Edit final final - my followup post was rejected for being “not horror.” Mods told me there was “contempt and arrogance” in my writing but not anger Towards Harrison? That’s hilarious.

Anyway, he died at the funeral. We all watched it happen. I won’t bore you with the details.

I won’t be posting from this account again most likely. If I ever write this whole experience up I’ll find a community on this fucking website that likes it. I guess ”Nathanael Dixon” is what you guys call a “burner account?” Ha ha ha Ha ha.

-ND, 3/27/23

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Edit FINAL: they’re taking me back this afternoon, shit went down at the funeral. Harrison is dead. We are all in shock. There’s pencil and paper there so I will be able to write. Will update when I can. Nathanael

Edit 4: UPDATE 3/25/23:

Jesus Christ. I don’t even know what to say. We had the wake, technically. It was peaceful for a while. Until Harrison showed up.

The nerve. He couldn’t stay home for one night? Harrison Weyl, the 32-timer indeed. Venerated saint, martyr extraordinaire. You never saw someone so full of shit. On crutches no less. Bravo, encore. Everyone fawned over him. A small crowd formed to witness his penitence. His endless multifacetedness. Of course. Yes he’s so very sad. And injured. How fucking awful.

Just like in the movies, Mason, the moves make the man and then the man makes the moves.

But then a man makes moves, and other men. And I’m a fucking man, not what that miserable pale murdering nerd called me.

Harrison Weyl is an bigot, a cheat, and a murderer. He killed my friend Vivian Jackson with a whitetail deer antler on Sunday, March 19, 2023 and tried to cover it up with a rather artful lie about a collision with deer on the highway that was untraceable due to the circumstances and remote location. Unfortunately for him he didn’t even fucking know there weren’t any whitetail in Hawaii so his lie caught up to him very quickly. It was a good performance and he really went for broke on the method acting with the injuries but that’s what happened. When I pressed him on his lies that’s when he started to talk about the “man in antlers.” What a fucking joke.

Apparently Harrison had no less than six other “lady friends” in various parts of the world. Lua tracked four down and got in contact with them. There was a fire dancer in Honolulu that he was involved with. Lua showed me the screenshots. One of these people is, no shit, sort of high-profile. Of course I’ll confront him about it but tonight was not the night.

Part of Harrison’s fabrication involved a condition Viv was studying, CWD or Chronic Wasting Disease. For those who don’t know, it’s a neurological disease that affects deer, elk, moose, etc. They essentially become zombified. Harrison, smart as he is I have to hand it to him, knew about this and concocted the man in antlers story to cover up his murder of Vivian. I won’t even repeat the fiction he told me because it’s so disgusting…both the fact that someone could invent such a thing at all and that, additionally, they would do so to avoid the consequences of their own actions. Harrison WAS driving. I guess. Does it matter?

Ok. Slow down. Tonight was even fuckier than last night but if we can get through the funeral tomorrow then we can focus on bringing charges against Harrison. He’s gonna be there, we know it. He and Lua threatened each other at the bonfire, pretty savagely. We had to separate them.

I’m staying with Lua tonight at their place. They’re still feeling pretty low after the events of this week and apparently the mental ward “helps but also doesn’t.” We’ll probably just play games and hang tight until the morning. I’m into shooters and stuff but Lua likes strategy games. Or if we’re feeling naughty we might go to the park and “trap” something. It’s a public park but abandoned after dark and Lua lives right next to it so we can do whatever we want. I know this is odd but when we were crossfaded once we laid in the tall grass in the dark after a fresh rain, waiting for passersby so that we could reach out and grab at their ankles as they passed, maybe a snarl and a tossing of a rock. We never hurt anybody. We would lay on our sides laughing for solid minutes afterwards every time…Those are precious memories now.

Once we were riding in Viv’s parents SUV, she and Lua and me. I was driving and we decided we wanted to scare someone by running them off the road. We did. It shook up them and us. We all said we would have to take that to our graves. Viv was mortified and didn’t talk to us for weeks but life goes on. Ha ha.

The truth is that scaring people is fun. Having the upper hand, catching someone off guard…it’s a rush. And on the rare opportunities when you can scare lots of folks at once there’s this amazing moment where they all take on the same face…just one after the other, numbers in the audience, rapt with attention to the power of fear and wonder. Awe.

I’m talkative tonight.

