Submitted by unicornasaurous t3_zmyel4 in nottheonion
Comments
unicornasaurous OP t1_j0duvnz wrote
>During a police interview, Wilson said he planned the robbery and had stopped at Chipotle next door to use the restroom because he was nervous, the document stated.
[deleted] t1_j0duyph wrote
[deleted]
epic_meme_guy t1_j0dv9nm wrote
RIP that Chipotle bathroom 😔🙏
Treekiller t1_j0dwqlq wrote
Or hes mentally ill homeless and. Doest want to freeze
Tyrantt_47 t1_j0dxnce wrote
>He wanted to go to jail for whatever reason.
It's winter and cold outside. Jail will give him a warm place to sleep and food to eat. It's probably a better option than trying to survive a cold winter
thinkfast1982 t1_j0dyptb wrote
It's Chipotle; it has seen worse.
Acadia_Due t1_j0e082q wrote
Not the most efficient way to hold a heist if you ask me, but they say learning is a journey.
OracleofFaeries t1_j0efeyn wrote
He could be another guy looking for medical treatment.
Edit: More than likely just a survival strategy
ShadowDragon8685 t1_j0fnmad wrote
Bank robbery is not a petty crime. In fact, it's a felony.
Even so, the judge is sure to look at the circumstances and say that he was clearly doing this to be institutionalized. I think the usual response in those cases is to say "you did this to be arrested and incarcerated, so I'm not inclined to reward that behavior by giving you what you want; but if I do not, I have every reason to believe you will commit a far more serious and earnest crime."
mrpoops t1_j0gc0tc wrote
Exactly. It’s all beans and ecoli.
Avery_Thorn t1_j0gd68f wrote
This bank does business in my area, and I was curious as to the odd name.
Turns out the current corporation was formed when two smaller banks merged, in order to have a better shot at making it. During this time period, banks were normally named things like “First National Bank or Podunk”. The larger bank was the 5th national bank, and the smaller bank was the 3rd National Bank. When they combined, they took both names and because the 5th / 3rd National Bank.
poorbill t1_j0h05dp wrote
I figured it was something like that, but wasn't sure. I still think it's kind of funny though.
Llenette1 t1_j0hxw9g wrote
I...didn't think about that. Well I'm sure the cavity check is gonna EXTRA thorough now.
Jdog6984 t1_j0ioqni wrote
The 5/3 compromise
The_Real_IT_Guy t1_j0tic93 wrote
I was not told that there would be fractions.
epic_meme_guy t1_j0dug6e wrote
He also told the teller to hit the alarm. He wanted to go to jail for whatever reason.