THE SAME IP ADDRESS within 24 hours. Man that had legs. Soooo many people bought into it. I had 2 lambos in my sights on launch day.

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remember the good ole days when cokeheads would just steal your CD deck out of your car instead of siphoning billions

On top of that, the break-even for every put on $DAVE is negative dollars. As in, you won't break even on a put unless the share price is < 0 dollars. Which is impossible. Don't buy puts.

This is the LARPing woman of "sultry wood nymph" fame.

Right but the delta seems extreme. At some point the book value of the reserves (do they hold reserves?) should be the floor on value

Yes! Polyamory Genius that she was for a moment last week in her own mind.

They acknowledged they were using meth. Google it.

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Amy Wu led FTX VENTURES. How did she deploy 5.2bn when its 2bn AUM?

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Yep: to be fair they said "amphetamine" not "methamphetamine". We're splitting hairs now. The best quote of all is this one from Caroline (she tweeted this and it still up on twitter):

"nothing like regular amphetamine use to make you appreciate how dumb a lot of normal, non-medicated human experience is"

Here's the tweet: https://twitter.com/carolinecapital/status/1379036346300305408?lang=en

And some press coverage at the time

https://nypost.com/2022/11/15/crypto-ceo-caroline-ellison-tweeted-about-regular-amphetamine-use/

https://www.businessinsider.com/ftx-alameda-sbf-linked-caroline-ellison-amphetamine-tweets-resurface-2022-11

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I loved it. I was not replying to you. Some dude said "But it was Aderall..." like that makes it better. Then he deleted his post.

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it was a Polyjoke :-)

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That sounds like a distinction without a difference - is there another way a regulatory agency pleas for help? Failure + capture are the plea.

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nah. i have like 5 lambos. They're so common these days

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Amy Wu Who?

https://decrypt.co/114233/amy-wu-resigns-ftx-ventures

I got 8 lambos in my pool. OP's got a dusty jacket, and soulless shoes.

The issue isn't with crypto being a non backed asset.

The issue is that FTX stole customer deposits from their exchange and funneled them into their hedge funds (which then lost big time). Directly against their terms of service. And had zero collateral to back up these transfers.

SBF had a literal money making machine (fees from his exchange) and got greedy with it.

Meh, six of one, half a dozen of the other.

WAIT! HOW MANY DID I TAKE?!!

(Your clarification is well received. I seem to have mixed up the meds)