Anyway, the funeral is still on for tomorrow yes. I’m not looking forward to it but at least we made it through tonight. Many of us were able to swap Vivrant stories and share a laugh, a memory, an impression…Harry and Lua settled down after the initial animosity. Let’s hope they can keep it up just a little longer.

I should go. Lua hasn’t been sleeping well lately but that’s ok. The stress on the poor boy. Twenty-six years old and already a wrinkled face, crow’s feet…ah but those are laugh lines. I play music for her sometimes, guitar or piano, and sing. Not Q-Tip but Mitski, or Alicia Keys, or even Beyoncé. If not the Mahler. Music calms both her nerves and mine like nothing else. I used to read before bed but the dreams only became more terrifying or unsettling. Even after a Wonderland or a Beanstalk. Now I just listen to music all day. Sometimes the characters in the lyrics almost become real to me. I can see them, touch them. They give me advice. Sometimes I sing back, or I sing to Lua’s stormy eyes flickering with anger behind them even in sleep. Such rage in one small person.

I’m going to sing now. Any requests? It’s best to end the night with just one voice. There can be so many voices vying for our attention throughout the day so let me sing to you. Are there voices in your head right now? What do they say to you? Sit back. Close your eyes. Sing with me now. Softly, until they all fall asleep…

Edit: to remove Vivian’s last name.

Edit 2: Ok. Lua and I talked most of the night. All my intuition is telling me there’s nothing supernatural going on. Viv’s wake is tonight so I really don’t have a ton of time to update but I may write something up after that.

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Edit 3: brief update, all I had time to write. Lua and HW are fine. Wake is still on for tonight and funeral for tomorrow. I’m having to update in this post since I made the original post not that long ago.

“I just went to visit Harrison very briefly. I asked him how he was doing, he was pretty drugged up but he said “never better.” I told him I talked to Lua and that I knew it wasn’t him who was driving and he FLIPPED. Kept saying “stop it, get the fuck out, tell Lua to shut the fuck up too.” I had to leave quickly. These are my friends guys. I’m actually scared now.

Since there’s a 1000 word requirement for an update (geeze) I’ll give a little background. My friend Lua’s sister Viv met Harrison at Princeton a few years ago. He was majoring in music and Viv was finishing up her degree in environmental architecture. Apparently they fell for each other very quickly, got married soon after they finished college (he switched to public relations) and were ecstatic to have found each other. Viv had been working with scientists at Princeton on deer populations for years before the trip to Moloka’i. I remember Harrison stole my line to court Viv: “You will have the tallest, darkest leading man in Hollywood.”

Unsurprisingly he turned out to have a bit of a mean streak. As far as I know he never hit Viv but he clearly had anger issues. I saw him blow up a couple of times when he was drunk and yeah it was scary. He got into scrapes occasionally but as far as I knew he was non-violent. He has sustained head injuries before and this shit can’t have helped. I’m really concerned about him. He is a very talented guy but a bit of a weirdo, when I say he was into music I mean classical music. Intensely. His favorite work was this thing by Haydn if I remember right called The Seven Last Words of Christ. Had a ton of biblical knowledge, Christian but like German Christian. Gothic or something. I don’t really know.

Viv, Lua and I all grew up in Texas. There are plenty of Axis deer here too but also plenty of whitetail. Lua and Harrison hunted together a couple of times in Alaska I think. They were into big game and Harry at least was pretty good at it. Elk and such. They got a moose together. Hunting isn’t exactly my thing.

At this point I should say Viv was my dear friend, I knew her best of the three. She and Lua were very close having grown up in the same foster family. She had been interested in the Axis problem in Hawaii since undergrad at Texas A&M and had worked with the deer populations here a bit too. Axis and whitetail both.

Harrison got into business for himself soon after college doing talent management. He’s seriously connected and comes from a family that’s about as close to Illuminati as you can get without any of the crazy shit you see in the movies. Allegedly his family is descended from this German scientist/philosopher guy Hermann Weyl. Harrison and Viv both were total brainiacs. Too much for their own good. Harrison got very rich on his own very fast and they started taking all sorts of trips, you name a place and they went there. Egypt, Greece, Baghdad. Think peace corps without being in the peace corps. They liked to do their own thing.

This is how they ended up in Moloka’i. Viv wanted to do research on the Axis deer population there but was having a hard time getting Princeton faculty on her side, much less grants or donors or anything like that yet. So she and Harrison went to Hawaii together to scope things out and get away. Apparently they had been having trouble.

