"when I'm in charge every mission is a suicide mission!"

Just sad they have to have an internal training program to get them up to that standard, public education is sadly lacking in this area.

Hrrrmmnn.... Our recruits are too young, stupid, and fat... What can we do about that?

Excellent, more fodder for the bridge crews. Send them first on chasm assaults to draw the Parshendi arrows.

Buy stupid shit, win stupid prizes. I know that's not how the saying goes but my nail clipper doesn't need internet connectivity! And neither does the washing machine or the fridge or the RC. These things yell spyware so hard it can be heard on the moon. And even when it doesn't, some hacker will take charge of it to spread kiddie porn. Stop buying this shit!

We (navy here as well) joked that extraordinarily stupid people in the army that we worked with had to have been ASVAB waivers.

I've encountered a lot.

They have always had these... When I went to basic training in Ft. Leonard Wood, they had the "fat platoon." These people would be in holdover status and wouldn't get shipped off to their training company till they got their BMI down. It was, from what I could tell, very effective.

Haha! The government not pissing on consumers and letting companies get away with literally anything, good one!

Wait.. this isn't r/jokes!

So you're allowed to be 6% heavier but 33% dumber. Makes sense, welcome to the army.

Army G-League. Those two-way contracts must be killer.

I remember when I joined the Navy they had a list of what your ASVAB percentage needed to be to be accepted into the airforce, navy, coast guard, army, or marines. Marines and army were much lower than the others and our recruiters were joking when we went to MEPS to take our ASVAB that if we didn't score high enough they were going to send us next door (marines recruiter was next door). lol

keep in mind, it's not exactly like every soldier has to be the perfect cross of Albert Einstein and an olympic athlete either. The military still needs people who are content mopping floors, replacing lightbulbs, and moving gear from point A to point B.

Just make them police officers

stripes 2

Lowering the bar on standards. What next “Special” army recruitment ????

This is nothing new. Look up McNamara's Morons. The military loves using low IQ folks as cannon fodder.

It's not consumers' fault they don't have time to read a novel for every purchase they make. Companies should stop being shitty, and the government should help keep this nonsense from happening

Seems entirely reasonable. It's a sad indictment on the education system and society as a whole, but if you have standards society isn't providing, you gotta do it yourself.

Dumpany

The Fat and Stupid brigade. Fits in with the rest of America.

looks like it's just like a pre-boot camp to help recruits get better scores either physically or academically.

Well, they already forgo psychological standards...

help me step-roomba I'm stuck

Honestly, I couldn't care less if a fuzzy picture of me on the toilet is shown to a group of developers for learning purposes. And if this picture somehow ends up on the internet, still don't care. It's not like they attach your name to it and it's the first thing that comes up when somebody googles you. The headline makes it sound like the pictures were linked to people's personal Facebook pages.

I'd rather see all the dust, legos, and pet fur it's picked up. Let's see everything roomba earning its keep!