Recent comments in /f/nottheonion
[deleted] t1_j5ign8w wrote
Reply to comment by hour_of_the_rat in ‘They’re here! They’re here!’: wild pigs are trying to take over Canada by PeterDTown
[deleted]
AndorianShran t1_j5ig8s8 wrote
Reply to comment by andadashofglitter in The Fyre Festival fraudster is launching his latest thing, and it looks like a party on an island by Worldly_Pirate_9817
PRZN**
humboldt77 t1_j5ifefq wrote
Reply to comment by twitch_delta_blues in Girl asks police to run DNA test on Christmas cookie for evidence of Santa Claus by Pessimist2020
“Oh my god… my mom had an AFFAIR with Santa Claus?! How will I tell dad?”
AGDude t1_j5iewko wrote
Reply to Gardener loses four fingers after the grenade he used as the key holder explodes by rocketboy44
I wonder what caused the grenade to suddenly explode.
Let's see what the article has to say about that:
>On January 12 at around 3 PM, he pulled the safety pin of the hand grenade and it exploded twice in his right hand.
That sounds about right. Though I do wonder what it means for it to explode twice. Maybe the article is counting the ignition as an "explosion?"
egregiouscodswallop t1_j5iduxg wrote
Reply to The Fyre Festival fraudster is launching his latest thing, and it looks like a party on an island by Worldly_Pirate_9817
Love that he and Anna Delvey are back on their bullshit at the same time. Kindred spirits!
Stayvfraw t1_j5idkjh wrote
“Young lady, the only DNA we found on those cookies are from your mother placing them on the plate, and the Roanoke River Killer from taking a bite out of them.”
zubaz69 t1_j5id7jz wrote
Reply to comment by Legal_Refuse in Gardener loses four fingers after the grenade he used as the key holder explodes by rocketboy44
Probably have to get a new key ring too. He lost the other one. He can't quite put his finger on where they are.
andadashofglitter t1_j5icfr6 wrote
Reply to comment by Sunshinehaiku in The Fyre Festival fraudster is launching his latest thing, and it looks like a party on an island by Worldly_Pirate_9817
Pryson*
giant2179 t1_j5icajd wrote
Reply to comment by sfenders in Expert says ‘Trees are the enemy’ when it comes to water production by alxzsites
If only transpiration was a critical part of the water cycle
TheHighWarlord t1_j5iby19 wrote
Reply to comment by westborneastbred in A woman who got wasted at a Marilyn Manson concert blew up $15 million worth of property. She's suing the company that served her. by end_of_rainbow
> The bar may have the legal responsibility to stop serving her. But she was 100 percent at fault for the 12 million in damage she did
If the bar has a legal responsibility, then she can't be 100% at fault. Those are two contradictory statements is what I'm telling you.
Also, anyone can file a lawsuit over anything. Even though it's unlikely a jury or judge will find the bar responsible for all of the damages, there is nothing wrong with aiming high and landing somewhere in the middle.
ThanksForTheRain t1_j5ibga4 wrote
Reply to comment by Spectre211286 in Girl asks police to run DNA test on Christmas cookie for evidence of Santa Claus by koavf
Yeah I don't remember ever believing in Santa, but it was fairly obvious that the handwriting on Santa's gifts looked a LOT like my mother's
I always pretended to believe, because I was afraid if I stopped, I would no longer get any gifts on Christmas lol
WhatIsNoMan t1_j5ibef7 wrote
Dear Penthouse,
I never thought this would happen to me.
Santa and his reindeer are sitting around having a circle jerk onto a cookie...
bigby2010 t1_j5ibag3 wrote
Expert in dipshittery?
Jman50k t1_j5ib7w3 wrote
Reply to Girl asks police to run DNA test on Christmas cookie for evidence of Santa Claus by Pessimist2020
It took me a minute to process whether the title was wholesome or horrific.
Acceptable_Wall4085 t1_j5iazrs wrote
Getting rid of all those wind causing leaves will make for nicer weather too.
f_elon t1_j5iah8f wrote
Reply to Norwegian government funds research to find out if white paint is racist by EntertainmentNo2044
Landlords enter the chat
kevinds t1_j5ia4v6 wrote
Reply to comment by ealing_ceiling in Spa sorry for offending victims of NI violence by IJustWantedThis
>This says "balaclavas" (the hats that burglars wear)
A lot more people wear them because it is cold outside than because they are burglars..
rhaegar_tldragon t1_j5i826f wrote
Reply to comment by sfenders in Expert says ‘Trees are the enemy’ when it comes to water production by alxzsites
I have done the next best thing.
f_elon t1_j5i7ysd wrote
Reply to Gardener loses four fingers after the grenade he used as the key holder explodes by rocketboy44
Next time will be the last time
dmk_aus t1_j5i7jzr wrote
Reply to comment by baeb66 in Man Calls Police After Hearing A Woman Screaming In NYPD Precinct Parking Lot, Turns Out It Was Two Officers Having Sex by nimobo
Well and potentially arrested too.
twitch_delta_blues t1_j5i6uye wrote
Reply to Girl asks police to run DNA test on Christmas cookie for evidence of Santa Claus by Pessimist2020
Miss, I don’t know how to tell you this…YOUR FATHER IS SANTA CLAUS!
KeaboUltra t1_j5i6sga wrote
Reply to comment by Stealthy_Facka in Pet fish commits credit card fraud on owner using a Nintendo Switch by TheBlairwitchy
I remember my mom had nintendo refund a digital DSi purchase after I bought a game without her permission. they refunded her but in turn, my console/account was completely barred from using any credit card. Years later I called them back to try to undo it because I still use the account to this day. I had to explain the reasoning but thankfully was able to undo it.
[deleted] t1_j5i6f1e wrote
Reply to comment by ---space-- in Man Calls Police After Hearing A Woman Screaming In NYPD Precinct Parking Lot, Turns Out It Was Two Officers Having Sex by nimobo
[deleted]
KeaboUltra t1_j5i6es1 wrote
Cheep Cheep, bitch
BoxGrover t1_j5ihdb0 wrote
Reply to ‘Cow Dung Protects From Atomic Radiation’, Says Local Court While Sentencing Youth to Life by chacko96
The Hindutva have taken india back to caste and religious wars, ignorance and hatred