I’m fairly certain Harrison cheated. Last night Lua referred to him as “the thirty-two-timer” among other things. I’ve never seen someone quite so sideways as Lua is currently. It’s hard. It’s hard to comfort any one person adequately. We all lost her.

Viv and I went to Hawaii a few times. In addition to deer there are numerous other gorgeous flora and fauna there. If you‘re thinking “Hawaiian flower” that’s probably plumerias. Gorgeous. The colors are never not vibrant. In Honolulu you can take wildlife tours and pick the flowers. Viv and I went once. If you can pay for it there are extensive tours that take you into places you can’t imagine, people and cultures we never really consider in day-to-day life here. The three of us went to a fire dance festival one time and Lua ended up crying in the bathroom. Harrison, always great at cheering people up, said “dance Lua! Don’t you know it’s a vivrant thing?” After the Q-Tip song. We would say that about events we all needed to be cheerful for in order to ensure that we could make Viv happy since she had planned them. If we didn’t stay cheerful it would be a Viv Rant thing for sure. Ha ha.

Viv’s parents aren’t around. She had an endless array of friends in different social strata and disciplines - artist, stockbrokers, you name it - but Lua and Harrison and myself were really the “core three” for her. There will be plenty of folks at the bonfire tonight I imagine. Viv was a big deal at Princeton so you can imagine the status she carried in a small Texas town.

My biggest concern at this point is confrontation between Lua and Harry. If I can get one to go to the wake and one to go to the funeral I think everything may be ok. If not Viv’s family and I need to re-evaluate, and quick. I would welcome any and all feedback on how to handle this situation. No matter what I’m not really optimistic for the next 36 hours or so. But I’ll keep you all posted.

Oh dear, oh dear. I have to go for now. Viv’s wake is still on for tonight and Lua has calmed down a bit. I’m somewhat involved in funeral planning so we have a decision to make soon as to whether that’s still on or not. More soon. I have a very important date and I absolutely cannot be late. Not this time. Kommienezuspadt!

P.S. Going out on a limb here but does anyone have any personal experience witnessing CWD?

—Nathanael, 3/24/23

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Original Post

I found my friend’s journal, it’s really fucked. He got fired from his job this week, I drove by and saw cops outside his house. Apparently police took him away to a mental health facility and he just got back today. He can’t be alone so I’m staying with him but I looked through his journal. I know, spare me. It’s too much I don’t know what to do. Should I get anyone else involved? Her funeral is tomorrow and we/I just need everything calm.

“I spent last night in a mental ward. I don’t really want to go into why. It involves a suicide attempt, police, an overprotective mother…anyway, this is what I wrote down while I was there. It’s also why I was there.

“My sister Vivian, who was alive until Sunday evening of this week, was an environmental scientist working in Moloka’i, Hawaii. Fun fact: on Moloka’i there are more than eight Axis deer for every human being. These are not to be confused with whitetail deer which are found more in the continental United States, but notably not in Hawaii and definitely not on Moloka’i. I make this distinction deliberately.

On Sunday evening Vivian and her husband Harrison were driving down highway 450 in Moloka’i, or rather up into the hills. Viv’s work involved gathering various samples from the deer population there. Axis deer were introduced into Hawaii as a gift to King Kamehameha I in the late 19th century So they do not occur naturally. They are wreaking havoc on the population there and that’s what Viv’s work was contributing to, although I admittedly and regrettably don’t understand what she was doing as well as I would have hoped. I should have asked.

According to Harrison, he was driving and he and Viv ended up behind a truck of some kind going up into the hills and the truck hit one of the deer, a buck. Harrison told me they thought it was raining at first and then they realized it was blood from the carcass right before the head hit the windshield. He was driving but the antlers came through the windshield and killed her instantly. It wasn’t an Axis antler It was a whitetail one.“

I’m in the hospital with Harrison now in Texas, he woke up today but he’s not doing great. He keeps going on about “the man in antlers” and how “he got her. he got Viv.” We are very concerned about him. But he’s very tough. He always did love to hunt. He was very good at it, very thorough. No one had trouble rubbing deer piss on their necks but I remember he would carry antlers on hunts with us to simulate the sounds of bucks fighting. He’s a very smart and creative guy. He’s on life support and for now I’m the only one who can pull the trigger or not since everyone’s flying in tomorrow for Viv’s funeral. It’s just me and Harry for now. We’re so glad he’s safe, aren’t we?“